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My boyfriend is pressuring me into sex
Katy
Me and my bf have been going out for a while, Im 14 and hes 17. At the beginning of our relationship it was just kissing and hugging, but now hes starting to ask me for sex and I feel like im just not ready and hes not getting it.Sometimes when we're kissing hell put his hands down my pants and start fingering me. I always tell him no but he just keeps doing it. And earlier today I was in his bedroom and we were kissing he starts rubbing my boob and I let him but then he put his hand down my panties and starts fingering me I tell him stop but he wouldnt listen so I pushed him off me and left. I just dont understand why he keeps doing this and why he keeps asking me when every time I say no. I just want to go back to just kissing and hugging, how do I tell him to stop ,and show him that I mean it. Please help me.
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Got to add...this is TOTALLY unacceptable behaviour. You'll know your legal rights now you've read the other answers. Tough one is, you don't want him carted-off by the police do you? You want him the way he was. A nice affectionate kiss & cuddle & stuff. I don't want to say it, but that's not gonna happen. If he'd got a bit over excited once and you'd told him it was too much and he'd respected your wishes, fine. Give the guy a second chance. But that's not the story. Cut your losses & ditch him. You'll find nicer guys. They'll be just as affectionate, difference is it'll be when YOU want it. Promise.
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ANYTIME YOU SAY NO OR STOP IN A SEXUAL SITUATION AND YOUR PARTNER CONTINUES. IT IS NOT PRACTUCALLY RAPE, IT IS RAPE.
No and stop mean just that, no and stop. When he continues doing whatever it is he is open to the charges of sexual harassment and rape. The fact that you are 14 and he is 17 can compound this even more depending on the law in your state.
You are most definitely a minor, meaning you cannot in anyway shape or form consent to any type of sex as you are under the age of consent. Your BF is 17 and could be consider and adult. IF so another charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and being a pedophile could be added to the list of charges against him.
This is generally the problem when girls your age date boys 2 to 3 years older than themselves. These boys are more sexually mature than you are. In general they date girls your age for they believe they can more easily get sex from someone your age than someone their own age.
There are three ways to handle this situation. The first is to just stop seeing him he is to old for you and continued dating him can only lead to trouble for you if not outright rape.
The second way is to tell your dad this boy is all hands and no matter what you say he continues to touch you in places you don't want to be touched. That he won't take no and stop for an answer. If your dad is anything like me he will take care of this and you won't have any more problems and you won't see him any more.
The third way is just to call the police and press charges. They are real charges and carry real penalties. Since you are 14 your parents would have to file the charges with you.
Whatever you decide to do, just walk away or have your dad talk to him. These charges have a 5 year or more statue of limitation. So if he were to harass you or bully you in school you have a minimum of 5 years to bring charges against him. It would be in his best interest to go quietly and not bother you in the future or harass you in anyway; or he could face real prison time and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
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What he's doing is not just rude and inconsiderate, its illegal. If he's doing something sexual to you that you don't want him to do and he knows you don't want him to, and if he keeps doing it, that's called sexual harassment. Its practically rape. You DO NOT need to be with this guy, things could get way out of hand. I understand that its nice to have a boyfriend and you may really like him. But what if he goes further than fingering? What if he tries to rape you? Do not give him that chance, talk to an adult; maybe a school counselor. Tell them your dilemma and they'll give you advice on how to let him off easy. Whether you think he is capable of this or not doesn't matter, he's already doing sexual things to you without your permission. Its better to be safe than sorry anyway. Please, for your own safety, dump him and find a man that respects your boundaries, and therefore, respects you.
Good luck, and I am very sorry you're dealing with this. I hope I helped.
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