Hey everyone, I have been giving advice on this site since I was 16 and have always been honest with the askee. I just feel that there is no point in lying as I would hate to be lied too and thats why I always tell it like it is. I also feel that when people lie - it causes more hurt than good. Anyone after honest advice - feel free to send me a question!!
Also if you EVER need additional advice just send me an email and I will get back to you :)
Dxxxxxxx
Website: debateists space
E-mail: debateist@outlook.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Writer
Age: 24
Member Since: December 20, 2006
Answers: 142
Last Update: May 7, 2014
Visitors: 11739
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I'm 15.
and boyfriendless.
and it sucks.
so i was talking to my friend Amelia, and she says i don't flirt with guys enough. all of my friends are guys, I'm really feminine, but i have a lot of guy friends, and i tend to act... not flirty? i guess.
ugh, idk. i guess i'm asking, if theres anything i can do to to flirt more/ be more confident?
don't laugh, this is my first post. (link)
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honey I have been bfless for longer than I can remember so its not lame but I do agree it does suck.
You dont need to flirt but what you could do is if you like a guy start a convo on idn football/soccer or somethin that he likes maby even start small like his fave film or actor also speak to your guy mates and ask if they have any advice for you on this. The best thing to do on my advice is speak to guys like they're a mate and see where it goes from there don't think you need to act like a slut to get the guy, they're more interested in you as a person other than how good you can flirt.
Good luck and hopefully you get the confidence to find that guy that youre meant to be with.
luv dxxx
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me and this kid hooked up and we've kept in touch. we really like eachother .. well i really like him and he says he likes me and ive heard hes something of a player, but thats not my problem. he has a drug alcohol and ciggerate problem. He said he was getting sober just for me. hes really important to me. Hes gettin off of drugs, but going thro really bad withdrawels and i dont live near by so its not even like i can run to his house and help him. Hes also getting off alchohol and he says that he needs his ciggs right now to help him get through all of this. The only thing is i havent talked to him in 3 days. He hasn't been home and he hasnt been online. Im really worried. I dont know what to do. He cant go thro this alone, but neither can i. I wood really like to talk to someone whoes been thro this to talk to. Please, anyone. (link)
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i am going through sumthin similar at the mo and let me just say that if you dont hear from him in a few days then you probably wont hear from him again. soz this is the truth and although you prob dont wana hear this i'd say move on if he cant phone or txt you when he will know you are worried about him whether hes ill or not then ad say drop him cause you cant live your life like that.
soz if you are insulted or angry by my answer but I like to be as straight as pos with poeple.
hope i helped and that you find the right person soon.
luv dxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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ok well i think my best friend might like me back cuz i like him but i havent told him. i assume hes probably figured it out by now but maybe he hasnt. today i was sitting next to me and he kept playing with my hands and stuff. and then later i was walking right next to him and all of a sudden he just grabbed my hand and was holding it, fingers laced and all. and then he was all like "im just holding ur hand for no reason?" and i was like ok and then he let go but he was holding it for like 10 seconds. he always says no whenever people ask if he likes me. so maybe this is all my imagination. he is like my best friend though. and i want to kiss him really really badly. i wish he would kiss me grrr. should i kiss him on the cheek randomly when its just the two of us? maybe it would be awkward. im not sure but ive been thinking about it. maybe even tomorrow i can try it? help please. and thank you oh so much =) (link)
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howdy
whatever you do dont kiss him just now however you could maybe cuddle him but not obv a hug bear hug just a nice friendly quick hug and if he asks what your doing just answer him the same way as he has you about hand holding "no reason etc.
I hope that either way you find your prince charming.
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female- 14 years old.
i'm guessing this will sound annoying to those more soffisticated than i. and it's longer than i intended it to be. just to warn you.
Basically I want opinions on what I should do about this little crush that i keep fighting.
i know i shouldn't fight my feelings but he has a girlfriend and i'm friends with her. she's actually planning on breaking up with him soon though, and i'm 95% sure that he knows shes going to dump him and doesn't really care.
i sit near him in one class and we always end up flirting the entire time (which apparently he doesn't do much of with anyone else). he doesn't say anything extremely sexual either, just adorably flirty [not common among 14 year old boys.] it's all just light and cute and sweet and things like doodling pictures on eachother's notebooks, talking about life, etc. my friend says that when i'm not looking he's always staring at me "in the CUTEST way". haha i guess what i'm trying to say is the boy's just all around adorable. and he's not a player at all, and he so could be if he wanted to. my best guy friend (who's fairly protective of me)said that my crush is a genuinely nice guy, and he would approve if i wanted to date him.
i hadn't really thought about dating him until my bff said that.
well, i mean, i had... but like i put it out of my mind until that point.
so that got me thinking. what would it be like to date my crush?
and after playing out the scenario in my head over and over again, i admitted to myself that i really do like this guy. a lot.
and i think he feels the same way.
BUUT back to the girlfriend issue. that would be awkward even after they broke up. and i know i can't let myself become the rebound, and i won't.. i just really do want to be with him. and it scares me because i have MAJOR trust issues, and my past relationships weren't so great.
efdg-shipnkjbpfdgs9hci
ok that was probably more than you needed to know, but that's what is going through my head and it would make me feel so much better to get some clear, blunt opinions and/or advice. i really don't know where to go from here.
i should probably wait out their relationship though, right? before i let it be known that i kinda like him..
i've been down on love for a while now, and i'm scared that by getting my hopes up that there could be decent guys at my school, i'm falling too fast. (falling for him.)
thanks to anyone who took the time to read my little rant (:
i'll appreciate any advice very much!
thanks again!!!! (link)
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Howdy honey
I agree with the other columnist and I think that waiting until theyre separated is the right thing to do around (and i know that this will feel like an eternity)three months should do the trick but you will as loyalty to your friend obv have to tell her that your gonna ask him out like the day before so she is prepared and doesnt throw a fit.
good luk and from a girl who was in your situation but didnt dive in so to speak hope all goes well and that you live happy ever after or at least for a year or two anyway lol.
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I'm 15 first of all. I'm always paranoid. always think everyone hates me. I've been so quiet, and so like "to myself". Which is extremely unusual, I'm usually the loudest hyperest and most ADD kid. I feel like I'm losing all my friends. I can't stand my mom, I hate her and wont talk to her about anything, she is why i always feel as though while everyone is out there living life to the fullest, i'm not aloud to live but only to exist. This feeling of depression has gotten me from straight A's to D's. It feels like things can't get any worse and that's why i have no motivation. I never let out my feelings though. I dont let my friends or family know somethings wrong. (well i can't talk about that with my family) but myfriends anyways. I never cry in public, I keep my business to myself. So it always feels like theres a fucking tornado of feelings and emotions crammed up inside me, with no one to talk to. I can't even let it out to my very best friend. We're really close, she doesn't go to my school or live in my city, but she's the other half of me. Without her, I would completely go insane. Well anyways, what can help me feel better? (link)
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I no this is probably what a million other people will say but I say that you need to talk to someone not your mum I mean I no that that wud b major uncomfortable. But begin with your friend at least then you will at least feel a little better. If you dont feel like you could do this then I would recomend getting into a sport like boxing cause trust me theres nothing like punching the hell outta sumthin to make you feel better. Your private I get that so going to see a phsycologist is totally outta the question but the cryin thing is a little unhealthy this will b makin you feel even more lousy trust me im the same. So what you should do is get out a sad movie like "A Walk to remember" or any film that makes you sad and have a good cry this way if your parents come into the room and see you cryin you can blame it on the film.
My only motivation for passing school and college is the fact that my goal is to get as far away from here as possible so I reecommend thinkin about where you wanna find ur self in five/six years time and aimin for it.
Where your mum is concerned we all feel that way sumtimes trust me but I hope that things get better with that situation.
Finally, no one hates you I personally dont no you but what I do no is that I also feel this way and due to this I ended up losing all of my friends from h/s. Also dont go on pills anti depressants only make your mood worse trust me.
Good luk soz it was long, hope I covered everything.
Feel better soon.
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Okay; so i'm Bi, ive known this for a whille now.
i finally told my mom about it. she didn't really say much. but i've ALWAYS hung out w/ Lesbians & Bisexuals. but now she thinks it's a big deal [now that she knows i like girls too].
what the hell.
what should i do/say to her? (link)
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All parents that find this out for the first time are gonna be shocked and that is understandable but I think that the main thing that shes scared of is not what its gonna do to her rep or how shes seen but shes worried about how this is gonna effect you so what you need to do is sit her down and explain that you no how worried she is and let her no your still the same person and that you still love her.
Soz i I havent helped much but hope I did if only a little.
Good luk
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I've been watching my weight & what I eat since september. I'm doing ok, could probably be better. Either every other day or every few days, I'll eat a dessert just so I don't ruin my diet. I'll either eat a small piece of pie or 2 cookies or something & on the weekends I'll go out to eat but just watch what I eat. Lets say were having pizza, I'll just take one or two pieces & eat smaller throughout the day. I still exercise 3-4 times a week by running. Is it ok to eat some dessert/junk food as long as you keep it to a minimum? I thought it would be a good idea just so I don't totally ruin my diet by not eating any of that stuff & then binging out. Any ideas? Thanks! (link)
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If you try and keep it to a minimum as you have been doing then it should be fine although a few years back I did lose a lot of weight even although my gran and I were watching our weight and eating before six which according to my mum is what your supposed to do on a diet and then at night we would have one bar of chocolate each and as I say we lost more weight this way than when we were on a strict diet.
Good luck with your diet and your excercising also you could try swiming aerobics this is also a good way to get your muscles pumping and you can actually feel it too.
hope I helped.
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I really hate my life but my friends hold me back not my family because well my family sucks. My friends love me more then my family. I haven't cut because im not some worthless piece of crap.But i have had millions of thoughts about death or killing myself. Im wondering will they even care if im gone? My parents barely reconize me now so whats the point? I told my love one these suicidal thoughts and he yelled at me making me more depressed. I cried for 4 hours straight and I even told him. He likes me alot and he said he would jump infront of a bullet for me. I was recently in the hospital my best friend since 2nd grade (14/f now) died in my arms im now emotionally unstable. Anywho my love one yelled at me and said he needs a week off. Its been more then a week and i sent 2 apology letters he has yet to right me back. I haven't smiled ever since the accident which was April 2nd 2007. I have no emotions but sadness. My sister is majo worried about me and i can't handle it. What should i do to help myself smile? And how will i get my love one to talk to me!? Thank you. (link)
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Honey I am so sorry that you feel this way but it is understandable considering what happened only a mere two weeks ago. I could tell you that you are a terrible person blah blah blah and that its not normal but honey it so is and you so arent. I dont think you have really given yourself time to grieve just yet and truth be told you will prob always be sad inside but you will also given time come to terms with it and be able to smile even if it is just for a couple minutes I am going through an almost identical situation to you and it still kills me that I couldnt save that person even a year later and yeah I do have bad thoughts but I make sure that I try and enjoy myself. What can you do to help yourself smile? Cry ! when your alone so you dont feel embarrassed and dont stop until you feel a little better dont try pills they alter your mood to breaking point literally. Also now this will sound crazy but talk to her when you are sitting in your room alone or doin something you would normally do with her and this will make you smile if not at first than in time as you realise that although shes not there in body she is still there in a sence this is what I do and it calms my thoughts and fears. As for your love give him time and he should come around he is probably just feeling a little low himself nowing how you feel and that there is nothing he can do.
Good luk with your love and how you are feeling I hope I helped and if I havent then I hope that you can one day smile and realise although its hard that life no matter how tough is worth living:-)
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What are some good songs to play at a wedding? (link)
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beautiful-James Blunt
Dancin where the stars go blue- tyler hilton feat bethany joy lenz
soz am not very good at this but you could also try watchin the Weddin planner which mentions a few
hope I helped
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heyy everyone! firstly, im 13, female, from Australia.
well, i have a HUGE crush on a guy in my court! and i mean HUGE! but not big enough to be obsesed. we are already friends. i dont talk to him much, but i did not that long ago. i was so sad when my friend told me he was moving schools. and then i was even MORE sad when i heard he was moving HOUSES!!! noooo! i am so sad, i dont want him to leave, because i will never see him again. I am a shy girl and i have never had a boyfriend, or even Kissed a guy ([ i know so embarassing :( ...) so i am way to embarassed to even talk to him that much. I was just going to ask everyone for advice if i should ask for him new phone number or house adress or both. because i really dont want to lo
se contact with him, because he is such a great guy. Also i cant tell if he was flirting or not. But the other day when we were talking and he was kicking the footy with his mate, he tried doing this trick with the footy that was hard, and he stuffed it up big time, (but i didnt care coz he is the best anywayz) and i saw him blush a little. i cant tell if he was flirting, because NO ONE has EVER flirted with me, or asked me out EVER!! sooo anyway, please answer my question if i should ask for his new number. or adress. or both.
SORRY THIS WAS SOOO LONG!!! and THANX for the advice!
-natalieeee (link)
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Even if you dont tell him how you feel he knows that you are friends so he wont mind if you ask him for both his numba and adress. Plus this way maybe a few months (or hopefully not but years) down the line he may ask you out or you may find the courage to ask him which I know is so embarrassing. Either way you can still keep in contact with him without him knowing how you feel for now (anyway).
Hope I helped and good luk for the future in all aspects and I hope that one day the shyness disappears as I know how it feels to be in your situation.
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my mom and i used to get along but now not much at all. if we ever do talk we start yelling. she just has no idea about my life and if i try to tell her she just starts yelling if i say can i talk to you without yelling she says well your being a btch. now im just leaving her out and she just wont get over it so what ever i do what ever i try she gets mad and starts goin off on me. im the ?/goth im trying to get away from being gothic. my family mainly my mom and my cousins all hate it about me now. but i like being gothic i like the style i like the people it makes me feel better about myself. but im startin to try and go normal because what ever i do im wrong what ever i say or i do or who my friends are or what i wear or listen to or who i talk to or how i act its always wrong in her eyes. im always getting yelled at or grounded or with my friends. so i wana change because i think it might save me but i just like gothic its who i am its the only thing other than my gothic friends that make me happy. ive been trying to change my personality all for my mom and i get grounded what is wrong with my life. i get xtremely mad and just am starting to lash out but my family just says im grounded. grounding me every day at least a few times even though im already grounded. i hate my life i have no confidence i do nothing right ever in my hole life. but im afraid im gona run away(id rather) or kill myself. i will. my friends even are surprised im still living and still home. i only get to see them at school but thier my life. all my friends are deppressed but even with their problems they try to help me. i love them i will die if i lose any of them. ive already lost 3 bffs in my group to suicide and abuse. they think id be next they do every thing to keep me here and alive they say theyd all run away with me. i will soon. before i die. i get grounded so much in a day so i just stay in my room all day on my cell phone(my mom has no idea about)i got which i pay for through a friend. its either that so i can have one thing in my life or die. if any help im a fucked up catholic school girl thats just turned 13 and female. i need help in advice. how do i fix my life! how do i get my mom to shut up for a sec to even tell her anything! how am i still here whats even keeping me here! isnt it stupid to get grounded atleast 6 times a day even though im already grounded! my friends risk their lives to give me a chance in life over and over again daily what could i do for them. should i run away with my friends. and please help me with anything else i forgot and any toughts about my messed up life. (link)
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hey I think and dont take this the wrong way but I think that if you are a member you should look up the question 13yr old daughter I think that this may give you some insight into your question.
soz if it doesnt
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my daughter is 13 is she to young to get caught by me kiss with a guy but hes her best friend. shes never had a boyfriend. also she cusses and flips people off and just talks with her friends about sex humping and rapeing just perverted. shes just turned 13 shes shy and gothic which i hate it what should i do for her and all that stuff should she be doing. (link)
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I think that the question on the right called "my friends (id die for)my life my mom" I think that it would be huge help.
good luk with your daughter I hope all works out.
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I met this boy through an organization a few weeks ago. He goes to a different school, and is about 3 years older than me. He's a senior, and I am a sophomore (he's 18, and I'm 15).
Anyway, we've been texting a lot and he randomly told me that he liked one of my friends. This friend is now pretty much in a relationship. I called her and asked her, point-blank. She is leading this boy that I met on.
I was this boy's crutch through a really tough breakup with his ex of almost 2 years. I like him a lot, and I don't want to see him get hurt again, at least not until his heart has healed.
Should I tell him that this girl is leading him on, or should I let him find out for himself?
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You are in a bit of a jam arent you ? on one hand you have the loyalty of your girl friend and on the other you have the loyalty of your guy friend. I think wot you should do is tell the girl that if she doesnt tell him then you will just explain that as much as shes your friend you dont want him to get hurt.
This way as much as she may b a little pissed at you for telling him if she doesnt you can remind her that were she in your situation then she would have probably done the same and that way you will have given her the choice.
Hope I helped and that all works out well.
good luk
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i have this talent show coming up and im like an alto.. well i can sing a little higher than that, too. um i have no idea what song to sing! i have to make a video of myself singing for the auditions, which im going to make tomorrow, and i still need to pick a song! please do not say "fallin" by alicia keys. anyways, other songs i've considered have been:
bang bang - nancy sinatra (i want a more lively song)
band of gold - freda payne (i like this one, but i dunno if i should sing that)
heaven - los lonely boys (some parts are too low for my liking)
downtown - petula clark (a little too high sometimes, but i can sing it.. idk if i should do this, either)
fly like a bird - mariah carey (too high sometimes!)
deja vu - beyonce (i can sing this.. but i dont like how i sing it. its high but somehow i can get the notes. like a diff kind of high. also its too long.)
smile - charlie chaplin (too short and too high sometimes)
as you see, i really want it to show off my voice too, not be too long or too short, blah blah blah.
thanks for the advice! lol mainly im looking for songs i should pick! ♥ (link)
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Im am a little clueless on this but ill give it a go
wot about Beyonce - to the left
Mariah Carey- we belong together
These are all I can think 0f sorry its such short notice Good luk hope i helped and that im not too late
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I have bff's and were super close and we don't like to even talk to people outside of our group (when u give advice I don't need "Grow up who does groups any more") but everyone's seat was changed in our one class and I sit next to one gurl:she okay to me were okay friends one other gurl:we HATE each other I tried being friends but she said no so now I act like a b**** to her one other other gurl: she's friends with the gurl who hates me so now she doesnt like me I just want some peace in my one class so I can just do my work.
With Love,
Massie (link)
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hey im at college and if people dont do groups then id love to no where lol the only advice i can give you is to ignore it i had this problem with litrally my whole class in high school and after the class was over the good thing i could always fall back on was that i could meet up with my friends. Ignoring them will be hard at first but in time youll get used to it you may have to talk obv if you are doing groups but at least after that you can go on ignoring her.
hope i helped and good luk with everything.
yours dxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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this boy, hes 12. and im 13/F (duh) but i dont mind that hes younger. So, we had this flirting thing going on where we basically acted like we were going out, exept only through text. I dont have any classes with him, but hes in my grade. hes almost always hanging out by his locker, not talking to anybody but theres like guys a few lockers down. so do i just go stand next to his locker and talk to him? is that wierd? if yes, i can get up the courage to talk to him easy, but what exactly do isay? like i know the hey, oh how was the so and so test, because we have the same classes but at different times. Just i dont know what to say. when im texting him, i run out of things to bring up. when were in person, with a lot of people we never stop talking but when its just us on AIM or anything it just gets so wierd. so any topics to bring up. it could be random things like "i love pizza" lol or would that be wierd? i just need opinions thank you so so so much!! (link)
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Go for it girl lol! you go and stand beside him of course you do things to talk about are whats his fave band what sports hes into tv programs or films he likes fave actors /actresses and that way you can find out if you have bands or programs in common which is always a good thing to talk about because they convos can go on for ever and this way you dont have to just talk about pizza unless you wanna b random which my friends and i sometimes do but i would say no to this and if you run out of things to say then just tell him youll talk to him later or start talkin about new bands or films that are out that you think he may like if you know of any.
good luk and i hope i have helped even if in just a small way.
yours dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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hey i was just wondering.
ive been in my relationship for about 9 months now, and the calling and texting has slowed right up.. ive told him that i dont think he calls me enough and in response he said that he doesnt want to feel like he has to call me.. which is fair enough.. but is this just a guy thing with not texting much.. he said hes not a texter, which is good, but he could at least call me more. is twice a week to little, considering i only see him once or twice a week.
hes gone away fishing for a few weeks, and the calling has narrowed down to once a week maybe twice, does this mean he wants to end it by avoiding me or is it just he doesnt like calling much or something?
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Well honey only he can tell you wether he wants to end it or not but my best friend calls me every night and for him being your boyfriend and not to at least try and call or txt to check how you are doesnt say much. Guy thing or no guy thing any guy will tell you that if he really likes a girl then hes gonna txt or call wether people say hes whipped or whatever it is guys say to each other these days. I think what you should both do is when he gets back from his trip come up with a plan like he can call one night and you the other give it a couple months and that way you will no that if he tries his best to do this then hes worth it if not then id consider sitting down and asking why it is he doesnt call and having a think about wether he is really worth all this worrying that your doing.
good luk and I hope that you can both work something out or that you at least find happiness.
Hope I helped and wasnt a bitch.
yours dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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what are good beach-ish vacation spots? this summer i want to go somewhere different and really nice. don't say like hawaii or something, and not florida i've been too many times. i have beaches at home, but they get pretty boring. i was thinking like virginia or myrtle beach or something? has anyone been? what's there to do? how was it?
thankss (link)
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I haven't been to any of these but I have heard good things about crete and corfu or even greece in general sorry I am not much help but I hope you enjoy your holiday and that you get a good tan.
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ps sorry about the bad spelling lol
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this boy asked me out to the movies. i said i couldent go because my mom wont let me go to the mall with boys. thats 100% true. So we've been talking thro texts (we go to diff. skools) and my bff is IMing his BFF and his BFF says that He has a sorta-gf. hes not the flirty type, but i am. so he knows that i like him because i told him. he didnt really answer. i think maybe hes shy or un-comftorble with all this. ive had bfs before, he hasnt had a gf. i love that about him. i dont want him to flirt with me, and ill stop if he wants me to but i dont know if he wants me to or not. just asking him flat out dosent work, he sort of avoids the subject. like i asked him if he had a gf because my friend said that he did and he sais " hoos ur friend" and i explain to him hoo my friend is and he says "do u have a bf?" so i told him that no, i didnt because i dont like anybody at my school and he says "I like somebody 4 a wile i talk 2 about this l8tr gd nite" and so now, im think he likes a girl from his school, which i could handle, but i need him to be honest with me and not aviod the subject. how do i get some real information out of him? i mean, how do i get him to be straight up with me and tell me if he dosent like me anymore? (link)
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txt him and ask him too meet up with you then just sit down face to face this is defo a f2f situation if this isnt poss then phone him and just explain to him that if he likes another girl then all he has to do is say so and that you wont be hurt by it. But if he still changes the subject then I guess the only thing you can do up the flirtage and hope the he finally gets the courage to tell you how he feels.
Good luck
I hope my advice helps even if it was pretty basic
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how do i get into acting whats the frst thing to do? where do i get agents? (link)
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The first thing you have to do is get into an acting class from there you can go to sites like star now.com which has tons of details on up and coming auditions although if you are really serious about acting you would really have to move to LA or NYC where they have the best jobs and there should be plenty of agents out there who could help you in the yellow pages or in the papers in America.
hope I have helped you if only in a small way and if this advice is useless and you already live in the above and have tried everything then I apologise and wish you all the luck with acting in the future and I will leave you with one thought which I believe to be true-"WHAT IS FOR YOU WONT GO BY YOU!"
good luck
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