Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29579
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Hey everyone! I hope the past month has been nice to all of you :D
I have a problem with opening up to people. No matter who it is -- friends, who I'm supposed to be the most open with, and pretty much, just people in general. I don't know how to trust them enough to tell them my deepest darkest secrets. I want to be able to have a bunch of inside jokes with my friends. But how am I supposed to do that if I'm not even comfortable with talking to them about the things that bother me?
For example, yesterday in class, my teacher asked all of us what we wanted to do when we grew up. When she got to me, I said one of my other career paths that I really don't think I would have the patience to do, which is to be a vet. She asked me what were the other things that I would rather do other than that. I was about to say, "Ever since I was 8, I have wanted to be an actress." But when I tried to say it, I literally choked. Now, keep in mind I am not a shy person, at all, or am I ashamed of my plans in the future, but for some reason, when I try to speak my mind, I either forget what I was going to say (no joke) or I choke. I don't know if this is a reflex or just a deep down fear of sharing my thoughts, but it's not letting me speak my mind!
I don't know for how long this has been going on, but long enough to drive me insane!
My mom also wants me to open up to her to, and I'm not trying to point fingers here or anything, but I'm sure now that she's the reason why. It all just came to me
My mom and Dad got divorced last December and I was left ignored, frustrated and extremely, and I mean extremely, angry, emotional, and vulnerable, but most of all, ANGRY. I was angry for 3 reasons: My mom never cared enough to tell me what was going on, instead I had to watch them argue over the same thing over and over again. 2- She never kept her promises, and 3- now when I try to tell her why I don't want to talk to her, she takes every opportunity to yell and scream at me, saying that I don't respect her. To tell you the truth, I don't anymore. She ignores whatever it is I have to say, interrupts me, and then she yells at me for interrupting her to say that she interrupted me. Then, 12 seconds later, and yes, I counted she tells me that she wants me to be able to tell her things that she does to bother me. She's playing with my emotions and I just don't know how to control them anymore.
My friends asked me today, what I was thinking about. I told them I would tell them when I am ready. I think that that day might not ever come. I'm afraid that they will do the same as my mother. I have so much to say, and I feel like if I try to talk to people about it, they won't understand, care, or even listen to me.
If anyone out there can help me, please do. I know that keeping everything inside is not healthy or the best way to handle my feelings, but I feel like if I try to speak, I will be once again ignored.
Thanks in advance to everyone who has anything that they think will help me. I'll appreciate anything that comes my way. I hope you all have a perfect day :) (link)
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I haven't ignored you, in fact I've read it over and over. You seem to have weighed-up the situation for yourself already. Despite our attempts to hide them away, unresolved issues will keep coming back to trouble us until they force us to confront them and find solutions. Unresolved they quickly become an 'anger bomb' ticking away in the background and likely to explode at any moment without warning. Intuively, you've realised that hiding a bomb away isn't a great way of dealing with it. You will not rest easy until it's defused and safe. To defuse it you must be like a detective, returning in your mind to the 'scene of the crime' and gathering new evidence each time. Until you have enough information, knowledge & self-knowledge to defuse that bomb. Now tell me, isn't that what you are doing already? Remember your mother is almost certainly struggling with an anger-bomb of her own right now. Talk to her. Don't simply blame her. You might have more in common than you think. I feel you'll both be returning to the same 'crime scene'. I'll make a confession now, I've given you a dose of Carl Gustav Jung, a brilliant Swiss psychologist. You don't think I worked that 'anger-bomb' stuff out for myself do you!!! You're on the right path already. Some carry these bombs about and never even identify them, so well done there. You have a great day too, and many more of them.
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Hello my name is Tayla
I need advice on what to do I want to have sex with my boyfriend Josh but I am scared about how we will start and what it will feel like can someone help me or give me advice?'♡x (link)
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Hi Tayla. This one's hard to answer because it can feel very different for different people. Starting? I assume you've been quite intimate, he pleasures you with his hands and maybe then you make him 'come'? If you haven't you've DEFINITELY got to back-track a long way and forget full sex for a while yet. You'll get a lot of conflicting information. Some girls will say it was horrible and it hurt first time. Some will say it felt great. They're both telling the truth. I hope it doesn't sound a cop-out but I can't give you a check-list of exactly what will happen and how it will feel. It'll feel unique to you. But a few things might help. Most importantly, sit down and talk about precautions first. For you that means a nice NEW pack of condoms. Make sure he knows how to use them. The golden rule is that it goes on, properly, before ANY sort of penetration and that it stays on until it's all over. Fear of unwanted pregnancy will make you nervous and tense. However you're feeling mentally you want your body to be as relaxed as possible. You also need to be properly and fully aroused, so don't let him rush you. Be upfront and honest. Tell him it's your first time. No fairy-stories about having had loads of boyfriends before him! Tell him you'll need him to be as patient, gentle and respectful of your body as he can be. If he loves you he will be. However much of a gent he is, well...when he's getting close to climax he'll most likely be pushing pretty firmly and rapidly on you, and he'll press down even more firmly when he actually comes. So expect that, I mean he should be pretty excited about having sex with you when you think about it shouldn't he? There's the really scary one about losing your cherry and the bleeding thing. You might, if it's intact. You might, but so little you hardly notice. Or you might not bleed at all. But get the idea that a sight of blood means you're damaging or abusing your body right out of your head. You're not, I assure you. If the first attempt gets off to a really bad start, and you're getting yourself really stressed, abandon it and try again another day. It'll keep! That's where you'll need him to be patient & understanding. Actually, EVERY time you have sex with a guy you're giving him something really special. If he doesn't appreciate that and behave accordingly you should start looking for a boyfriend who does. I'm repeating myself, but if you know he loves and respects you and you're confident he'll stay around afterwards you'll be OK. Don't expect it to all be perfect first time. It's extremely unlikely. But if you ignore and/or forget everything else I've said, sort out the birth-control issue properly before you go any further. Bad sex isn't life-changing, an unplanned pregnancy most certainly IS. Best wishes Tayla. C J-B
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when imaturbate i never get orgasms please help me and also when i masturbate it fells good in a bad way am i bad for doing this (link)
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I don't know how this 'masturbation is bad & evil' idea stays alive in the modern day. NO you are not bad for doing it. Don't know you're age, but it simply isn't important. If you know what it is, what you're doing, what an orgasm is and enjoying it, you're ready. Having an orgasm (or 'coming') usually takes a bit of practice for women. So put down any guilty feelings, relax and try a few different things. The most effective areas are sort of 'outside-ish' if you know what I mean, so it's not usually a matter of how far you 'go in'. Try quality not quantity. Try less often, but longer. If you feel nicely relaxed and 'sleepy' afterwards it's probably about right. But don't keep at it until you make yourself sore down there! You might try a tube of proper lubricant from a chemist so you don't get sore, but avoid just any old scented hand cream or something, it might irritate. Enjoy any fantasies you have while you're doing it. Some people say the mind is the biggest 'sex organ' in the body, and they've got a point. I shouldn't generalise, but most women say they can come through masturbation even if they find it hard to 'let go' enough when they're with a guy. So it's more than likely you'll be enjoying an orgasm before long. You'll know when it 'comes' too! When you feel something promising is happening, that 'letting go' part is important. So you really want to make sure you've chosen a time and place where you're not likely to be suddenly disturbed. And no, not because you're doing something wrong or 'dirty', but it IS very private and personal. Enjoy yourself, it's for YOU. Don't get anxious or too eager about that orgasm, you can really enjoy masturbating without coming. Not like us blokes!! And feeling guilty or bad shouldn't even come into it. OK??
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Hi,
I recently have been talking to someone . I need advice on whether to keep him or dump him! He says "he likes me alot and wants to get to know me better." We hung out couple times . My question is does he really want to be more than friends or just playing games when he says " he was going to cock slap me ." I'm confused. . We hang out watch movies,go shopping ,talk he text me all day everyday buys me food and pays for gas. Is he really wanting relationship or just playing with me? (link)
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I should say if you've got a bloke who goes shopping with you, talks to you and spends cash on you the last thing you want to do is dump him. What part of 'likes you and wants to get to know you better' don't you understand??? I've got some distance and perspective. He sounds like he's being totally up-front and open, and putting out a few feelers in the sexual direction too of course. A lot of ladies would like to be in that position. If by 'playing games' you mean is he going to be the one you spend the rest of your life with or not, well no-one's going to be able to answer that in advance. But right now, unless there's something YOU don't really like about HIM....get your coat...you've pulled!
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Hi, iam Keerthi i really want to die because no one cares for me...my husband even my parents also doesn`t care for me... pls suggest me a way to die
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Hi Keerthi. Sorry, I've got no intention of writing a suicide instruction book for you. Firstly are you sure they do not care? What are you basing the belief on? Their words? Their actions? Parents do not abandon their children lightly, or for no good reason. Husbands? Not without a reason, although the reason may not be good in any sense other than 'good for them'. If there are definite causes, don't run away from them. Face them. Seek definite solutions. Talking may not solve them, but not talking DEFINITELY won't. Assuming the worst case, you're estranged beyond any hope of rescue. You need to re-invent yourself entirely. We all want to be loved, valued and wanted. But cards on the table, you don't NEED anyones approval, or love. You don't need permission from any other soul to live. The sun will still rise tomorrow, you'll carry on living. And there is hope. Not a delusion, or a superstition. Nature cannot and will not tolerate a vacuum. Something will fill the spaces even if you don't want it to. Prove it. Clear a few square yards of ground, back to bare soil. And just forget about it. It's ridiculous to believe it will stay like that isn't? Even if you don't tend it, sow nothing, plant nothing, SOMETHING WILL GROW. As with nature, the same with human nature. You can no more sustain constant misery than you can constant happiness. Having no religious conviction at all I can't say suicide is 'sinful'. Nor do I hold any belief that there is an unearthly paradise waiting for us after death. Or that there is any re-incarnation. But while we live there is CONSTANT CHANGE. Nothing and no-one who is alive is not subject to this constant change. Even the very earth is still a 'work-in-progress', still in a state of change. Death simply closes us personally to all further possibility of change. Hang in there. CJ-B
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Hey guys sO I had a question. Me and my boyfriend of 6 months do not make out because his spit is to thick and mucusy it's absolutely disgusting. And I can't do it. So how can we get to the point to have sex if I can't even do that? And I he very self conscience. Does anybody have any advice for me to build self confidence about my body and so that I can be good in bed. Thanks so much!! (link)
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Most people are self-conscious of at least one facet of their physique and the first time they have sex with a new partner it'll become a big issue for them. Or should I say BEFORE the first time. You'll become more confident each time, and the more confident you are the more sexy you'll feel & act, which will increase your confidence ...and so on. A not-so-good encounter or two can knock your confidence back a little. Guys have very fragile egos in this respect. Worse than you! If he makes some deliberately hurtful comment about your looks or performance you've really got start to wonder if you should be getting this intimate with him at all. Which brings us to the first bit. If there's something you're finding 'disgusting' (your word) about him, and it's holding you back from far less intimate acts than full sex, you are going to have to work hard to overcome this. And I mean REALLY hard! When you're considering sex with a new partner you really should be pretty crazy about each other. Pretty nervous, a few self-doubts and anxieties...fine and natural. But I'm not convinced 'disgusted' should come into the mix. You might want to stop and think about a few things now rather than later. Good luck whatever you choose.
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am in 20s .am handicapped ,all see me worse sympathy and teasing. ho is most pain ful way to die (link)
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Hiya. The 2012 Paralympics are going on right now, about 45 minutes away from where I live. I don't see much sympathy for these atheletes, just admiration mate! As for teasing. Well, it's a wide world and there's some real vermin out there. Treat them with the contempt they deserve. They're a minority. Small in number, even smaller in brain!Who knows what your life might achieve? Despite your handicap, or maybe even because of it? You've got to live it to find out, so no topping yourself, quick or painful.
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OK. I need help. Answer's. From someone that speaks and listens with there heart. For I have come to a point where I don't know who to trust anymore.
My name is Daniel. I am a 25 yr old male. And I feel ad though I have been cursed. I think. Things just are not right with me like they used to. I have been one to such for the meaning of life. The reson Why were here. Why we all spin on this little planet floating in this vast never ending space called the universe. I love music. And have always had a passion making it. I am a loving person and only want what's best for me and others I encounter in this world. I've been through a lot in my short time here. And do admit that my past has not been the greatest. I have struggled a lot with addictions and selfishness. But have come to terms with knowing my wrongs and trying to be a better person. Loving myself and others. And giving Thanks to our creater every day. But I don't know what I've done so bad in my life to deserve What I'm going through right now.
I have always questioned the Bible. I belive What it stands for, but always felt there was more to the story. Things have been hidden from us. I wanted to find answers, and asked God for help. I began looking into the hole Freemason, Illuminati, hidden Agenda thing and got curious, now KNOWING things were being hidden from us. I began digging deeper and came across the whole mind control stuff and began to get a little scared. Long story short the more I started to dig into these things the more I started getting spiritually curious as Well and looked into everything from the Gnostic, to the Vedas, to ancient occultism, and organized religion as Well. I was soon obsessed with trying to see What was the truth. I know it all leads to love. But what of our history? Our true reson that were here? Well, I'm still here asking the question. But feel I have not not any closer to the truth. Just more confused. Now to my problem. During this time of exploration, I began to start seeing 11:11 a lot. As time when on, it started to become 33. Like 3:33 11:33 on digital clocks. On recipts. Everywhere. Time when on and lo and behold one night I began to hear voices. Not very nice one's. I began to feel as though I have become insane. But soon started to see that these were not voices in my head but were coming out of anything electronic. Well come to realize while doing research that I have become a f'n T.I. (targeted individual) . Now I would see where most of you would roll your eyes here and say "OK this guy really is crazy" and That's OK, I've come to tearms with that. But if people were to really take the time to do some research on technology that we are and have been capable of making such as silent sound spectrum equipment and voice to skull devices. Such as artificial telepathy technology. Anywho. Thanks not my biggest problem. I couldn't give to sh*ts about those people. My problem is What happend when I let them get the best of me. It seemed my whole recerch into the hidden agendas maybe made me a target? I don't know, and it would take me a day to tell you all the things they can do to me, and how they make me suffer. But I feel there is something unseen Working with these people. And how it ties together.All these numbers I see. To many synchronicitys happening. To many weird dreams. I'm hoping this will reach at least one person that may be able to help if not answer my question. Why is this happening to me? I have more then excepted the lord CHRIST into my heart. All I want is noting more then love and happiness in my life. To bring it to others. Why these numbers? Why am I a target? Does anyone really know What these numbers mean? Any who. I guess all I really need right now is assurance that there still is love out there in this world. Because What ever is happening to me is stressful and hard to deal with.
Love and light. (link)
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"If you gaze too long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Friedrich Nietzsche I believe. You might have come across him in your searches, or possibly he might be too worldly and not spiritual enough? I reckon you've done the philosophical equivalent of reading too many medical self-diagnosis websites...and convinced yourself you've got every disease listed. Plus a few that aren't! You sound articulate & educated. Don't let an enquiring mind become 'acute paranoia'
chap. It'd be a waste.
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Photos of me: http://imgur.com/a/UtAqm
Obviously the second one is really bad quality but I took it with my iphone.
Today I went to Bealls and saw one of the girls from my old school (I graduated in June) there.
The whole time I was there I couldn't help but think she was so much prettier than me and I'm sick of just being "cute" or "normal" pretty.
She's the girl on the left: http://imgur.com/Rv1Pe
It's inspired me to make myself become more noticeably pretty. I'm deciding I've had enough with my bad habits like biting my fingernails. I'm stopping that once and for all tonight. I want long beautiful fingernails so I'm applying Sally Hansen's Maximum Growth nail polish.
I have sort of white teeth but they are a little yellowish so I picked up some maximum whitening flouride toothpaste and I plan on brushing them at least twice a day! I don't get acne but my skin without makeup is a little blotchy around my cheeks and the bottom of my chin, I also want gorgeous clear skin so I bought an $8 salycic acid maximum cleansing daily face wash and I'm going to start using it twice a day as well.
I'm about 4ft 10 in and 78 pounds so I am very skinny but I want to get rid of that "womens tummy pouch" thing. I've heard people say every woman has it but I know celebrities don't so tomorrow I think I'm going to start doing situps until it's gone.
I want to get tanner as well but I don't know how. I stay inside most of the time and we don't have a beach in my town and I don't have a yard since I live in an apartment. We have a balcony so maybe if I lay out there I can. I'm not going to use any of that fake chemically crap or go to a tanning booth though.
Other things I want to get rid of are:
Wearing sneakers, I think that's a big no-no because they aren't cute or classy they're just like lazy shoes. I really need to buy a pair of flats. Right now I have two pairs of boots (both high heels),two pairs of sneakers that I normally wear out,one pair of sandals and two pairs of heels (one stilletto) and obviously I'm not going to wear heels 24/7. I don't want back problems so I think my only choice is to get a cute pair of flats.
Pants: I AM SO SICK OF WEARING PANTS! I get so mad at myself every time I look in the mirror and my skinny jeans look faded or just bad. They are really starting to drive me crazy! I want to wear skirts and dresses but obviously I don't have a ton of money so I can't go and buy a whole new wardrobe so this one is going to take a lot of time and money to get right.
Makeup: I think I need to start buying more high priced makeup. I used to like my makeup but I hate how my mascara seems to dry out and flake or look kind of clumpy and how my foundation starts fading and looking powdery about 6 hours in. Or when I have to reapply lipstick every hour. I usually spend $7 on mascara,$7 on foundation and $5 on lipstick but it isn't working so I think I need to start saving up to buy the more expensive stuff like Urban Decay or YSL.
I'm also going to regularly dye my hair a reddish brown so it looks vibrant and not so dull like in the second photo.
Does anybody have any other ideas? I don't usually wear my makeup that bright as it is in the photos so that's not a problem. (link)
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Being a life-long lensman I just had to have a look at your pics. You're starting from a sound base, I'd say 'normal pretty' was a low estimate. I reckon you've got it covered. A few suggestions OK?
Always use make-up to focus attention on your best points, NEVER to try and disguise the ones you're less happy with. Try hard with the nails. Beautiful hands are a real asset. Talking of best points, you've got to really work those eyes, they're superb. Definitely use the best cosmetics you can run to. Approve of the cleansing too, leaving make-up only half-removed will kill your skin. As for the tan. Well, yeah they always look great. Real sun is unpredictable. Tanning booths...you're a good judge avoiding them. I'd say spray tan's the lesser evil by far. Bit chemically I know. Best you can afford's gotta be the advice, and go easy. ('Orange' girls look well naff anyway!) I'd tend to think STAY toned rather than punish your body too much. It looks a pretty good shape now. Finally, don't want to offend if it doesn't apply. And I'm not being a 'puritan'...all I can say is tattoos are looking seriously 'yesterday'. Model agency girls without are getting the best gigs. Same for the corny old mega boob-jobs. Nuff said? Clothes, well of course, the big label stuff is exquisite. But maybe older women benefit more from 'cut' to flatter their figures. You'll look great in 'high-street' labels for a good few years yet. All you need to do is pick styles that suit you. Only exception is shoes. I'm sure you'll want one pair of 'killer-heels' but avoid the cheapies. They'll do horrible things to your feet! Honest, I could sit typing all day...better go. Great to chat to a girl who wants to look good. A lot of them look like they get dressed in the dark!
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I have an unreadable micro sd card which had personal details like passport and pan card scanned copies. Now before giving it back to store for replacement under warranty, I want to make sure that the data is not readable by the service guys using any recovery software. How to do it without any physical damage?
Will micro wave or soaking in water work? (link)
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Slight paradox. There's plenty of software that can erase all data, by writing to every address with a zero several times. But if the card is completely unreadable, it's also unreachable by the software. If it's partly unreadable try some recovery and erasure software yourself. If not there's a few things in your favour. 1. They won't be able to recover the data either. 2. Given the value of the claim they almost certainly wouldn't dispute it and try to prove it was serviceable. This can be a big worry, data theft is real. I know what I'd do. If it had contained sensitive data, I'd rather lose the cash than a wink of sleep. I'd physically destroy the thing and buy another. No idea if microwaves, UV, mag fields etc would work. I've got a camera CF card soaked without damaging it at all though, so probably water's no good.
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Hey everyone!
I have been noticing something here on this website, and it's annoying me at an excessive level. How can people be like this?
I just saw a question about how there's a 24 year old woman who wanted to be with a 21 year old man, and the answers are all like "oh your age gap is not a problem"
But when there's a question about a 14 year old girl wanting to be with a 17 year old, the answers say "he's too old for you." -.- Really? It's the same thing! The age gap is the same size, yet people make such a big deal of it when the people are younger. >:(
Why does it have to be this way? Is there a specific reason why people don't think that an age difference matters at an older age, but when it happens with teenagers, people disapprove right away?
Can anyone PLEASE explain to me why? It just doesn't make sense to me. This angers me in ways I can't even understand.
Thank you to everyone who answers in advance, really. (link)
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That is a tough one. They say youngsters 'grow-up' too quickly in the present age. Yet not so many years ago in my country (UK) the school leaving age was 14. A girl or a guy would be expected to take their place in an adult world, do an adult job and accept responsibilty for their actions at that age. So do people really grow-up quicker? Like the lonely soul says, ages of consent protect the vulnerable. And yes, bottom-line it's about society. Saying you should all be a little girls at 14? Well, as in most areas of life there is no such thing as 'the general case.' All cases are 'particular' in one way or another. At 14 you could be very immature, or you could have a remarkable level of maturity. I'm talking intellectual maturity, not physical. Physical maturity, with respect to boyfriends as that was your subject, is determined by about a million years of genetic programming, it's called 'puberty'. But any law that said as soon as a girl reached puberty she would have no legal right to refuse sex would be a wrong and dangerous law. So there's no black & white answer. If you like the company of slightly older guys, you're free to choose you own friends. But do keep in mind they may have 'other agenda' as it were. Don't get pressured, and keep your self-respect & dignity. Listen to your conscience, if it's telling you a thing is not appropriate it probably isn't. The thing about a 'society' is that we all have to live in it sooner or later. And it's easier to live in than outside. It does voice an anonymous approval, or dissaproval. Why are age gaps more acceptable in later life? Probably beacuse time 'levels the playing field'. By 18 you will have developed an independence of thought. A character. Though not necesssarily a creditable one! It doesn't follow that at that magical age you'll make no more mistakes, make no more bad judgements. Neither are you incapable of rational decision at your age. Could we say then, it's an attempt at a 'catch-all' solution? I tend to think so. I don't know if any of this helps, but maybe it's put a little perspective on the matter?
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-sometimes I catch him checking me out, even when I'm sitting down. I've seen him stare at my feet (with nail polish and strappy wedge heels), my legs (when I wore a mini dress), and even my friend said she once caught him looking me over when I wasn't paying attention
-when our eyes meet he tends to raise his eyebrows or just one and smile like he's surprised or being devious or something. sometimes it seems involuntary, too
-teases me frequently, over silly things. but it's hard for me to get mad at him cause he also compliments/defends me in cute ways, too. like some other guy said that my accent sometimes makes things sound funny (I'm in the midwest and I've lived in multiple places around the world), but in a good way, and then I was like "thanks..?" and then both that guy and the guy i'm originally talking about said it was a good thing and that I sound soothing, and would make a good narrator. I think that he likes that I appear innocent (it's funny cause my mind is not very innocent at all) even though he also teases me about it, like when I miss something he says sarcastically
-respects the fact that I don't do weed, even though he does. when he was high he said that he wishes he could be in my position, and sort of seemed protective with what he said. and him and his friend (same one from earlier) have never pressured me or anything into what they do
-lets me in his personal space. i've only known him for about a week, but the past few days (when I started crushing on him) I've sat pretty close to him a couple times, and our legs would touch in a way, but he doesn't try to get out of the way
-we both have eye contact easily
-we have a lot of the same geeky interests
-he greets me right when I come in a room (even when others don't) and tends to use my name (well, nickname) when talking to me in conversation
-if it makes any difference, he's a scorpio and i'm a capricorn
on the other side, that same friend who saw him checking me out said she thinks he's a bit of a flirt, which kinda worries me. like I hang out with mostly guy friends and then there are 3 girls (me, that girl, and another), and how am I supposed to know who he likes the most? I told my girl friends that I liked this guy, so should I just go by their judgment?
and also, this really weird situation happened. me, him, and 2 other people were sitting in a car and eating, and he was talking to his guy friend in the front about how he was excited to come home this weekend (labour day weekend. we're college freshmen) and go to this family function where there will be this girl (from the way he was talking, I'm guessing she's attractive?) and it was ok because she wasn't a blood relative. I was with that same girl friend from earlier in the back and I was confused.. and then right after the guy said that he looked back to see my reaction and I masked it but it definitely irked me. What was this? Was he trying to say that he knew that I liked him, and was trying to show that he didn't like me back, by letting me down that way? Or was he just trying to make me jealous? Cause him and that guy in the front seemed like they we're in on some kind of joke.. but idk. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
and am I over reading things, and could all those actions mean he's crushing on me, too, is just a horny teenager, or just wants to be friends? do guys ever want to just be friends with girls? In all honesty, I'm good looking, and have been told so, and am dressy casual everyday, even though most girls here just dress casual. I just feel more confident in myself when I dress nice. And I just wear mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick/gloss. I think I need an outside opinion, please be totally honest (link)
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What a lot of information....I feel like I know you!
Honest opinion? Yeah, he's a flirt, and it's YOU he's flirting with. I reckon you've done enough analysis. Dress your best, and go get him! I don't think you'll have to try too hard. I can't say you didn't give me all the facts. Got a tip though. If he asks how you knew he fancied you, give him a shortened version, or you might come across a tiny little bit obsessive-sounding!! Just joking... have a great time....
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If i'm drawing out some letters to use for a sign, what's the best method to get them on the computer?
I know to scan it, but if i'm working in illustrator with a script like text, should i simply use the "lettering option" in the live trace thing and just go with it, or am i supposed to go over it with the pen tool? (link)
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Hi. If you like what you've got on paper, drop a greyscale scan into your Illustrator doc, turn down the transparency, pop a new layer over it and get busy with the pen & smoothing tools. Like any graphic your tracing. You'll get a beautifully crisp & sharp vector path. Don't you find live trace can sometimes be pretty good, but a lot of the time you get something a bit 'quick & dirty'? I do. Of course, you might want 'edgy' for this project...? But Pen tool is king, eh? You're the boss! If you've got some spare time and you do a lot of script text stuff, maybe download a free or trial font creator and turn your best ones into a full blown font? Many a designer makes a few pennies from custom fonts. Good luck chap (or chap-ess?)
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Alexa/13
I was talking with my best friend about my boyfriend and told her that I had sex with him and that the condom broke. She then said I was becoming a slut and that she was gonna ask my mom to get me help. I was so upset and dont kno why she would say that she made me cry. Why would she say that? It really hurt my feelings and now she wont talk to me. (link)
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Hi Alexa. I'll be honest. At your age it isn't that unusual to be enjoying a fair bit of sexual 'horseplay' like handjobs etc, I don't have to more precise I'm sure. But mostly girls don't start full sex for a while yet. So you're probably setting yourself a bit apart from friends of your own age. A sort of 'alienation'. And yeah, I'd be surprised if they were not highly curious themselves, and more than a little envious of you. So expect the odd sharp comment, some criticism. Try to patch things up with your mate. Try not to come across all 'Hey, I'm having sex...don't you wish you were?' Get my drift? And don't rule out the possibility that your friend is genuinely pretty shocked at such an 'in your face' confession from you. Try and keep her close, good friends of your own sex are important and will always be. So, whatever anyone says, you've chosen to have a full relationship with your boyfriend. OK, at a pretty young age. But I'll tell you somrthing, you're DEFINITELY too young to be using terms like 'slut' about each other, so cut that out for a start!
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I have no guys in my life when all my other friends and most girls my age do. I've never had a boyfriend and have never done anything sexual besides drunk kissing at parties if that even counts( no, I'm not gay!). I'm a bit overweight but not too much and not ugly, I'm told sometimes that I'm pretty and get compliments every so often. I usually attribute my issues with this to my looks, thinking I'm not pretty enough for guys to notice me. This may be part of the problem but I'm sure it has to do with shyness and low self-esteem too. I have a hard time coming out of my shell and I'm a very cautious, careful person. As much as I try I can't change this about me. and I don't think that wearing slutty outfits would make so much of a difference. I know that confidence is most attractive, blah, blah, blah. But I have a good personality, I'm kind, intelligent, witty, and talented and have a good amount of friends. That combined with being somewhat pretty should get me SOME male attention, right? Why is it that I get NONE at all besides the occasional guy grinding up on me at the club? All of my friends have flings and relationships .Why can't this be me? I'm in my third year of college and literally haven't experienced anything yet. How is my confidence supposed be high in this regard if no one shows interest in me? (link)
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Hi. You sound pretty savvy to all the self-esteem & confidence issues already & hardly need advice on those. Dare I suggest you might have identified already, and then dismissed your 'secret weapon'? I've been involved for many years in the photographic/imaging industry. What are womens magazines (paper & web) full of? Stories. It's accepted that women respond to ideas, the intellectual stimulus. How about mens lifesyle publications? It's taken that men respond mainly to visual stimulus. No surprise then, they're full of pictures of women. Do womens publications commission many male-model photo sets? No. Waste of money. A virtually guaranteed way for a clever woman to attract male attention is to DRESS SEXY. Your sparkle and wit can kick-in when you've got them under your spell. I think you've confused sexy with slutty. An ugly word that descibes an attitude and behaviour, not an outfit. There's NO SUCH THING as 'slutty clothes'. Now get out there and knock 'em dead!!
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Katy
Me and my bf have been going out for a while, Im 14 and hes 17. At the beginning of our relationship it was just kissing and hugging, but now hes starting to ask me for sex and I feel like im just not ready and hes not getting it.Sometimes when we're kissing hell put his hands down my pants and start fingering me. I always tell him no but he just keeps doing it. And earlier today I was in his bedroom and we were kissing he starts rubbing my boob and I let him but then he put his hand down my panties and starts fingering me I tell him stop but he wouldnt listen so I pushed him off me and left. I just dont understand why he keeps doing this and why he keeps asking me when every time I say no. I just want to go back to just kissing and hugging, how do I tell him to stop ,and show him that I mean it. Please help me. (link)
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Got to add...this is TOTALLY unacceptable behaviour. You'll know your legal rights now you've read the other answers. Tough one is, you don't want him carted-off by the police do you? You want him the way he was. A nice affectionate kiss & cuddle & stuff. I don't want to say it, but that's not gonna happen. If he'd got a bit over excited once and you'd told him it was too much and he'd respected your wishes, fine. Give the guy a second chance. But that's not the story. Cut your losses & ditch him. You'll find nicer guys. They'll be just as affectionate, difference is it'll be when YOU want it. Promise.
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Hi,Im Jazz a 14year old female,who has alot of different problems in her life.
First off every since I was about 7 or 8 my parents would argue alot.They would try to go into another room so we couldnt hear but we always did.I would always go to my room and cry because I hate arguing.It got so bad they werre planning to leave eachother.They would ask me and my older brother who we want to have custody of us,which would just start another arguement and me crying again.
Then maybe a few months later I went to school one day,and the teacher told me my bff died.Then a few months after that my grandad who I loved very much died.I would cry at the thought of him.
The arguing got worst.They hated eachother.And one day I went to my dad and he was crying.That really broke me.
But thats not even the worst part of everything.A year after the arguing everything was going great.The arguing stopped and I guess they loved eachother again.
But when I was twelve everything changed for the worst.I had started self injurying myself anyway I could.I would stab myself burn myself and other things.But the worst part was the cutting.I would cut almost everday.Why?
Because I was stressed out or depressed as people say I am.So cutting helped alot.It started off with one cut and me saying I wont do it again but I did.And it quickly became my addiction.I did it almost everday.
Then I stopped eating about five months ago.I havent lost alot of weight if you ask me.
Now comes the part where on top of all of my problems my mom expects meto be perfect.If I dont get on the honor roll Im not trying my hardest.If one grade slips Im on punishment.If my rooms not squeky clean Im on punishment.If I dont wanna be a nurse Im wasting my life.
Just because I love rock,heavymetal,death metal,screamo and music like that Im demonic.
And to top it off I planned how to kill myself tons of times but never did.
Do I have rpoblems?Should I get help? (link)
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You sound pretty mixed-up. OK. Demanding parents who expect a lot, well. Not that uncommon. They maybe push too hard, but doting parents who spoil you, tell you you're great even when you're not doing that great? That won't set you up for the world outside home & family. So give & take. Death of loved ones & family. That's gonna hurt all your life. You won't get used to that so it doesn't touch you. And you shouldn't. Parents marriage going through a rough patch for a while? Well, a year to an adult couple isn't as long as a year sounds to you right now. I can't explain how or why that is. But it's true. You'll find the same, and you won't 'get it' either! It is just a patch to them. Sometimes differences can't be worked-out and couples split. But you're not causing this. Be patient a while longer. Music? I loved Led Zeppelin in my teens, but I didn't grow a pair of horns! Now. The self-harming and eating stuff and the suicidal thoughts. That's gotta stop Jazz. NOW! Do your parents know, or have you hidden it well? Sit down, speak to them. Don't have a tantrum like a silly little girl. Show them you're growing up. If you don't get anywhere you've got to find a doctor. He can arrange any treatment or counselling necessary. You're sensible enough to recognise addiction. Every time I have a smoke I say It's the last...but I haven't quit yet! Sort it out Jazz!!!
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Are there any good image design programs that are free? Good for designing things like simple album covers? (link)
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Good news is design is all about your imagination & most of the time a thing called 'scalable vector graphics'. Most working designers could do what they do on very old versions (V8 on) of Adobe Illustrator. It's not about latest versions. For a freeware download you could try Inkscape 0.45. It supports shapes, paths, text, markers, clones, alpha blending, transforms, gradients, patterns and grouping. If you aren't sure what they mean...you soon will be! If you're using 'bitmap' images in your designs the quality of your photos & scans are the key factor, not the software. Good luck...enjoy it.(And yes...I work in digital imaging!) It's a shame but Adobe never offer their old software for cheap or free download.
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Hey guys. I'm jordan, I'm 16, I'm female, and I don't feel..
My life has been a little more than rough and I slip in and out of depression on a regular basis..
When I was only 4 or 5 my parents split... My father was mentally, physically, and verbally abusive to both me,my sister, and my mother. He also cheated on my mother pretty much every other day with a different girl and my mom stuck it up, just so her kids could have a father in their life. It was all fake and pitiful.
When I was 6 my mom got a new boyfriend named John. John was more than a father to my family than my actual father ever was, and we all loved him very much. Although, when I was around 10 I noticed that John started to change. John was addicted to percription pain killers... The first time he was arrested the police came to my house when I was home alone with him and I answered the door and watched them take him away. As much as I was screaming and crying and begging the police not to take him away, they took him anyway.. Long story short, John has been in and out of prison ever since and I never see him, I believe he's back in now.
But that's only the beginning. When I was in preschool I had a best friend. We thought alike, looked alike, but we were completely different people. I was ... Me.. A crazy dressed, guitar player punk, and she was a preppy, rich, well dressed, normal girl...
Like most friends,we fought, allllot. But would always make up no more than a week later.
Around 2nd grade we met two more girls that we added to our two man clique, we all got along and we're good friends up until 7th grade.
7th grade... Has hands down still been the worst year of my life and I think that's when I lost it.... All those feelings I had... All those feelings that i knew were there at one time.. Allhose feelings that I'll never get back..
In 7th grade my best friend stopped talking to me. She spent her time with the other two girls and I was always the one they never invited to stay, or to the movies. since my family was a wreck and my mom was in great depression, my friends were all I had... Then.. Before my eyes they were gone.. Just like that.
I ended up feeling lonely a lot... I felt as if I was unwanted everywhere I was. I never spoke. I went 2 whole years without saying a word... I severely cut myself everyday, but no one ever knew that. After I started cutting is when I realized it was the only thing that made me feel human. And after a few years of that it didn't work anymore.. And that really scared me.. Cutting was my friend.. And it left me. Just like everything else...
Now Im 16 and I feel....nothing... When I laugh I feel forced. Like Im pushing it out With tons of effort. And I don't feel sad anymore. Or lonely. Some nights I just feel like I should cry.. Maybe thats what i need, a good cry. But when I try to All that happens is my eyes water... It doesn't feel like crying.... Right now writing this... I'm not even sure why I'm doing this... I guess I just want to know if I'm the only one who feels this way? Because everything seems pointless.... I hate to sound like I'm craving attention, but ending my life sounds like the right thing to do at this point... By the time you read this ill probably be gone... So you guys .. Stay strong.. Stronger than me... I'm sure it gets better. I just don't think it will for me. But you hang in there....
Stay strong you guys.
-Jordan . (link)
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I do not believing suffering makes us better people, or the 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' line of thought. True, cause-and-effect is an un-arguable law of nature but that is a world away from the idea that 'everything happens for a reason.' That our lives are following a pre-destined path laid out for us. By whom? So no homespun platitudes from me. Does this sound gloomy? Hope not. Because there are no curses, you are not cursed. Because there is no destiny you are neither destined to be happy or sad, succeed or fail. You cannot influence events external to yourself. No human can or ever will. But how you react to them is, and will always be YOUR CHOICE. You have the one gift of all humans. The gift of free will. Your life is yours to make or spoil, as you choose. Our lives are, at any point, the sum of every event we've experienced, every choice we've made. And next week, next year, whenever this will also be true. So start making good choices now. Suicide is no real solution. I don't know if you subscribe to any faith or religion. It doesn't sound like it. I do not. For me death is simply the ultimate negation, the end of all further possibilities. Sure, it's an end of anxiety, an end to that horrible alienation you're feeling. So what's life anyway? Just a sequence of random events to a man of no spirituality, or religious conviction like me. But aren't you curious about those random possibilities, just a little bit? I am. Don't you want to stick around, just to see what happens? I hope you do Jordan.
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So my boyfriend and i had a heated moment and he slipped his hand down my panties and fingered me. I returned him the favour by giving him a hand job. Since we were both so heated, both of us ejaculated and I had some semen on my fingers. I didn't wash my hands and later I fingered myself because I am curious and i was testing what makes me feel good. We don't want kids yet but my period hasn't come yet and it's been a few days. Is there a possibility that I'm pregnant because I didn't wash my hands? (link)
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The key here is that you fingered yourslef 'later'. Do you mean 15 to 20 minutes later, or immediately after he'd come? To be honest unles you actually inserted a finger still wet and sticky with warm semen all over it, there isn't any chance. Even if you hadn't washed your hands the sperm will have all 'dried and died'. It can't live unless it's in liquid semen. I promise you, the little critters can't lurk about under your finger nails or something and pop inside when you finger yourself, so relax. You must be late for some other reason if that was your only encounter.
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