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having sex with my boyfriend
Hello my name is Tayla
I need advice on what to do I want to have sex with my boyfriend Josh but I am scared about how we will start and what it will feel like can someone help me or give me advice?'♡x
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Hi Tayla. This one's hard to answer because it can feel very different for different people. Starting? I assume you've been quite intimate, he pleasures you with his hands and maybe then you make him 'come'? If you haven't you've DEFINITELY got to back-track a long way and forget full sex for a while yet. You'll get a lot of conflicting information. Some girls will say it was horrible and it hurt first time. Some will say it felt great. They're both telling the truth. I hope it doesn't sound a cop-out but I can't give you a check-list of exactly what will happen and how it will feel. It'll feel unique to you. But a few things might help. Most importantly, sit down and talk about precautions first. For you that means a nice NEW pack of condoms. Make sure he knows how to use them. The golden rule is that it goes on, properly, before ANY sort of penetration and that it stays on until it's all over. Fear of unwanted pregnancy will make you nervous and tense. However you're feeling mentally you want your body to be as relaxed as possible. You also need to be properly and fully aroused, so don't let him rush you. Be upfront and honest. Tell him it's your first time. No fairy-stories about having had loads of boyfriends before him! Tell him you'll need him to be as patient, gentle and respectful of your body as he can be. If he loves you he will be. However much of a gent he is, well...when he's getting close to climax he'll most likely be pushing pretty firmly and rapidly on you, and he'll press down even more firmly when he actually comes. So expect that, I mean he should be pretty excited about having sex with you when you think about it shouldn't he? There's the really scary one about losing your cherry and the bleeding thing. You might, if it's intact. You might, but so little you hardly notice. Or you might not bleed at all. But get the idea that a sight of blood means you're damaging or abusing your body right out of your head. You're not, I assure you. If the first attempt gets off to a really bad start, and you're getting yourself really stressed, abandon it and try again another day. It'll keep! That's where you'll need him to be patient & understanding. Actually, EVERY time you have sex with a guy you're giving him something really special. If he doesn't appreciate that and behave accordingly you should start looking for a boyfriend who does. I'm repeating myself, but if you know he loves and respects you and you're confident he'll stay around afterwards you'll be OK. Don't expect it to all be perfect first time. It's extremely unlikely. But if you ignore and/or forget everything else I've said, sort out the birth-control issue properly before you go any further. Bad sex isn't life-changing, an unplanned pregnancy most certainly IS. Best wishes Tayla. C J-B
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