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i feel depressed.
I'm 15 first of all. I'm always paranoid. always think everyone hates me. I've been so quiet, and so like "to myself". Which is extremely unusual, I'm usually the loudest hyperest and most ADD kid. I feel like I'm losing all my friends. I can't stand my mom, I hate her and wont talk to her about anything, she is why i always feel as though while everyone is out there living life to the fullest, i'm not aloud to live but only to exist. This feeling of depression has gotten me from straight A's to D's. It feels like things can't get any worse and that's why i have no motivation. I never let out my feelings though. I dont let my friends or family know somethings wrong. (well i can't talk about that with my family) but myfriends anyways. I never cry in public, I keep my business to myself. So it always feels like theres a fucking tornado of feelings and emotions crammed up inside me, with no one to talk to. I can't even let it out to my very best friend. We're really close, she doesn't go to my school or live in my city, but she's the other half of me. Without her, I would completely go insane. Well anyways, what can help me feel better?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
No matter what anyone says, talking always helps you. ALWAYS.
Why is it that you hate your mom? What has she ever done to make your life so horrible? Has she kept you in the house or not allowed you to go out with some friends? Whatever it may be, that is between you & your mother, and the best thing to do is to talk it out. No matter how much you hate each other. I mean, I'm not sure how you could hate the woman that gave you life, but maybe try to overcome these things with her. You're gonna realize when you get older that your mother can be your best friend & that everything she told you & taught you was gonna work out in the end, and it was never a lie.
For paranoia, that's a disorder so you need to see a doctor to get on meds to treat it. Without any type of help from a doctor, these feelings will only get worse & they'll drive you insane. So seeing a doctor is definitely a good idea.
If you can't talk to your family, your friends, or even your best friend, who can you talk to? Maybe a counselor? If that doesn't work, you can always talk to me. I'm not sure who you are & I know nothing about you, but I can try to help you as best I can. All of my information is on my column if you'd like further help.
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I'm not going to tell you that I understand how you feel, because only you know how you really feel. But I can say that I used to be the same way. I would keep to myself and rush through the day to get home, when I'd get home I wouldn't talk to anyone, I didn't care for anything anymore. I didn't understnad why I should put effort into anything I did when it felt like no one would even care. I would hold everything in as much as I could and then once everyone in the house was asleep, I would cry my eyes out. Unlike you, I didn't even say anything to my best friend, I was afraid she's be somewhat disappointed in me. But eventually it got to the point where I couldn't hold it in, my emotions went completely off balance and the worst part was that I knew everyone knew. So what I did was I decided to just talk to my counselor at school and she helped alot, then she told me a bunch of different ways to bring it up with my parents and what to say to them, and even offered to tell them if I was to afraid. After that I went to a number of different appointments, and I feel so much better now, I feel better than I have in the past 3 years of my life. Talk to someone who you know won't pass judgement on you and just try to talk to your parents about how you feel, talking about it will help, trust me.
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I no this is probably what a million other people will say but I say that you need to talk to someone not your mum I mean I no that that wud b major uncomfortable. But begin with your friend at least then you will at least feel a little better. If you dont feel like you could do this then I would recomend getting into a sport like boxing cause trust me theres nothing like punching the hell outta sumthin to make you feel better. Your private I get that so going to see a phsycologist is totally outta the question but the cryin thing is a little unhealthy this will b makin you feel even more lousy trust me im the same. So what you should do is get out a sad movie like "A Walk to remember" or any film that makes you sad and have a good cry this way if your parents come into the room and see you cryin you can blame it on the film.
My only motivation for passing school and college is the fact that my goal is to get as far away from here as possible so I reecommend thinkin about where you wanna find ur self in five/six years time and aimin for it.
Where your mum is concerned we all feel that way sumtimes trust me but I hope that things get better with that situation.
Finally, no one hates you I personally dont no you but what I do no is that I also feel this way and due to this I ended up losing all of my friends from h/s. Also dont go on pills anti depressants only make your mood worse trust me.
Good luk soz it was long, hope I covered everything.
Feel better soon.
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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