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Is she looking for attention or am i jealous?
My girlfriend and I have known each other for 6 years been dating for 2 years. She loves to dress and look good she is very beautiful and has an awesome body. No matter what she wears she has guys always trying to flirt with her or start dumb conversations. But when she's just going to the mall or to the grocery store the flea market she may wear tight jeans and high heels that makes it irresistible for most men to not look at or come and try to make contact with her. Well my point is it drives me crazy especially when she dresses like that and goes without me, and I've expressed my feelings about it to her. It's nothing slutty she wears it’s just the attention it brings to her and I feel she's looking for the attention sometimes by dressing that way! She is 40 years old and gets attention from guys 16 to 100! I've walked to other parts of a store and returned to guys walking behind her staring at her butt or trying or talk to her. I guess my question is. Am I just jealous and have nothing to worry about or is she looking for the attention, or am I wrong about both?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Boy, you're insecure, aren't you? You also don't trust her. Otherwise her hotness and how other men react to it wouldn't be an issue. If you feel you can't trust her then punt and find someone else. But if you can trust her then relax. Insecure men aren't attractive to women and your showing it will only drive her away.
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Fantastic answer Rahzie, I would just like to add one thing.
Many men pick a woman for who they are and they love this, the way they look, the way they act and how confident they are and once they are settled into a relationship the very things that attracted them in the first place start to worry them because they know that others are attracted to them too.
Just remember SHE picked YOU, not some other guy who was attracted to her and if she has so far been loyal to you, they you are doing her a disservice to think that she may cheat in the future.
If she changes for you because she realises that you now don't like the way she is, she will become unhappy and she will no longer be the woman you fell in love with.
Treasure what you have and instead walk tall and remember she's YOUR girl, you should be proud that others fancy her, she walks past them but she chose you.
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She is presenting herself as a beautiful woman because that is how she wants to be perceived. She is not ‘doing it for the attention’ like a child throwing a temper tantrum. She is a grown woman choosing how she would like to exist in the world. You may not like her choice, but she is entitled to it.
You are being jealous and unreasonable to assume that because she is choosing to present herself in this way she is being, or will be, a cheater.
She is entitled to dress this way for any reason she chooses (including, ‘doing it for the attention). It does not mean she is going to cheat or is desperate for male sexual attention - those things might be true, but you give no reason to suspect they are. You say you don't feel she is being slutty or overt, or approaching these people or encouraging these people - merely that she is beautiful, and allows that to show. After two years together, frankly you should already have a pretty good idea if she is loyal and committed, or if she strays and fools around! Even if she IS a flirt or has been disloyal, she is still allowed to choose how she presents herself to the world.
If you are not comfortable with her choices, then she is a bad romantic match for you. That's it. End of story. If this makes you too uncomfortable, then it’s not a good relationship for you. You are entitled to your feelings, but your feelings don't get to create laws she must live by. Your feelings create laws that YOU must live by. If your feel is that this is not okay, then it is up to you to leave the relationship, not to attempt to control what she wears.
Your correct course of action, if she is disloyal or a bad match for you, is to end the relationship, not complain about her wardrobe or seek inappropraite degrees of control over her choices.
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As a girl, I can tell you that I'd flat out dump any guy who told me what to wear. No woman wants to go around not looking cute all the time when she's not with her guy- that's a total confidence killer. What matters is how she's responding to the attention- is she brushing the guys off or flirting back? If she's just ignoring it, then you will have to just learn to deal with it- it's what comes with dating a very attractive person.
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