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Inter-racial issue
Well, I should start by saying I'm an 18 white British girl who grew up in a very middle class background.
Anyway, I have never had a boyfriend before and have been seeing this guy for about 5 months, I only see him on weekends because he lives in the rougher city area and I am in the country side (I should also point out in England countryside is 95% white while inner cities are more 40-50%). He's from the Caribbean originally and came to England a few years ago, so obviously, he is black. He loves me and his family love me too but my family is against whites and blacks being together, my Nana said people see a slut when they see me now.
Is it honestly so bad to see white and black people together?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You can't worry about what others think of your relationship as long as you're happy with it. It is your life and you can't let other people tell you how to live it. And the less crosstalk/outside noise you allow to be brought into a relationship the more stable and happy it will be.
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Absoloutely not! There is nothing wrong with two people from two different cultures, or races being together. As long as you love that person, or have strong feelings towards each other, thats all that matters. However, I know there are a lot of people like your family that are against inter reacial couples. It usually has to do with up bringing and cultural beliefs. You should talk to your family about this, explain that you deeply care for this man and you really wished they would support your decision. they may not like it but they should at least be able to deal with the fact that you guys are together. Hopefully they can understand this. Also, what your grandmother said is not true, seeing someone of another race does not make you a slut. Anyway, you are 18 and legally old enough to make decisions on matter like these. Hope if all works out for you. Inbox me if you have any other questions. Good Luck!!!
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you can't help who you fall in love with it just happens and personally I don't see anythhing wrong with it but of course my boyfriend and my stepdad is black and my niece and nephew are mixed so I was raised on my mom's side that there's nothing wrong with it but my dad's side of the family is very racist it eat's me up inside. I think people who are racist have very shallow personalities. If you are happy with your boyfriend I wouldn't care about what other people think.
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You can't help who you fall in love with. There is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING wrong with your mate being another color. You're not a slut because you're with a black male. If you love him, and he loves you who cares what others think about your relationship. Ignore what they say about it and continue being with him.
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As someone who is also middle class white British and has been in a relationship with someone of Caribbean descent, I can totally relate to your question.
I live in a big, multicultural city and I was really shocked at some of the judgments and criticisms my ex boyfriend and I would get when we were in public together. Up until that point I was completely naive to modern day racism. I assumed that, especially in a city like mine, people were accepting and tolerant of different races and colours.
I'm sure you will be very aware of the recent surge in popularity of far-right movements such as the BNP (British National Party) and EDL (English Defense League). The EDL in particular have been in the news very recently with a series of marches (which are often countered with demonstrations and protests from opposing groups such as Unite Against Facism). While these movements tend to focus on ignorant views of Islam, they are undeniable examples of modern day racism.
However, as far as I'm concerned, regardless of what racist groups like the EDL and BNP say, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating or marrying outside of your race. It is disgusting that a society which has come so far since the days of bus boycotts and sit-ins still accepts racist attitudes. Believing that it is wrong for white and black people to be together is pure ignorance. Scrape away the skin and everyone is exactly the same underneath. As for being a 'slut' just for being with a black guy? I'd certainly question the logic on that judgement. Being in a loving monogamous relationship doesn't sound at all slutty to me.
Have you asked your family why they have this attitude to interracial relationships? Although you may not be able to change their minds, it might be good to sit down with them and have a proper conversation about why they are so against the idea. Ask them if they will allow you to bring your boyfriend home for them to meet. Many people do hold stereotypical beliefs about black men (I'm sure you know the kind I mean - they father children to multiple women, they're all drug dealers, they're all involved in crime etc). If your family were able to get to know your boyfriend and realise that he is not like this then they may be able to put their prejudices aside.
However, I'm not so naive as to think that they will meet him, love him and completely change their views. Some people's personal beliefs and prejudices are far too set in stone to be changed. You may well have to accept that your family are never going to be supportive or your relationship and the consequences which may arise from that. In this case, things may be very difficult and you may have to decide whether your relationship is worth the difficulties with your family. I would never suggest ending a relationship on racial grounds but if it comes to choosing between your family and your boyfriend, you are going to have to seriously consider your options.
You may find these webpages interesting. The first is an article about why interracial couples often face difficulties within their relationships and the second is a forum thread about people's views on them:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Absoloutly not!!! I honestly think that sometimes people get their heads stuck in the past and believe that thats how the world still is... My grandmother practicly lives in the fifties.... Im not sure how to help, but like you said your 18... Your technacly an adult now.... At least here in the US you are... I take it your close to your family so sit them down and talk to them about how you feel.... they should listen. And why would anyone see a slut??? Ok so your dating... So what? And why is it anyone else buisness what you do? Just because you walk down the street with a black man doesnt mean your anything horrible. I hope i helped because im only 12.... Just stay confident.
LJB
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No it's not bad to see white and black people together. Racism is very much still alive in the world and its very hard to fight against this kind of discrimination. In parts of England, the majority of the population is white and in other parts its quite multicultural. Where I live, which is the city of London, you see quite a lot of interracial couples and its considered perfectly normal. However it could be that your family was brought up this way, so they were brought up to be against black people as some people believe that they "tainted" our world. As for your Nana saying your a slut when people see you now is quite rude and degrading to you. I think your family believes that you being with a black person will bring you down and turn you "bad". I would suggest you try and change their views on black people. Bring it up in your family and ask them what exactly it is that they find so wrong about your relationship. But otherwise good luck to you and your boyfriend xx
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