I'm here for you. If you ever need to contact me, my email and Tumblr are there. ocalaphernelle.tumblr.com/
E-mail: Gbox360@me.com
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia
Member Since: January 8, 2015
Answers: 214
Last Update: October 27, 2016
Visitors: 9439
|
| |
Hallo am Julius from kenya am 25year am a Male, here is my question,
It is my second year in love relationship. And we trust each other. We are both new in relationshp. So i requested my love for sex bt her excuse is that Julius Am virgin and am not fan of that lets wait till marriage my question is
Is it fear coz we are both new in romantic relationshp
Is it that the girl is afraid of her bodqy and shyness
Advice
Thank you, Am julius (link)
|
It could be various things. But either way, don't push her. If she wants to wait, you need to respect her wishes. You could try telling her in a gentle way that she has nothing to be shy of or worry about, but like I said, don't push your luck. Be really loving about it and stuff, and it is best to say that when whenever she is ready, and hopefully you feel that way.
Hope this helps~
|
My wife and I have known each other since we were kids, but started dating 5 years ago and got married a mere 1 ½ years ago. This past month I had been noticing some changes with how she acted around her phone (becoming very secretive, texting another coworker who is roughly 16 years older). I finally confronted her about it last week, and she said that she doesn’t have feelings for him, but at the same time her feelings for me aren’t there anymore. Naturally this blew me away and devastated me. We had a surprisingly good week and weekend after that conversation (things seemed very normal), but didn’t talk about it at all. Basically at the end of our conversation, we came to the agreement that she needed to think about things and where her heart was at before we continued speaking. She also didn’t completely elude to what she was feeling, only that her emotional needs weren’t being met, but it was her and not me.
To be upfront, I don’t believe her when she says she doesn’t have feelings for this guy. We were completely fine 2 months ago and everything changed very quickly. That’s the only reason I can think of for such a rapid change of heart. Second of all, she has begun to become very disrespectful in terms of her lack of communication. She has had a few later nights at work (which are actually legit), but she’ll text me saying she’s leaving in 20 minutes, and doesn’t show up for another 2 hours. Essentially what happens is they finish up their work and all decide to go out for a drink (I also believe this, that’s their group). But she never communicates this with me, or if she has promised to be home by a certain time, she blows past this by hours. (And if anybody is wondering, 2 of the 3 instances this coworker hasn’t been involved with, he was out of town). I have also caught her in a lie where she said she was talking to a friend for an hour on the phone, but it was actually that coworker.
Despite all of this, I am actually still madly in love with her and not wanting the marriage to end at all (I was actually in a really good spot in our marriage when all this hit). But I feel stuck in terms of how I can move forward. If I confront her again about the guy, it will push her away. If I get mad at her about the hours and communication, this will also push her away. To be honest, I feel like I can still win her back and am putting in the effort to do so. I can see everybody saying “Don’t let her treat you like that!” To be honest, she has been a fantastic partner other than this month, so I feel like if we can get back to normal it’s definitely worth it. Any advice on how to approach this would be great.
(link)
|
To be quite honest with you, I don't see how you could be okay with the fact that she is straying like that. But anyway, I suggest marriage counseling. Find a good marriage counselor and try it out. It could really help you guys, or show what has to be done. The longer you wait, the more she can lose feelings, so I suggest doing something soon. It couldn't hurt to just try it out, and I've heard it can really benefit.
Hope this helps~
|
|
My name is Rachel and i am 26all years old and I have been trying to get my Ged for the past 3 months at the local college here. My problem is that I have ( add) Attention deficiet Disorder. I am on meds Adderal prescribed but I still have trouble concentrating even though I take it every day as prescribed. What makes it worse is that my boyfriend Randall who is 21 with. (ADHD) Attention deficiet hyperactive DDisordor with no meds and no insurance and no income to get any meds. He sits right beside me in the same classroom. He talks teally loud to his friends on the other side of the room and rustles papers. It seems like he does everything he can to purposesly to distract me. I ve talked to him about it and asked him if he could be quiet but it seems to no good and is even louder after the talk. If I move somewhere else away from him he follows me. Would breaking up woth him be to strong of action? What should I do? I am so frusterated right now i am about ready to give up and quit school. Help. (link)
|
Breaking up with him won't do anything, considering he'll still be in the class and such. I suggest sitting him down and really talking about it again and say how important this is, and give him reminders. What would be best is if he got help for it (meds, etc.) so if he can, try to find all options for that. I'm pretty sure there are even natural meds. I take natural medication for depression, and there are others for other things. So I definitely suggest really talking to him about it again, and maybe even talk to the teacher or his friends.
Hope this helps~
|
|
I dont know what to do,we havent texted for like 2 days now,should I wait for her to text me or I'll text her first? And how would I know if she likes me back? I feel a little discourage. (link)
|
Well I think you should just go ahead and text her, because usually that's how you know someone is really into you, is if they try to talk to you a lot and text first a lot. It is hard to say, considering it is different for everyone, but there are a few signs you could look for, like with the communication thing I just said, and if she seems overly interested in things to do with you, or laughs at your jokes really hard or gives a lot of compliments or something. Some people, however, can be super casual with this kind of thing, so like I said, it varies. There is this thing you can look up that is like the signs and how you can tell each one likes you or not. (And when I say signs I mean the zodiacs. Scorpio, Capricorn, etc.) I don't know if you believe in that stuff, but I personally find it to be pretty accurate. If all else fails, you could always just ask her out or ask if she's into you, and see what happens.
Hope this helps~
|
M/17
This girl that like or have crush on,I dont know what to do anymore. This past few weeks we gotten really close to each other,we texted a lot but i dont if thats enough. I mean She knows that i have a crush on her,because I confess it to her,its suppose to be an April fools prank but I lost the oppurtunity to say the "April Fools" so I yeah she knows. Of all the girls that I have a crush on Shes the different one,because I didnt even bother to know those girls more,but this girl shes really different from the others....I dont know. I miss her a lot,because its summer vacation here in the Philippines,and Im not gonne see her at school anymore because were entering college soon (we have a different schooling system here) I think Im falling for her,and this my first time to make an effort to know a girl. Oh and never had Girlfriend before so I dont know what to do...so bear with me...Should I continue this?? (link)
|
I don't see why not. There doesn't seem to be any difficulties, and she probably likes you back if after you told her how you feel, she is still talking to you quite a bit and such. So I say go for it!
Hope this helps~
|
|
ive been pretty depressed for a while... i got my first bf in feb. 2014 and we broke up last week. also my frinds started fighting and hating eachother. i lost my only 5 frinds that i had made since 1rst grade. i started getting bad grades on my report cards and im getting made fun of for it. im just 10 years old but i cut myself and hav suicidal thoughts... please give me advice. (link)
|
Listen, there are always going to be heart breaks, heart aches, fall outs, and bad times. We all go through it, but that doesn't make your problems any less important, remember that. I know it hurts, but people can't always fill that voyd inside you. Frankly, people suck; and will always let you down. So I suggest finding something else you enjoy that makes you happy. Friends come and go, and you will find new ones, don't worry. You can always get tutors to help you with school, and if it really bothers you, then crack down harder and try to study and focus more. I can even try to help you with anything you need help with, if you want my number or something. (Of course you would have to send me another msg for me to be able to reply with it) Please don't give up or lose hope, because life has beautiful things to it, and it gets better and eventually will be worth it. There are medications you can get for depression, and there is therapy and stuff. Instead of taking it out like that, talk to someone about how you feel. You can talk to me whenever you need it.
Hope this helps~
|
|
I think that I might have anxiety but I don't know how to bring it up to my parents. They would never get me therapy and if I even brought up therapy my dad would mock me. But I don't know what to do because it's getting worse and I'm not sure if this makes any sort of sense but I always feel like there's a knot in my stomach because I'm always nervous and my palms are sweaty and my underarms are sweaty and I'm shaky and I've felt this way for almost 2 years now. There's only been one time in the past 2 years that I've actually felt calm. I had just finished an essay that was due the next day and it was 3 am and I thought that I was never going to get it done but then I did and it felt like there was a tight belt around my stomach that had been unbuckled and I could finally breath but that feeling was gone when I woke up the next morning. I'm only 14 so I can't go get therapy or any sort of help myself because anything I tell my school counselor goes straight to my parents. it's mostly just general nervousness that I struggle with but I have pretty severe social phobia as well and I rarely leave the house even to come to the store or anywhere. I only go to the library. I just don't know what to do. I want the metaphorical belt to be permanently unbuckled. (link)
|
It definitely sounds like anxiety. A mixture of anxiety, to be in fact. Regular anxiety, and social anxiety. You should get therapy, but there are also medicines for anxiety. Which includes natural meds. Anxiety, like a lot of other things, can get very out of hand, so I suggest getting help ASAP. There are some things you can do like taking relaxing baths, and listening to calming music, reading, meditating, taking a walk, and other things that relax you. Getting fresh air when you're feeling really anxious is important. Even if it is sticking your head out the window. Also, placing a heavy book on your chest sometimes helps people with anxiety. Any kind of pressure like sticking your hand in your shirt on your chest, can weirdly help. Drinking calming tea and other things work, too. You should also make sure you talk about things. I am here whenever you need someone, but that's just me.
Hope this helps~
|
|
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and I'm very much in love with him.. he has been fantizising about seeing a girl with me.. I'm not at all about a "threesome" he hasn't said it out but he hints bout it turns him on to see another with me... I'm scared if he's wanting to be with someone else or he just doesn't love me or respect me. (link)
|
Some guys just find that hot for some reason, even though I find that quite disgusting. If that bothers you, tell him. Don't stand down to something like that. Clearly he may not respect you, so if you don't want to do that, then tell him that flat out, even if he only "hints."
Hope this helps~
|
|
How do you give great blowjobs? To make him feel good . (link)
|
There are a few things you can do. Definitely lubricator his privates with eatable solution, makes it way easier. Make sure your hand is on his penis as your mouth is on it. You don't have to go deep throat. There are no sensitive sections near the beginning of his penis. Humming while sucking, causes a vibration that can be quite nice if you two don't find it weird. Make sure you ask if certain things feel good and check in with him. Those are just a few, and you can look up more online.
Hope this helps~
|
|
So there's some girls who say when you lose your virginity it hurts is it true? (link)
|
Yes, depending on your tolerance for pain will depend how Much it hurts, however. It mainly only hurts for girls though. How it works, is that there is this circle of skin (like a ring) outside your vagina (the whole) that rips a little when you lose your virginity, because of the pressure and all. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It has to happen sometime, after all.
Hope this helps~
|
|
Hey! I'm a teenage girl and I need a bit of advice. My family is going to the beach tomorrow (my mom and 4 siblings) but I have a hefty amount of school work to get done so I'm staying behind. The thing is, I'm super nervous about them going. my sister is only 50 pounds and my brother is 40 pounds and the older ones can't swim and I'm in constant fear that they'll drown or be swept away even when I'm with them. I know that I have anxiety to some extent (though I've never brought it up because I feel stupid) so I know that my thinking probably isn't logical, but I can't help it. I feel like ditching my school work and just going along but then I'd be anxious about failing classes. every time I think about them going I get flashes of tears and funerals and my mom trying to pull the kids back to shore to no avail. how can I stop this thinking so I can focus on my work when they go? (link)
|
I think it's pretty normal to worry about the ones in your life. Just make sure that whoever is taking them will watch them (which if parents are present, then I'm sure they will) and stay with them in the ocean. Unless you are in the much deeper parts of the water, the water isn't that rough, besides at the shore but that only pulls the water towards the same. You could always go yourself just to make sure, and cram a bunch of your work and studying b4 you go, and then do the rest while you're there, but that is up to you. You could just be over thinking it. I mean, kids go to the beach all the time, and unless there is a storm, I'm sure there is nothing to worry about. They should have floaties and rafts and stuff, and probably not let into deep parts. You could just tell your parent(s) that you've been strangely worrying, and ask them to keep an extra eye on them and stay with them.
Hope this helps~
|
Hey... Im kinda depressed from moving and losing friends. My whole life Ive moved and lost friends alot. At first I lived in a trailer. I moved into a small country house in the middle of no where. There I met my best friend. I stayed for a few years and we became closer than sisters. Much to my distress we then moved to a small city house in nashville where i became friends with Heaven and Avery who soon moved. When I was still there I befriended Alena and Elly. I moved back to the country house away from my city friends but back to my "sister." Soon afterwards I moved to tiny house in a small town where I befriended Whitney Maddie Noelia and Keondria. Within months I moved to an average sized house in a big city. I then became friend with Meredith Charlsie and Nicole. They have recently turned on me and eachother. I am now friendless.
Just to let any advice givers know I am a preteen. (link)
|
What most people do in a situation where they move a lot, is try not to get so attached until your family settles. I realize this can be hard, but it is the best option, really. You can still be friendly and let people into your life, but just try to keep relationships (friendships and such) on the down-low. One way you can have friends wherever you are, is getting online friends. Online friendships aren't always the best, but they can be, and they're in contact wherever you are. (NEVER get into an online relationship though, word of advice) so if you really want friends you can talk to anytime, that's your best choice. Of course it is simply talking, and not being with them, so you could just be doing the same with your other friends you've had and just stay in contact with them instead, but it's up to you.
Hope this helps~
|
Try to imagine a woman like this and tell me if you think she's an absolutely abysmal mother. She has a whole mess of children including eight sons and a daughter. She was prone to multiple births and was going to quit after she finally had a girl, but was surprised with triplet sons.
She loves all of her so, so very much that she can hardly stand it. She loves EACH of them so much that she would die for any one of them without thinking about it. She loves them equally, but she's having trouble understanding a particular emotion she's having.
Not all of the kids have the same father. Her third son, Luke had a father who was murdered 17 years ago. Because of this, Luke's mother has always been terribly protective of him, more so than the other kids, and doesn't know why. She doesn't love him more that the other kids and his father's murderer is dead, so it's not like she can come after him, but she's still so crippled by the fear of losing him as she is about losing one of the other kids, but in a different way. It's not like it'd be worse than losing one of the other kids as she does not value his life any more than theirs, which makes this feeling so much more confusing.
She had a dream on night that two of her sons, Luke and Shane (one of the triplets) were in an accident recently. They were hit by a truck driven by a man that was having a heart attack at the time. It wasn't as bad of an accident as it sounds like as the truck wasn't moving very fast.
Luke suffered a few broken ribs and two bruised lungs, but was never in danger. Shane wasn't as lucky, but wasn't terribly unlucky either. He had broken ribs, bruised and punctured lungs, a crushed lower right leg, a broken wrist, and a cracked elbow. Both boys were basically guaranteed to survive, but Shane's situation was scarier, or should have been anyway. He had to have surgery to repair some bleeding in his chest and abdomen and got out of surgery right about the time mom got to the hospital.
She got to see Luke first and although she felt like she was in Hell when she heard about the accident, she was in Heaven when she saw Luke sitting up, looking at her, and talking to her. She had to be careful of his chest, but being able to hug his neck and head was one of if not THE greatest feeling she's ever had in her life.
Then she went to Shane's room. He was still unconscious from have been anesthetized, he was on a ventilator until the anesthesia wore off, and he was just heartbreaking to look at. It was definitely not the good feeling she got when she went into Luke's room.
Shane started breathing on his own the next morning and woke up a few hours later (they had him pretty sedated). Seeing this was an unbelievable delight for his mother. She was so happy, but it was a different kind of happy than when she saw that Luke was okay. Not less happy, just different happy.
When she woke up from this dream, she felt like a terrible, terrible mother and is wondering why she's feeling this way. She can't help but assume it's related to what happened to Luke's father. She has a few theories about why this could be happening including that she associates Luke with feelings of loss more than the other kids because she lost his father. Perhaps The thought of him becoming the victim of an act of violence angers hers terribly because of what happened to his dad. Or perhaps she just couldn't wait for him to become a man and reach the age his father was at the time of his death. She wanted to see how much he was like his dad and didn't want anything to happen to him before that could happen.
Why do YOU think this happens and do you think this woman is an absolutely terrible, pathetic mother? (link)
|
No I do not think you are a terrible mother. You're clearly experiencing a lot of mixed emotions and perhaps anxiety, which can come out the wrong way in your dreams. If you're thinking that it might make you a bad mother to feel that way to your son, then your dream can distort that. I think you're right when you say you may associate that son to the father and his death, so you feel that the same might happen to him. But that doesn't mean it will. Some people get hurt, some die certain ways, but death isn't a disease (that's if the cause for the death wasnt disease) and just because the parent died unexpectedly, doesn't mean the kid will. You're going to have to try and detach from these feelings sooner or later, and I suggest sooner. I suggest you see a therapist or psychiatrist to help you talk this out and find professional answers. This doesn't mean something is wrong with you, I think it is actually natural to feel this way under the circumstances.
Hope this helps~
|
I am McKenzie and I have a few questions so I apologize for it being so lengthy.
So this kid in our class ( A Guy) was sniffing markers ( sharpies), Snorting smarties and candy. Smelling hand sanitizer. Evidently he got high off of this. He got a really bad head ache like a migraine and he was about to cry.
Which he isn't one to cry. At first I thought it was just normal he always gets headaches ( I didn't know about the high at the time). Then I heard. He walked funny and was acting drunk. I guess about 30-45 minutes later he felt better and we all took a restroom break. He went and he was talking to someone in the other stall. Which I know cuz the kid in the stall told me the next part. He was laughing and then he stopped. Left the stall crying his eyes out. He told his guy friend something. Long story short he peed blood.
BTW I heard it could be a side effect for type 2 diabetes so
He's healthy skinny tall and eats all fruits and veggies
Next question can a teacher make fun of you?
We we're taking a test and basically the teacher called us Lesbos. Not an insult but I'm not and she said it out loud.
Would she get fired if staff knew?
Next
A teacher was making fun of gays , is this approved for teachers too do?
Thanks (link)
|
Well I'm not really sure what the question is in there, but it is Extremely unhealthy to snort and smell all of those things. (Even though drugs are very unhealthy too) Skinnyer people Can actually get type two diabetes, and that is probably the reason why he is eating healthier. I highly suggest you tell him to not do those things like an idiot, and get looked at for the blood thing if he hasn't already. NO, a teacher cannot say things like that. I am not entirely sure if they can get fired for it, but it is possible. So I suggest telling an advisor. (The whole story) Depending on what was said exactly when you say "making fun of," because technically a teacher shouldn't make fun if anyone, but whether they could get in trouble or not all depends and what was said.
Hope this helps~
|
|
So I had sex in February ans I got my period a couple days after. Now March came around and I haven't gotten my period. I didn't have any sex at all in March but my boyfriend fingered me and I was already two days late on my period I was supposed to get in March. He said I was bleeding alittle but then I used the restroom and I had nothing. I haven't had my period for two weeks now and I took a pregnancy test when I was 8 days late on my period and it came back negative. Now I have white thick milky discharge could I be pregnant or am I just stressing to much is my period probably coming? Help?! (link)
|
It might've been a cheapy pregnant test, so if you're really worried, you could get looked up at the doctors. You could just be over thinking it, but fingering does not cause pregnancy. It is normal for females to have that discharge. I suggest waiting a little longer, and if it has been close to a month, then I highly suggest getting it checked out, because it could definitely mean you're pregnant.
Hope this helps~
|
|
Hi guys! I'm 16/female, and gave dirty blonde hair, and was wanting to use a trick I recently heard of to make it blonder, by adding lemon judge and water to my hair. From where I heard, they said to leave it in your hair and stay in the sun for 30-60 minutes, then condition out. Is the conditioning necuessary? Because if I get out in the sun, I would most likely be with friends, and not get the chance to condition out till the next morning modst likely. Would it still be good to use, or should I not do it? I don't really see why it has to be conditioned out in the first place. (link)
|
Honestly, that doesn't sound healthy for your hair at all. That's like one of those tricks like "Oreo eyeliner" which can actually SERIOUSLY damage your eyes. Just because it kinda makes sense, and seems cool, doesn't mean it is good for you. I wouldn't advice lemoning your hair and all that, but if you're going to, definitely condition it or something, because it could severely damage your hair, either way.
Hope this helps~
|
|
I've cut my daily calorie intake from 4000 to 1500, I'm drinking lots of water and green tea every day (they're the only beverages I drink now), I've cut out crisps, chocolate, cakes, and all forms of junk food. I exercise for 30 minutes a day. I've been doing this for 10 days so why haven't I lost any weight? (link)
|
You shouldn't trust green tea for weight loss. Although it can aid your process, if you drink too much too often, it may not help and maybe even make it worse. It is very good to drink a good amount of water, but water Does cause water weight. I do not suggest cutting out water though, it's not bad to have a little water weight. These things take time, so be patient with it. It also depends on the exercising you do. Certain ones get rid of fat in certain places. Walking a lot, like maybe 45-60 minutes a day can really improve your health and even help a little in weight loss. I suggest looking into some healthy weight loss techniques to help you with it if you don't start to see improvement. Btw, there are some health conditions that prevent weight loss, so you should look into that too if it takes a long time.
Hope this helps~
|
|
hey, so I met this girl a few months ago, and we've been dating. the only problem is, we live about 2 hours away. I love making her happy, so I was wondering something I could text her to make her day, that would make us love each other even more (kind of impossible though) I'm 14 and I'm a guy, so i would mind a girl around my age's advice please :) (link)
|
Tell her how much she means to you. Tell her little things that no one would normally talk about that you love about her. Make sure it is all from the heart. If it's one thing you never want to do, is copy something else someone said. I realize that other people in the world say things that you say like "I love you" and all that, but unless you're quoting something to her where she knows you didn't write it, I don't suggest it. Tell her something like how you can see galaxies in her eyes. You could even make her a poem if she's into that. Talking about y'all's future might make her happy, if she is into that as well. See what compliments she likes the most, and try doing those a lot.
Hope this helps~
|
22/f, 28/m
My boyfriend has proven himself disloyal and dishonest. We have been trying to rebuild trust and have been trying to make things work.
He has fixed what he has done wrong before: he got deleted his dating apps/websites, removed random girls he has randomly added in the past, etc. And he has been giving me a lot of reassurance telling me that he's all mine, he's not seeing, dating, or talking to anyone else, he only wants me, and for the past two months he has not done anything that I would not approve of.
For those who doesn't know what snapchat is: I don't have it, but from what I have heard. It's where people can follow you and when that person is being followed posts a picture, it can send it to a list of people/everyone that is following you on snapchat. But the thing is, it's a picture app and you only have about 5-10 seconds to see it before the picture disappears.
I went through my boyfriend's phone (please don't judge me on that), and one of the apps that were opened was snapchat, and his ex-girlfriend's name was on it. Obviously, the picture was gone but I became suspicious on why he was looking at her picture or why she would even send one.
So, I asked if he used snapchat. He says that he hardly uses it, but he does use it to follow people on it. He said he has never received or sent any nudes and that the only time he uses it is when he would like to post pictures that he wouldn't on facebook such as food, travel pictures, etc. For some reason, I'm having a hard time believing him. He told me that he has not spoken to his ex-girlfriend since December (the last time we argued over him lying to me about telling her that he missed her) and that he has been completely over his ex since early January.
Do I have anything to worry about? Should I just let it go? How can I trust him again? How should I approach this situation if I should talk to him about this? (link)
|
It's normal that you have trouble trusting someone after they have betrayed your trust. It should have said when the time was of the last snapchat that she sent, if not, it was probably from a while ago. You could look into it some more? And ask some more about it? I personally don't see how you (anyone) could trust someone after they do something like that, but maybe he could be telling the truth. You should probably confront him about it if it really bothers you.
Hope this helps~
|
I have friends, but I'd like to have a lot more. I'd like to have as many as possible and to feel like I've made a difference in as many lives as I can. I just want to make an impact in people's lives and I want to be liked by a lot of people. I don't mean to sound desperate or needy or anything, I've just been inspired by one of my role models, a guy named Phil, to try to commit as many acts of kindness as I can, rather than stopping at being nice enough.
My question is about how to go about it. I want to do nice things for people without looking like I'm trying too hard, but how? Do I look for nice things to do? Should I do things like bring my classmates and coworkers cookies or coffee or something like that? Should I only do nice things when the opportunities to do so present themselves? How can I be more like Phil and be the best person I can be? (link)
|
I suggest you do things only when the opportunity comes up. If you do things like baking cookies randomly might seem like you're sucking up or something. But when it is Christmas or something, then go for it. You can also do secret acts like taping a dollar to a vending machine with a little note for people, or make a cut out of different little slips to take like ones that say "take what you need" and the slips will say "happiness" "forgiveness" stuff like that, if you've ever seen those.
Hope this helps~
|
|