Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84200
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i have my party in 2 weeks and my period is supposed to come on that day! it would be horrible because there will be swimming ..! im desperate to delay it...if i dont drink anything for 5 days...or keep it very minimal..do you think it will delay my period? wont the body naturally not allow my period to come on time so it will keep the extra fluid? any way i can delay my period? dont say birth control because that wont delay it for another 2 months..it takes time or something for it to work.. (link)
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NO, if you don't drink any fluids for five days, you'll get dehydrated, and get sick, and won't be able to go to the party. A really hot bath, the morning of the party may help. Sit in it for a while and clean yourself out down there. Maybe douching will help to flush out some additional fluid. This may just buy you a couple of hours though.
Michele
I found this additional info on a ob/gyn website
Take ibuprofen
Whenever flow is heavy, start taking ibuprofen, the over-the-counter anti-prostaglandin, in a dose of one 200mg tablet every 4-6 hours while you are awake. This therapy decreases flow by 25-30% and will also help with menstrual cycle-like cramps.
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I am Desperate!
i really want a smooth green snake, sometimes called a grass snake. they are friendly, not piosenous, docile, small creatures, but my dad is scared stiff of snakes. i have tried convincing him with facts, and got facts from people who have overcome their fears, just so their children can be happy. i wish he would consider my feelings. it seems you are my last resort, so please help me!!
signed, petfreak. (link)
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Grass snakes, also called garter snakes are perfectly docile. They don't even have teeth. I would know now how to tell you to care and feed one though, so it actually stayed alive. I guess an aquarium, and dirt, and planted grass. I think they may eat small bugs.
Maybe if you got an aquarium and kept it COVERED, and kept it outdoors, or in the garage, he would slowly get used to it. Grass snakes are available in field and stuff, I don't think you have to go buy one at a pet store.
Michele
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i am 13 and i want to have sex but like when it comes to that i get scared like i want to pratice with someone that wont laugh if i mess up ..... i love makeing out and i want some body that i can pratice with....it dosent matter guy or gurl i dont kno who to turn to
please help (link)
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Do you want to have a baby too? Don't have sex until you know how to prevent preganacies and sexually transmitted diseases, and willing to take those steps. Until then masturbate.
Michele
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okay, i have this problem.. adimting i need help. and after what happened last night, i really need to ask for help. so i was at the mall with 2 of my friends, my mom, and my sister. well my mom called the the B word, and i go w/e and walked off. then she came up and hit me with a rather heavey bag, and i just turned around and pushed her. i had NO idea what was going on. like .. i didnt relize what i did. and i was supposed to go to a party that night with those 2 friends. my mom took them home, and me back to my house and grounded me for the day. she also took away my cell phone, and she had taken away my AIM last weekend.
i dont know what to do with my self, i dont know what has gotten into me.. it just feels everything is happening. and i cant controll anything, also i suck at asking for help.
can any one help me on here?
13/f (link)
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First of all, it is not OK that your mom hit you, but that is another story.
Is your behavior getting you into a lot of trouble, with friends, at school, with teachers, with your folks? If so you really have to look at your behavior and how can you change it. It is selfish and self-centered? DO you only think about yourself and never anyone else. Or do you friends just love you, and you have no problems at school, and it is just your mom.
If so then, what girl your age doesn't go through these kinds of things especially with their mom. But I'll say one thing, your mom is NOT setting a good example. It was Bitchy of her to behave in that way. If that is how she solves problems and deals with disrespectful teens, then she needs help too, because you may just be copying her behavior. Leave it to parents, they often behave atrociously then have a fit, when they see the same behavior in their kids.
My kids are teens also and they get annoying, all kids do. In fact all humans exhibit annoying behavior once in a while. But I would never call them names in front of their friends, and hit them with my bags in public.
I would take them aside after we got home and tell them how their behavior was inappropriate and why it needs to change.
If you are immitating your mom, and she won't see it for what it is, you may just have to find another role model, that is if you really want to change and be the kind of person whom everyone likes. It is all about respect. Every human deserves respect. (well except pedohiles and rapists, wife beaters and oh well I could go on, but you get the picture.)
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i think i am way fat. everyone tells me i am skinny, but seirously, i am 5'3" and 112 pounds. my friends think that just cause i m going on a diet, i will be anorexic. help!!!!!!!!!!!!
i give high ratings (link)
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Ok, here is your OFFICIAL BMI weight, which is your Body Mass Index which is determined by measuring your height and weight, and then whether you are male or female.
For 5"3 height and 112 pounds your BMI is 20
A healthy BMI for that range is between 18.5 - 24.9. So you are in the healthy range, but could go down to 18.5 and still be healthy.
It also says that 102 would be unhealthy for you, but 107 to 113 is healthy.
So like the other suggested eat healthy food, fruits and veggies, low fat dairy, NO JUNK FOOD NO SODA, NO FRIED FOOD. and you will loose a little more but can still be healthy.
Tell all your friends that if you go uder 107 to yell at you, that is not healthy.
Michele
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I have bad stretch marks on my legs and I was wondering that when I turn 18 is there any procedures I can do to have them removed or something? Or do I have to put up with them for the rest of my life. I figured since there is plastic surgery for everything else than there might be for this. Also, until then (I'm 15) is there any way I can make this less noticeable? They are really, really bad and I don't know how I got them so bad! I'm not even that fat just a little chubby and I only thought bigger people got them! Well anyway, thanks for the advice, I wasnt sure where to put this! (link)
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Yes there are lotions that will eventually fade stretch marks. Strivectin was a cream created just for that, then it was discovered that it also gets rid of wrinkles, so it is being sold for that also. Problem is that it is very expensive. Usually 130 an ounce. But check out the ingredients, then go buy similar products for less money that hav the same ingredients. Use them every day, and be patient. They will fade with this care.
Michele
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ok im home alone and i want to visit a pornographioc website for fun and out of curiosity on my laptop...if i delete the website i was at can my parents still catch me? like will those nasty advertisements be constantly popping up (link)
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NO you can still get caught, in your history, and/or in your temporary internet files cache.
If they know how to check there.
Michele
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There is this guy "friend" of mine that I met last year. After a while we were fully aquainted, we started hanging out. I really think he likes me because he has always treated me with respect and kindness. I went to his house the other day, and we started "fooling around". Now he wants to have sex, not as partners, but as friends. He said that this is not considered being a slut or anything because we are friends. Is this true? I really like him. I just got over a really bad situation with the last person I was with. Please help me.
*~!Ayla!~* ( I am only 13, and I'm a girl ) (link)
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Of course it's not true. He is just saying what he thinks you want to here. DO you want to be friends and have sex? Or do you want to be in love. IF you fall for him, he will be quick to remind you that he said HE ONLY WANTED FRIENDSHIP AND SEX, no love. So only go down that road if that is the ONLY thing that you want. And if you guys have an accident and you get pregnant, well guess what. that will be your problem too. Heck it would be your problem anyway. WHy not wait for someone who LOVES you, and will stand by you no matter what.
Michele
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On a typical day I eat one meal. I obsess over food. I weigh myself at least once a day. I lost 35 lbs. in the past 4 months and I have this addiction to losing more and more weight. I don't even like to drink water. I do have OCD and Anxiety. Do you think I could be Anorexic? (link)
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Well it sounds you like you heading there. And I think you are very mis-iformed about food and nutrition. Water doesn't have any calories, You have to drink water. It won't put weight on you. If you don't drink water every day, you will become constipated, de-hydrated, your skin will get dry, your hair will get brittle, and if you are also not eating you hair will fall out Do you want to be a 98 lb bald woman? FInd out what foods are healthy and eat those. It sounds like you are well on your way to becoming the weight you want to be, but if you continue, you'll be dead, and well, that weighs nothing!
Become a vegaterian, you won't gain weight, you'll only eat healthy food that is not high in empty calories, and the best of all, You'll LIVE!
You need to change your thinking pattern. It won't feel natural at first. You'll be afraid of gaining weight, but keep it up, and eventually you'll convince yourself that healthy is better than dead. And fruits and veggies are extremely good for you. You'll live a long and healthy life and live long enough to look back on this period and realize how mistaken you were to think that food was your enemy. NOt all food.
DO so reasearch on the web, I know that there are sits with pictures out there of people who are anorexic and are just skeletons.
YOu also run the risk of messing up your metablites and having a heart attack and dieing. DO you remember that Terri Schiavo case, that lady who was a vegetable and her husband wanted to remove her feeding tube, but her parents did not? It was all over the news two months ago. She started down that road by being anorexic and bulemic. She had a heart attack, She was in her twenties. She didn't die though, she just lost oxygen to her brain long enough to damage her brain, so she remained in a vegetative state for 15 years. Is that what you want?
Please think fruit and vegegables, eat those, while you get more info on being a vegan.
Michele
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I was fairly recently diagnosed with having OCD and Anxiety. I am taking medications for these disorders of the brain. However, I can never sleep and I have to appetite whatsoever. There are also many other side effects that I have, one being the possibility of an eating disorder. Can someone help me, please? In any way possible? (link)
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Hi, honey, I may be able to help. but it will take some change of beliefs on your part. If I had these problems, and I do know what they are, I would go to see a naturopathic physician, and have them put you on herbs and vitamins and forego the medication. There are herbs and supplements like ST. John's Wort and L-Theanine that have had excellent results with people with these symptoms. In Europe where they have socialize medicine and the government pays for everyones medical needs, the government is very cheap, so products like this are presecribed all the time instead of medication which costs more. I believe in them, and believe that they will benefit you, and you won't have the side effects that you have now from the medication. You can look things up on the net and find an awful lot of information about it. Look up St. Johns Wort, or L-Theanine, or look up Natural approach to OCD or Natural approach to anxiety attacks.
I think you will be surprised. I believe that those medication will ruin your health. The sooner you get off them the better. One problem thought, I'll bet your parents and/or your doctor will not agree. But learn as much as you can, and make your own decision. It's your body, you will be much better off if you don't put medication in it.
Michele
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hey..i have been under a TON of stress latley...my whole family has. there's lots and lots of things going on. does anyone know any good ways of releiving strss BESIDES cuttting? ((i REALLY dont want to do that)) yeah i would reaaaalllyyy very much appreciate any effort at all. thanksss!
~*jemmy*~ (link)
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Dancing, yoga, meditation, exercise, running, brisk walking. Weight lifting.
camomile Tea, massage,hot bath, hot shower.
do any of these seem doable?
Michele
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is there anything wrong with a bi racial realationship (link)
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I don't think there is anything wrong with the relationship. If you love each other and are attracted to each other, it is kind of hard to deny it. BUT, you must both be very strong to put up with other people accepting it. A lot will depend on how old you both are. If you are both young and still depending on your families for support, you can expect some problems with it. And nothing that you read here from any advincenator is going to change how your folks will feel. So if you are looking for great lines to speak to defend your position, there are not any. If you are both older and supporting yourselves, then you don't need your families approval, but I know you both want your families to accept each of you, and it won't be easy. Even if your both accepted, you both won't fit in well, and there will be many awkward moments. IF you decide to persue the relationship and make a committment. Just be sure that your love in very strong and that you are respectful to each other. And you will have to be very strong for your children also, who will have to put up with jerks in school and in your neighborhoods. One more thing. I hope you don't live down south, it is much less acceptable down there. Much more common here in New England, and most likely California.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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Jacey again,
I don't want to talk to my mom. I'm scared of her.I'm scared she'll die too, and I'm scared Emily and my dad will too. I feel like everybody I love is a second away from non-existance myself included.
It's my birthday and my family didn't get me anything good. I found the present within myself.
Bryson was seventeen when he died, he was only a kid. He hadn't done anything yet. I'm afraid I'm going to run out of time. I'm afriad I wont have enough time to find out what my perpose is. It scares the shit out of me. Nothing usually freaks me out like this, but I'm scared out of my mind.
I don't want to talk to my mom, because she'll cry. I hate it when she cries in front of me. I feel like I need to cry too, but I haven't cried in years. Until today.
I'm fourteen years old. Im a REAL teenager now, not just a little thirteen year oold. My grandma got me this picture of me and Bryson about a month before he died and she framed it and it said, "Never forgotten" carved into the frame.
I looked at it and I wasn't sad. I was happy. Happy that I knew him. Happy I lived long enough to love him. Happy he was my brother. I realized I wasn't sad he died. I was happy he lived. Then I cried. First my throat started to sting and then my eyes swelled up. The first tear rolled down and hit the frame and I made a sound like I was going to barf and burried my head in grass. I don't think anybody saw me, but I don't care.
Now I feel like shit. All my happiness is drained and I'm pissed beyond belief. There are kids out there who lost everything, who don't have anything and they're fine. But then there's me. I have almost everything, so why do I feel like I have nothing? Why am I so tired all the time? And why am I so damn angry. I'd rather die just so I don't have to live right now.
Jacey
ANd please get back to me as soon as you see this cuz I need helo really badly right now.
JAcey again (link)
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Jacey, Hi honey,
I am so glad that you cried. I this it will have a cathartic affect on you. You did need to cry, but when you were ready, not when everyone else was ready for you to. They wanted you to cry because they felt like shit. How you do, and that is good, because when you are finished feeling like shit, you will start to feel better. I can't say how long you feel like shit, but you had to arrive here. Your nerves are still raw. Everyone's are. And it's your birthday, and Happy Birthday to you, but it is not a happy birthday, is it? You will never look back on this birth day with good memories, but you will look back.
YOu will, so will the rest of the members of your family. You are all going to be OK, it just does not seem that way now, and it shouldn't. Only time will put distance between you and your brother's death.
You are right though to be happy that you knew him. Of course you are made better by having been involved in his life, no matter how long. Sometimes we meet people who have a great influence on our lives, but we cannot control how long they remain in our lives, but we can come away from the experience a better, more complete person.
You are going through some things that may people your age do not experience. There must be a reason, it is utimately up to you to make sense of it.
You can't die now. You have too much to do.
I am here now, Right back if you want.
Michele
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Jacey again- another problem
I don't know if you've ever been to Texas, but it's hot as hell down here. It's probably as close to Hell as you can get without burning up. (Unless you don't put on sunscreen.) :)
- I was going to go with my best friends to the Green Day consert in Tulsa On saterday for my birthday and my mom tells me I can't go. She didn't tell me why she just said no. So i called up my firneds and told them and now they're all pissed off. Then I finally got an answer out of my mom. She said "I don't want you to do anything this year." I asked why and she said becuase it was my first birthday without my brother. And I thought he was ruining my life when he was alive. Why do people keep dragging him into things. It's not my fault he's dead so why am I getting punished for it? (link)
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Whoa! Jacey, that really sucks. ABout green day I mean, not about it being hot. Don't ask me 'cause I'll never come to Texas, and that is exactly why.
I can't believe your mom is doing this.
She is going to regret it some day. Let me ask you this.....would she have let you go to Green Day if not for the death of your brother? I am going to assume yes, and give it my best shot.
I think we need to take a different road here, and try and resolve this before it gets worse. I don't know if you have tried this already, I hope not if you have, then well I'll do some more thinking. I do believe that there is an answer.
YOur mom needs to have her feelings validated. BY that I mean that she needs to know that the GOD AWFUL way that she feels is normal under the circumstances, and EVERYONE NEEDS TO FEEL THE SAME WAY. THE WHOLE WORLD. And really, Jacey, that is how people feel when they loose a child or a spouse. How can the world be continuing on, when I want to die! So if you were acting just like your mom about your brother's death, she would feel a lot better. Notice I said SHE not you. Maybe if you could sit her down, or sit down with her, and start a conversation, and DON'T PUT HER ON THE DEFENSIVE BY CRITICISING! And say something like, Mom, I think I know how you feel, you must be very sad, I am sad also, but you know what, I'm more MAD than sad. Aren't you mad? Mom, aren't you mad at God? ARen't you mad at Bryson? Aren't you mad at the world? Because I don't understand my feelings, can you explain them to me? Say things like: Why does everything seem normal, when so much has changed? This seem surreal to me. Do you feel that way too? Tell her that there is not a day that goes by that you don't think of him.
THis puts her in a position to
1. be a mom
2. help you understand
3. get a dialogue going between the two of you.
4. and remind her that you do think of your brother.
NOw don't force the issue, and don't make it a long conversation. 10 minutes is good. But if it goes well, talk to her again the next day.,
Jacey, please understand, I am not asking you to be phoney. Because I am sure that all of these things have gone through your mind. . Can you just imagine how your mom must feel? She lost a son. Children ARE NOT supposed to die before their parents. It is an unspoken rule in America. Shoot, especially Texas. Should I say
AMERRKA! LIke Bush.
I think you and your mom have become disconnected. You need to connect again. She can't do it, you have to do it. She is lost. I empathize with her. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
ONce you two are talking again, I think she will let you go to the concert.
Jayce I really hope this helps. NOt for your sake, so much, because you are still going to be the person that you are whether you go to the concert or not. YOu will grow up and have a good life because you are a sensible person. But having some empathy for your mom, may help her to get out of this low place that she is in. She needs to get on with life also. Can you get on with yours and leave her behind? I think not. Help her. And you will help yourself. Helping people deal with death is one of the most selfless things you can do. YOu can do this Jacey, be patient, be kind and put yourself in her shoes. It's not forever, it's for your mom.
I hope this makes sens to you.
Talk to you soon.
Michele
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My boyfriend just broke up with me 2 hours ago IN SCHOOL! he just wants a break so how can i make him want me??!!!
PLease answer!!
(link)
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Simple, ignore him, act like it doesn't matter and flirt with other boys. A lot.
Michele
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Lately, I have to pee all the time. I used to only have to go once a day. Now I have to go once every hour. Anyone know why this sudden change has occurred? Should I be worried? I'm 18 female if that helps. (link)
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If you can't think of a reason that relates to changes in your diet or life style that would explain it then you should go to the doctor.
The first thing they will do is check your urine for blood, bacteria and/or sugar (which indicates diabetes)
So, if you haven't increased your intake of fluids, or are drinking caffenated beverages, or are not pregnant or taking any medication, or drinking lots of alcohol, then you should see a doctor.
Michele
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how can u be half virgin? (link)
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Well here is something many of you may not know. In the middle east, amongst people of the muslim faith, it is required by their religion and by LAW for a woman to be a virgin when she marrys. (OR THEY COULD END UP DEAD) Some women even have to submit themselves to medical exams before they can marry to get medical verification that they are virgins. HOWEVER, some of the very rich and wealthy women (members of the royal families) are globe trotting "players". And some of the women do have sex outside of marriage. So later, when the decide to marry, they go to England and have hymen replacement surgery. This way they fool their future husband and his family that she is a virgin. I understand that this is a common practice. Of course the poor women don't have this opportunity, so rather than be stoned to death. They remain virgins until they marry. Glad we live in the USA.
right!Of course the muslim men don't have this problem.
Michele
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Jacey again... new problem
Jordan- you argue all the time
Jacey- I'm relly good at it
Jordan- Why do you do it all the time though.
Jacey- Because
Jordan- Kayala's mom doesn't like you.
Jacey- I haven't said two words to her.
Jordan- She thinks you're like bad and all and she doesn't want it to rub off on Kayla.
Jacey- Do you think I'm a bad kid?
Jordan- Sometimes.
Jacey- Like how?
Jordan- You argue with teachers and Mr. Brake all the time.
Jacey- I argue when things aren't fair.
Jordan- It wasn't fair that Bryson died.
Jacey- Don't bring him into this.
Jordan- Never mind you did argue with your Mom about how you didn't want to go to the funeral.
Jacey- You don't understand.
Jordan- My grandma died.
Jacey- She was old. At least you can say she had a good life. What can yu say about my brother.
JOrdan- You're argueing again.
Jacey- I'm winning.
Jordan- you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble.
Jacey- I'm a bad kid.
Jordan- You hang out with skater punks
Jacey- No I don't I hang out with people who like to skateboard.
Jordan- And you hang out with Nikki.
Jacey- NIKKI IS NOT A BAD KID.
Jordan- Grow up JAcey
Jacey- I grew up a long time ago. I know the world isn't fair. And I knw there are ways I can make it fair.
Jordan- Maybe it's not argueing.
Jacey- I know what it is.
Jordan- HOw?
Jacey- I'm smart.
Jordan- NO you're not. Your grades suck.
Jacey- I'm not talking about my grades and I was in ALgerbra in SEVENTH grade. I think I'm pretty smart.
Jordan- SO?
Jacey- You are still in Pre- ALgerbra.
Jordan- Well I think I'm smarter than you.
Jacey- I don't
Jordan- NObody thinks you are
Jacey- I don't care what people think.
Jordan- You should hear what they say about you.
Jacey- I know what they say.
Jordan- What.
JAcey- They say I'm crying out for attention and I am making a big deal out of nothing and that I just tag around with people because I don't want to be alone.
Jordan- How'd you hear that.
Jacey- Well you said it.
Jordan- YOu weren't there.
Jacey- I've got ears.
Jordan- Well you're not a very good catcher.
Jacey- I have the highest batting average in North Texas
Jordan- You don't call good pitches.
Jacey- You don't pitch what I call.
Do you now see how weird people act around me? Where does this girl get the right to tell me I'm a bad kid. I'm not! I know I'm not!!! I know I sound really dramatic when I say this but people don't understand me.
TxRedHeAd1013: do you think im a bad kid?
x0xallisonx0x14: no way
TxRedHeAd1013: you sure?
x0xallisonx0x14: what do you mean by bad kid
TxRedHeAd1013: do you think I'm just bad.
x0xallisonx0x14: haha sometimes when it's funny but no not really
TxRedHeAd1013: it's always funny
x0xallisonx0x14: Yeah it is.
(link)
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Hi Jacey,
You are having a tough time aren't you. Well what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, (did I mention that)
Loved when Jordan said "You hang out with skater punks!" And you said, "No, I hang out with kids who skateboard!"
That is so logical. Logic kills every argument.
You are so right! Grades, in US schools today, grades are not a sign if intelligence. Sure if your a conformist, but we already know that you are not. Did you know that Einstein flunked out of school?
I think it is great that you have a strong sense of what is fair and what is not, and what unfair things you can do something about and what unfair things you cannnot, like your brother's untimely death. Should you waste a lot of energy, emotions and feelings on ranting and wailing about how unfair it was? For weeks and weeks. Will that make you OK" in everyone's mind. And what would you accomplish by doing that. Just gaining acceptance I guess. But if you have to imitate and conform to what everyone thinks you should be like, what have you gained? And actually you have lost something very important.....yourself.
That statement you made about "crying out for attention" the one that you say people think is what you are doing. What do you think of that statement? Do you agree with any of it. Does it have a ring of truth? Or are they way off base, and looking for problems? Only you know for sure.
Jacey, you know what the definition of crazy is?
I mean the real textbook definition, but condensed into one sentece? It is this:
"Being crazy is defined not by WHAT you do, but by HOW LONG you do it." This is straight from my psychology professor. And broken down it means basically, that we all act crazy at one time or another. We all do crazy or stupid things. But if we do them continually, without let up, and getting terrible results, but still continue, then we are crazy. And actually very few people fall into that category.
You're not a bad kid, you're just having a bad summer. Resign yourself to it, get through it, next year will be better, because by then everyone else will be on the same page as you.
Good luck dear.
Michele
I enjoy exchanging letters (emails) with you.
Michele
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I'm a 16 yr old girl. About a month and a half ago me and my bf broke up. I broke up with him because he kept running off and getting in trouble and was acting really immature. So now we are just friends, and seems comfortable with it but I know he isn't. One minute he acts like he is cool being friends with me, and then the next minute he begs for me back and to get a second chance. But I'm not giving him another chance because he can't ever change and I know it. I've told him many times that I'm not taking him back. At first I was nice, but I have even cussed him out because he was getting so clingy and annoying. He kept calling and showing up places where I would be just to "see me". He can't take the hint. I told him that if he doesn't want to be friends and can't handle that then we shouldn't talk anymore because he's acting like a stalker and it's getting really annoying. So I finally thought he had moved on. He got a new girlfriend and everything was cool. He wasn't calling as much anymore until out of nowhere he starts up again. He started calling all the fucking time and sending me creepy emails saying how sexy I am, how he misses me, and that he loves me.... while he has a fucking gf. So I told him off and then I find out he broke up with his gf and he is telling everyone we are getting back together. Is there any way that I can get this guy to take a hint b/c I have seriously tried everything and he just doesn't get it! Help! (link)
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This is a serious matter and you have to take it seriously. Tell him next time, and tell hin ONLY ONCE, that if he continues, that you will call the police. THen the next time he shows up where you are, or calls you or comes to your house. then make the call. The police have to respond. Even if they just talk to both of you, and end up going away. He will get the hint, that it is NOT OK to act in this manner. You could be saving yourself and future girls a lot of trouble if he gets the message at this young age. and PLEASE< PLEASE PLEASE, don't make the mistake of going back with him EVER in the future, no matter how much he seems to have changed and not matter how lonely you are. It just reinforces his beliefs that stalking and harrassing works. This is the kind of guy who will beat his wife and kids behind doors. There are way to many men out there like that. Listen to your gut feelings and stear clear. Take every threat seriously, and call the police.
I could tell you some nightmare stories from girls who felt uneasy and scared, but did not want to cause any trouble. They just wanted the guy to go away. Seems like a simple request doesn't it. But these guys are not normal, and they need more than simple reminders.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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Jacey again,
My sister came home for summer and was acting all worried about me and stuff. I caught her following me and my friends while we were at the saktepark and when i got home we had a big fight. Here's how it went.
Jacey- WHy the hell were you following me
Emily- I'm worried about you
Jacey- Why
Emily- I don't know
Jacey- yes you do so don't lie to me
Emily- You scare me sometimes. You act like you don't even care he died.
JAcey- I care I just don't compare my life to Simple PLan songs
Emily- At least make it look like you care.
Jacey- How
Emily- You could cry
Jacey- I don't want to
Emily- Feel sorry for yourself.
JAcey- NO!!!
Emily- The feel sorry for somebody else. How about me huh?
Jacey- WHy you?
Emily- Cuz it's hard on me. I don't even live here and I'm getting called by Mom and Dad to go to all kinds of shit for him and you never even went to one!
Jacey- I didn't want to go.
Emily- YOU SHOULD HAVE YOU SHOULD HAVE SHOWN SYMPATHY FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.
Jacey- YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LOST HIM SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Emily- Try acting normal for once kid
Jacey- I am normal
Emily- No you're not! You funny and you act like you're seventeen. You're too smart for your own damn good and you know things! You know way too much
Jacey- Go burry your ears in headphonees!
Emily- Go to hell!
Jacey- This is hell!
That's pretty much word for word hwo it went. I don't know why i got so mad all of a sudden, but she had it coming for her right? I'm way smarter than people think i am. There are reasons like that why i dont show them. But its summer and i want to have fun. I dont want want to dwell on what happened three months ago. Why am I still the only person who's accepted it? I want to act like act like a fourteen year old (okay im thirteen but my birthday's on friday.)
My friends are atarting to treat me the same again, but its still always a little acward when we go by Carroll Ave. I'm fin eand i need people to know that. I need peopl to stop worrying about me. I want to trust people again.
And i just wanted to say you've been a big help.
Love,
Jacey
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Wow, Jacey,
That is tough. YOu know if you were an "adult" already, no one would be bothering you. Sure they may have an opinion that you are "not showing proper mourning or sadness" but they would never think of bringing it up to you. Because as adults we are entitled to our privacy. Why not kids. Kids deserve privacy too, especially in the "feelings" department. We all, own our feelings. We can't feel another way, just to please someone else. We can pretend, and many adults do, but you know what....that is what is special about young people, they are not phony. (that is something you learn later on, just to get along better because it is easier) But don't change. Stand your ground.
I wish I could figure out the right thing for you to say or do, that would make everyone relax about how you are handleing it. Would they be more acceptable if you were suicidal over the incident!" I do think that your intelligence has a lot to do with it, and you know what. A lot of very intelligent "adults" will tell you, that very often they feel isolated from the rest of society, so be prepared. That does not mean that you cannot be happy, and have your own family someday, who love you for who you are. I am the same way, in that I don't get overly emotional about a lot of things. Some people act like certain situations are the "end of the world". What I is say is "Only the end of the world, is the end of the world. Then I'll worry."
But you have the correct attitude. Nothing will bring him back. Just tell them you are going to live you live in "honor of your brother" rather than "regret that you have a life and he doesn't".
I wish you well, keep up the good work. Your emotional stability will serve you well through out your life.
Michele
I love to hear from you, so please if you like, write again.
Michele
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