Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84187
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i have this project to do and it says that i have to create a timeline of WWII also the holocaust but it also says be creative. i have all the information but i need a creatine way of making a time line for that period of time (link)
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Use a mock-up of the Berlin Wall.
Michele
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me and my parents have never got on i was kinda sexual abused by my dad (not going into detail) and my mum never did anything about it i didnt know what was going on as i was young at the time, now its 5 years later i know there was something wrong about it, i have cut my wrist many times and mum and dad know i have tryed to kill myself just endded up on a drip for days my friends and boy friends will do anything for me but i dont feel like its enough at the moment im always gettin into arguments with my dad whenever i say u hav hurt me he like denies it and says he has never touched me (which is complete bulls**t) and he knows it, i want to do anything i can to hurt him to get him abck for the times he has hurt me and all he seems to do is punish me hes really stubborn and wont listen to anything i say at all he just wants to take things away from me and i dont know what to do anymore, going into hospital and cutting my wrist didnt seem to make him think that he was the one hurting me, my mum wont listen to me and whenever i say something to her she goes off crying and my sister does the say i feel like im all allone all the time and dont knwo what to do aymore :'( when id did get a social worker they didnt believe me because my mum dad and sister lied and now i have a counseller all she does is go on my parents side and it p**ses me off!
what can i do????
btw im 14! (link)
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You have been violated by the two people in your life that you are supposed to be able to trust. That hurts! A lot! And it is made worse because no one will acknowlege that the act happened, or that you are owed an apology. Everyone is in denial. Your mom's refusal to acknowledge that you were violated by your dad, and her refusal to do anything about it, most likely hurts worse. And you also have to face him each day. Oh my God, it is not wonder that you have problems. The therapist also sounds like a jerk, and you know why she takes your parents side, because they pay the bill. It is not OK,none of it is OK, but you are a minor child, so what are you do to? Nothing is happening now though right? So here is what you CAN do. Start thinking about yourself. Start loving your self and being kind to yourself. Be the parent you always wanted to be to yourself. Get an education, stay in school, be succesful....hell, become famous, and guess who will want to see their little girl and be in her good graces and share in her success.........well your parents of course, and that is when you can tell them to go f*** off!
You will never get the satisfaction that you need from these two. You will never get the acknowledgement from your father that he is a pedophile. You will never get the apology that you so rightly deserve. But you can get revenge. Stop hurting yourself, that is no bother to them, they just point to your behavior (cutting/depression) and say your crazy. And outsiders see what you are doing to yourself and agree. BE PATIENT. Get better, get stronger, get smarter, get away, get rich, get famous, then get revenge. No you don't have to shoot them, or cut them or even have them arrested. Just be polite, and when they seem to want to be your parents the most....to be proud of the beautiful young lady that they helped to raise.....that is when you reject them....and yes it will all be worth it. It will hurt them worse than anything else you could do. You know why, because all three of you will KNOW the REAL REASON for your rejection. The police don't care, the lawyers don't care, the courts don't care. In situations like that, you never know what side they will be on. IT could all backfire on you. Like it has with the therapist. But your own rejection of them, when it will count the most, is when they want to be your proud parents, and you dump them.
You sound like a very smart girl. You know the truth, you know the deal. They are the loosers, not you. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You are the only one who is OK. they are rotten, but right now they are the adults and in control. So it seems to you that all is lost, there is no help. but some day YOU WILL BE AN ADULT. In fact there is no stopping it. Now you can grow into adult hood with emotional problems, drug and alcohol problems, and mixed up in lousy relationships, drop out of school, and all that. That is what a lot of girls in your situation have done because of their stupid parents and not being raised in a loving and supportive home. OR you can go into adulthood with a good education, and plans for your future, and when you are standing on your own two feet, you won't need anyone. and you wil be proud of yourself, as well as the friends you make along the way.
Also be careful about your relationship. Because you were violated, you may make the wrong choices in men, choose guys that are not good enough for you just so you won't be alone. Thinking there is something wrong with you and you deserve to be treated badly. WRONG.You deserve to be treated well, cherished like a princess. You will find someone some day who will treat you that way, but you must be patient, and you must avoid trouble. Just keep telling yourself that you are taking steps to ensure that you have a wonderful future. Don't loose site of it. and follow your goals. You will be glad that you did. Good luck to you I know that you can do it. I went through the same thing. I have so much power now, on one can hurt me. And I have people who love and cherish me. And I have two sons who were raised in a loving home. They are happy and well adjusted. They are teenagers. And they don't hate me. Isn't that wonderful. I must have done something right. But if I followed my parents example. They would not be OK. This is doable. Please try. WRite to me again if you like. I will continue to give you encouragement.
PS Tell your therapist that I think she's a lousy therapist.
Good luck to you dear.
Michele
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my parents divorsed when i was 3, my dad got remaried about 2 years ago with out asking me or even telling me about it, or her. i hate her and my dad knows but doesnt care how do i get rid of her!?! (link)
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SOME Psychologists and Family Therapists say that parents should not remarry until their children are grown, and this is why. You feel left out and it is bad enough that your family is not intact, now you have to deal with an "intruder". At the very least, someone who is competing for your fathers attention. But fact is there is not much you can do. If she is a witch, and not nice to you or him. The best thing you can do is stay out of the way, and give her enough rope to hang herself. If she is not good, he will figure it out and dump her soon enough. But if you keep pointing out her faults, that means he is ALSO at fault for choosing her, and he won't want to be wrong, so he will keep her longer than normal so as to make things work. It is easier for him to figure things out on his own, without input from others. And like one other person advised. YOU MUST BE CIVIL. You cannot be the trouble maker, because you will just bring trouble onto yourself. Be patient. Some day you will be an adult and on your own. Your relationship with your dad with be different then.
I hope this helps.
Michele
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What would you recommend for a person making $25,000 as a monthly rent. (link)
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Well, when I was your age, they used to say that your rent sould be 1/4 of your monthly pay. That would be $520.00 a month in your case. But depending on where you live, that may be doable or not. If you live in NYCITY, then $25,000 a year is almost poverty level. You can't afford a rent there. Or boston for that matter. Down south rents are cheaper than in New England. And many places in California are very expensive. That is why many young people have room mates, but of course that can open doors to all kinds of other problems if it turns out that you are not compatible. Good luck in your search for a decent rent.
Michele
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I don’t think people have anything to live for at all. Most people live for other people even thought everyone will eventually die. I think life is pointless and there is no such thing as “making a difference” because in the end none of it matters. My teacher says everyone wants to be remembered after they die, I don’t want to be remembered. Some people live for God, which I think is stupid because I don’t believe in God. If I did, I would hate him, why? Because he has control over us. Killing yourself is wrong because you’re interfering with “God’s little plan”, right? That doesn’t sound right now, does it? Everything happens for a reason doesn’t it? If something happened to make you want to kill yourself then is killing yourself still wrong? If God doesn’t want it to happen then it shouldn’t happen because he makes everything happen, doesn’t he? Can someone help me understand this whole “God” concept? (link)
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Like you I have had doubts about God, but then I read a book called Where Two Worlds Touch, or When Two Worlds Touch, by Gloria Karpinski. It really opened my eyes. It is NOT about GOD, it is about sprituality. It made a lot of sense to me. In a nutshell it said, that we are all spritual beings who want to experience and learn from human emotions. We come down to earth willingly. We need to experience and learn, hope, charity, love, humility, faith, selflessness. And things like that. During our life we are confronted with opportunities and lessons to learn these things. If we learn from our human experiences, we advance in our enlightenment. Until we reach total enlightenment and/or acceptance of human nature and our spirituality. then we return to the spirit world and we are content to remain there. If we don't take advantate of the opportunties we have here on earth to learn and become more enlightened, and then we die, we return to earth at the same level we left, only to repeat over and over again the same mistakes, until we learn. Personally, when I read this, and I thought about the mistakes I had made....it made it more important to LEARN because I DID NOT want to repeat any of them. So if you think life is not worth living, and you decide to end it. You will come back at the same level, until you learn to accept life and the opporunities that are here for you. Things do happen for a reason, sometimes the reasons become known to us and we learn, sometimes we refuse to see the lesson in a situation and we don't learn. Many times we make things worse. Why not pick up a copy of the book. Maybe you will find something in there that "speaks" to you. Like I did. And you will become more at peace with yourself. That is what happend to me. I love life and want to live to be 100, and I also feel it is my job to help people along their paths. help them to see that what they are doing it not working for them. Help themto understand that they cannot control or change other people. Only themselves. And by just accepting this....they learn so much.
I hope this helps, and I hope you find your path.
Michele
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hey...does anyone know where you can buy a Bamboo plant? try to name more than one place in case i don't live by the place that you say. Thanx in advance. Luv ya all! (link)
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I have one my mother got it for me. She got it at a florist shop. They have live plants too sometimes.
Michele
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I'm a 14 year old guy and im in love with my best friend. We've been friends for about 3 years now and ive liked her for around 2 and a half years now, I've gone out with her before, multiple times actually, and i can say without a doubt that im happiest with my life and myself when I was with her. But she left me because I am too romantic and I am not I suppose silly enough for her, she got her friend to break up with me when she was in a different state on a field trip, I've had my heart broken by her many times but I've never given up on my feelings for her. I do not know how I can deal with the pain i go through every day, sometimes i just want to die, I just can't get over her I've tried but I've never succeded and I now know i never will. She's just oblivious to my feelings and I just don't know what to do anymore. Could you help me? (link)
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You are both young. Anything can happen. You have many years for your love to grow for each other. She is young, she does not want to be in a committeed relationship. But if you love her as much as you say you do, and I believe you....then she may just come back when she is ready for a real relationship. I think when she compares you with other guys, she will realize that romance is better than being treated badly. But most girls don't realize that they love romance until they are 18 or so, and older. Right now she just wants to be the girlfriend of the "coolest" guy, not the most romantic. Romance may seem stifiling to her now. But in the future, it is what every woman wants.
SO if you are sure that this is the girl that you love. you will have to learn to be patient.
Michele
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When a coroner deems a death accidental and the insurance company disagrees with this, do I have a leg to stand on going up against them in a court of law? (link)
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What you would have to do, I think, I pay for another autopsy. A more thourough one. They are expensive, about $1,000. Also it may help if you can say what you think may have caused death, so they don't waste time. Also, I think you need to be next of kin, and I suppose you are or you wouldn't be asking. But I am curious, wouldn't it be better for the coroner to say accident......don't the insurance companies pay for an accidental death, and not pay in the case of a suicide?
Michele
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Hi, I have this problem...
I get angry really easily. I think it’s because I don’t really like people in general. When I’m around a person, I feel disgusted. I don’t really know what’s wrong with me, but getting angry over everything is causing problems for me. I almost attacked my gym teacher the other day and I’ve had random urges, just to hurt people. Is there a way I can keep myself from getting angry over everything? Hearing someone’s voice can sometimes set me off too. (link)
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I'd like to help you with this problem. It is a good thing that you recognize it. That is a good first step. If you care to hear my advice, I will need to to write to me about your childhood, and your family life. then I think I can shed some light on the issue. Leave a question in my inbox. I have a lot of experience and am much older and the mother of teenage boys. THey are both emotionally healthy.
Michele
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Hi, it's Lauren again I'm sorry to bother you but my mom won't be home for a few days and I really need some help. About an hour ago Sam showed up here. She was covered in blood and she could barely talk. I opened the door she said "I'm soo sorry for everything" and then she collapsed. I don't know what happened. I called my mom but I can't get in touch with her until tomorrow afternoon. Sam has a lot of bruises and she has track marks on her arms. I don't know what happened to her and she looks really sick and weak. I've been letting her sleep and I made sure that the blood isn't from her. She has a few cuts but majority of the blood is deffinately not from her. She's in really bad shape. I was thinking of calling the hospital but I don't know what happened and I don't want to get her into any trouble. She's had to deal with way to much in her life she doesn't need more stress right now. What do I do? How can I help her without getting her in trouble? And what do I do if she wakes up and I find out that she did something really horrible like she killed someone or something? Please help I really don't know what to do.
Thank you soo much
Lauren (link)
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Ok, Lauren, you wanted to help Sam, so now you are going to help her. If she did kill someone they probably deserved it. THe less you know the better. (really) You can make sure that she survives this ordeal. If she is sleeping that is good. But please check her pulse. Be sure that it is strong. If it is fluttering or weak, she may just need medical attention. But perhaps she just needs rest and to build up her strenght. If her pulse is strong, she is OK. You need to get some fluids into her. Keep her hydrated. Lack of fluids can cause all kinds of problems that only the emergency medical techs will be able to help her with. So keep her hydrated. CHeck her pupils. Do the dilate when light hits them. (get smaller) Or do they just stay large. It they do, then she has drugs in her sytem now. She has to sleep them off. When she has slept this off, feed her. Something light. Chicken broth, toast, stuff like that. By the time your mom comes home, she should be well enough to travel. GO on the web and find the nearest Covenant house to your location and bring her there. They can help. You cannot help her deal with her addiction and what her family and these other people have done to her. You can't even help her to deal with what she had done to herself. And if you want to have good memories of her, it is best that she not wear out her welcome at your place. She won't be able to resist seeking out more trouble, because that is her life. As it is right now. Getting the authorities involved will only send her right back to foster homes and then right back on the street. Or , if you guys can afford it, and she can stay with you and your mom is willing to become her legal guardian. Then you should hire an attorney and get her into rehab. But you are looking at legal and rehab expenses upwards to $8,000 to $10,000 dollars. Actually if she is a "foster child" she is a ward of the state, and if you get her into a local drug rehab center. It will be obvious that she is coming down from something and they will admit her, and the will bill the state for her care, but they won't keep her long and she'll end up back in foster care. Use that option if you think her life is in danger.
She WILL find the help she needs at covenant house. And some day she will come back and thank you. When she is better and grown and is living as normal a life as possible, then she can write a book about it. I have a friend who is writing a book about the foster care system in this country. It won't be pretty. I am sure she would like to interview Sam. Maybe some day she can help someone else in the same trouble. Pay it Forward!
Good Luck to you all. You will need it.
I will say a prayer for both of you.
Michele
Lauren, if she takes off again. Just know that you have done your best. Your a good girl and a good person. Go to college so you can make changes to the system when you are older. BEcome a lawyer and work for foster children. Protect them. Change the system, change the laws. No matter what happens. Sam is not responsbile for what has happened to her. Once she has been exposed to a normal life at the Covenant House, and has choices to make. If she makes the wrong ones, then it will be her fault.I hope it does not come to that. She has lived a whole life of pain in a few short years. It is very sad.
Michele
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I've been told it would help to go to my brother's grave. What's the point of this? I'm doing pretty good without having to realize he's inside the ground. My parents are going to make me go. What should I tell them?
Jacey (link)
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You're kidding! They said you have to go? I think that they don't think you are handling this well, but of course that is why you wrote to me. And you say you are doing OK. Why is it that they don't see that. Tell them for now that you are not AGAINST going, but that you will go in the near future. Maybe after a while, once THEY are doing better with it, they will stop bugging you. I don't know Jacey, you sound like a very sensible and pragmatic individual. And it may be your advanced intellect that you have that makes you accept things easier. Believe, you make a lot more sense to me than some of the kids that send me questions on this site, where they think it's the end of the world because their 14 year old b/f looked at another girl. Well I think you are going to be fine, but I don't know how we can get that message to your parents. You can try validating their feelings. Maybe if you let them know that YOU KNOW how devasted they are, then they will accept that you do understand the implications of this tragedy. Say something like....Oh mom, dad, I really miss Byron, but I can hardly imagine what it is like for you guys! It must be awful....you must be blaming yourselves. These are the kinds of statements that their adult friends may have said to them. They will recognize the statments as mature and sympathetic and that you have a handle on the situation. A complete understanding, I mean. If your parents think that "it just hasn't hit you yet because you are not suffering enough" this should allay their fears. Hopefully.
I am sorry for your troubles. I do hope that you all get through this. Again there is no RIGHT way to mourn. We each of us, have our own way. We own it. We can't immitate someone else's method of mourning. Good luck honey
Michele
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Last night my school played Tomball at our playoffs baseball game. There was so rivalry going on you wouldn't believe. Girls got slapped, people were told off, our field was trashed with Tomball banners which were not supposed to be there, brooms were taken, cars got rear-ended, and people were cut off. All of which got out drill team in trouble.
Well, at drill team practice today, our coach was furious. I mean crazy mad. She gave us a 2 hour lecture about how "ladies" are supposed to act; Cy-Falls drill team ladies.
Well, we play them again tonight to settle the score. Of course, all those same people are going to be there. We want to get them back for all the crap they did to our field because we play them on their field tonight. What can we go that will get them back but keep us out of trouble?
(link)
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Maybe this will happen. I am sure that their coach was furious with them also. And maybe they also got two hour speech. And MAYBE they have to apologize tonight. At the very least, they will be expecting you girls to retaliate, but the other columnists are right, you should be the "bigger and better" team and let it go. But if they are made to apologize, maybe you and your coach could insist that they make up for it, by having to clean up the mess, or something. Wait, what if the coaches, (who may very well have talked to each other on the phone today) make all of you apoligize to each other! Then what will you do? I think any punishment should involved the coaches so that there is adult supervision and things don't get out of hand again.
Michele
Well be sure and let us know, honey, how much it cost for your parents to bail you all out of jail.
Michele
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soz if this is a bit long, but really need help. I RATE HIGH!!
im 15 f and yesterday me and my dad went out and after we went to the pub. after about 1 and a half hours at the pub we decided 2 ring my mum to tell her how long we will be. she was fine with that. and then about 15 mins later we decided 2 ring her again and ask her what pizza she would like and if she would order it (we deceided earlier in the day that we wonted pizza 4 tea)n she said she'd already had her tea, so when we got home, she started shouting at my dad and saying things like 'i wish you came home earlier' and things like that. they both started arguing and got me and ma brother upset (hez 11) and now they are not talking, but my worry is that we are going on holiday this sat and i want them to be friends again! SOMEONE PLZE HELP.
(link)
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I don't blame your mom for being mad. It was very inconsiderate of your dad to do that. And most likely it is not the first time. Let them work it out.They are the ones that are married to each other. Don't grow up thinking this behavior is OK, or you'll end up behaving that way with your spouse, or accept that behavior from him.
Michele
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okay, so i was at zootopia last nite, and i think i did something wrong. i threw my bra at jesse mccarthey. and well i was drunk and he seemed pretty annoyed at what i did. like its not like i'm ever going to see him again but it was jsut do strnage because i was there with my boyfriend. and he wants to break up with me. (link)
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You're right, you did something wrong. All behavior has consequences. Bad behavior has bad consequences. Just because we see people acting like this on TV,and we even watch it with our eyes glued to the set, doesn't mean that we want to see this behavior in our friends. Especially those that we are intimate with. Would you like it if your boyfriend went after a cute girl and took her bra off? Or thew his underware at her? NO you'd be writing to us asking if you should break up with him. YOu can try apologizing, but it is totally up to your boyfriend what he wants to do now.
Michele
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mah friend has been sick lately and he has missed like 2 weeks...the other day he was in a wheelchair..he told me that people at skool have been talking about him and he wanted to kno who they where...they where saying stuff like hes gay or hes just faking it...even his friends said it...im like the only girl friend he has but now its like im the only friend he has..i dont kno wat to do to make him feel better?!??!! HELP!! (link)
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Well I doubt that your friend is faking it. Wheel chairs are very expensive, so if he's faking it his parents would have to be in on it too. Why not just ask him what his illness is. You can sympathise with him and maybe help if you know. At least you can be there for him. Tell him that you will not judge him, and that you just want to help.
Michele
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This lad at my school has been spreading rumours that my dad beats me we used to be best friend but i never told him that the only thing is that he did see my dad hit me once and its because i was being rude to him. but now everyone looks at me like im some freak ive talked to him and he just says im speaking the truth what should i do? (link)
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Just tell your friends exactly what you told us here. Your father hit you because you were being rude. I'll bet most of them have been hit for the same reason. It will certainly sound reasonable, and make sense, and then they'll forget about it. In any event, it will pass soon, as soon as they have someone else to talk about.
Michele
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I'm going to the beach in a week and I understand that when you shave your legs, it stings really bad once you get in the ocean. Does Nair sting? If so, are there any other alternatives? (link)
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It's not that bad. You'll survive. It's from the salt in the water and it only stings for a minute. I think the cold water will be worse than the stinging.
Michele
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My dad has a substance abuse problem. But he won't admit it. In fact, he lies about it and says he doesn't do anything! My dad uses chewing tobacco. That's not TOO bad, but he swallows it. And he goes through a can in a day and a half. If you're familiar, chewing tobacco (Copenhagen) is just as expensive as a pack of cigarettes. My family lives on a farm, we have farm animals, and we're not rich. We don't have the extra pocket money to buy things like tobacco. I've tried to get my dad to stop. Not only is it irritating that he lies and says he doesn't use tobacco, he's putting his health in danger. My family wouldn't be able to make it if he were to die – we'd have no source of income. I've tried talking to my dad, I've tried talking to my mom, I've tried throwing the junk away when I find it... I've written letters to my dad etc, etc. Last night, I found a BUNCH of his Copenhagen hidden in his boat. (No, I wasn't looking for it; I was taking care of the rabbits – which sit on the boat) I opened all the cans of tobacco and put duck, fish and rabbit food in the tobacco. This morning, all of the cans had been thrown away. I don't know what else to do! I can't keep searching for tobacco and putting duck food in it! He denies that he uses tobacco and my mom can't do anything about it. He's probably mad at me because I put duck food in his tobacco (I'm the only one who would do something like that) ... what do I do now? It really scares me that he's doing this. I don't want to lose my dad. (link)
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Hi honey,
I am really sorry about your problem, and it looks like you are the only one worried about it. Your family is in denial about it. And you are right, if something happens to your dad, what will happen to the rest of you? I do know from the experts that nicotine is the most addictive substance known to man. It is one of the hardest things to quit. many people who have, still crave it years later. So your dad is struggling, but that is no excuse. We humans DO have what it takes to do hard things. Try the tobacco company web sites. Phillip MOrris.com. they are supposed to be giving adivce, and have links on their site to other sites that may help you to help your dad. And try this web site http://tobacco.aadac.com/ they offer a video that shows a person dying from tobacco use. I can't believe he swallows the stuff. Find a medical site on the internet that you can submit questions to, and ask them what the symptoms are of people who ingest tobacco rather than smoke it, on a regular basis. I shudder to think. Pictures of people who have had mouth cancer, and throat cancer, which is much more common to tobacco chewers rather than smokers, are just awful. maybe you should show him some of those pictures. I am sorry that you have to be going thru this. Maybe you should also inquire as to whether your dad has life insurance, so that you can all stay together if something happens to him. And keep the farm. Although it will be a lot of work. It sounds like you like living on a farm and it sounds like you love your dad very much. Keep it up, even if he is annoyed, he knows you are doing it because you love him.
Michele
good luck to you.
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hello i hope you can help me i upset somebody some how i cant even remember how now .its a long story but every time i go out with my friends this person in particular is really nasty.im quite a quit person and i am not at all agressive and this situation is really getting me down .i want to say something back but this person is really nasty and i know there just looking for a fight i hope you can help me as iv got no one to turn to. (link)
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I think it may not be a good idea to try and top her in meaness. she seems to be better at it than you are It would be better to try and make her your friend again. The best way it to appeal to her ego. Pay her a compliment. The next time you are all together, wait for an opportunity to make her look smart. Something like if a question comes up, say "Why not ask "so and so" she would know what to do." She's good at that. Or Lets get "so and so to help, she'll know what to do. Compliment something she has on. Say something like, I wish I could wear low cut jeans like that, they just don't look good on me. You get the picture. It has to be something realistic that she will belive. It may not work the first time, but after a few times, she may warm up to you again and like you Believe me this works. When you upset her you probably hurt her ego, now you have to repair it.
I hope this works.
Michele
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My boyfriend asked me if i wanted to go to second, like fingering...and i said sure but im not sure where we should do it...btw im 13 (link)
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If you don't know where to do it, or if you have to hide to do it then you shouldn't be doing it. And most likely it is not going to stop there. Fingering is no 'Fun" for your boyfriend. He is going to want to have an orgasm. He will want more than fingering. If you go that far, he will not want to stop there. I don't think you are ready Please wait. You are too young, and you sound so innocent. Please you could end up going all the way, and have sexual intercourse, and then get pregnant. Please don't go there. Only you have everything to loose. Boys can't get pregnant. Please wait until you are older. You will be glad that you did.
Michele
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