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Substance Abuse Problem
My dad has a substance abuse problem. But he won't admit it. In fact, he lies about it and says he doesn't do anything! My dad uses chewing tobacco. That's not TOO bad, but he swallows it. And he goes through a can in a day and a half. If you're familiar, chewing tobacco (Copenhagen) is just as expensive as a pack of cigarettes. My family lives on a farm, we have farm animals, and we're not rich. We don't have the extra pocket money to buy things like tobacco. I've tried to get my dad to stop. Not only is it irritating that he lies and says he doesn't use tobacco, he's putting his health in danger. My family wouldn't be able to make it if he were to die – we'd have no source of income. I've tried talking to my dad, I've tried talking to my mom, I've tried throwing the junk away when I find it... I've written letters to my dad etc, etc. Last night, I found a BUNCH of his Copenhagen hidden in his boat. (No, I wasn't looking for it; I was taking care of the rabbits – which sit on the boat) I opened all the cans of tobacco and put duck, fish and rabbit food in the tobacco. This morning, all of the cans had been thrown away. I don't know what else to do! I can't keep searching for tobacco and putting duck food in it! He denies that he uses tobacco and my mom can't do anything about it. He's probably mad at me because I put duck food in his tobacco (I'm the only one who would do something like that) ... what do I do now? It really scares me that he's doing this. I don't want to lose my dad.
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Not to sound rude but is your dad stupid? He knows you found the tabacco and how can he deny that he doesnt do it. Your dad doesnt want to stop or change. Its just how he is. Ive tried getting my parents to stop smoking and they cant. You dad will be fine! He wont die anytime soon! You need to go up to your dad and show it to him *the tabacco* and tell him to ATLEAST try. You love him and you dont want to loose him. ♥
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You may not like your dad chewing tobacco but there isn't much you can do about it. You can tell him you don't like it but, unless he wants to quit chewing he won't. My advice is to mention your concerns once in awhile but don't obsess over it. I might also mention that by putting stuff in his tobacco you are only costing the family more money...he will just go buy more. :)
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Hi honey,
I am really sorry about your problem, and it looks like you are the only one worried about it. Your family is in denial about it. And you are right, if something happens to your dad, what will happen to the rest of you? I do know from the experts that nicotine is the most addictive substance known to man. It is one of the hardest things to quit. many people who have, still crave it years later. So your dad is struggling, but that is no excuse. We humans DO have what it takes to do hard things. Try the tobacco company web sites. Phillip MOrris.com. they are supposed to be giving adivce, and have links on their site to other sites that may help you to help your dad. And try this web site [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) they offer a video that shows a person dying from tobacco use. I can't believe he swallows the stuff. Find a medical site on the internet that you can submit questions to, and ask them what the symptoms are of people who ingest tobacco rather than smoke it, on a regular basis. I shudder to think. Pictures of people who have had mouth cancer, and throat cancer, which is much more common to tobacco chewers rather than smokers, are just awful. maybe you should show him some of those pictures. I am sorry that you have to be going thru this. Maybe you should also inquire as to whether your dad has life insurance, so that you can all stay together if something happens to him. And keep the farm. Although it will be a lot of work. It sounds like you like living on a farm and it sounds like you love your dad very much. Keep it up, even if he is annoyed, he knows you are doing it because you love him.
Michele
good luck to you.
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Your dad doesn't want to change . Like someone in my family doesn't want to. But you know some men are really stubborn and they don't really change their minds once they have them made up. So what you have to do is decide whether this is worth losing your dad over. I know that you really are worried and I see why. But it really all comes down to the fact that it's his life and whatever he chooses to do is of his own business. No matter how dramatic the effect is on your family. I'm not of course saying to be okay with what he's doing, I'm just trying to tell you to decide what's more important and what do you want that's best for you, your dad, and possibly your family. I hope I was some help and have a lovely day.
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