|
What to do when your girlfriend picks fights all the time, steals from you and acts secret?
My girlfriend is addicted to vicaden and three weeks ago, I found out from my bank statement that she stole almost $900 dollars from my ATM card. I confronted her and she told me she wasn't going to tell me if i never found out. She is feeling guilty and very sorry. She has secret texts, phone calls and acts strange when I ask her what she did for the day. She is always yelling at me and picking fights, when she is wrong and I bring it up. I have always felt that she is hiding somthing but I could never figure it out. I try to meet her needs as much as I can, but I am a graduate student and I do the best I can but she is unsastified. I found out this week that she stole 65 dollars from me and told me she forget to bring it up and when I asked about it on Friday, she wanted to break up, the second time she wanted to break up over me giving her money or she taking it without my permission. I feel like I am her golden ticket and she is just hanging on for herself. She has kids and I get along with them. Our sex life is unsatisfactory and she always complain when she intiates it and i go for it. I feel that she loves me and I love her too, but I am confused on what to do. I tried working things out but its like she is always picking fights and acting like a "clutz", her way of calling the stolen money, the lies and disrespect. She says her mom put gas in the car when she used my car to do so. The trust is not there and everytime I am at work, I wonder what she be doing. Any help or advice would be helpful. I am 24 male and my girl is 30 female.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I am in the same boat but i have lost a lot more money i have slowly lost over 16000 dollars in less than 8 months, my gf did this too me when ever i went out with my mates the next day she would secretly take money out of my bank card and i would think that i was taking too much out and i wish i had checked more often.... when i found out i was so mad i could have killed her she made out as if someone had black mailed or some bs, so i told her parents and she is slowly paying it all back with a new job now, if i went to the police they prob wouldnt do much and she wouldnt be able to work to pay it back as of record jail time... This has been put down as a life learn lesson and to check the bank account properly keep your receipts, also get her to sign and write out it has been done for proof
]
Dude, kick her to the curb. Stop being a pussy for this bitch who is pretty much just using you. She has mental issues that only a psychologist or psychiatrist can address. By staying with her you look pathetically needy. Your friends are talking about you behind your back because of it, believe me. Hit the eject button on her right now or suffer more misery.
]
You haven't mentioned one good thing about the relationship other than that you love each other and you have a good rapport with her kids.
You need to work out whether those things alone are worth the lying, stealing and craziness from your girlfriend.
As far as I'm concerned, this woman needs help to deal with her demons, something she may not be able to do while she is in a relationship. Consider a trial separation, where you both agree to start dealing with your problems separately before deciding whether or not you want to continue with the relationship. Unless your girlfriend gets help, I highly doubt this relationship will last.
Additionally, consider this: if a stranger stole $965 dollars from you then you would call the police. Are you really willing to accept that from someone you are in a relationship with?
]
There is no relationship without trust and, from what you describe, you are being treated with zero trust or respect. The best course of action almost certainly is to get out.
That being said, you could also try an ultimatum. She gets help or you walk... but in all honesty I do not believe that will work.
If you do decide to try to work it out, you have to act firmly, clearly drawing a line and setting some standards for the way you will allow people to treat you. And dont let her drag you into any argument that tangents outside the core issue of trust and respect. Stay calm and stick to your guns.
However, as I said before, I am nearly 100% certain that the best advice is what Matt said below.
]
Break up with her. Make sure she no longer has access to any account of yours.
]
More Questions: |