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Love life, or lack thereof
I have no guys in my life when all my other friends and most girls my age do. I've never had a boyfriend and have never done anything sexual besides drunk kissing at parties if that even counts( no, I'm not gay!). I'm a bit overweight but not too much and not ugly, I'm told sometimes that I'm pretty and get compliments every so often. I usually attribute my issues with this to my looks, thinking I'm not pretty enough for guys to notice me. This may be part of the problem but I'm sure it has to do with shyness and low self-esteem too. I have a hard time coming out of my shell and I'm a very cautious, careful person. As much as I try I can't change this about me. and I don't think that wearing slutty outfits would make so much of a difference. I know that confidence is most attractive, blah, blah, blah. But I have a good personality, I'm kind, intelligent, witty, and talented and have a good amount of friends. That combined with being somewhat pretty should get me SOME male attention, right? Why is it that I get NONE at all besides the occasional guy grinding up on me at the club? All of my friends have flings and relationships .Why can't this be me? I'm in my third year of college and literally haven't experienced anything yet. How is my confidence supposed be high in this regard if no one shows interest in me?
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Hi. You sound pretty savvy to all the self-esteem & confidence issues already & hardly need advice on those. Dare I suggest you might have identified already, and then dismissed your 'secret weapon'? I've been involved for many years in the photographic/imaging industry. What are womens magazines (paper & web) full of? Stories. It's accepted that women respond to ideas, the intellectual stimulus. How about mens lifesyle publications? It's taken that men respond mainly to visual stimulus. No surprise then, they're full of pictures of women. Do womens publications commission many male-model photo sets? No. Waste of money. A virtually guaranteed way for a clever woman to attract male attention is to DRESS SEXY. Your sparkle and wit can kick-in when you've got them under your spell. I think you've confused sexy with slutty. An ugly word that descibes an attitude and behaviour, not an outfit. There's NO SUCH THING as 'slutty clothes'. Now get out there and knock 'em dead!!
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Hey, I really know where your coming from! It took me 18 years before a guy even asked me out and almost 20 years for me to find my first boyfriend. I'm sure you are very pretty, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in college guys usually aren't interested in a relationship, they want to get laid as often as possible, and if you don't agree with one-night stands then stand by it!
I found after the first few guys paid attention to me, more started to follow, I can only guess that the first few boosted my confidence, so think of everyone that HAS paid attention to you, they thought you were pretty and worthy of their time after all.
Boosting your confidence is a good start, but don't rely on others to boost it for you, think of who you are, you're smart, pretty, funny, and you have a collection of friends who clearly see that in you :)
Stand tall and wait for the right guy who will make you realise just how special you are.
Goodluck
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