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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

okay, theres this kid im friends with in school. i think its the only reason i go.

and i have a bunch of friends, i dont like talk to them alot as much as i think of this boy.

and i heard from one of my firends that he likeds me because he stars at me in class..

and also he is in my gym and when ever i have to run a mile or so hes like "RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!" really loud. and to no one else (its foloowed with my name)

so i think i like love him? what do you think?

It's not love. I'm sorry to say this, but it is merely a friendly infatuation (ie CRUSH). Love is something much deeper and more meaningful than staring at someone in class. It's when you are totally one with that person and would do anything for them, even give them up. It's perfectly normal to have crushes, most people get them all the time. Their length varies, and also it is possible to crush on many different people at once. Do not become obsessed with this boy. And go to school for yourself, an education is important.

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If you have seen the exorcism of emily rose please help me undertsand this. Whenever she was in the field with the Virgin Mary, what did Mary ask her? Whenever Emily said "I choose to stay." Was the a good choice or a bad choice? Why did she choose to stay? Please explain.

It was a good choice. I also chose to stay, and I'm glad I did because there are cute stuffed animals and ladies in skimpy outfits here. That's what I like about it, but Emily chose to stay because of the really good dim sum.

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I slept over my friends house the other night and I slept in one of the two beds she has in her room. so that was okay and then a couple of days later she told me that she went to 3rd base with this guy i know in that bed. so I was wondering if I can catch anything from just sleeping in that bed

Um, no. Firstly it depends on what she meant by third base, it could have been dry humping. Secondly you would have to be naked and have sex with the bed to get anything. They are called Sexually Transmitted Diseases because they can only be transmitted sexually. You can't breathe them in. Though it was really rude of her not to change the sheets. I think you should shake her can of soda so that when she opens it, it fizzes all over her as revenge. =)

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ok im writing this paper for school and i need a really good title for it. its about when they build us a new highschool what should they include or whatever. it needs to be catchy and no more than maybe 6 or so words. thanks!

"High School: What They Should Include or Whatever"
"Lalalala High School!"
"This Time It's Not Dangeresque One!"
"This Is a Catchy Title"
"Dogs That Fly Into the Sun"
"I Couldn't Think of a Title"

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Well recently i got about 3 tattoo's and im 14. All of my friends got them too. i live with my mom and she was completly okay with them. Somehow, my dad found out about them. He foundout the name of the guy who did them, and where he lives. He told me he was going to have him arrested. If i am ever the reason somebody gets sent to jail i dont know what i would do. i feel so bad i just wanna die! what should i do!?

Don't feel guilty. It is not your fault. That guy should not have been giving tattoos to minors. He probably would have been arrested eventually anyway, it is not because of you, he was the idiot who gave tattoos to 14-year-olds.

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Im 15 and my boyfriend is 18. weve been together for almost a year. He was really sweet the first 5 months, but now he has gotten so jealous that we get in fights all the time over it. He doesnt like me talking to guys or even looking at them. He doesnt like me wearing slutty clothes. (he considers skirts slutty) We both work at the same place and when our manager tells me i have to work the drive thru with a boy, he gets so mad at me like i can help it. Ive broken up with him several times hoping that he will change, but everytime i get back with him, an hour later hes right back at it again. Each time i break up he calls me up or comes over telling me how much he loves me and i always take him back. He tells me often that i will NEVER find anyone who will treat me better, and that im lucky to have him!! I told him i dont want to live like this, but he doesnt seem to get it. If i accidentally piss him off he'll go and start flirting or talking to other girls to piss me off. He was like this with his first girlfriend, but it didnt seem to cause problems in their relationship like it has ours. Shes basically the same age as he is, so i dont know if that has anything to do with it. He was very sensitive to her needs, and would hold her if she got upset or mad, but i feel he doesnt care when i get mad. I do know that i dont want to be controlled! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!!

This is ABUSE.

You may think that is a strong word, but that is what it is. He wants to control you, he thinks he owns you, he doesn't allow you to do anything. Maybe he hasn't physically harmed you but it is still abuse and you never know, he might hit you or otherwise hurt you. Get out now before that happens. It is a common occurance and most girls do not know what to do, they feel like they need to be with the guy. Well you don't need him. I cannot stress this enough: BREAK UP WITH HIM!!! You might have to quit your job...or you might not! Talk to your boss privately and say that you are being abused by this guy. Hopefully there is a sign in your workplace that says "SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS ILLEGAL!!!" and explains it. If you tell your boss about it the guy can get fired and likely arrested, and he deserves it. Why? BECAUSE IT'S ABUSE! AND I REPEAT: LEAVE HIM NOW!

I sincerely hope it works out for you.

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(13f)Yesterday my dad asked me to pull weeds in the yard and I accidently pulled a whole bunch of plants that were like $100. I said i was sorry and promised to replant them but they wont let me. I cant pay them back because I dont have any money. Now they're not talking to me and they wont drive me anywhere I need to go! Does anyone have any ideas about what I can do?

Wow your dad is really immature. If he wanted it done right he should have done it himself. Or not gotten the $100 plants. I suggest you tell your family how horribly childish and unfair they are acting and remind them that plants are re-placeable; their daughter is not.

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why is it bad for guys to drink mountain dew?

It kills sperm.

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What age is normal for girls to start masturbating or wanting to or getting horny?

Whenever you feel you should. You can't control your horniness. When you're a teenager, you are very hormonal and sex is on your mind most of the time. Just remember that your body may be ready for sex but you are not emotionally mature enough for real sex with another person. If you feel like you wanna try masturbation, go for it. Everybody is different...some girls start at 14 and some never even do it. It's whatever you feel comfortable with.

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I recently took the hard drive out of my old computer and put it into a new one. My mum had a user account on the old computer and she wants to keep the stuff that was stored in there. However she made her files private. Now i can't access her user account to get to the files. Is there any way I can somehow make it not private or access the files in it?

Just ask your mom to do it.

EDIT: Well I don't know why it's hard to ask your mom to do it! How was I supposed to know it "wasn't that simple", some people would ask advicenators before they thought of that! Don't rate me a one just because you can't do it, that was my best advice and your only answer as well.

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how exactly do you scrunch your hair?

First you put mousse or gel in your hair. Then kind of...grab your hair and hold it kind of tightly. Move it up and down sort of like you're washing it. I'm sorry if you still don't get it, it's kind of hard to explain. If you were here I could just show you but...yeah...maybe if you know someone who is into cosmetology and hair-dressing you can ask them about it? Or next time you get a hair cut say "How do you scrunch your hair?" You've probably had it done to you by a hair dresser before, they've done it to me thousands of times.

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17/f/tx

Hello everyone, i have a bit of a problem. I entered a medical program in school and we travel to medical offices a few days a week. Problem is, we are prohibited to bring anything with us except for ourselves and we are gone for a good solid few hours. My question : how is one supposed to bring pads if they are on their period during this time? Any ideas?

If you're only there for a few hours then I think you can get away with just one pad. I mean, how many do you use within a few hours? Just put one in before you leave and change it right when you get back. If you don't like that, you could wear pants with those huge pockets that velcro or zipper and put some pads in there. Also there might be feminine hygeine vending machines...ahh, but you're probably not allowed to bring change, huh? Hm. Well I hope it works out for you.

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Over the summer I lost about 10 lbs. And considering I was only 150 lbs to begin with, I'm now extreamly thin. I didn't lose the weight on purpose, I was just sick of like 3 weeks and I couldnt eat much at all. Well I really need to gain that weight back but the problem is that I'm a cheerleader so I'm constantly moving adn working out which obviously doesn't help with gaining weight. Does anyone know how I can gain it back? My coach just said that it will eventually come back on its own but I'm not sure if that's true.

Get pregnant? I dunno. I wouldn't be complaining because I'm fat and I've been fat all my life. Basically I just be myself and I become fat, so I really have no idea. I know what you should NOT do and that is binge on snacks because that's REALLY unhealthy. You will probably build up your muscles a lot working out and that will add to your weight.

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okay, well where do I start? As always, the story begins with "there was this guy.." haha
Well, I met this guy on my vacation this summer. And we got really close and everything..so close that we decided that we'd meet again this christmas (i live in the UK, he lives in the US..he's flying here this christmas - Just to see me (aww, hehe) well, anyways..im working really hard to make sure that he'll think it's worth it when he comes here, ive lost alot of weight, whitened my teeth proffessionally, got my hair fixed, bought alot of sexy clothes, took a seductive dancing class..well, basiclly EVERYTHING! now the only problem is, how do i become sexy? i know there's no specific thing to do/say to be sexy..so i was just wondering if there's any one thing that you remember as sexy. For example, the sexiest thing mý ex-bf said was ' let's give them something to watch' and then he kissed me right infront of everyone! (This group of girls where staring at us, and i was like : what are they looking at, and then he said the wohle ' well, lets give them something to look at -thiing' and i thought that was really sexy! You know, stuff like that..like it dosnt necessarily have to be something that i can do, i wont copy whatever your gf did. I just started thinking about all this..and wanted to know the things you considered sexy. Cause i know what girls think is sexy already, for example : when a guy wears axe, or when he calls you babe/baby, when he touches your hip,when he simply givs you a kiss on the forhead..or when he carries you 'lol, makes me feel like a tiny woman, and he's my strong hero' lol..well anyways, is there anything you guys can tell me that you think is sexy? thank you =)hah sorry if it was long..

Okay...I have this policy which is "don't change yourself for a guy. If he doesn't like you the way you are, there is no point in going all out for him."

This guy is flying across the ocean to see you. Obviously he doesn't care if you're a supermodel.

Though you should still pretty yourself up. Get your hair done and wear clean clothes and such. It's a special occaison, after all.

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Time to get stuff off my mind, tonight is the football game and I am really excited cause its gonna be fun... i kinda want this guy to go with me and after school today i was like go to the football game k and he said hed try... but the problem is I want to hang out with him...hes like seriously a best friend now no joke but i dont know like any of his other friends cause he hangs out with a bunch of ppl i dont know so like if hes hanging out with them i feel hecka awkward talking to him... and sometimes i think he gets annoyed with me cause well he loves mac dre and like he'll say something and i wont know what it means and he'll be like i thought so i didnt think you would... but i mean im sorry i dont really listen to that much rap I mean i do listen to some like mike jones lol and the ying yang twing and twista but yea i dont know maybe were so close that were so oppisite... im really starting to like him but i dont know if i should any advice???

Weird! My school had a football game tonight too! But I didn't go. =( I was being lazy and just wanted to eat and read books. Plus I didn't know what time I should go. But it's really too bad because one of the football players is wicked hot and I wouldn't mind watching him run around and tackling and getting tackled by other guys, and then maybe he and I could "score a touchdown" together...okay getting waaaaaaay off topic here, sorry!! ~~~^___^

Anyways, that sounds really annoying, the way he talks to you. I mean, he could atleast try to talk about things he KNOWS that you'll know of! Like your teacher, or something. Gaah. I feel your frustration. But since he won't, I think you should. If you like him then you should really take the initiative and try to get to know him better. And just because two people don't like the same music doesn't mean they won't make a good couple!! My mom likes David Bowie and the Beatles and my dad likes...um...crappy music!! Nah, actually my dad has some pretty good Classical music but I don't like his Cajun stuff. O.O Sorry I got off topic, I'm just trying to be friendly here!! People should be friendlier with each other, don't you agree?

Even though you like him, just remember that if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world...he is just a guy, there are plenty of others. Or as a friend of mine once said "There are plenty of fish in the sea. But who wants to go out with a fish?!" Hahaha. But my point is that it's just a crush, you will have hundreds of them. No, you'll have...ten million of them. I woke up at 6 am with a crush on Zack. Now it's 9:03 pm and I've forgotten all about that loser and have moved onto Mr. Football Guy I mentioned above. Obviously those are not their real names, but you get the point.

Well, I really beat this to death, didn't I? Gotta make sure I covered everything...let's see...what you should do...opinions...personal experience...what happens if it doesn't work out. Yep. I think that's everything. I had fun answering this question and I hope you had fun reading it. Best of luck to you!!

EDIT: I just thought I'd point out that when I said "eat and read books" I did not mean "eat books and also read books" but "eat snacks and read books". You probably figured that out, but just to make sure.

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So theres this guy ... i know what your thinking .. But hes really really cool. IM a freshamn and hes a sophmore and he doesnt have many friends becasue hes new this year. Ive talked to him a couple times.. but nothing like.. really talking. And he also rides my bus. Today I rode the bus home just to see him becasue i usually walk home. But I noticed that a few times he look back at me and i pretended i wasnt looking witch.. i probly shouldve smiled at him or something. But .. I have study hall with him and i wont have it with him for another 6 days but he sat alone and my friends in that so i sat with her.. but do yooh think i should get her to sit by him with me ? I mean.. he looked so bored.. he even fell asleep ! .. But in Spainish he sits on the other side of the room and in the other class i have with him he hangs out with these sophmore girls and i only know 2 of them but i dont talk to them that much. I dont think id be able to go up to talk to him by myself and i dont think i can tell my friends i like him right now because my friends are weird.. lol.. and like a lot of people think hes gay (not literally) and stupid becasue .. well.. he kinda is .. But i get it caz i can be that way too sometimes. So like... Theres a dance tonight that im not going to so what if he hooks up with someone ? And if he doesnt .. WHAT DO I DO ! Hes in my lunch every other day and study hall and 2 other classes of mine. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP !

Yeah, both of you go over to him and try to make conversation!! And if he hooks up with someone else...not the end of the world...you can handle being his friend, right? You don't sound like you're "OMG SO TOTALLY IN LOOOOVE!!!" with him, and there are plenty of other boys.

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Im moving and i get to paint my room whatever color i want, any suggestions?

Umm, well, it's not my room. But I would probably do it yellow-green, black, purple, or canary yellow. Or black and white horizontal stripes. That would be hardcore.

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13F (4'10 and 85lbs) I really really want to get my belly button peirced, the thing is my mom said no I think I'm old enough but she doesn't. I'm getting to the freaking point where I'm going to peirce it myself because my mom is such a bi0tch about it. Is it safe to peirce it myself? How can I convice my stupid mom to let me get it peirced? How much does it hurt to get it peirced. And where can I get a belly button ring?
Thankks I'll rate 5's!

Uhm no it's not safe you could kill yourself, especially since belly button peircings are easily infected. Don't trust a fifteen year old to do it, either, even if she did peirce her own. Only trust licensed professionals. For the most part, I agree with your mom...when would you be showing your belly button anyway? You're thirteen...I'm sorry but to me that seems way too young to be showing off your belly! Try to understand your mom's side of it, don't call her a stupid bitch because, well, it's not worth hating your mom for. Trust me soon enough you'll be 18 and you'll be like "Where did the time go?! I feel like I was 13 a couple of days ago." So don't wish your childhood away. Getting one's belly button peirced is not all there is to life. If you do it yourself or get it peirced behind your mom's back, it could cause major problems between you and your mom. Probably for a very long time. Also it will prove her point, that you're not mature enough for a belly button ring. It's better to just compromise with your mom. There is more to life than getting your belly button peirced so just wait a few years, it is not as hard as you think. Think of all the wonderful things you are allowed, like freedom of religion.

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hey this is a quistion for all those guys out there-
do you prefer girls with or without makeup? thanks:-)

It depends on the girl. Some girls have really great natural beauty and don't need makeup but some girls use make and use really bad colors and way too much.

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how do i add someone as my favorite columist

Somewhere on their profile it says "make favorite columnist", and you click that.

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