Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: my friend rob posted a bulliten on myspace saying that he was suicidal again. and he said that he had a knife and a lighter in his bedroom and he wasnt afraid to use them, he also said that meybe he'd add a rope in to and that he wasnt afraid to kill himself. should i tell someone? if i do, who do i tell? will he hate me? should i talk to him first?
he's a good friend of mine. i dont wanr him to die. please help me.

Go see him as soon as possible if his parents are home tell them or school counsler if he is going to od it right away call the police. but it also sounds like he could be looking for attention but take it seriously. maybe he wants to see whom cares

Q: My hair is really thin, but I want it down for my wedding, so I wanted a small, not-too-flashy tiara to go with my dress and veil. David's Bridal prices on tiaras are a bit too much for me, so I was wondering where else in the US I could get a nice tiara for a decent price.

You can buy them at Wal Mart in the Fabrics.

Q: Okay. I'm a female.. Well I have been dating a guy for awhile. And my niece just died. I have been kind of sad, And the guy I'm dating said he has been hearing stuff. Like I don't like him. But I really do. The other day I got a text message from him and it said "It feels like you don't like me anymore." And I want him to believe that I do. But Its hard to convince him because people are still saying that I dont like him. But He's starting to act different around me. Any ideas? :(

Tell him about your niece and how you feel a little depressed about it and you miss her and stuff that's why you have been kind of "blah". Let him know. that the rumors people are telling him are just rumors and that you like him a lot and you don't want to loose him. have a seat and tell him this look him straight in the eyes and tell him.

Q: I am undecided on what gym to join, it's either "the Total Woman's Gym & Day Spa or L.A. Fitness". This are my doubts on both:

Woman's Gym:
Closer to my home, don't have to get on the FWY
It offers great dance and workout classes
It's all women so it is more comfortable
limited workout machines
Membership is about $10 dollars more then L.A. Fitness but it includes unlimited dance classes.
I saw two reviews online that this gym has lousy customer service.
Doesn't have the step master I love.

L.A. Fitness:
A bit far from home, I have to get on the FWY.
No good dance or work out classes.
Co-ed so I might feel a bit intimidated with men.
Various locations to use and a lot of workout machines.
Membership is a bit cheaper then the woman's gym but if I want to take dance classes it will cost me much more then the other gym.
Great gym used to go before but then stopped.
Has the step master I love to use and many other machines.

Which one to join, I'm very undecided..............HELP!!!

& thanks for your advice, I truly appreciate it

I think you should go to Womans Gym because you can do the dance classes and stuff. and working with all woman will make you feel comfortable and wont have to worry abot the men. You can buy a step master.

Q: My friend send me a text saying we can't no longer be friends. We were the best of friends, confide in one another with our problems and issues. I depended on her and she knew she could count on me. This is what apparently did it for her:

She invited me to her bff's wedding and I told her I would go. She emailed me info on the wedding but when I replied she didnt' respond. I got really sick for 3 days and didn't call her nor did she. Then came Thanksgiving and the day after she text me "you should have told me you couldn't make it to the wedding" the event was a day after Thanksgiving. I replied what are you talking about you didn't call me to confirm. She then said we could no longer be friends.........

She holds against me that she didn't make it to her bff's wedding. I mean if you invite someone to a special event isn't it that person's responsibility to follow up and plan things out? I did say I would go but got really sick and since she didn't call I didn't know what was going on..............

She also holds against me her bday. We were suppose to celebrate it at a club and when I text her (a few minutes before we left) if my friend could go she wrote "go with her & take care" I text her back "nah it's your bday" she kept saying "no go and have fun" I did go and she holds that against me.............

Now where did I go wrong?

Okay I have a question first are you male or female?? I dont know how to look at your profile.. but if you are a male maybe she is building up feelings for you. If you are female it also sounds like something else could be bothering her. and she needs someone to talk to but is scared to or something?

Q: So I've had an eating disorder for almost 4 years now and I'm trying to recover. I was in the hospital for 9 months this year. Before I left I had like a natural high. I was feeling so good about myself and not worried about my weight and I knew I was healthy. About a month after I got out all of my problems came back. It was really hard because I gained 30 pounds. I'm 5'7 and now weigh 120, which I know is "healthy" but I want to be less. I know I can't lose weight though because I will never lose enough to please myself and I'll just cause myself to relapse. If I don't restrict/purge I harm myself in other ways (cutting, popping pills, etc.). I feel like I have no one to talk to about it, besides my therapist..but I want a friend I can go to at any time and talk to this about.

It's hard in this society looking at all the super- models, actresses, etc. But being 120 pounds at 5'7 is wonderful and if you need some one to talk to im here as well..

myspace: www.myspace.com/countrybabe1560

Maybe putting your self in a recorvary hospital where they help you over come this fear you have. Or sign up for a gym member ship tell them you have Anorexia and working out at a gym with help you keep in fit the right way might be able to see what its like to stay healthy groups? tv shows about what can happen. Scare your self into not doing it if you have you. tell you parents cousins family any one that you need someone to talk to. Good Luck

Q: Okay so I am 13, in the 8th grade and I am a girl. Ever since 7th grade I have had the biggest crush on this boy, lets call him Collin. In 7th grade the crush was not too bad, it wasn't until the summer before 8th grade that I started to talk to him, A LOT and I really fell head over heels. I know almost everything about him, his middle name, his favorite color, his favorite food, his biggest fear etc. and he knows all of these things about me. We have gotten really close and stuff but this is all outside of school, like at friends houses where not a lot of people are around or on IM or something. Lately, however, we have been talking a lot more at school and I walk to class with him and stuff like that. But then something weird happened. On Sunday night we were talking on IM and everything was perfect but then Monday he wasn't signed on and on Tuesday for some reason I had an odd suspicion so I logged onto a secret screen name and saw that he had blocked me! I couldn't understand it. So today (Wednesday) I asked him why he blocked me and he mumbled something that I couldn't hear and then started telling me this story. Now, I am not sure if this story has anything at all to do with why he blocked me/what he mumbled or if he was just trying to change the subject, but this is basically what he said. His friend's mom asked Collin "are you dating ____ (my name)?" now Collin thought that his friends mom was just joking around so Collin said "Oh yeah, of course" but it turns out she wasn't joking so now the son (his friend) has been all up in Collin's business about Collin and me thinking we are like secretly dating but Collin told me he didn't care what his everyone else thought and he was sorry that he had pulled me into this. So now I am confused, did this story have anything to do with why he blocked me? and if it doesn't... then what does this all mean??

It sounds like he was a little embarssed although he says he wasn't? I would ask him. Ask him how he feels about what she and his friend are saying.

Tell him you didn't understand what he had mumbled the other day. You may also be over reacting and not notice it. Im not saying your wrong but if i wake up in the morning and my fiance doesn't call me until say 2 or 3 pm i start to worry and think back thoughts. When nothing was going on he either slept in or was working outside or something. so Take a breath and either wait it off or get to the bottum of it.

Q: How you think god want us to live? all of these people on here you know talking about wanting sex and all these crap. do you think god want us live that way? all the drama and all this? wonder why weather so mess up? ever think maybe God is angery and hurt. if god ask you for advice. let say god ask what can I do make this world better place? how I can stop all the maddness? think about it..

If god is calling you out to change this world or even help out than go for it. God want's us to live by the bible. Although this world would be a better place if we followed his guildlines. Everything happens for a reason we learn from our mistakes. I don't live by the bible i have sex im not married and moving in with my boyfriend i have a child and im only 17. But i respect what he did for us on dieing on thr cross and i think we call all do little things to help in this society

Q: ok so i am tring to quit SI (cutting self injuring) what are some of the withdrawl symptoms. I not talking about the itching or anything. I mean ihave been clean for 6 weeks and i am having dreams of cutting and thoughts pains and everything i just dont understand. why do i want to sooooo bad and these headaches and being dizy. I have also have had painic attacks aleast once and night. idk is this normal?

My doctor had me wear a rubber band on my wrist and snap it when ever i had the urge to cut. try talking to your doctor.

Q: I was diagnosed with fibrocystic breasts (sp?). A couple of months ago I had noticed a few new lumps that haven't gone away, but haven't really changed size or shape either.

I'm assuming they are also cysts, but should I and get them checked out just in case? Am I supposed to do that with each new lump I get?

And also, when I was diagnosed, all the gyno did was give me a breast exam using her hands. I never had a mammogram or a needle aspiration done. I'm 17 so I'm pretty sure its not cancer, but should I request to get a mammogram or aspiration done, or should I just trust the doctor knows what she's doing?

Oh and I have completely eliminated caffiene from my diet, because I know it causes you to get more lumps, and I also know these lumps aren't menstrual cycle associated because they haven't gone away.

Do what you need to do to feel comfortable about what is going on. Go to the doctor and get the new lumps checked out and while your there maybe you should request the other tests just in case.

Q: I am in my late 20's and still living at home. I wish I could live on my own but currently want to help out my parents so I am living with them. I contribute by paying rent and various bills for my parents. I try my best to help them as much as I can since my father doesn't have a stable job and my mother is the only one maintaining our home.

My question is the following......My brother who is 22 is living with us. He brought in his girlfriend and they both don't pay nothing at home. I've talked to my parents about this but they dont' say nothing. All I have heard from my mom is "Be nice and do things for others and let God work his wonders" I am with that but I think it's very unfair. I haven't moved out to help them out while my brother and his girlfriend are living here for free, unfair..........

What should I do?? Should I talk to my brother and put some rules or should I just shut up and be quiet? It is my parents home and they are okay with letting him be the way he is so am I out of hand by being mad that he eats, sleeps and etc............for FREE?

I am very frustrated with this, need some advice........

It is your parents home and I am sure they are happy with you helping out and very grateful for it. One day they will get sick of your brother and his girlfriend living there for free not doing anything on there own. Or there may be th ings you dont know maybe they are saving up for their own place etc. stay quiet about it for now. He is your brother and all.

Q: What is a real friend?
How do you know you if you're friend is real or not?

Your true friends don't judge you. They are there for you through anything. You can tell them anything and fell comfortable telling them. They know how to cheer you up when you said the dont pressure you into anything. etc.

Q: what can i do to make my damaged hair healthier.
in other words what can i do to make my hair HEALTHY? products, home treatments and such..

Well first off cut of your dead and damaged ends. You can buy all this stuff at Wal Mart.. Hot Oil treatment. It has directions but all you do is fill a cup with Hot water and put the oil tubes in it. when in the shower you put it on your hair and i think you leave it in for 3 m inutes. then rinse it out. Treseme has some good shampoo and conditioner to treat damaged hair.. if you straighten your hair get the heating spray .

Q: Does anyone know where i can watch the movie I'll do Anything online? It has Nick Nolte and Whittni Wright in it. It's from 1994 (i think).

Thankss!!

I watch movies from davidmovies.com but you have to go to google.com then search davidmovies.com

Q: Ever since 7th grade, I am now a freshman, I cannot seem to like a guy for more than a month, give or take a few days/weeks.
Usually I find a guy that is either hard to get or really quiet, then I make him like me. Then I am excited for a couple days, but I get sick of the person about a week after they start showing that they like me.
I like boys to like me, but when they do, I don't care much for them. It's like a game that I can't stop.

I WANT TO KNOW IF THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME! Does anyone else have this problem? Is it a phase? Will I finally find the right person and STICK with them?!?

It's a phase. The way mine was broke was that i had gotten pregnant and my sons father cheated on me and i stayed with him for the baby put my self through tons of drama and stuff for nothing. Well after all that i relized i didnt need him there. A few months later i started dating this guy who was kind of controling and i didnt like it but i stayed with him trying to work things out. I now understand that you have to put your all into a relationship if you want it to work out. it never will if you give up on it. dont get bored with them just spice your relationship up. go have fun shopping, park, movies. dancing etc.

Q: 15/f
in 8th grade all i did was straighten my hair.. & in 9th grade all i did was scrunch my hair.. haha i've now realized how bad it is for your hair so i haven't been doing anything to my hair besides a bit of gel and hairspray.. from the past my hair is split, dry and frizzy. what can i do? btw whats worse scrunching or straightening your hair?

Get your dead ends and split ends cut off. There is spray that you use before straighting your hair. thermal treseme shampoo and conditionar. just look at the products in walmart.

Q: 18/f.
i think it's time for a change :)
so i've never really done anything with a guy before besides the making out, getting felt up, gotten a hickey you know that kind of stuff, never had an actual boyfriend but i really like this guy. have for three years now. i know he wants to do something with me, he's always tried to get down my pants,and things like that but i've always been to scared so i push him away like i don't want him to! i do want to, he makes me horny but i'm nervous. i know i'm not ready for sex, i've told him that but getting fingered doesn't really bother me. i was just wondering if i'm the only one who feels like this. did any of you feel like he would think your vagina was smelly, or your "lips" were different sizes, your vagina was not smooth enough, that you were too wet? i always overthink everything, and i know it would probably feel good but i'm scared that my vagina is so abnormal. and i have to wear a pantyliner because i usually have a lot of discharge, so i have taken that off before i've seen him (just in case) and he would always touch me and i would get really wet, and my underwear would be like soaked and i was worried he could like feel it through my jeans and so i'm worried if he did finger me he would be like wow, thats disgusting. just little things like that worries me. and i mean, i know alot of people who do it with their pants on, wouldn't that be sort of an awkward position? just any information, experiences, anything that could help me would be very much appreciated. please don't tell me to make sure it's with a boy i'm in love with, make sure i'm ready because i know i am but it is my first time getting fingered so obviously i'm going to be worried about it. my cousin who is 17 just told me tonight he fingered this girl (she is not a slut) and he told me that it was her first time and she was scared but she still did it. i don't understand how people just do it and don't always have doubts. i feel like if i just do it the first time, i will be okay after that. it's just taking the first step. well anything else that could turn him on would also help, just any tips that could help me with the "turning him on" and making him really want me will be great. thank you so much!

You being really wet down there turns a guy on. I am that way and my fiance loves it! Makes him feel good about him self. That he gets me that wet. I dont know about the smelling part I haven't ever had a problem with that. I am sure if you wash down there and take care of your self you are fine. "lips" don't matter that is what makes you, you sort of. take a deep breath and calm down.!

Q: 17/F

I was with my boyfriend, Jake, for about 9 months. We've had MANY lows and few highs, but our relationship level was somewhat in the middle. A lot had to do with the fact that I live an hour away from him, so we only saw each other about twice a week.

Well, these past two weeks we hadn't seen each other much at all. We were also hitting a rough patch because I didn't drive down to see him as often as I usually did. I went and saw him the other day, and it was him who brought up that we should break up. The break up was not bad at all -- in fact, it was probably the best break up ever -- and that's what makes it so much harder.

He wants to be good friends with me. He even said, "If I could choose between being really unhappy but dating you, or not talking to you at all, I'd stay with you because I can't stand not having you in my life." Another things he said was "I honestly might regret this in a few days, so if I call you, you can do one of two things: disregard me, or really, really, reconsider it." He said that we would hang out often, call each other, etc. He said he would start calling me in a week.

I know I was mentally prepared for it, but the impact of the breakup really tore me apart. I teared up a lot when we were talking, but I really broke down when I left his house and got away from his view. Now, I can't stop thinking about him. I think it's one of those "want what you don't have" type of things.

I'm terrified to be his friend because I don't know how to be -- we were NEVER "just friends". We also respect each other enough to give each other room to adjust before dating other people. However, I'm scared of this whole friend thing, as I just said. I'm afraid that, if we're friends, I won't get over him when I really should.

What are the best ways to get over a breakup?

My ex and i were only together for 6 months and broke up because he was to controlling but i was in love with him. We got back together about two months later. I stayed the night at his house cleaned and cooked for his 18th birthday. I went to the party he even convinced me to sleep with him that night. the next night after the party he said good bye hugged me and told me how much he loved me. the next day i called him to see what he was doing and his girlfriend answered and told me i needed to stop calling. i was depressed and miserable for MONTHS. he tried to be friend but everytime i talked to him i cried. the only way i was able to get over him and stop thinking about him was to take him out of my life completely. i still think about him sometimes. and he still trys to call me and stuff (this happened last year around June. when we first started dating. June of 07. i know its not that exact same as of whatyour going through but i though my example might help. but now i am over him doesnt matter if someone talks about him or he calls im over him.

Q: I want to join a gym but don't know if to join a woman's gym or a Co-Ed gym.........

People tell me to join a Co-Ed gym since I might meet some guy friends but this one woman's gym offers a very good deal.........

Any suggestions?

Depends on why you want to join the gym. If you signing up to meet men than go to a co-ed gym. but gyms are to keep or get your self into shape. and womans gym would probly keep you focused better rather than a co-ed gym.. good luck

Q: so i like this boy and he likes me a lot but im also hearing theres this other girl who likes him but i dont know how he feels about her. what are some things i could do to win him over?

Go with the " go after what you want and if it doesn't want you back than it doesn't deserve you anyways" Flirt with him. Show him your interested. Teasing. Be your self with a little spice. good luck.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.