I'm 27/M/Canadian/ syndicated Film critic/Host/Producer/Journalism Graduate/Former advice counsellor and admin on Teenhelp.org and award winner on Teen Advice Online 1997-2000.
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Member Since: October 15, 2005
Answers: 118
Last Update: December 4, 2005
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14/f.....i just met a new friend named Kate..i've got to know her and she's really nice. she liked this one guy named Phil a few weeks ago but claims she doesn't like him anymore...but you she still sort of does u kno...1/10..anyways i sort of like him now(even though ive never talked to him really; i just think he's really cute). so would it be wrong to start liking him publicly??? and i dont really want to ask her if its ok b/c i am afraid it will ruin our friendship. what should i do??
and my second question is if i do end up liking him publically..how should i get started talking to him?? thanx
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Girls and hormones mean they changed their opinions of guys faster then they do their clothes. If she likes him watch out she may bite if you go after him. Then again either you like someone or you don't. Make flipping sure she does not like him an awful lot before moving in.
Now, the biggest issue here is there is no a private I like you or a public I like you. You have to like someone well enough to have them in all aspects of your life before you can let be known you want more.
This guy could be great or a creep or not interested. Learn the 411 on him before going further. He may just not like you or you may hate him. Being cute does not mean he is boyfriend material. Be cautious with your friend and him in general. Hope something works for you.
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My mother just recently died from lung cancer. She was just diagnosed on Sept. 15th of this year and she passed away on October 28th, 2005.
My boyfriend of several years had already told his spoiled rotten, self-centered, selfish daughter that she could have a Halloween party before the incident with my mother came up.
Instead of being here, supporting me, helping me make the needed arrangements and just being a shoulder to lean on, he decided it was more important to help out with his daughter's Halloween party, because everybody knows "Courtney" comes first....no matter what!
I think that's about as sorry as you can get. What do you think? (link)
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Hi,
Courtney is a little girl. She was promised something by her father. She is not going to understand what death of one's parents mean and why she cannot have her party. To a kid her age that is a big promise and when adults break promises to kids it is never a good thing.
Understand he cares for you, will help you but his hands are tied. Do not let your sorrow and anger be taken out on that little girl. Your mother would not want that. I am sorry for your loss and burden. I would suggest though to get the help of your father or another adult to lessen the work and grief.
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ok this is my problem.whenever am about to haave a confrotation or fighting with anyone,my heart starts beating really first and its not like am afraid of the person its just i hate drama happening to me and i hate fights.i just want it to stop but i dont know what to do.anyone out there please help me i cant stand it no more.
girl in despair (link)
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Hi,
It's adrenaline that causes your heart to race faster in anticipation of something. It will not hurt you though someone's fists might. Do not worry about stopping it naturally it does so on its own. You ought to worry about stopping confronations and avoiding fights. They hurt, adrenaline will not. It ceases when fear does in this case.
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I can't seem to get myself motivated to do my homework! I have a lot tonight, but I always just seem to think "I'll do it later. I'm having way more fun IMing my friend right now" Then "later" comes around, and I think the same thing. This cycle goes until like 8:00 when I have no choice to start my homework, but even then I get distracted. What can I do to perk up my assignments?
thx
Trinity (link)
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Let's put it in perspective here ten years from now will that conversation on IM matter? Will you have the amazing career you always wanted? A lot of people just do not have much of an education or chance in life of making more than enough to support one person. Your grades are very important as are your SAT scores to get into a good college and have a shot at an excellent career.
Just remember frittering time away on IM all night and handing in half-assed work brings your marks down and puts you farther away from achieving your goals.
Here is how I would do this successfully when you arrive from school fix a snack, beverage and sit down and do an hour of homework before dinner. Break for dinner and then do as much as you can by 8 p.m. Then watch TV or Im for an hour. Wrap up your homework before 10 and you will have the right balance between home work and fun. After all, all work no play makes for a dull girl/guy.
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ok well, i'm only 13 right, and i've been thinkin about sex,...alot, i'm still a virgin and everything but it's like a random thought that clouds my mind! it's so weird, and i dont even know what this means or anything,.... (link)
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You are a normal 13-year-old. Hormones have kicked in and you are curious and well horny to say the least here. Thoughts of sex cloud the male/female mind a lot and is nothing to be embarassed or worried about. It's called being a teenager incidentally ;)
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what are some well-known teen poetry magazines that I can submit my poems to? Can anybody give me a website or something?
Ill rate high.
Thanks. (link)
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First of all avoid poetry.com. Anyone can get published on there including those who cannot write a poem or know the definition of poem. I may sound harsh but my ex-friend had several on there and his english teachers and others told him he was not a writer.
Poetry.com takes your material, tells you about a book, then tries to sell this back to people at high prices. That is what we discovered anyone can get on their Web site, in the book, but they expect you to buy all kinds of things.
The best idea is to get in now with actual journalists willing to spend the time with you to make you a high quality poet and writer. I recommend you check out Teen Ink Magazine www.teenink.com and Young People's Press www.ypp.net if in Indiana try ypress.com
Search on Google for Teens and Journalism and you will find the right people to work with on your poetry and other writing. Try those three for starters I'll see if I can find more so write me a note later.
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about how long after someones death do they have their funeral? (link)
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That often depends on cause of death. Sometimes cause of death needs to be determined if someone suddenly died that was in good health, died at home and nobody knows why (if not old age), accident or murder. The coroner has to do their job and then release the body to the family for burial after doing all their reporting and tests.
Typically if a person died and the cause is known I have seen a funeral take place the next day by sunrise in the Jewish faith and or two days after the death. The reason being most people need to read the obituary to know someone has passed.
With murders, unexplainable deaths I have read of it being a week or two to a month because of evidence other details best left never posted here.
I am a journalist and yes have read a lot of stuff and or seen a lot about crime, death, how it all works with funerals. But anyhow, I hope this answer your question with not being morbid.
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i had two dreams of me getting raped. i it wat does it mean and wat should i do help me plez. (link)
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Dreams look pretty realistic don't they? A dream is a thought picture come to life in your subsconcious thinking. All it is is the picture of the one thing you truly have fear of. Like a nightmare the subconcious mind presents these thoughts and pictures to you at night. It all stems from fears, emotions, thoughts etc you have while awake.
A dream like this will not mean that an assualt is going to happen. It was just an ugly dream and you will be fine and I am pretty sure of that. I would trace back where your fears of rape started. Did someone do something in the past you supressed? You will be fine here and it's just a nightmare but based on fears you need to deal with.
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hey 16/f
so i finally got my mum to agree to let me have a party for my 17th next week!!
yay
but the problem is all ma best mates are gunna be there and also a few boys and heres my plans:
people arrive we get drunk whilst listening to loud music. HOW BORING :(
so has anyone got any good ideas on interseting things to do?
the guy i fancy is coming and i really want to get with him.
so what shall we all do besides getting drunk and dancing to music?
its in my house by the way, about 12/13 people are coming
thanks in advance xxx (link)
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It is illegal to get drunk at any party when 16 or 17. Why aren't your parents supervising? I wanted to point out first of all if any of your friends drive home sloshed without you knowing and do not arrive alive you are responsible as far as police are concerned.
This is a big area of concern if the police ever showed up because of a noise complaint and drugs and booze were in sight or smelled your ass gets charged too same thing if you went to a party and wer fond just being there.
Your party does not need booze or drugs to be a success and I think you know that. There are a lot of people out there that just do not drink and that is fine.
You might just want to hire a DJ or better yet a band you know for the evening and have them play. Creating a game that requires total participation ie a murder mystery game and tell them to arrive in costume might be good.
A Scavenger hunt would also be good with clues and maps if people can either walk to or drive too. Use your creativity here and just know that underage drinking does not have to be the main thrust of a party.
You don't have to get bored and drunk to have anywhere near a fun time. A mystery evening, a scavenger hunt etc can easily be done with 12-13 people having interest the whole night.
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What is a good birthday present to give to my boyfriend?? im all out all ideas (link)
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Has he been hinting at something you can afford at least? If so problem solved. If not read on. I find what works for most people is going out to dinner someplace nice that ordinarily you wouldn't. Then there is the do it yourself dinner kit. Dress up nice and surprise them with a hopefullu edible dinner and candlelight.
If there is a concert or play upcoming in your area that he would want tickets for try buying those. Everyone likes movies and getting in for free when they are charged $14 to get in. The gift certificate route for DVDs, books, movies always works. I am not big on getting chocolate but giving it to a guy may work.
The bottom line is the thought behind a gift not the actual gift itself. Go with your gut and your heart on what you think he would like. Not having met him I doubt any of us could give more advice than that.
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Ok. I am a shy person when i am in a crowd. Does anyone some excersizes to help that. Some people im comfortable with. Fives (link)
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I KNOW this works for a lot of people. You should try public speaking classes, student council, drama where you are forced to speak and get to know people. Think of it this way you are a smart young person and people want to know what you have to give. Just talk to them and forget everything else. It's just like talking to people you know.
Try taking a risk each day and sit with someone new at lunch and talk with them. None of these people will bite you. In fact they are probably wondering if you are approachable or not and are scared to come to you because they think you are avoiding them.
Short of talking with people there is not a whole lot you can do besides taking drama, extra-curricular, student council and other programs forcing you to get to know people. Don't be upset with this idea maybe seeing a therapist and trying to figure out why you cannot socialize easily would help. There's always something mental about this and perhaps other kids bullied and hurt you etc.
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My mobile phone is being really stupid, taking days to recieve messages and if I send a message it'll be at least an hour before the relevant person gets it. It is about 4 years old now so I'm assuming it's just that it's old, but could there be any other reason why it's doing thing? Everything else is working fine on it atm. (link)
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Hi,
The phone you have is outdated and likely no longer supported by the service provider. It does not make any sense that what was working right one day suddenly stops the next. Then again things can break or stop functioning if old. They build these things to last a year in hopes of making you buy a new one.
Having said this, I would phone up their technical support people and explain what is going on all of a sudden. They may be able to do some kind of tests on the unit and get it operating better. Maybe not. You do not have to pay for crappy service unless it is your phone that is dying a slow death here.
I recommend buying a pay as you go plan and phone that comes with it. It will save you money and the phone will be top noch. Hopefully you can do that or ask a parent about getting a reliable one because this one is not.
Also, be practical how much money do you want to spend on bills? The services you have like voice-mail, text-messages etc. are premiums. All you need is a phone that rings. You have one that does that as well as recieve calls. If people miss you than that's fine. You will always find them later. I am just saying keep your phone, get rid of the extras and save money is what I myself would do. That drives costs down considerably.
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Has anyone got any really FUN ideas of what we can do at Halloween if it rains so heavy we can't go out? We are 15 and 16 year olds but we're not up ourselves or obsessed with being 'cool'; we don't mind being a bit silly and childish! I'm thinking something scary as well though. Do NOT suggest movies because we'll do that at the sleepover part and do NOT say 'ooh have a party turn some music on and have a blast you're 16 gurl!' because a. that is patronising b. that is boring c. all my friends like different music and d. that has nothing to do with Halloween. (link)
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When I was younger it did not matter if it rained, snowed, had golf ball size hail or not nothing kept me from free candy. If you can pass at 16 for a 13-year-old all the more power to you because none of them share the candy anyways.
What seems to work well is decorating your house outside and spending some money to do so. Make the entrance dark with a canopy, get a device that plays creep music on a loop, grave yard on the front lawn and set the ambiance first.
Party wise is easy: You can rent a fog machine or buy one from a party store relatively cheap. Set this thing up in a dark basement, make ghosts that look real using masks and a little bit of talent to hang from support beams. Have different areas, stations etc.
Have people stick hands in boxes that have all sorts of slimy, weird things inside. That works. You can buy slithery things such as brains etc from a butcher shop.
If their are people who can drive at your party putting them in groups on a scavenger hunt would work especially if some of them do not know your area or streets well. I doubt you have money to hire a band but perhaos if friends are in one give them a chance with a gig.
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What exactly happens in the movie Hide and Seek? I want a fairly detailed and comprehensible answer (so anyone who wants to say 'wel dey hav a scari tyme n its rli rli CoOl lOl yu shud WaTcH iT OMG haha', don't bother answering) as I am a wimp and want to avoid nasty suprises. I'm watching it at Halloween and no I don't mind if you ruin the plot/movie/ending...that's the whole point of this question! :) (link)
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Deniro is trying to kill her and this leads to an anti-climatic ending of an otherwise suspenseful film which I do not recommend. I am pasting in my review of Hide and Seek for you. Perhaps after reading it you will go back and watch the film or perhaps not. I review films for a living. I deleted the last name on this.
Film & Disc Review, Hide and Seek
by Geoff
reviewed: 2005-07-05
Newly widowed psychologist David Calloway (Robert De Niro) is a desperate man who cannot connect with his severely traumatized daughter Emily (Dakota Fanning). It appears Emily cannot deal with her mother’s tragic death. Before long both David and Emily realize they are being terrorized by someone or something real or imaginary named Charlie. This friend of Fanning’s may or may not be imaginary but the amount of nightmares it intends on causing are vividly real.
It is evident when a movie has five separate endings that there is a problem. When Hide and Seek was released theatrically the last reel was noticeably absent with the studio wanting to shock audiences and critics with a finale that inevitably smells to heaven. The director is borrowing from every two star psychological thriller and ripping off the Shining for a brief moment. The film is unoriginal, over-produced and the script re-worked too many times by Ari Schlossberg to become unsalvageable
Polson is no M. Night Shyamalan but is desperate to have Hide and Seek resemble the brooding feel and suspense of one of his films. Shyamalan is a master at building suspense suckering the audience into becoming scared and paranoid but not showing you the very thing causing your fear until the last second and with exception of the Village never let us down with the ending.
The old saying goes imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. What they didn’t tell you is imitation falls flat when not carried out correctly by a writer who doesn’t know when to stop crafting scenes and a director who can’t decide what the film needs to become even in the editing bay.
For the first half of the movie Polson does successfully sucker people in with Shyamalan techniques and suspense but loses the audience in the last half hour with lazy, uninspired and predictable ending. Until that point audiences care who Charlie is and how young Dakota Fanning is connected to someone who is either imaginary, a serial predator, or product of dangerous delusions and mental disorder brought on by trauma from her mother’s tragic death.
If it were not for Dakota Fanning and Robert De Niro doing the best they could with a lame script and bad direction this movie would not be worth seeing.
The crafty veteran actor plays off of Fanning and sees how far she is willing to go in each scene helping him craft something that isn’t there on the page. While Fanning’s hair is dyed brown to resemble De Niro they don’t look as though they could be father and daughter. The hairstyle does help to give Fanning a sickly look and sunken features with which to build upon the character’s sullen behavior and suspected mental issues.
Truly disappointing lets hope the next time these two work together it is on a decent project. Until that happens someone please find Schlossberg’s word-processor and protect it from further abuse. The director also cannot use scary music effectively to build a story that just doesn’t come together.
Hide and Seek is not truly a movie. The film is a series of vignettes held together by a piece of tape. The directors and writers use every horror cliche borrowing heavily from hit movies in an attempt to keep the scotch tape holding up.
The Disc
Terrible movie, good cast, bad direction and special features just aren’t special.
Picture Quality: 6/10
The wide-screen disc comes in 2:40:1 anamorphic picture transfer. About the only thing good about Hide and Seek is the crisp colors and picture quality. The picture quality is crisp and sharp without colors fading or problems around the edges. The quality goes from bad to worse in dark and brooding scenes and is often fuzzy when it shouldn’t be. As in my previous review during these scenes it is like watching a VHS tape played everyday for years with the various grain problems.
Sound Quality: 8/10
Both the Dolby 5.1 sound and DTS tracks are presented fine and clear as a whistle. French and Spanish tracks are available along with English and Spanish subtitles.
Easter Eggs:
No Easter Eggs Found on Disc.
Extra Features: 5/10
The special features just aren’t that special. Audiences will clearly see that the director could not control his writer nor figure out how to make a good movie with four more endings equally as inane as the one in the finished version. Happy Drawing, Life With Katherine, One Final Game, and Emily's Fate are the titles for these endings. Do yourself a favor and turn off the optional commentary from the director that states what you already know and gives kudos to screening committees that dumped all over these choices for the final product. At least someone in the production learned something albeit too late.
The feature length audio commentary from Polson and Schlossberg is funny for all the wrong reasons. The pair admires the work they have done on the film and pat themselves on the back throughout. While they are entitled to love the movie you probably won’t enough to listen to them describe it for you as though it were a masterpiece which it is not.
The best part on this DVD are the 14 deleted scenes that didn’t make it into the final cut. Viewers can watch all 14 of them for 20 minutes in one stretch. Again they will crack you up for all the wrong reasons. The phrases “I didn’t know we shot this part.” “I don’t remember seeing this.” and” Why did we cut this scene?” certainly show where their heads were or were not at during filming. There also story boards to look at as well.
The Final Word:
Rent this title only if you want to see Dakota Fanning who is bound to become well-known for great performances such as War of The Worlds work with Robert De Niro. She helps him try to put some life into a script both can tell is bad.
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I've been with this guy for about 9 monthes now. we are not officially together because that is the way i want it. BUT we are exclusive and aren't supposed to be with other people.
I cheated on him friday night. This isn't the first time i did it, but i told him about the other times. After the last one, he told me if i cheated again then we'd be done.
Do you think i should tell him what i did? I really do like him a lot. I'm seeing him today and need advice asap.
thanks (link)
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I cannot tell you what to do here. If it were me and I made the mistake I would fess up as having blown it. It may be a good thing you are over with that relationship as it would only progress along the same path with more cheating and hurt feelings. Cut this guy lose already and find out what icecream or cake you want and stick to one guy.
Learn why you cheat if you never figure that out then relationships may be difficult with the same problems. My advice be honest as he deserves honesty and see what occurs.
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my boyfriend really wants to have sex...i think i love him and i really want to too. i am just so nervous...she i wait?or should i just go for it?protection? andy advice...?¿ (link)
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The rule of thumb here is if you ask am I ready and should I wait? is you are not ready. Those two questions are HUGE and if you still do not have an answer for them HOLD OFF. Sex is not something you need to worry about now. Tell him you love him but are not ready yet.
If he gives you any trouble about it give him the shove off. Never have sex on impluse either or rush in. You have a life-time to become sexually active. Now is not the time though. You will need protection when you do have sex it is the best way to avoid pregnancy and STDs.
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what is a good age to babysit and like how much should i charge per hour cause i am babysitting with a friend and we are going to split the money. about how long to the parents stay out for. thanks i rate high (link)
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The age seems to be 12-years-old these days. At age 12 you can do a course and get CPR training as a part of it. I think though that parents are looking for a mature, responsible individual first and foremost. If you are mature and responsible that is great.
They also look for references. Have you done this before? Having your friend along may be something some parents like. Others may not hire you because they do not want to pay two people to do the job one can handle. As far as how long they stay out for that's up to them. Also, think this through is splitting the money a good idea? There may be a squabble there especially after spending several hours with these kids you may want more than half or vice-versa when you see the work put in.
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O.K...
Tomorrow night, my parents want to go out for a night of fun... by themselves. I'm 13 and I can either watch my sister overnight or go to Chuck's house. He's a family friend but his kids do not like me and I do not like them. But Chuck really wants us to come over... he's had a tough year and he has been looking forward to this. We were going to bake cookies and everything but I don't know if I want to deal with their kids... what should I do... I really don't want to hurt him and I'm kind of scared to be with my sister ALL night by ourselves... since our house got robbed last year... I have no clue what to do!!! Please help. I also don't want to put up with the mean things his kids say to me! But Chuck is really nice and his wife died this year, his mom died this year, and his dog died this year! His dog died while trying to climb a fence and her collar got caught on the fence and she hung. His wife died of cancer and she was only forty years of age. And his mom died of old age! I feel bad for his kids that they lost their mom but don't know if I should go over there and... DEAL WITH THEM! It would also be overnight... and the oldest son, Corey, has a crush on me and I don't think I want to sleep in the same room as his but the youngest son, Chuckie, gets on my nerves. I doubt he'll be thatway way around his dad but... I don't know! PLEASE HELP! (link)
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This sounds made up so you will have to excuse me on that. The reason? How can one person have all that bad fortune in a year? I will answer this as though it unfolded like you said.
This man's bad luck or string of it is not your problem. You should be kind and sympathetic but beyond that you owe him nor his kids anything at all. This is an invitation for you to go somewhere and you get the decision of going or not.
Will he feel upset you did not go? No. Will his son Chuckie feel angry or disapointed? Maybe Chuckie will. But again you owe them nothing and have the right to make your own mind up.
If you would rather babysit your sister than do that and tell them your parents want you to babysit and say you regret you cannot make it. It seems though you are too scared to be home alone for good reason. I would think staying with them would be a good option.
Say this to him "I am happy to join you. I do have a concern though about your kids not treating me fairly. I would like it if you talk to them. Other than that I am happy to go." Odds are he has no idea how they treat you when he is not around.
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i am a level 1 moderator and have been on this site for just a bit past year now. i really want to become a level 2 moderator, but havent been asked yet. i try to rate as many questions every day as i can and answer alot as well. i would like to know, about how often do they need a need level 2? and when was the last time they got a new one? (if anyone knows) thnks
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I am posting what Dangernerd has in the FAQ it's not just based on length of time here but the fact not everyone needs to be one right now. They have 10 and do not require more from what this says.
QUOTED FAQ
Since level II moderators can do a lot, we try to only have 10 or so at a time. If one dies, we promote a new one. To pick the new one, we look at who among the level I mods has been here the longest, then we look at their advice column, how they've rated questions, the whole bit. Since level II mods have to approve and rate every question, we only pick people who rate questions like crazy. We also only pick people who've been here a really long time, because we need to know you've got some staying power on the site.
Unlike the level I job, level II isn't something you get automatically for being your cool self, we have to need more level II mods for someone to become one. So if you don't get to be one, you shouldn't be upset.
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My friend Chelsea is on Birth Control and she always has something wrong with her. such as bad headaches,cramps, and a few times shes had to switch medicine because of the side effects and go to the hospital. and she said something the other day like. I wish i never started these things. I have been thinking about getting on BC so that way i would know when my period is coming and such (im 15) but i was just wondering is birth control that bad with everyone? Because if so im scared to get on it. (link)
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I can see how this scares you. You do not know everything about her illness and symptoms. They may be related to birth control and may not. You are both two exactly different people internally and genetically. If she is having that kind of trouble she needs a good doctor.
As for you fear not millions of people are on birth control and they aren't all suffering like your friend. Be well researched on the brands and side-effects though before trying anything.
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