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Hi! I will answer any of your questions or problems, big or small and in complete confidence. I have had a lot of success in helping people in the past and hope I can help you too! Look forward to hearing from you soon!
Gender: Female
Member Since: December 8, 2004
Answers: 293
Last Update: June 12, 2005
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hailebop
ok, after everytime i masterbate, i feel really, really guilty...i wounder what my girlfriend would say if she had found out, i feel like it is a complete sin, and after everytime i do that, i feel that God punishes me, but he doesnt seem to punish other people i know do it... what should i think? is it ok, or should i try to stop?? HELP!! (link)
What you have to understand is that every guy masturbates- you are not the only one and it is not wrong. You don't have to tell your girlfriend if you don't want to and as long as you keep it private she won't find out.


Im 13/f and I like this guy in my class in my school, but hes a grade older than me. How can I get him to ask me out without doing the whole "be yourself" thing, because I did it and it didnt work.

P.S. Im NOT going 2 forget him for him not noticing the be yourself thing!!! (link)
The best thing for you to do is not show him that you fancy him. By being at the right place at the right time can make all the difference. If he is in the library working, go in there and sit near him but pretend you haven't noticed him. Have you got any friends who know him and can introduce you to him? If so you should see if they can say cool things about you infront of him when you aren't there and things like that. The best thing is to get to know him first but you can also do a bit of detective work and find out the things he likes, where he hangs out etc.. It will be easier to talk to him if you have something in common and to talk about. I hope I have helped a little


i didnt know what catorgory to put his under but my brother is 17 and has done the following

> stole my moms bank card n stoel all of her money out of her account
> stole money out of her purse many times
>stole the truck while not having a liscense and wrecked it
> ran up paperview bills and cellphone bill and jsut doesnt care
my mom didnt press necharges and now she had kicked him out of the house but hes only 17 so the family he went to called the cops and the cops told my mom to wait til hes 18 and kick him out my brother has stoel from my mom again and has began stealing from me but lies about it i think she should be punished for his actions and should get sent to jail or somewhere he needs to go somewhere and i need help of what to do and i need it fats before he steals again and he has threated to break my stuff and he acts like he is going to hit me and says i wanna hit you so bad and he threw a book at me but my mom is juss waiting till he turns 18 like the cops said but i think something should be done and my mom isnt helping shes judt waitin a month till he turns 18 but i cant wait he could do something rong to my stuff or me!
(link)
You have to realise that he cannot do this to you. At the moment he thinks he can get away with everything he is doing wrong. He shouldn't be threatening you or stealing - everyone knows this is wrong. If you are scared to be at home is there any way you can go and stay with a friend for a bit? Also, a friend of mine had this problem with her brother and what her and her mum did was to put everything he could steal like money, bank cards, car keys etc into their rooms and get keys cut for your room and hers. This way he won't be able to steal from you. You could also trick him to annoy him and do things such as photocopying banknotes and leave them around the house - that way he will take them and then they will be refused in shops! He has got to know that what he is doing is wrong and by retaliating in this way you are not breaking the law, but you are letting him know that you have had enough. By doing this he will start to realise he can't get away with what he is doing. Oh, also get a password for the payperview and don't tell him what it is. you can also get a password for every time you make a phone call too so he won't be able to make them. Write down every instance when he steals or when he threatens you or your mum and when he is 18 you can then show the police and they will be able to sort it for you. I hope I have helped a little - let me know if u want any more advice and good luck x


my best guy friend and i started liking eachother...we have this great relationship but then basically when it comes to like making out with him or anything i get all nervous... i want to do it but i dont want it to be awkward (were not going out as of now) is it ok to have this 'friend with benefits'? and how can i not be so nervous cuz if i really like him i dont want it to be weird when/if we go out (link)
If you are really good friends and you think you might start go out with him at some point then can you tell him that whatever happens you want to take things slowly? This is the best way to take things especially if you are already good friends. So you say you are nervous, everyone thinks it's only the girl who gets nervous but it's not. He will be feeling just as nervous as you. If I were you I would take things really slowly. The best relationships are ones which build up gradually. Spend time together, go for walks, th the cinema, picnics or whatever - thast way you will get to know achother even better and become so comfortable around eachother that things will come naturally. Once it comes to the point when you are ready to make out it will be nerve-wracking to begin with but as soon as it starts everything will come naturally I promise. I hoped I have helped a little!


some people think that i'm fat but i dont think so. i mean i watch what i eat, and excersice daily. But, i cant lose weight. and i have a lot of friends who are super skinny, and they make me feel fat. what should i do, because i want to look more skinny i just dont want to me anerexic.
plese write back,
chunky monkey? (link)
When I needed to lose some weight but still remain healthy I took up these few things:
1. Drank 2 litres of water a day. Sometimes when you think you are hungry you are actually thirsty.
2. Do 25 mins of excercise a day be it walking fast or jogging.
3.Try and eat your dinner by 7.30 pm and try not to have carbs at dinner. If you go to bed on a full stomach your body will not digest fully before it starts going into sleep mode so will store it as fat.
Hope I have helped!


My Child is turning four years of age and I am afraid that she may be depressed but I am not sure what the sinse are can you give me some advise please (link)
I think a few of the signs are that she doesn't seem interested in anything - ie: the toys you give her to play with, food, seeing other children her age and just being really quiet and emotionless. Does she have a reason to be depressed? I think that by not sleeping well can be a sign too. The best thing to do would be to call up a doctor or have a look on the internet. You could try taking her to a child psychologist as well as they could help too. Good luck and I hopeI have helped!


What's a good recipe to use to cook my mom (that won't take a lot of time or a lot of cutting up) breakfast or dinner on Mother's Day? (link)
A cake - you could decorate it and cut it into a heart shape or something?


how do i get over a person i really really love ? (link)
By trying to stay out of their way for a bit. Ask your friends to help by keeping you occupied - organise a night in with your friends where you can watch movies, go shopping with them etc. I know its difficult to understand but it will get easier i promise - every day is a step towards getting over it.


I'm having my 14 bday party on friday and i dont know what to do. I planned to play football since all my friends love it and i have a trampoline and im gonna rent movies but what else can we do to have fun? It's a guy-girl party if that helps.Thanks for the help! (link)
you could have a theme? You could hire a kareoke machine or have loads of music so people can dance if they want? A Barbeque maybe? You could organise a game that involves the boys and the girls like two teams of mixed so everyone gets to know eachother?


if u smoke dose it come up on blood tests ? cuz i smoke but i dont want my mom to know and im getting a blood test and i dont know if the doctors or whoever can tell if i smoke when they test my blood so please help me! (link)
I don't think so no. The doctors aren't giving you a blood test to check if you smoke or not and even if it does show up, it can show up just from you being in a smoky environment with others around you smoking not necessarily from you smoking


ok i went to the store to buy my makeup and i accidently bought this translucent powder stuff. what is it? its pretty much the color of my face, but it doesn't really go on like normal powder. (link)
Translucent powder is used if you have oily shiny skin and want to make it matt ie: not shiny. You usually put it on after foundation or just on its own if you don't use foundation.


I really appreciate anyone who decides to read this and help me, I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.

I've been in a relationship, on and off with a boy for two years now - I'm just about to turn 18, while he's just about to turn twenty. For most of our being together our relationship has been really unstable, him always unsure if he wanted to be with me. I look back at myself and wonder why I spent so many nights worrying and letting myself become so attached.
We had what was supposed to be our 'final breakup' right around New Year's eve. I was hurt, and we were split for a little over a month, and started talking again. Not too long after, we started actually becoming connected in all of the ways we hadn't been before. To be honest, right now I'd have to say that he's probably my best friend, and we share everything with eachother. This is probably the best our relationship has ever been, and I should be loving every minute of it.

The problem? While we were split, I got to know a friend of his, *Jeffery, really well. This is someone who has betrayed my boyfriend in the past, there are shaky feelings between them although they still see eachother occasionally. I got to know Jefferey better and better and really began to like him, and him me. I stopped talking to him for the most part because I was afraid that it would hurt my boyfriend, although we were not together at the time. After a short time I thought that I made a mistake, but by then me and my (then ex-)boyfriend had started to talk again. My boyfriend and I have been together since.
Lately, me and Jefferey have been seeing a lot of eachother through mutual friends. We still have feelings for eachother, and it has been driving me crazy. While things are going really well in my relationship with my boyfriend, I feel like I will always have this question in the back of my mind, "what if". Recently me and Jeffery were hanging out together, and he tried to kiss me. I didn't let him, and told him we shouldn't hang out anymore unless I break it off with my boyfriend. I feel like this was a horrible mistake, but I feel very insecure about breaking things off with my boyfriend, who has been so great to me during all of this. We have no secrets from eachother, and I did not cheat on him. I think that Jeffery might have 'given up' on trying to be with me, and I feel a little defeated and negative about myself. I feel like I should have been more decisive, but I don't know what to think. I wish I had gotten to know Jeffery more while I was single.

Thanks to anyone who read this long thing, and thanks doubly to anyone who offers advice. My mind is a mess over this.
(link)
You have to think about what is best for you and also the outcomes of what might happen depending on what you choose to do. You said your boyfriend and you had an unstable relationship to start with but now its ok - do you think it will ever go back to being unstable again? If you definitely think it will then think about how miserable he made you back then and how there is no way you want him to make you feel that way again. You deserve more in a relationship than always feeling unstable and insecure about it - relationships aren't about that.
Secondly, if you really think you have a future with this other guy then go for it but take things very slowly. You said he betrayed your boyfriend - in what way? Could he betray you like he betrayed your boyfriend?
You have to remember that if you split up with your boyfriend and then start seeing this guy immediately then your boyfriend will not take it well. If you split up with your boyfriend and want a relationship with this other guy then just play at being friends first and if you are definite you want to take things further then it might be an idea to talk to your boyfriend about it first instead of him having to find out from someone else. I hope i have helped a little and good luck


i really like this guy... and i think he likes me to. the problem is we never c each other at school. he sugests that we talk on the fone, but im too shy to do that. i want something to happen between us, but how do i get over that shyness? (link)
If u want to talk to him on the phone but are really scared you'll get shy then make a list of things you can talk about so you don't run out of things to say. Then when you get to the end of the list say you have to go. the more often you do this the easier it will become to talk to him because you will be getting to know eachother and you will start to relax around him. Then you can take it a step further and meet out of school or something.


well ya see i want to get black streaks in my hair... idk how i should do it tho... my parents dont want me to say they wouldnt take me to get it done... so im gona do it without asking them...
my hair comes a TINY bit bellow my shoulders in the front...its layerd like crazy...and it gets longer in the back...and its naturally wavy and really thick... oh yea and i also have bangs down a tiny bit pasmy eyes... and its a bunch of different colors ( naturally)... mostly dirtly blonde, light brown... how should i get it done? should i go to a salon anyways? if i dont... what product should i use? also... if i do it myslef... how? also if i go to a salon... how much is it?
PS if it helps... i like the way Xtina Agularas hair looked when it had black streaks (link)
The safest hing to do would probably be going to a salon to get it done. That way you know the streaks will be even and you will get a good end result. Otherwise if you want to do it yourself get a friend to help you because you won't be able to do the streaks at the back yourself and you need all the bits youre going to streak to be even. Good luck


im looking for some help/advice as to why i always have to buy things in large amounts. for example i cant buy just one pen i have to get 4 or 5 at a time its the same with everything. if i go to a store to buy one thing i buy at least 5-6 things that i dont really need but buy anyway. any help or ideas would be appreciated. (link)
It sounds like what you are getting into is a bit of a habit. You can help yourself by either getting someone else to but your things you need or, write a list of things you need and only go to the shop with the exact amount of money to buy the one thing you need. By doing this over and over again your habit will slowly change and you will find the habit starts to fade.


First off, sorry for wasting a question on something ridiculous. That’s exactly what it is, though. Every girl likes someone, it happens. I try to keep it from happening to me though, because I believe it will never work. I can't get into a relationship even if I wanted to, like I won't allow myself. I never cared really, I figured it was for the best. But of course, someone I could actually see myself being with has stumbled along. However I'm still having so much trouble with the idea of a relationship. I’m 16, almost all of my friends have had some sort of relationship. I’m not saying based on age I should be right with them, but perhaps a close friend wouldn't hurt. We both like each other, but being close to a person is something I don’t do. He is an open kid, I don't think the two of us would be comfortable with how I am. I should also mention I’m moving several states away in the near future. Which was also my decision, that I can no longer change. So its my fault I like him.. I shouldn't have let myself get into this.. and I also can't stay here to try it out. Some talk of a long distance thing has been mentioned. He could do much better girlfriend wise, me leaving the state would totally be perfect for the entire world to tell him that. I know I shouldn't even be interested in a guy that will let other's opinions alter his, but if people are constantly nagging you for something that’s not even that rewarding, why would you continue with it? I guess i have a few questions. Should I give a shot anyway? How can I go about facing him everyday without him mentioning it? [we have the same friends, we all hang out everyday.] Also, if we were to try it, how could I not be so freaking uptight? Sorry again, and thanks. (link)
Everybody starts to like someone at some point but it varies with age. You have just started to like this guy but unfortunately it has come at a time when you are about to move. You can give it a go if you like but then it is up to you whether you can be strong enough to either let things go when you move or to carry things on after you have moved. It depends on how strong you think you can be. It might be difficult carrying things on after you move as you won't really be able to see him that much and things might get tricky. If you don't think you will become too attached too quickly then by all means go for it. If you think you will become really attached to him then don't do it. Will you be coming back or moving permanently? If it's only semi-permanent then it's always something you can look forward to when you come back


Ok so I usually get my period around the 12th or 13th. In April I got it the 23rd. What time of the month should I expect to get it in May? The time I usually do or the time I had it last? (link)
The time you had it last. You usually get it around the same date every month.


ok, i saw on the back of my monster can that you shouldn't drink more than 3 cans per day. i was wondering why? what are some of the risks if you do have more than 3 cans? cause i drink it a lot, and some of my friends even have more than 3. thank you. (link)
Energy drinks have a lot of caffeine in them which, if you drink too much speeds up your heart beat and can lead to panic attacks. A friend of mine had 7 in one day and had to be taken to hospital having panic attacks.


Hi. I'm a fellow Advicenator. I have my own column, if you ask, I could leave you feedback with my username. Although I've always been good at advice...I feel lost right now. Maybe I do know the answer, but I just need to hear it from someone else.

For the past few years...Something hasn't been right with me. I'm tired of not fitting in, I'm tired of always needing to get good grades, I'm tired of people not telling me anything, tired of being ignored, hurt... I'm one of those 4.0+ GPA students. Friends would describe me as hyper. Heck, that's even part of my username. But all this time it's been a cover up of how I really feel. Crying by myself sometimes make me feel better, but time doesn't heal, like they say. Things get worse for me.

This year seemed to work out so well. Until last Friday I realized that this year has all been a lie. A friend told me about something my other friends have been hiding from me. I found out that the people I LOVED, my FRIENDS, were talking trash about my boyfriend and me.

They don't realize that WE HAVE ALL CHANGED. I know I have changed, and I accept that. I accept that they have changed as well. We all want our "old" friends back, but what can we do? I miss them, but I cannot change what has happened between us. My boyfriend has brightened up my life. I thought they would be happy for me. What's funny is THEY were the people that pressured me into saying YES to my boyfriend sooner than I expected. (I don't regret it at all.) I could have gone for months, not giving him an answer. "OMG, say yes already" "Oh, he's a nice guy" I remember lots of quotes, CLEARLY. And now, here they are, talking trash?

My REAL friends are supposed to be there for me. They're supposed to talk to me, even if it's something I don't want to hear. They need to at least try to see things my point of view, and NOT talk trash behind my back. They need to either talk to me about it or keep it to themselves and NOT spread around how I'm such a changed and horrible person.

The only person that is giving me the will to live is my boyfriend. I feel bad he has to see me like this. He tells me he knows how I feel, but he doesn't care because he has me. I'd like to say the same, but honestly, it hurts too much. I love him, but the pain won't go away.

I don't know what to do.

At first I wanted to like yell at my "friends" and go rawr! But then as these few days passed I just wanted to forget. But then I can't forget the pain... I see them every day. I think to myself, maybe if I forget, we can all pretend it never happened because I don't want to ruin things even more. But then I tell myself how could I pretend when something like this has happened? My brain goes back and forth...all the time.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize for the length...I really needed to get that out... Please...I need some wise words. (link)
Everyone at some point in their life goes through the phase where the friends they thought were their friends aren't. What you have to do is stick with the friends you know you can trust even if that's only one or two. You will be so much happier this way. You should never to what your friends tell you to do - instead, do what you want to do yourself. When I was living with some friends last year there was a girl who I thought was one of my best friends. What I realised throughout the year was that she was actually bad-mouthing me to all my other friends and telling me to do things just so she could spread gossip. These are the kind of people who are the most messed up. The people who you thought were your friends are having jealousy issues with you and they say things to hurt you to make themselves feel better.
You have to realise that you are far better than those people. I stopped hanging around with this girl and, instead concentrated on the one friend I could trust, and my boyfriend. Now, a few months later, the others have been calling me and say they want to hang with me because this girl is being horrible to them now and they realise how upsetting it is. She now has no friends and lives on her own.
What you have to do is stay away from the people who are being horrible to you and soon they will get bored when they realise they are not affecting you any more. they will go and find someone else to pick on.
By doing this and sticking with the people who make you happy, you will become happier and people will see you for who you are - a happy, honest person- the type of person they want to be friends with too. I hope this helps a little - let me know if there's anything else I can help u with - I have an advice column.
Daisy x x


ok. I previoulsy asked a question about how do i get up in the morning. now i have the worst time falling asleep! help! (link)
The best tips I have to fall asleep more easily are these:
Have a really long hot bath or shower before going to bed
Burn a lavender candle or lavender oil in your room before you get into bed
Get a good book or do a crossword from a magazine
Good luck!




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