Although I am only 18 I have been through more than most adults have. If you have any questions about drugs, suicide, or family problems then I can help you out a lot. I've had to deal with all of that and I want to try and help people before they get as involved in it as I was. I will try to understand your situation the best that I can and give the best advice that I can. So ask me anything and I will answer you.
Gender: Female
Location: boston
Age: 18
Member Since: April 27, 2005
Answers: 110
Last Update: November 25, 2007
Visitors: 6651
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ok my best friend jayla thinks she's pretty and acts like she the prettiest one in the world. I don't like the way she acts. Her personality I don't like. She be calling other girls ugly at one minute and then the next minute, she sees her givng someone eles candy, she(jayla)holds her hand out, and expects that girl to give her candy. Now I don't know if I should be her best friend and I don't know if I shoudl even be her friend at all. She sometimes be calling me and my friends ugly, and I hate that!!! I sometimes feel like saying something mean back. But any thing that comes out of my mouth that is mean, it sometimes goes too far over the limit. she think I forgot all the things she be syaing but I don't!! and she also don't be having my back. If I were to get in a fight, then she wuold just watch. But my other friend Cornita promises she will have my back, and she do. I like Cornita alot, not like that, but as a Best best friend forever and always. Jayla, she used to be a good best friend to me now she isn't. (link)
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You don't need to be friends with her. She sounds like someone who is two faced and who isn't a good friend. If I were you I would just tell her that you don't like the way she is acting and how she is treating you and other people. You have a best friend who is there for you and who won't talk about you you don't need a friend that like Jayla.
Good luck
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My friend has been acting really weird lately ever since her mom started going out with her new boyfriend. She jumps back when people move to fast towards her or swing their arms near her like she thinks they're going to hit her. She's also been waring clothes that are really baggy which isn't like her at all. I talked to her about it and she started crying. She told me that her mom's boyfriend has been beating her and even raped her. He told her that if she tells anyone or tries to runaway he'll kill her mom. She asked me not to tell anyone but I hate seeing her being treated like this. I want to go the police but the thing is he has a lot of money so if they do arrest he can just get out on bail and then go after her. She's really scared of telling people and I don't want her to get hurt anymore. What can I do to help her she really needs help but she's afraid to get it. Is there anyway that I can get her help without her mom's boyfriend finding out about it? (link)
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You need to tell someone. She deosn't deserve that. No one does. Go to a school counselor they are required by law to do something about it. You can tell them what you know and then he can't hurt her for it. When the police come they can tell him that the school got suspicious. It is also a good idea to see if she can stay with you while all of this is going on. You should also talk to her mom. If he's threatening to kill her then she probably doesn't know what's going on and when she does she will help her and get him away from her. Tell your friend about what are you doing first though so that she is ready in case something goes wrong. And try to keep her away from him.
Good luck and I hope things get better for your friend
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My best friend and I have been really close since the beginning of this school year. Back when we first started to become really good friends, we would do everything together. Lately, shes been wanting to hang out with her boyfriend and her other friend all the time. And she always points out the bad stuff about me, like what I say, and how my personality bugs her and stuff. But I really wanna be friends with her it just hurts that shes nice to me sometimes and then so mean other times... I don't know what to do.. please help? (link)
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With the way she's treating you it looks like she doesn't want to be your friend anymore. If she was just hanging out with other people then that would be different but she is just mean to you. Even though you want to be friends with her you don't need a friend who will treat you like that nobody does. Try talking to her about it and see what she says. If she changes then that's great maybe it will bring you two closer as friends but if she still acts like this towards you then you really don't need her. Make new friends who won't treat you like that because you deserve better.
Good luck
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I was friends with this girl named Tina for a whole grade before we grew apart. REcently, her mother died from cancer, and whenever I saw her after that she acted like she was fine, so I always made sure to act cheery and bright around her, and to pretend as though it never happened. My other friends all tell me I'm heartless and pretending like it never happened to her is just going to make it worse. What do I do? (link)
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She is going through a really hard time right now. People react to problems in their lives differently. For her she needs to act like she's ok in order to deal with it. People being sad around her will only make her depressed let her deal with this in her own way. You being happy around her isn't being hearless it's being considerate of her feelings. I think the best thing you can do is what you have been doing. Just make sure she knows that you're there for her if she wants to talk.
Good luck and I hope things get better for your friend
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my friend has been 2 months late on her period.. she took a pregnancy test and claims shes not pregnant. she said that if there are 2 lines, it means shes pregnant..well i saw 2 lines, one was darker than the other and when i said i saw 2 lines she threw the pregnancy test back in the box. shes been awfully moody lately and has been telling her parents she has gotten her period for the past 2 months. she hasnt been acting the same..im really worried. what do you think? (link)
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It seems to me like she's pregnant. If you saw 2 lines and she threw the test then I think she knows and just doesnt' want to believe it. Have her take another pregnancy test just be sure but it really sounds like she is. She's probably scared, which is normal. Try talking to her. Let her know that you are there for her and that if she is pregnant she has has to deal with it. She can't just ignore something like that (which it seems she's trying to do). She needs to tell her parents if she is too they can probably help her through this more than you can. Just let her know that you are there for her and that she can get through this.
Good luck
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i've only known my friend since this year and we became really good friends but i think shes been a terrible friend lately.If I tell her something she said she goes off saying 'omg! you're putting words in my mouth!' when other people were there to hear her say what i told her she said.i do so much stuff for her and still shes mean.i put my hair in a parted ponytail and she's like, 'i see you tried my hairstyle' i got so annoyed when she said that because why would i want to be like her! she thinks im competing with her too because i've been doing my hair nicer.I told her my parents were looking to move and she gets all pissed saying'you promised you were going to the same high school as me!' instead of getting mad wouldnt a real friend be sad?If I have a pimple she points it out like I don't already know.It seems like she goes out of her way to make me feel bad.This has just been building up and I'm tired of her and her drama. I just need some advice this girl thinks she's god and has all the answers, but I think it's all in her head.Help?!
should we still be friends?If so, how can I change her for the better? (link)
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You can't change her. And she is obviously not a very good friend. I really don't think you should be friends with her anymore. Your friends are supposed to help you, be nice to you, and be there for you. From your description it seems like she isn't of those things. She is not a very good friend and if it was me I wouldn't deal with it. The next time she says something to you that seems like she's being a bitch then tell her how you feel. Just say look I'm really sick of the way you've been treating me and if you're going to continue to do it then I'm not going to hang out with you anymore. If she changes then that's great and if not then oh well you don't need to be around people who treat you like that.
Good luck
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k im 14, 5'8 and 110 lbs...so yeah im really slim, but not in a gross way. anyway, i've been getting alot of exercise lately because i started training for jr olympic volleyball...on the other hand, i've had a huge appetite and been eating a ton. also for background info, i have a very high metabolism. anyway, i've noticed im starting to get a bit of a tummy and it makes me feel sad! its probably diverting attention from my boobs too...whats the easiest way for me to get my flat stomach back (and don't suggest anything dietary...i love food)...specific exercises? thanks (link)
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Try doing sit ups and crunches. Those exercises work your stomach muscles and they will help you get a flatter stomach.
Good luck
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well the last month i have been thinking about cuttin because me and this kid nmed ryan*MY LOVE*
have been fighting. i told one of my friends and they told my school counsler. my school cons. called me down and we talked about everything.. now im seeing a theropist witch im happy about.
but the other day i cut R in my leg..and i cut 4 lines kinda small on my leg.
last night i was talking to ryan on the comptuer and he said he would die for me,he loved me,he hates kelly(his EX)
and today in his profile he put kelly-i love you.
i asked him what was up and he said i dont know.
but i have been down that rode plenty of times..when ever me and him fighting or ingoure eachother he puts that in his profile,to make me jeoulse.(he told me it was to make me jeoulse)
soo i dont no if he is lieing about the kelly thing or serouse because i wanna die i cant live my life with out him i love him so much.
but i dont no if he makes me cut,trys to get me jeoulse
should i be friends/love him?
but if i dont talk to him i see his name on my budydlist and i see him in school and dont say anything i wanna cut.what should i do? (link)
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First cutting is a very very bad thing. I used to cut and I know how it feels to want to cut but cutting can become addicting and you should really try to stop. I'm sure that your therapist will be happy to help stop doing that because it is very dangerous.
As for your boyfriend. If you love him then you can't help that. No one can really say no you shouldn't love and you can't just say well you make me jealous and want to cut so I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry but it just doesn't work that way. Try talking to him about it. Tell him that it really hurts you when he says that he loves another girl in his profile just because you two are fighting. If he knows that you cut then tell him that when he does that it makes you want to do that and hurt yourself. If he doens't know about it then maybe you should tell him. Tell him that sometimes you cut yourself because he hurts with what he says. Hopefully that will make him realize what he is doing to you and stop. But you really need to stop cutting.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you
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i need some backup for this:
this "Gangsta rap" dude at school slapped one and punched another girl in the middle of the hallway two days ago. needless to say he got suspended. I work with one of the girls and the guy. he is a lazy grocery bagger, she's also a bagger.
Question: need opinions from both sexes on the issue of "guys can't hit girls". personally, i want to thrash him within an inch of his life, as do most of the other guys i have talked to. is that a bad thing?
other info: he's done it before, and has had his ass kicked multiple times for it.
did i mention that he also dresses like a drug dealing lowlife? oh yeah i did, stupid kids trying to live like gangsters in suburbia.
-hilter (link)
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No wanting to beat the shit out of him for hitting a girl is a good thing. He has NO right not hit girls no mand does. If he thinks that he can away with hitting girls then he will continue to do it when he is an adult and could end up hurting someone very badly. I was abused by my dad and it is aweful. He needs to get the point now that he cannot treat girls that way and if he does he will pay for it. What your feeling is a good thing. He deserves to get beat for hurting girls it is extremely wrong. Most of the time girls are weaker guys and it is unfair for a guy to take advantage of that. Thank you for wanting to hurt and asshole like that and if more people felt that way then maybe less people would get abused.
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ok so im homeschooled... and next year i'll be going into 9th grade. I'm still deciding if i should keep homeschooling or go back to public. All my fiends want me to go back. I want to too but then i have two places i wanna be at.. I love being homeschooled and all but i feel like im missing the socializing... so im not sure which i should go to...
what do you think?
plz help i needa know!
i rate (link)
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I think you should go to public school. You'll be able to see your friends more and going to school can be really fun. If you had never gone to public school then it might be a little strange at first but because you have gone before I think that it will be ok. Going to school can be really fun especially if you have friends there. I really think that you should go to public school. And if you find out that you prefer homeschooling over public school then go back to be homing schooled.
Good luck
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My bbf bf and I like 2 months ago had something going while he was going with my bff well I regret that more then ever and I've been feeling guilty so then I came out and told her what type of guy he was and what had happened.Then she asked him and he said it was a complete lie and it never happened.So now she tells me I'm a lier and she can't trust me anymore and believe every word that comes out of his mouth.She has known him for a year and me 3 years.I feel bad about what I did but I don't see why he is acting like nothing happened and I'm the one stuck with the guilt.Please help me I don't know what to do! (link)
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He's denying it because he's a cheater and doesn't want to get caught. Your friend doesn't believe because she probably doesn't want to believe that her bf would do something like that. The only way that you can show her that he's a cheater is for her to catch him cheating on her. You did the right thing by telling your friend about your mistake and it's not your fault that she won't believe you. Her bf is a jerk and until she realizes that there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry to say this but because she doesn't want to believe that he is like she is going to take his side and there is really nothing that you can do about it. Eventually she will realize that you were telling her the truth and when she does don't be angry with her for not believing you just talk to her about it. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this and that I can't be much help.
Good luck and I hope things get better between you and your friend
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Okay, I'm a pretty preppy girl. I have lots of friends, and we all are into fashion, and dressing our best. Anyway, I have a secret love, that's so far from fashion I'm afraid my friends will hate me for it. It's skateboarding. I loove skateboarding so much, and I always go skateboarding after school with all the skaters at the park and stuff. It makes me happy, I love learning new tricks, and doing all that guyish stuff. It's so weird, but I feel like I can't tell my friends. Well, now they're all getting curious about why I don't have as much time to hang out with them..and I'm starting to run out of excuses. I've only told one of my friends (whom I'm actually not that great of friends with, someone whose 'out' of my group and in a 'less known' group, but she's wonderful) who I never really thought much of, until I learned she can keep my secret. She's such a great friend, and I'm wondering why I feel like I can't tell my other 'friends' about my secret passion for skateboarding. What am I to do? Should I just come out and tell them I like skateboarding? (I don't think that any of them will take this badly, but sometimes girls can be really.. picky about things, and some of my 'friends' may ditch me because of this) Find new friends? Only tell some of them? Aghh, help!!
SAM♥ (link)
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You should tell them. If they ditch you and stop being your friend because you like skateboarding then they weren't really your friends. Just tell them that you like skateboarding and if they want to be mean and ditch you because of it then you don't need them anyways. I'm sure that you can make friends that will like you for who you are and not just because you're a prep and like fashion.
good luck
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there's a kid who wants to fight my friend and his little brother (known them for about 10years now)my friend knows i have his back but told me not to jump in if a fight breaks out. the other kid is very street and it could get ugly quick. i kno i can make a pancake out of this b*tch. im 15 years old 6'1 175(muscle i mite add) i dont want my friends geting hurt, so should i fight this kid myself or let my neighbor do it.
talking it over and going to adults doesnt work so please dont suggest that. (link)
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If your friend doesn't want you to get involved then don't. At first. This is his fight and he wants to handle it himself. Try to be there with him when it happens and if things start getting bad and your friend is getting really hurt then step in and help your friend. But if he doesn't want you in it then stay out of it until he really needs your help.
good luck
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Ok sorry that this is long but please don't pass over it I really need help.
My parents aren't divorced but they both cheat on each other they basically both get with anything that moves of the opposite sex. My dad is always drunk and is very abusive. My mom isn't physically abusive but she just tells me that I'm a waste of life and that she wishes she never had me and that I'm such a huge mistake and bla, bla, bla but her boyfriend Tom hits me all the time and even rapes me sometimes. I've gone to the police before and they took my parents side because to everyone else they look like such nice people. But at night they're druggies and alcoholics. I even went to social sevices they put me in a home for a week where I started cutting and then they put me right back with them! Lately I met a guy who uses drugs and I've been going out with him. And we were using and did some things and now I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. He was arrested for possesion so I can't go to him. I can't go to my parents. I really don't have any friends who aren't stoners and all they care about is how they're going to get their next fix. I don't know what to do. I've already tried killing myself and it didn't work. I'm soo scared I don't know what to do. I was going to run away but I know that I'll just end up somewhere where there's drugs and I'm really trying to stop. What can I do about all of this? Please help me (link)
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First, I am ver sorry that you have to go through this. It's really aweful. You need to get away from your parents. Do you have a friend or another family member who you could stay with? You also need to get help for yourself that fact that you are doing drugs and attemptind to kill yourself is very dangerous. You are obviously going through a very difficult time and you don't know how to deal with it so you turn to drugs like your parents do. You need to get away from that and get some help. I think that you should have the baby. If you can find a place to stay where you can take care of yourself and also get support for your baby then you should keep it. I think that it will be good for you and will give you more drive to take care of yourself. If you can't get somewhere to say where you can get help then you should give the baby up for adoption it will be better for you and will be more fair for the baby. No matter what you decide to do about it you need to stop doing drugs and attempting suicide. It is not only dangerous for you now it's dangerous for the baby.
I hope I helped and good luck...I hope things get better for you
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i'll be standing at my locker, waiting for my boyfriend, and my best friend comes up. well, i wanted to talk to my boyfriend about stuff, like not with her around. i want to tell her to quit comin cuz she does it everyday, but i dont want to be mean. i'd like to have some alone time with my boyfriend but SHES ALWAYS THERE. she's really getting on my nerves. what should i do? (link)
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Just tell her how you feel. But be nice about it. Tell her that you need to talk to your boyfriend alone sometimes. Make it clear that you're not trying to be mean you just need some alone time with your friend. If you're nice about then she will understand and leave you alone with him.
Good luck
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Hey ok so im really good friends with this girl.. and well i kind of did stuff with her brother uhm yeah and he went back and told her what we did.. so now she hates me! But i couldnt help it.. i really like him and now she gets on my case about lieng to her and i cant stand it because she doesnt understand because she thinks that she is the only one that can feel strongly to her b/f!.. And even her mom tried talking to her about it and i still think she doesnt understand.. but ive also went out with her brother before and she didnt care.. and i dont know what to do or to say to her.. and its making me mad that i cant even talk to her about it and the fact that she doesnt trust me either!!! (link)
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Try to understand where she's coming from. Although you may not agree with how she feels try to see it from her point of view. You did stuff with her brother and she's hurt by that. Try to talk to her tell her how you feel and listen to what she has to say. If she won't talk to you then write her a note or an e-mail and if that doesn't work maybe you could to another friend about it and have them talk to her. I've never been in this type of situation but I think that if you show her that you are trying to fix the problem and see how she feels she will forgive you
I'm sorry i couldn't be more help good luck and i hope things get better between you and your friend
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My mom gave me a pair of earrings a while ago. I wore them all the time and I loved them. The problem is, I lost one of them somewhere in school. It was a total accident and it must have came off while I was running/playing sports. I have still have one of them, but I don't know whether to tell my mom. I have alot of other earrings and the lost earring is probably already stolen. Should I just let it go or fess up to my mom? If they were expensive, I would be in deep trouble. Also, my mom would think I was very irresponsible and wouldn't trust me with anything anymore. (link)
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You should tell her. You may get in trouble but if she finds out that you lost it and didn't tell her about it then you could get into even more trouble. Explain to her what happened and apologize for it. She may be angry but she will be even angrier and trust you even less if she finds out that you lost it and didn't tell her about it.
Good luck
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My uncle (and cousins) are feeling great depression. A few months ago my aunt died. Since then many things have been going downhill from there. He forgets to pick up my cousins from various acivities and hasn't been feeding them for the past few days. My older cousins (from my aunt's first marrige) have taken taken the the ones closer to my age to their apartment for a few days (I am not sure if they are back home yet). My dad went down there for the weekend to help things out but I'm not sure how much of a difference this will make. This is because I found out today my uncle has lost his job. This means it is even harder for him to surrport his kids. We were inviting the children to spend the summer up here (we still are) but now we are woried they are going to move up here. It is not that we don't want them here is is that it is hard to move your whole live to a new state a such an age they are.
Now my question is what can I do to help? Is there any advice I could have my parents give to my uncle (it would be weird taking advice from his niece)? Intelligent answers only. If y@ typ3 lyk th!$ don't answer. THank you. (link)
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The only thing that you really can do is be there for your cousins. They are going through a really rough time and they might need to talk to someone that they can trust just try to be there for them and let them know that they can talk to you and trust you. As for your uncle he is obviously taking this very hard. All your parents can really do is try to talk to him. He needs the support of his family right now. I think that it would be a very good idea to maybe give him some time alone like your dad is trying to do that will give him some time to think about things and sort things out. It will also give your cousins a place to go where they can go and have support. Your parents just need to make sure that your uncle knows that they will be there for him when he needs it.
Good luck and I hope things get better for your uncle and your cousins
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hi well my mom has been using some drug for maybe a couple years, but i dont know what it is but i know for a fact she is. she'll stay in the bathroom for a long time and doesnt stop sniffing after or whatever and acts really weird, doesnt go to bed that night and like picks at her hair and shit and freaks out when i walk in and i love my mom and i hate the rest of my family, my sister is the biggest bitch and she is so mean to my mom and everyone.. whats my mom using? i cant help but being sad and today i was out with her and my sister called and said tell mom shes a disgrace and i want her to go back to the lake ( our house in nh where my mom goes when my sister or dads mean) and she hungup so i called back and said she was real tough and to tell her herself, so she told my mom on the phone and she was so sad.. and my mom dropped me off and started crying and said shed be back in a little... shes not home and now my dad asked wut happened and i didnt really hear but my sister said something about my mom and stuff was everywhere in the bathroom near the sink.. thanks=/ (link)
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The drug your mom is using is cocaine. Cocanine looks like a white powder and people take it by snorting/sniffing it that's why she is always sniffing when she gets out of the bathroom. The stuff in the bathroom was probably cocaine that was left spilt. I used to do cocaine and it is exctremely addictive but she can get help. You need to help her get through this though. Try to keep her from stess and it's a good idea to try and keep her away from your sister and dad if they are being mean to her because that will cause stress and make her want to use. It's very important that you help her through this she can do it it's very possible. I don't mean to scare you but if she is using cocaine, which it sounds like she is to me, then it's important that you help her cocaine is extremely dangerous and she needs help.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you and your mom
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My Mum hates me she hits me all the time wat can I do? (link)
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Get out of there. Your mom has no right to hit you. Do you have any relatives or friends that you could maybe stay with? If she is hitting you that's abuse and you need to tell someone. It could be the police, a counselor or a trusted adult but you need to get out of there right away. If she continues to hit then you could end up in the hospital. You need to get out of there ASAP.
Good luck
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