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How to Be the Best Person I Can Be
I have friends, but I'd like to have a lot more. I'd like to have as many as possible and to feel like I've made a difference in as many lives as I can. I just want to make an impact in people's lives and I want to be liked by a lot of people. I don't mean to sound desperate or needy or anything, I've just been inspired by one of my role models, a guy named Phil, to try to commit as many acts of kindness as I can, rather than stopping at being nice enough.
My question is about how to go about it. I want to do nice things for people without looking like I'm trying too hard, but how? Do I look for nice things to do? Should I do things like bring my classmates and coworkers cookies or coffee or something like that? Should I only do nice things when the opportunities to do so present themselves? How can I be more like Phil and be the best person I can be?
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First of all, I highly commend you on wanting to be the best version of yourself possible. That is a really admirable quality. The issue for you may lie in the fact that your will to help others and desire to be liked by many may not always coincide.
For example, while a lot of people hold people like Jesus, Abraham Lincoln and, Martin Luther King Jr. in high esteem, these men where, and continue to be, hated by many. So much so in fact that that hatred lead to violent deaths for all of them.
I think you seem like a genuine person. So, the first thing is you have to figure out your priority here. I would hope that your priority is to be helpful to others as you say. If it indeed is, then being liked should be secondary.
Basically, if you approach it from a place of kindness and caring in your heart and not really worry about what you get back out of it in the form of whether or not people like you, you will not only come across as more genuine but also be more genuine. The specific things you do are not what matters so much as doing them genuinely. And in doing so, you'll be liked by people that will matter in your life. Don't worry about the rest.
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I agree, stick with just opportunities that come up. So the issue then becomes, being able to spot an opportunity to do random acts of kindness. While its a good idea to show kindness to people you do know, it has an even greater impact when that person is someone you don't know.
Examples, you let the person behind you in line for a cashier go in front of you because they're in a hurry and pressed for time or have less to purchase than you. Or someone is short on change for a purchase and you pull it out saying, I've got that for you. It could happen anywhere. On way walking home from somewhere you see an older person getting out of their car trying to carry as many bags of grocery to their front door as possible and you rush over and offer, here, let me help you carry those to your door. You witness someone dropping something of theirs and unaware, you do whatever you can to catch up with them and return it to them. Sometimes, all it takes is being willing to be a listening ear to someone you witness just had a boyfriend break up with them. Or offer to give a hug to someone who looks really depressed. Hugs actually do help in dealing with sadness or depression by raising their levels of feel good hormones. Do not be surprised to find many refuse your offers or help. In time you'll get better and better at it.
Heres a random act of kindness story that happened to my sister who was in a long time at the store and so starting talking with the lady infront of her in line. My sis is a widow with 4 kids at home, lives too far away from family for support and has one barely functioning car and no money to replace the washer that broke and couldn't be repaired over a year ago. Something the lady said made my sister mention that and the fact she was actually spending her last cash today to get the few items her family really needed. The woman offered to give her some cash and did so. However, once my sis left the store, the woman had enough time to think about doing something even better. the cash was needed indeed but the greater need was for a washer. SHe'd talked to her husband and they agreed to buy my sister a brand new washer if she could find her. She waited for my sister to exit the store and asked for her address and phone number stating her and her husband would order a brand new washer delivered to her home.
She of course broke down and cried. It's the people who are the most needy who will be the greatest best by any act of kindness, even if its not a financial one but just your service or help, like knowing the young couple with kids want to go out once in a while but right now can't afford a babysitter and you offer to watch the kids for free one night just to bless them. Good luck and God bless you dear.
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I suggest you do things only when the opportunity comes up. If you do things like baking cookies randomly might seem like you're sucking up or something. But when it is Christmas or something, then go for it. You can also do secret acts like taping a dollar to a vending machine with a little note for people, or make a cut out of different little slips to take like ones that say "take what you need" and the slips will say "happiness" "forgiveness" stuff like that, if you've ever seen those.
Hope this helps~
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