TheTeenGirl's advice column

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Q: My friend's favorite thing to do was always acting, and she always wanted to make it big time. She recently tried out for a broadway show, but didn't think she'd get a part. It turned out that she did get a part, and a good one too! The thing is, she got so nervous about going into fame and all that, that she's not really sure she wants to do it anymore. I mean it's her dream to be famous and all, but she's just kinda nervous about it. I know that if she turns down the offer she'll regret if for life. What can I say to her to remind her of the good things in fame? Also, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being famous?

Remind your friend that every single actor was once nervous and started somewhere before they became famous too. She needs to just keep practicing with you until shes feeling confident, try practicing in front of her parents so she can get a bit of an idea of an audience. Also remind her that if she doesn't try and break this nervous band around her, shes not going to end up being something big because every actor has to go through scared feelings and feeling sick and they have to break that feeling. And if she screws up, its ok, every actor screws up at times too, but they still keep going to correct their mistakes. Promise her that it will pay off if she follows her dreams no matter how scared or nervous she is, because that is a promise, it will pay off in the end.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: this is really weird but ..im always afraid to sign on aim because im afraid someone will say something really mean to me and ill get upset for weeks. I over analyze convos on AIM wayy too much and I think if someone says anything like hi instead of hey or um i think they hate me!! what do i do? I love talking on AIM but Ive had some bad experiences and now im paranoid!

I just think maybe your bad experiances are getting to you when you sign onto AIM. But, I'm thinking this sort of has to do with a self-esteem problem. If someone online doesn't like you, you get upset because you believe those mean people and then you feel bad. But, if anyone is mean to you, just block them automatically, or you can go to preferances and set it to where only people on your buddy list can instant messege you. Sometimes "hey" sounds like "hey, I'm glad you are on!" and "hi" may sound like, "oh, its you" but its not, if someone were mad at you, then they wouldn't say hi at all. Try getting into the conversation, get passed the hello, like this:

YOU: Hey
FRIEND: Hi
YOU: What are you up to?
FRIEND: Oh nothing, just going to get a soda

Get passed that so the conversation will go a lot faster and you won't feel bad. Just remember, everyone has been bullied on the internet just like you, even if they are innocent, you said that you had a past with bad experiances, so leave that as the past, this is a fresh start, the present, nobody hates you.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok, my ex-girlfriend & I broke up a while ago, & for a while we didn't speak, but now we do & were really good friends, well, she just got out of another realationship (I think shes in this 1 2 get that guy jellious) & again, shes with someone else (I've been with anotehr person since her & I broke up, but now that other girl & I are broken up, but were good friends too) & hes really gross & perverted, & hes really tall & really strong, well, she can just be lead into anything any one wants, & expeshally when she wants to keep a relationship, & hes very good at convicing people to do things, well, he makes her touch certain areas & then he shoves his hand down her skirt, well, he told her & some other people that he wanted to have sex on there 1st date, & she said no, but they way he is, he might rape her or convince her to have sex...

what should I do?

You could try convincing your friend that you will regret ever going on this upcoming first date because this guy is after her for a reason that is obvious. But, I doubt she will listen because she let him touch her. But, I think her parents need to know, and if they don't care to listen, then let her learn. You warned her and tried to help her, you would basically be doing everything you could. Your friend needs to stay away from him because hes only bad news at this point.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: see i have a friend he likes every girl in my class and school hes a perv and he is a guy that got alot of girls but now hes horny and he slaps girls sexually and is despirate to get a girl so what should i tell him i told him only like 1 girl but that didnt work stop being horny and stop wrongfully touching them

You can't stop his hormones unfortunatly. Every guy gets into a perverted and very immature phases when they hit puberty. So, you can't make him stop liking thousands of girls and wanting sex all of the time, but you can stop him from touching girls inappropriately. But, this would take all of the girls that he touched to go to the counselor and tell them what hes done, they won't take it seriously from one person. So, they need to know that this has happened to lots of other girls from your friend. You might even need to help witness this and tell them that you have witnessed this situation. But that is all you can put a stop to, don't worry, he will grow up eventually and be attached to one girl later in life when hes matured.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: So there's this guy, right? And I used to have quite a crush on him. He liked me somewhat too. So I wrote him a note. I told him I liked him.

That was a while ago, and my feelings have faded, but now he likes me! And I'm sure he assumes it's mutual, since I wrote that note, and I haven't said anything since. The problem is, we're really good friends and we talk a lot. I'm worried that he's interpreting it as flirting, which it isn't, at least not intentionally. I really don't want to lead him on, he's sweet.

So, my question(s> is(are): Is there any way to read his feelings, and how can I flir--talk to him less without comprimising the friendship?

Well, you are leading him on when you are being his friend, you need to tell him that you felt the same a while ago, but now, things have changed and now you only want to remain friends. So, you have to tell him blunty, in other words, tell him without beating around the bush. Right now, hes convinced that you still like him, and its best that you correct his thought before he gets his heart broken.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: well, ill make it short but i need the help i have a boyfriend that i care for so much and i like him more than anything but the thing is Im kinda preppy and hes a skater and people at school had a problem with it. We have been going out for 4 months now and everyday more darma comes but he has been changing and its not the boy i liked 4 months ago and hes just changed im best friends with my x-boyfriend and i tell him everything and he always freaks out if i talk to him or any boy and he doesnt seem like he cares for me as much as he did and he is just changing soo much and i went away for a week and i came back and he told me he liked my friend and it just always bothers me now but im going away soon for all summer and i dont no what to do if i was gone just for a week what will happen during the summer !! PLEASE HELP ME FAST !!!

I think you two need to end the relationship before you go away for the summer. This isn't going well at all, hes developing feelings for your friend and is changing himself quickly. So, I think a lot will happen when you leave for the summer while dating him. This isn't a strong enough relationship enough to last a summer without falling in love with another person or changing, its way too weak, I can tell its weak because when theres a problem with a boyfriend, you always talk to them about it, you and your boyfriend do not have that bond. I think you should also try to be understanding of a boyfriend when he gets jealous of you talking to an ex-boyfriend, a guy you use to have feelings for. So, you will not ever be able to convince him you are just friends and you can be trusted until you are dating for about a year, thats when the trust comes in for love, most likely a year is when you start trusting or good, no worries at all. But, this isn't working out anyway, so you just need to break up with him and move on, hes starting to move on by changing himself.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Well i have a question. This might seem wierd but i always have like a discharge..down there.. and it always kind of smells wierd. What can i do to make it go away? I take showers and everything evvvery day

Well, you can't really get rid of odors or weird smells completley, but if its strong, then I'd probably see a doctor, but if you're talking about a weird, light smell, then you're ok. Showering is good everyday, maybe you could try paying more attention to washing there and keeping it clean the smell would go away a bit, but just remember that every girl has a weird or nasty smell there, but not strong. Discharge is very normal, and it always has an odor, but if its bad enough to you, then go ahead to see a doctor.

Thanks for asking.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: There's been alot going on about abortion lately and here's my take!
we have eighty year old male politicians and the abstinent catho-lics (nuns and priests)telling young fecund women whose bodies are basically setting them up to get pregnant, that contraception is not right in the eyes of god, and THEN after that, neither is abortion.
So this is what I get out of all of this-
Either we're supposed to deny our instinctual, primate desires and wait until marriage because they said so, or suffer pregnancy out of marriage and be locked in to raise their future goddamn tax payers- and not to mention- army ants.
NO, their god would FORBID that any human being ould have the control over their own body, nor would any woman be able to move freely and independantly throughout society living as she chooses, without being judged and condemned to eighteen years of servitude to some god-fearing patriotic moron's children?
This is yet another way in which the "man" is getting us down. (white rich male eighty-year old christian authority)
Anyone who thinks abortion should be against the law should shut their damn mouths and take a good look at our 99 percent old, male government and ask ourselves, to what extent will this desicion affect them? Are they about to get knocked up, or get someone pregnant? They can say it's not right to impregnate someone out of marriage or end the life of your unborn child, but when the hell will they ever be faced with such a situation? Do they really have a right to talk? Furthermore- DO YOU?????

This isn't a debate site, its an ADVICE SITE. You don't need to bash anti-abortion people, you need to shut your fat mouth and quit whining about it, abortion is legal, so its not like you are being screwed over. I don't care about your silly yet moronic facts about abortion and rude comments towards pro-lifers. This is a pathetic question and should have been deleted because there aren't any abortion questions bashing pro-choice people, and even if there was, its not like its suddenly going to be taken away and illegal, so get over yourself, low life.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Well there is this guy that i really like and he likes me. He even broke up with his girlfriend for me. He always tells me about how much he loves me and everything. He is .perfect.!, but there is one problem..AGE. His mom won't let him date me bcause he could go to jail. Some of his friends have been giving him hell about it too. Others say we should hookup. His best friend is trying to tell him he wont go to jail. I really love him, what should i do!?

Don't date him. This isn't love, this guy is only a pervert, no love ever occurs between an adult and a minor. I know you've got those answers saying, "hey, age don't matter!" well, guess what? It DOES. You need to find someone your own age just as he needs to do, he has no respect for girls like you to be crushing on. It doesn't matter what hes done for you, hes an adult, a pervert. You are an innocent girl, do not let yourself get caught up in a dangerous relationship. I know you are probably going to take the advice of teens who are brainwashed into thinking that age doesn't matter, but I still tried.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: okie so the easiest way to put it is that my parents are complete conrol freaks and i cant do ANYTHING without them either noeing or okaying or watever and if i do im in complete trouble, can never go out agin, and watever else rite? AND they also threaten all the good in my life so that i HAVE to follow themm... ive thought about calling a child abuse service or watever but i thought that just might be a bit selfish because i have two siblings who reallie need the family until they're ready...and its so annoying because i cant do anything about it (dont ask why.. i just CANT) so im stuck like this for another three years and i really dont think i can survive that long. i mean who can??? if you were here youd probably noe. i dunt even talk bad about them to my friends and all my friends are scared of them. even my best friend is. o and they always go back on theyre word and change things around so that the story fits what theyre saying and they make you have a lot of accomplishments just so they can brag about it and all to all theyre friends and them even if its something you dont want to do and if there is something you want to do but they dont think you should because there is like "no point" (i.e. sports... they wont lemme try out for any of the sports teams at my school and they say its because of money reasons but they pay A LOTTTT more for my brothers' sports EVERY YEAR than they would for a sport). **btw that felt better just righting about it...** but anyways what should i do about it?

--DrIvEn CrAzY--

You sound like a troubled and confused girl. I'm not exactly sure how old you are, but your parents don't really have much of a problem except for not letting you into sports. I know you hate reading my answer, but just let me finish and you can go on and keep being upset about your parents. Your parents have to know who, what, when, where and why before you go places for your safety. So that if something bad were to happen they'd know where you are, and they are your parents and have the right to know these things. If they were to let you run off and do bad things then they wouldn't be good parents, they want you to have a life you won't regret having, and I know you think it really sucks right now, but you're lucky with the parents you're stuck with. Lots of people are stuck with parents that let them run off, I know this sounds like fun, but most of them end up pregnant young, having sex young, and doing a lot of drugs, those are parents who you should be complaining about, but right now, you don't know how lucky you are. You don't need to call Child Abuse Service because you aren't being abused, you are being disciplined and parented and taken care of. I know families can drive you nuts, but you'll see soon that you will look back and thank them. When it drives you nuts, just write in a journal about it, you said it was a relief to write about it, so get yourself a notebook and write your feelings down. You will feel better, so I hope you understand how lucky you are.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: What are some cheat codes for the sims game? thanks in advance!

Heres a code to get rich

Step 1: When you go on the sims, go to any family, it doesn't matter.

Step 2: Press CTRL SHIFT and the letter C, go in order, meaning hold down CTRL, then hold down shift (you should still be holding down CTRL) and then press C.

Step 3: A grey box should come up at the top left corner, in that box, type: ROSEBUD
and press ENTER.

Step 4: After you hit enter, at the bottom, more money should come up, bring the grey box back up by repeating step 2.

Step 5: After the box is back up, type the following:

!;!;!;!;!;ANYLETTERS

Now, you have to put this [!;!;] part in the box, but after that, put any letters after it that you want, but as long as there are letters at the end of it.

Step 6: Press ENTER and a thing should come up and say, "Sorry, no such cheat" ignore it and hold down enter, your money should be going up.

If you need help IM me at Evanescence0o01

Make sure and rate me or tell me if it worked!

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Ok, I like one my best guy friends and my BFF and I think he likes me as well..but he is too shy. I want to kiss him, without doing it outta no where and freaking him out. Are there are some suggestions of signals that I could send to show that I would like to be kissed?- thx

I think you're going for one of those moments where you don't expect it and you kiss all of a sudden like in romance movies. But, you should start out by just telling him you like him, that way if you went and kissed him and he pushed you away, or he was in shock and didn't kiss you back, you wouldn't have to deal with that humiliation. I don't have any tips, but I think you telling him will be better.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: well here it goes. might be long.. well me and my boyfriend have been goin out for a year.. and i hve noticed now that i am losing alot of my friends over him :-/ bc it seems like he is all i ever have time for and the only person i am ever with. i miss all my friends alot and i dont kno what to do.. i love him alot and we hve been goin out alot.. but sometimes friends r more important but, i never get to spend any time with them... or as much as i would like.. seems like im not invited many places as i used to be and my friends jus dont hve much interest in me bc im jus the girl with a boyfriend thats no longer fun. i dont kno what to do bc i kno it would be hard to break it off.. but jus sometimes with him is jus not the best and it seems like everything i do makes him mad but i cant get mad at him. dont get me wrong we do hve some great times together but i think we might jus need to go our seperate ways but every other time i hve tried breakin up i ended up wantin him back soo bad! and i jus dont kno what to do.. please give me some help and maybe leave a sn so i can contact you

signed::
xox lover OR friends?

Your boyfriend is being controlling. Thats why you've lost everything, because hes trapped you in this relationship. Thats what happens, you need to stay broken up with him, I know you love him a lot, but you've got to let go. If he cared about you, he would want you to spend time with your friends and let you be happy wherever else you are. Not making you feel guilty for having a little fun.

I'm leaving you my screen name, and I really want you to contact me so we can talk more about this, my AIM screen name is Evanescence0o01, please talk to me about this so I can help you.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I just found out that a girl at school, I knew already that we werent the best of friends called me Rude, annoying, and bitchy while talking to one of my closest friends.

History of us,
we were never friends but we never were mean 2 eachother. Last year I had mono and was on medications, I had a short temper and she or someone else sai somthing thing that mad me mad or annoyed me. She said "you have changed alot since you were sick. nit for the best either. You are mean." I said stuff back 'this is the real me i didnt change. get used 2 it." i fell bad now but i didnt know what i was saying. now i think she hates me and I want to apologize but I dont want to seem like a goody goody who wants everyone to like them.

what do i do. please help me!

If you apologized, you wouldn't be some girl who wants everyone to like her, you'd just be polite. Your bad feelings are telling you to apologize to her. She was rude to you, too. She knew you were sick and she was hard on you by saying those things, but just tell her you know that you've been different since you were sick, and you are trying to get better. Even if she doesn't forgive you, its still nice to know that you did what you could, and that guilt will be gone in time. So, you should apologize anyway, its not a bad thing to be called a 'goody' either, its just a reputation everyone tries avoiding because they think its prude and stupid, but it isn't, but I'm sure she will accept your apology.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: well ok well i broke up with my bf b/c he two timed me and so i broke up with him of corse but now i still like him and he is going out with one of my bestfriends but i know he dosent like her because he told my other bestfreind and i still like him and my bestfreind said he still loved me but should i trust him if we do get back together?

i rate high!
thanx!

Did you ever tell your friend you weren't over him? You should of told him and she would have been respectful enough to not date him. As for getting back together with him, did he apologize and have sympathy for cheating on you at all? If he didn't, hes not worth it and hes not sorry for what hes done. Also, after the break-up with you guys, did it end with the other girl right afterwards? Try to think about if its worth it if you answered no to these questions, if you answered yes to both, hes worth one more try. If you answered no, hes not worth it and you shouldn't even just do it even though you really still love him. But, I'm starting to think its not really worth it, because it sounds like he was dating your best friend to get to you, and that just makes him a jerk. So, try to think with the part of your brain that isn't in love and do the right thing.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: is it possible to get pregnant the very first time u have sex, and don't wear a condom?

Yes, but heres a comforting fact, when you have sex the first time, you are most likely not going to be pregnant, be careful next time.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: hi i'm a 13/f and im in the 7th grade. and we got our 4 and a half week progress reports today and i got a 67 in science. the teacher only took a few grades and mine jumped from a B to an F. i usually get all A's and B's and very few C's. i don't know how to tell my parents because they have really high expectations of me! Help!?

Has this part of the years work been hard? Has something happened that was stressful to you? Theres some explaination with this, you need to try finding it, have you spent too much time with your friends? Think about what could of happened, if you can't seem to remember, then you'll have to tell them you're sorry and you will raise that F, but I doubt your parents will let you right off the hook, because if you come up with no reason why, then they are probably going to blame it on your friends or boys. So think about this.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hello, I have recieved several threatening letters over the past year from my father. The threats include having me put in hospital, also stating that he has had a curse put on my daughter and myself to ensure that something bad happens to us, and general insults and abuse aimed at my wife daughter and myself. We have really had enough of this, is there anything I can do and should I go to the police ? I am convinced that he is going to pay someone to come and do physical harm to my family or myself. He is quite old and in a poor state of health, but is and has always been a very brutal person having caused misery and suffering over many years mainly to his wife and children. All I have done to promt these letters is to write to him listing his bad deeds over the years and telling him what I thaught of his behaviour, this was without any aimed insults from me. My letter to him was in response to further bad behavior on his part.

Yours and Best Regards

Daniel

Even if you feel like he won't actually do anything, go ahead and tell the police. Its annouying, you don't need to get rude comments from your father saying nasty things, its sad and annouying, its very disturbing to your family, too. So go ahead and get these letters to the police so you can stop this and not be worried about protecting your family because of this. Hopefully your father will stop his violent behavior and threats and just leave you and your family alone. You're the man of the house, so take charge with this situation and put an end to it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: well i did community service last week with my friend and a bunch of kids from my school, and we had to serve food and stuff to the senior citizens. i got assigned table 1 and so did josh

Thank you for asking me.

Josh may be into you, but we don't know this for sure. You told him you guys should hang out and he accepted, so go ahead and think of somehing you both would want to do together. The movies, a sport, go to each others' houses. Ask him what he likes to do, maybe you should find out more about him when you talk to him online, keep him talking. You know, favorite color, whats your family like, get to know typical things with him, the general questions. The next time you guys sit together, say, "hey, maybe we should talk on the phone sometime." And that will tell him to give you his number, or give him yours. Since you know hes shy, you're going to have to make the moves for now. So do what feels right and get full contact with him, that way he will know the day you get his number, you will call him. Again, thank you for asking!

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok me, joan, & laura all skipped our electives today. i need your guys help!!! idk what to do
ppl know laura did because her 2 elective teacher called her other teachers to see if she was absent! i feel very guilty & regretful. i told my parents already. but mostly all my grade knows we did because joan is very popular! so what do i do about my rep? what do i say to people taht give me odd looks? what do i do when my teachers+principals ask me questions??? I NEED YOUR HELP ADVICE-ISTS

You are obviously an A student by the way you talk about how much you regret skipping. But that doesn't make it any less wrong. I think I'm going to go ahead and tell you the only good thing that came out of this. I think something made you skip because you wanted to be like the popular kids so you could get a wake up call. Telling you that you need to stop trying to act like something you aren't, that regret and guilt is there to tell you that what you are doing or what you've done was wrong. I think you've found those feelings to know whether its right or wrong. I'm glad you got up the courage to tell your parents what happened, when the teachers and principals ask you where you were or anything tell the truth. Just say, "I skipped with Joan and Laura, I'm really sorry." Apologize and tell the truth, because I think you know that lying gets you nowhere. As for the people who give you looks, I think those are looks of students in your class wondering why a person like you would ever do something like that. But, next time remember your guilt and regretful feelings instead of the enjoyment and freedom of skipping, because you won't feel that when you do it next year and get held back.

-TheTeenGirl

bio

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.