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Boyfriend's Past
My boyfriend had several partners before me, I had only one, I feel so intimidated and unconfident.I have even had someone come up to me and told me I looked like his ex, which made me feel even more like a replacement, or a just another disposable girl. He cried for her after he dumped her, then claimed that he was about to break up with her.
Is there a way to build my confidence and accept his past that is the complete opposite of mine.
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Every person, male and female, is going to have a past. Ultimately, you are you and the ex isn't you. All you can do is be rational, realize that you have to trust yourself and not allow an outside entity (a departed ex of your boyfriend's) to be a stumbling block. Just be the best, most loving person you can because that is all you can do. Overthinking it beyond that isn't very constructive.
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Hey, The first thing is everybody has a history and it is very difficult to find people who haven't ever had partners before, so don't let that part upset you too greatly, also these partners he did have may not have been too serious so unless you have any reason to worry (such as he has been accused of 'using' all his girlfriends previously)it would be best to try and forget about them, after all, they are the past and you're the present.
As for feeling like a replacement, the example of "looking like his ex" is usually common, people tend to go for the same look, so all it really means is he thinks you are attractive =], of course the best way to know if your the "replacement" from this girl is probably to think of these questions:
Was she the girlfriend directly before you? if she was then I understand how you could feel threatened by these statements, just look at the other questions
were they together for a long time? (6 months or more)? a long relationship is more likely to have an effect, short relationships generally didn't work and are easy to move on from, all though, even if it was a long-term relationship, it could have just run stale.
How long after the break up until he began dating again? If he waited a few months at least then the chances of being the rebound are pretty much non-existent, it would have given him time to move on and see you for you and not for the things you and his ex have in common.
The best thing to do, is ignore what other people say and as long as he does not mention these ex girlfriends in every conversation you two have then just enjoy being with him, if you are happy then leave it be :)
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Hello!
Firstly, don't feel like a replacement or disposable. You shouldn't ever feel that way. I'm assuming he doesn't put you down or anything, causing you to feel this way, so just remember that he's with you because he's interested in the person you are.
My concern is how long you two have been dating and whether or not the relationship is stable enough for you two to take it to the next level. Don't let yourself get pressured by him... Take things slowly and I'm sure along the way you'll start feeling confident enough. To be honest, guys are more interested in feeling up and doing than deed, as opposed to your special moves... If push comes to shove, just go with the flow and do what feels nice! Do your research, that might make you feel better. Find out how to do this, where to do that... It might give you some confidence in the fact that you're more knowledgeable! I hope you feel better, and good luck :)
-Uniq
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