Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30860
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My boyfriend had several partners before me, I had only one, I feel so intimidated and unconfident.I have even had someone come up to me and told me I looked like his ex, which made me feel even more like a replacement, or a just another disposable girl. He cried for her after he dumped her, then claimed that he was about to break up with her.
Is there a way to build my confidence and accept his past that is the complete opposite of mine. (link)
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Every person, male and female, is going to have a past. Ultimately, you are you and the ex isn't you. All you can do is be rational, realize that you have to trust yourself and not allow an outside entity (a departed ex of your boyfriend's) to be a stumbling block. Just be the best, most loving person you can because that is all you can do. Overthinking it beyond that isn't very constructive.
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im 16 years old girl. me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year and 2 months. we used to be the best boyfriend ever! but here lately, it feels like things are changing. hes just been so rude to me. when he asks were i am, hes like were the fu*k are you and stuff. i love him so much and dont want to end it. i just dont know if being with him is worth it anymore. i dont know what to do if i should just end it or not (link)
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You're only 16 years old. You don't need the grief. If he's being an asshole to you (and an earlier commenter is right, maybe there are external factors that are causing him to be irritable) then tell him to hit the road. There are tons of other guys who will want to be with you. Plus you are not going to marry this guy.
Date around, explore life and don't get so tied down so early. Your brain will keep developing until you are about 25, so your feelings on everything are going to evolve a lot over that span. Keep your options open and focus on finishing high school and then college rather than high school relationships that ultimately won't amount to much in the grand scheme of things.
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I like this boy, but he said he doesn't like me, how do I get him to like me?
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One of life's lessons is that not everyone is going to like you. Every person has a different sensibility from that of other people. It's like the example that if God came down to earth tomorrow and gave a speech, there would be tens of millions of people who would think, "what a wanker," because not everyone thinks the same way.
The good thing is that, inevitably, is there will be lots of people who will like you and your time is thus better spent with folks like that. You can't force someone to be your friend or lover. So relax and don't sulk over that which you cannot control.
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im 18/f hes 19/m :)
so me and my best friend like each other (yes haha i have posted earlier on today! haha) the thing is, for the last 5 months that we've been insanely close for we haven't done anything sexual with each other at all, we did kiss once but he doesn't remember it cause we were both ridiculously drunk haha. We have sent pictures before, and sexted but thats about it. so tonight things started getting a bit heated between us, we were sexting pretty much and he was telling me how much he wants to have sex with me. and how he really is looking forward to the prospect of having sex with me when he comes back from tour.
the thing is, he didnt even want to kiss me a couple of weeks back because he doesnt want to move to quickly with me, that im special and he really doesnt want to ruin things. He even told one of our mutual friends how insanely beautiful i am, that he feels something extremely real between us and he doesnt want anything to move to fast so it doesnt get ruined. but tonight he confessed that he does really want me sexually too. and how we should get together when he comes home.
i do want to have sex with him, but in my head i imagined it being when we were official or something, if we ever dated. Im still a virgin, and i DO want to lose my virginity to him, hes my best friend and i trust him alot. I also confessed that i want him in that way too. and i agreed that maybe we should heat things up a bit...but what i dont understand...is why hes suddenly rushing to wanting to have sex with me? what happened to his fear of ruining things with me so much so that he was the one saying we should take things slow? (link)
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Don't overthink this.
He is the victim of bad programming by the usual suspects (religion, etc) that somehow sex is dirty and cheapens a relationship, which, of course, is wrongheaded. He may also be worried that if he isn't totally on performancewise when he takes your virginity you will fall out of love with him.
Relax, and when you get together just allow things to happen organically. Don't force it. Tell him to take it slow with some extended oral sex on you and then, during penetration, relax (try to just make your body limp so that his penis will be easier to accept and the pain won't be as severe). Maybe even use some lube.
Just remember that men are simple when it comes to male-female interactions. So don't think that he has the same feelings a girl has over stuff like this.
Btw, it would also be a good idea for him to masturbate an hour before he sees you. That will help him last longer in bed with you and it will help him unload some inner tension.
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My girlfriend and I have known each other for 6 years been dating for 2 years. She loves to dress and look good she is very beautiful and has an awesome body. No matter what she wears she has guys always trying to flirt with her or start dumb conversations. But when she's just going to the mall or to the grocery store the flea market she may wear tight jeans and high heels that makes it irresistible for most men to not look at or come and try to make contact with her. Well my point is it drives me crazy especially when she dresses like that and goes without me, and I've expressed my feelings about it to her. It's nothing slutty she wears it’s just the attention it brings to her and I feel she's looking for the attention sometimes by dressing that way! She is 40 years old and gets attention from guys 16 to 100! I've walked to other parts of a store and returned to guys walking behind her staring at her butt or trying or talk to her. I guess my question is. Am I just jealous and have nothing to worry about or is she looking for the attention, or am I wrong about both? (link)
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Boy, you're insecure, aren't you? You also don't trust her. Otherwise her hotness and how other men react to it wouldn't be an issue. If you feel you can't trust her then punt and find someone else. But if you can trust her then relax. Insecure men aren't attractive to women and your showing it will only drive her away.
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Theres this girl in my class... who has... the most... perfect ass. Like it is literally a work of art. And to all of you guys, im telling you, ITS A M A Z I N G. Like no joke. I wanna go up to this girl and ask if i can grab it, or if she can sit on my face. Should i ask her or no? (link)
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Troll.
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My girlfriend is addicted to vicaden and three weeks ago, I found out from my bank statement that she stole almost $900 dollars from my ATM card. I confronted her and she told me she wasn't going to tell me if i never found out. She is feeling guilty and very sorry. She has secret texts, phone calls and acts strange when I ask her what she did for the day. She is always yelling at me and picking fights, when she is wrong and I bring it up. I have always felt that she is hiding somthing but I could never figure it out. I try to meet her needs as much as I can, but I am a graduate student and I do the best I can but she is unsastified. I found out this week that she stole 65 dollars from me and told me she forget to bring it up and when I asked about it on Friday, she wanted to break up, the second time she wanted to break up over me giving her money or she taking it without my permission. I feel like I am her golden ticket and she is just hanging on for herself. She has kids and I get along with them. Our sex life is unsatisfactory and she always complain when she intiates it and i go for it. I feel that she loves me and I love her too, but I am confused on what to do. I tried working things out but its like she is always picking fights and acting like a "clutz", her way of calling the stolen money, the lies and disrespect. She says her mom put gas in the car when she used my car to do so. The trust is not there and everytime I am at work, I wonder what she be doing. Any help or advice would be helpful. I am 24 male and my girl is 30 female. (link)
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Dude, kick her to the curb. Stop being a pussy for this bitch who is pretty much just using you. She has mental issues that only a psychologist or psychiatrist can address. By staying with her you look pathetically needy. Your friends are talking about you behind your back because of it, believe me. Hit the eject button on her right now or suffer more misery.
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I have already pretty much decided which classes I'm going to take next year (I'll be a junior), but I just can't get over that guilty feeling of not deciding to take Spanish 2 next year. I'm currently taking Spanish 1, but I've decided not to next year. Instead, I've decided to take psychology one semester, and sociology the other semester. The thing is, I'm not sure whether or not it would be the best choice. I know that have 2 years of a foreign language is recommended, and is also good for colleges and for getting jobs. It's just something I don't want to do that. It just makes me mad thinking that I HAVE to do this or that to please colleges and stuff. I want to do whatever I am interested in, but I can't even speak my own language, so I can't help to think that Spanish would be good for me. If I don't take Spanish 2, I also think about things like what if I'm not offered very many opportunities, even with good grades and everything? What are your guys' opinions? (link)
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Actually, learning a foreign language is good for not only your mental development (your brain will keep developing until you are about 25, so you're in a great period by which to learn other tongues), but it will further your understanding of the world since inherent in every language is a world view undergirded by cultural assumptions.
However, you are just in high school, so do what you want. I was a C student in high school (partied most of the time through it) then got serious in college and graduated with honors while also learning to speak and read Japanese in addition to my regular major. Learning that language has opened a lot of doors for me.
In college, you absolutely will need to learn a foreign language. If not Spanish, you will need Chinese because the business world is globalized now and companies expect more foreign language training, especially in tongues where the money is. I also recommend that you live overseas for a couple of years after graduating university. It's a great learning experience and looks cool on a resume.
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Well, I should start by saying I'm an 18 white British girl who grew up in a very middle class background.
Anyway, I have never had a boyfriend before and have been seeing this guy for about 5 months, I only see him on weekends because he lives in the rougher city area and I am in the country side (I should also point out in England countryside is 95% white while inner cities are more 40-50%). He's from the Caribbean originally and came to England a few years ago, so obviously, he is black. He loves me and his family love me too but my family is against whites and blacks being together, my Nana said people see a slut when they see me now.
Is it honestly so bad to see white and black people together? (link)
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You can't worry about what others think of your relationship as long as you're happy with it. It is your life and you can't let other people tell you how to live it. And the less crosstalk/outside noise you allow to be brought into a relationship the more stable and happy it will be.
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I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4years, im happy and we love each other, the only problem is, my dad doesnt like him. He gets along with my mum & she absolutely loves him! At the start when we first started dating my dad seem to like him until he started judging him on little things. Because he is 3 years older than me, (im 20) he doesnt have a house or nice car or isnt like a man he wishes my boyfriend to be, it really upsets me. My dad never really says anything positive about him until 1 day we almost broke up & I was really upset, he seemed to care then about our relationship? & he went back to normal again... My boy is good to me, he buys me everything, treats me right, knows how to have fun & he may not have the best job in the world but his always willing to work hard. My dad always judges him and he doesnt realise my bf looks up to him becuase he respects him. Its makes me sad becuase it always feels awkward when they are both together (even though they are friendly towrds each other) and knowing the fact that my dad secretly hates him, well I dont know for sure, but its not something I can never ask my dad the truth. I have feeling its becuase he doesnt want me to waste my time (i can do better) and wants me to have a good future and my bf isnt the right one... & he always remindes my sister to find a bf that has a trade or 'good job'(referring to me)??? I have no idea.. please help!
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Sometimes personalities just don't match and there may be a conflict in that way with your boyfriend. Nothing you can do about it, it is what it is.
Otherwise, as long as your boyfriend isn't abusing you, then dad needs to butt the hell out. Don't be concerned with trying to make everybody play nice. Keep things simple and love your boyfriend for who he is and the life you have together and love your parents for what they mean to you. The two don't necessarily have to interact.
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A few years ago I got married blah blah yeah. Well let me get straight to the point. In the mothers name area of the marriage license/certificate thing, I put the wrong name of my mother. It is not her real name that I put down (by accident) and I was wondering if it would still be valid. I'm not to worried about having to get remarried to this male as we are no longer together, but it is something I would like to know this way I can figure it out and see what all needs to be done with divorce or possible name change. The state that we married in was Iowa state. (link)
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This goes under the heading, "clerical error." Don't sweat it. If you have any doubts still, see a family law attorney.
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ok, so i wanna know if this guy likes me (i like him too) here is how we "flirt"
~we put our hands on each others thighs and we dont mind
~we always hug like were going out (he comes up from behind me and hugs my waist)
~i told my friends (he was also there) that if you make a little heart with another person (with your fingers) and it comes out cute, then your meant to be! then, he did it with me and everyone said it was cute!
~Tons of people asked us if we were dating.
~he ALWAYS insists on sitting next to me
~ i had to go somewhere and he was leaving so i grabbed his arm so he could stay with me and he laced our fingers together and we held hands for like 2 min and it wasnt ackward or anything!
So yea, hope you guys can answer this ASAP! lol thnx(: (link)
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Yep, he likes you but is still somehow hesitant about REALLY going for it. The next time you see him, kiss him. That should move things along nicely.
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I have never asked for advice before but this is really upseting my entire world. I will try to make this clear. Also, I will try to keep it anonymous by not including the actual wedding date and will use *'s before the made up names to disguise the real people. OK~here goes. I am 33 yrs old and the mother of one extraordinary son! In the month of May, 2011 (nothing like waiting till the last min I know and I apologize) my cousin is getting married, the guest list stops at second cousins due to large families. On our side of the family she(bride-to-be) only has 3 second cousins. Our cousin *AA's 2 children--(*AA1 & *AA2) and then me, *BB ,also her cousin and I have 1 son(*BB1) who is her second cousin. Now, according to the rules no second cousins are invited. However, *AA1 is in the wedding and *AA2 is her Godchild so both of them will be attending. This creates a situation where not only is my son the only child on our side of the family not invited but it just so happens then that he is also the ONLY FAMILY MEMBER on our side not invited. So essentially when our sides family picture is taken~my son would be the only one absent (if I would attend). To make feelings worse-nobody in my family seems to think this is wrong or hurtfull. In fact they have said many times(not to my face) that I should not take this personally. How can I not? I am really hurt! Even more so because not one person bothered to mention all of this to me-not even the bride-to-be. I only found out the second cousin rule by accident because I asked my aunt about a meal selection for my son or if he should just share with me! We all get along and there are no hard feelings or background incidents that need to be mentioned. In fact~we all celebrated Easter together and I was very warm and talkative to my cousin and her fiance hoping that one would explain more to me or at least address it but not one word was mentioned and I couldn't bring myself to ask. How do you suggest is the best way to handle this? Thank you so much! Miserable in MN (link)
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A cousin is a distant relative to my way of thinking. Does your son actually want to go or are you projecting on him what you want him to feel?
Personally, I find wedding ceremonies and the like to be a waste of a perfectly fine day, especially if they involved distant relatives. And even more especially in an age when most marriages don't last very long. You may be getting upset over something that may not be there. You think they are invalidating your son (and, by extension, you, the person who have birth to him) when that isn't the intention at all.
You also have the option to pass on the ceremony if you feel your family is being slighted. Talk to your son and see how he feels about this. I bet he doesn't really care.
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I am an anarexic i do tell people but they dont do anything. I told my best friend and she acted as if it was nothing. But its not nothing! When my stomach growels i see that as a good thing. But that isnt the problem i need somebody to tell me how to tell my mom. She is already strugglin as a single parent with 9 kids and 2 that droped out of school. And i dont wqnt to cause anymore trouble. So please somebody contact me and give some help i am only 12 years old. Please somebody! (link)
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I'm not sure anyone here is really equipped to help you. You really need to get counseling. See your school counselor and hopefully he/she can get you back on track since your family probably afford a therapist.
But let me say this as a man: personally, the most attractive women to me are those who have big hips and full bodies. Hugging a woman with a soft body is just the best. When you become anorexic, girls tend to lose some of the most attractive parts of women, their butt, their hips and their boobs. Moreover, guys like women who appear healthy, which anorexic girls do not. You're going to get a lot more positive attention being at the medically ideal weight for your height or maybe even a few pounds over.
Whatever you decide, though, good luck. I hope you can get the help you need.
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Hi, well i've liked this boy since p7 and i'm in 2nd year now. so thats 4 years, but its not been really bad. but he is so funny and hillarious, but hes into them type of girls who are just like him really sarcastic and funny. But im scared to say anything rude or anything, becuase im a christian and hes athiest. Hes so amazing, and hes so lovely. Plus he always makes me have a smile on my face. Should i try asking him out? or should i just wait till we get closer and him ask me? thank you. (link)
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I'm an atheist and have had friends and girlfriends who were Christian. The religious issue shouldn't be that big a deal unless you wear your beliefs on your sleeve. Many people are putatively religious but non-observant. Catholic women in the U.S., for example, largely ignore the Vatican's edicts on birth control and continue to use it.
If the Christianity is really important to you then this will be a source of conflict between you. You have to look at this rationally and realize what you may be getting into. I'm sure there are Christian guys who are every bit as funny as the atheist you like. You can just wait until college, when you will have an opportunity to meet a wider array of men. So you don't really need to put all of your eggs in one basket, so to speak. Relax and decide just what it is you want and then go for it.
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I'm a straight A student and I got a 72.5 on a science quiz! I've ruined my grade completely!
I also am on the lacrosse team but I have never played before and there are other girls on the team who have been playing since age 4. Help!!!! (link)
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How you cope with failure will determine how you navigate through life. Even very successful people fail on occasion. In fact, some of them were lifelong screwups before becoming bigtime players. They became successes because they were persistent and kept their eyes open for opportunities.
So relax. Nobody is going to be good at every sport they try. Sports actually doesn't matter a whole hell of a lot in life. It is more important to focus on doing well in the classroom. All you can do is the best you can and pay attention to what you can learn from your failures and use that as a springboard for further improvement. Try to sever the emotion from it and look at things rationally.
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I'm in a confusing situation, i'm 25 and basically i've been with my current boyfriend for 5 years and we have a mortgage together but things haven't been going great for me recently, my feelings have started to change and i dont see the same future that i used too. I always thought he would be the guy i wanted to marry and have children with but now thats not what i want. I'm too scared to walk away in case its just a rough patch and i would also lose everything that ive worked hard for like my beautiful house, also i'd lose the majority of our friends. To make it even more confusing is the fact that a guy that i've always had chemistry with is back on the scene, he makes me feel amazing and special and i get butterflies whenever i think of him but is it real or is it just cos things aren't good at home! I'm so confused about what to do... (link)
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The problem is that you made too many big decisions too early. The changes in your thinking are normal as the brain continues to mature until about age 25. This doesn't make you a bad person, just an evolving adult.
At this point, if you really aren't feeling the relationship then get out. At your age you shouldn't have been pinned down into one relationship anyway and should have done more exploring of life. If you don't walk away the regrets will only increase. Put off marriage and kids until at least 30 and do a little more wandering around in life and see where it leads you.
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I love my bf,but i got to mad in front of him.what can i do?SOS!! =( (link)
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Yeah, you should never, ever make a scene in public when you are with your guy. Men hate that and it makes you look like a crazy bitch. As you can imagine, he probably lost a lot of respect for you.
The main thing you want to do is be adult about this. Get together with him and then sit down and explain calmly what your grievance is. Don't expect him to read your mind. Guys are dumb when it comes to how women think. Be able to explain in precise terms what is going on in your head without putting a guilt trip on your boyfriend. Tell him that you need to have these discussions on occasion in order to feel a deeper connection in the relationship in order to ensure that he really understands you.
The other thing you have to realize is that guys want to feel in control. They have a need to feel dominant. When they hear the words, "we need to talk," the first reaction many guys have is, "she is trying to be the dominant one in the relationship" and that makes you a pain in the ass. So find a way to get what you want while not infringing on his feelings as a man.
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So ive had a lot of the signs of pregnancy(headaches, nausea, fatigue, bloating, constipation, light headed/dizzy, cravings,slight cramps,gas etc) and my last 3 periods have been just heavy spotting for 3days and either early or late. I didnt really notice i could be pregnant until last week and since ive taken 3tests, all negative. Id be about 16weeks if i am. I was suppose to get my period friday and got a single light spot of dark almost brown blood(sorry if tmi) thursday and today but thats it. i dont have any cramps like i usually would. What should i do? btw, im 17 and has had my period since i was 10 so its pretty regular. i had sex jan 19th. and my last regular period was jan 5th. (link)
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Go to Planned Parenthood if you don't want to bring your family doctor into this. But you really need to see a physician just to be sure.
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There is this boy in my class I love I mean oh my god his cute body,and his cute face I love him but what to do? FYI:Im 11!! SOS!! :'( (link)
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Relax. You will come across lots of cute guys in your life. At your age, this isn't that big a deal. Just be nice to him and see where it leads. If nothing happens, don't worry about that either. You have a lot of years to live yet.
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