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I've been told it would help to go to my brother's grave. What's the point of this? I'm doing pretty good without having to realize he's inside the ground. My parents are going to make me go. What should I tell them?
Jacey
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You're kidding! They said you have to go? I think that they don't think you are handling this well, but of course that is why you wrote to me. And you say you are doing OK. Why is it that they don't see that. Tell them for now that you are not AGAINST going, but that you will go in the near future. Maybe after a while, once THEY are doing better with it, they will stop bugging you. I don't know Jacey, you sound like a very sensible and pragmatic individual. And it may be your advanced intellect that you have that makes you accept things easier. Believe, you make a lot more sense to me than some of the kids that send me questions on this site, where they think it's the end of the world because their 14 year old b/f looked at another girl. Well I think you are going to be fine, but I don't know how we can get that message to your parents. You can try validating their feelings. Maybe if you let them know that YOU KNOW how devasted they are, then they will accept that you do understand the implications of this tragedy. Say something like....Oh mom, dad, I really miss Byron, but I can hardly imagine what it is like for you guys! It must be awful....you must be blaming yourselves. These are the kinds of statements that their adult friends may have said to them. They will recognize the statments as mature and sympathetic and that you have a handle on the situation. A complete understanding, I mean. If your parents think that "it just hasn't hit you yet because you are not suffering enough" this should allay their fears. Hopefully.
I am sorry for your troubles. I do hope that you all get through this. Again there is no RIGHT way to mourn. We each of us, have our own way. We own it. We can't immitate someone else's method of mourning. Good luck honey
Michele
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