Member Since: February 6, 2015
Answers: 95
Last Update: June 3, 2017
Visitors: 3540
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I'm in 7th grade and my parents watch the news a lot. It's always bad news. I live in America, we have a shooting every other day. The scariness started in 2014, with the ebola virus and isis starting up. I believe it was 2015 when isis chopped the reporters heads off. And throughout the year they were threatening to bomb places near me and hack soldier's twitter accounts and they attacked Paris, and San Bernardino. Then we hear very horrible stuff about how they are treating refugees and Republicans running around trying to make America into a Christian theocracy. Kids use the politicians for joke material like Trump and Cruz, but Cruz scares me because he is so against atheists and I'm an atheist! And Trump is scary too I think he'd make America very hateful. And in 2016 today for example there were like 5 bank robberies. A lot of kids dropped war games and stopped playing shooting games. I used to love those games but now not really. And sometimes I'm afraid someone will shoot up the school. A boy just got expelled out for doing cocaine!!!!!!!!!!!! And another for throwing his computer through a window trying to hit someone. Is it reasonable? (link)
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Hey!
I definitely know what you're going through, and how you feel. I myself am scared of these things happening. If you think about a lot of the things that you worry about never actually happens, and if they do happen then there's not much we can do about it. One thing I do know is that worrying won't get you anywhere. Those are the three things I tell myself every time I feel paranoid, or I start worrying over the little things. My suggestion to you is to stop spending time around the news as much. That's what I've been doing, and trust me it works! It's okay to feel scared that these things might happen, but don't overthink it.For years, our world has always been like this! Another thing I find helpful is to talk it out. Whenever you feel scared talk about it with a friend or your parents, and trust me you'll feel a lot safer. I hope this helps!
-Swimmer133
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I pick at my skin. I used to pick at scabs, and that's left me with a lot of embarrassing scars, mostly on my legs because I used to almost always wear pants, and I didn't want the ugly scabbiness to be seen, but now, I'm nearly sixteen and I'd like to be able to wear dresses and skirts sometimes, but I'm embarrassed. I stopped because my parents made me. The process itself was very distressing- they always told me I'd have scarred-up legs and arms and it wouldn't look good- and it just made me very anxious. Now, I pick at my fingers almost constantly. I can't use hand sanitizer and lemon juice is painful, and sometimes it hurts just to get water in them. I can't remember a time not doing it. In fact, I distinctly remember a time in elementary school, I'd have to guess second or third grade, that I was doing it and just pulled off so much skin on my thumb that it kept bleeding for ten minutes, and hurt like hell. Somehow, I was more relieved to have it off than I was distressed that so much blood was coming out of me. I do it significantly more when I'm anxious or nervous, but even when I'm not, I still do it. During class, there I'll be, just picking away. I do it constantly without even realizing it. I've tried to stop, but I can't fund anything that works. I've tried nail polish, I've tried just "hey, I'm not gonna do this anymore", but nothing's worked. It's painful and embarrassing and I always just want to hide my hands away so nobody sees it, and I look at other people with pretty, un-picked hands and I'm jealous. And to clarify- I pick at the skin around my fingernails, like the cuticles, not the nails themselves. What's wrong with me? Does anyone have any advice, or even sympathize at all with me? Even that would make me feel better, to know I'm not the only one to do this. (link)
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Hey!
It could just be insecureness taking over your body, or an obsession. I used to pick my skin on my face with tweezers because I hated my skin (literally), but with me, I stopped doing naturally, because if anything it was making my skin worse than it already was. But yeah like you, it sort of turned into an obsession, and I was also super insecure, so I felt better once I started picking. I think it's best if you talk to a therapist about this situation, because now that I look back on what I did I wish I had done just that. Try putting band-aids, and bandages over those injuries to a) stop picking, and b) reduce the pain. I really do hope this helps.
-Swimmer133
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im girl, 3rd year in high school and im shy...i have no close friend in my class... i finally feel i can have close friend in my class..im sitting with girl called Kaja...im sitting with her only because the classmate(girl) she was sitting last year, Dia went to study for 1 school year to Norway. they are really good friends. I really started to get comfortable with her, we laugh and etc. But I am worried that when Dia comes back Kaja will sit with her again :/..I finally figured out that i want to be friends with these two girls because i am really comfortable with..because its hard for me to get comfortable with someone bc im really shy. I am also snapchatting with Dia while she is in Norway.. Im want to text her on Facebook but i dont want her to think that im intruding between Kaja...but i really want to like friends with them....and also when im sitting with kaja at school i just want to take spontaneous selfie with her but i dont know ho she would react..and maybe post it on Facebook, or i would want to ask her if she would go to cinema, or just to hang out ...but im really scared and shy to ask her ...please help me :) (link)
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Hey!
I was just like you in Elementry school. I was always super shy and didn't have any close friends. Going into High school, it was completely different for me because I was no longer with the same people. That gave me another chance to get out of my comfort zone. Don't be afraid to go and introduce yourself to ask if you can hang out with them. Who cares what people think! If you don't try news things and get out of your comfort zone once in a while you can never learn from your mistakes, and who knows? Maybe you'll enjoy it! IF you ask them, and they're rude to you, or they say no then screw it, they're not worth your time.
Anyways I hope you go and try new things, and be confident in yourself! :)
Best wishes!
-Swimmer133
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I recently met this guy at university... We went out for coffee and for walks almost every day 9 times in two weeks. Then he asked me to slow dance with him at the school dance. This caused conflict as there is another one of my friends who apparently liked him. Anyways, the guy and I went out and he said that he just wants to take it slow. He recently came out of his one and only relationship (a short 6 month relationship) and I want to respect his space. He never was intimate with her or kissed her so I am pretty hopeful. I am unsure of what to do next... I keep remembering the dance and all of our conversations. I have never dated anyone before and would love some pointers. He seems like a great guy! He had his head on straight and is really mature. Is it okay to take time? Does he like me if he slow danced with me? Also we went on Christmas break and he went away with his family but we had a talk before he left that he wanted to take it slow as he has not had much time to think about our relationship yet. I am just really excited and I am not sure what is a safe move to make. He said there is a chance of us putting a label on it in the new semester and that it doesn't scare home he just needed some time to focus on exams (which are super stressful as he is in physics courses) and wanted to spend time with his family again. I struggle because I keep comparing myself to his old girlfriend and she is beautiful.
What do I do?
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Hi!
You should ask him to hang out, or to try something new with you (I suggest rock climbing if you've never done it before. It's so much fun and it's a good bonding and trusting activity!), but remember to give him his space, and go slow. Be yourself, guys like girls for who they are, not for their looks. Try to find things you both have in common. You can even be each other's study partner. Don't try too hard to win him over. I hope this helps.
Best wishes!
-Swimmer133
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so i kinda like this dude..???
i want to chat with him (text) but i mean like we often chat too but its like maybe few days a chat?? sometimes i wanted to text him but im too nervous... im scared that he'll ignore my message and cant seem to think of a good topic to start the conversation...
any tips on starting the conversation? (link)
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Hi!
I totally know where you're going with this and I can totally relate to you! For me, I started with a simple question and then built on from there. I usually asked him how his day went, or sometimes even a random question like if he's working that day. From there I would bring in different topics. A tip about texting your crush, NEVER and I repeat NEVER text him right away, after he texts. It makes you seem desperate or that his life is more interesting and important than yours. I know it's really hard to not do that, but I've learned from personal experience. Don't be scared to ask him to hang out sometime :)
Good luck!
-Swimmer133
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16 female
I have been talking to this guy for about 6 months now but my mom says I can't date him because the police says he is on there watch list because he does drugs but I still have been talking to him via text and I just got in trouble because mom goes through my texts and told me if I continued she would take my phone and he sent me a text saying if I wanted him to still be my friend I had to send a naked picture but what if my mom sees it what should I do help? (link)
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Hi!
Number one rule when you're on the internet, NEVER send naked photos of yourself, not just naked, but any photos that you wouldn't want the internet, or anyone to see! Once you post something online, there's no such thing as deleting it. Even if you press the 'delete' button, that photo will still be saved somewhere on the internet. Another thing about the internet, things can spread like wildfires. Once you hit 'send', or 'post' millions of people will have already seen it. If I were you I wouldn't be as worried about my mom taking my phone away, I'd be more worried about what I send and post online. My point is PLEASE DO NOT POST OR SEND ANYTHING YOU'LL REGRET!
-Swimmer133
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I'm a sophomore female in high school and I have been so confused about my sexuality. I've never dated a guy because no one has ever asked or had interest in me I guess. But for a long time my own friends thought I was lesbian because I'm a very affectionate person. I like giving hugs and I like holding hands with my friends when we walk down the hallway like idiots. But I only like giving hugs to certain girls, and I always get awkward or nervous around them. These girls were both on my team and have helped me so much and would always look out for me. I can't tell if I like them. Like I want to be with them and I want to talk to them and this will sound super weird but I sometimes daydream about them and make up scenarios about them being there for me and giving me hugs and making me feel better. That last part probably sounds really weird but I'm serious. I think I like guys. But I can't tell if I like them too. I wouldn't be ashamed if I liked them. But what am I? I just want to know who to love. (link)
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Hi!
It's totally okay to be confused about your sexuality, you're at the age where you're trying to figure out who you really are. A lot of people get confused when it comes to figuring out their sexuality. It's not my place to tell you your sexuality, but I'd say you're probably bisexual, using the information given. Don't be frustrated about deciding, because it'll come to you soon :) I hope this helps.
Best wishes!
-Swimmer133
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My friend is 14 and is probably about 85-90 pounds. She almost completely refuses to eat and when I ask her if she wants help she always says no. Who should I tell? And any advice for me to give her would be great. (link)
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Hi!
I know this is sort of my private business, but I too have suffered from an eating disorder, and I'm recovering from it. It was really hard for me to come out clean, and admit that what I was doing was wrong. The best thing for you to do is talk to her about it first it doesn't matter if she refuses to talk about it, she has to know that this is a life threating matter. If that doesn't work then talk to maybe her parents. There's really not much I can tell you, but to talk to her and try to get her parents involved, they need to be aware of this. I hope this helps!
Best wishes
-Swimmer133
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So, Throughout my entire life I have been a pretty quiet boy, sticking to myself and my close friends and that is about it. I enjoy playing video games and sports with a group of close friends, and outside of that my other social expiriences are pretty limited, especially when it pertains to a female. However, at my High School (I'm a junior, 17) there is a Sadie Hawkins dance, ( a sadie hawkins is a less formal dance, where the girl is supposed to ask the guy). Now, if this were like prom, you wouldn't see me near the school and it would not cross my mind once to ask anyone, but since its vice versa now I'm fair game. And what I thought might happeened, a girl asked me. And I can't say no to that, so I said yes. But the problem lies in that I a. have never been to a dance and don't know how to act b. can't dance like at all c. the "group" I'm supposed to go with I know litterally no one. I'm not a social butterfly, and the opportunity to meet new people and go to a dance does not appeal to me in the slightest, in fact I would rather be stuck in a plane to europe with donald and hilary then go to this dance. So the advice I am asking for is what to do, how to get myself ready for this social trek, what to talk about maybe" I am pretty lost on the subject and none of my friends are going bc they didn't get asked. Thank you for any response and fml.
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Hi!
The thing about today's society is that it's weird to come up to people and introduce yourself because people automatically assume that you're just some creepy dude. I used to be like you when I was younger, I was shy, alone, didn't have that many friends, and was picked on by other girls my age. As I got older I started to get out of my comfort zone, and became more social, what I learned out of that is you shouldn't be scared to come up to a group of people and introduce yourself to them. It might be weird at first, but later, on you're going to look back at that moment and say to yourself "I'm happy I did that!" Another thing about high school is that it's always about getting to meet new people and making new friends. It's okay to have a close group of friends, but still be able to make new friends. As for the dance, you don't have to know how to dance to go to a dance, just go and have fun! If you're scared of people judging you, then screw them because they're not worth your time. If you never get out of your comfort zone once in a while and take risks, you'll never learn. Anyways I'm not really sure how big of an impact I can make on you, but I do hope you read this and go to that dance :)
Best wishes!
-Swimmer133
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Help please I dont know what to do. I'm being blackmailed. I am a 19yr old male and she said she was 20yrs. I sent a nude picture of myself with my face in it to a girl on Kik and she said if I don't pay her money she would post it on Ellen show website and try to have her show it on CNN or something like. And ruin my life. She wants me to pay her $100 and if I do she said she would delete the picture. Im scared that she will post it and ruin my life. I can't tell my family because they would be upset at me and cause more issues. Please someone help me I don't know what to do. (link)
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What the hell is wrong with you, sending nude pictures to people you don't even know online. This "girl" you're talking about might not even be a girl at all, for all we know "she" could be a 50 year old man using a girl's photo. Are you really that desperate? I hope you learned to never send stuff like that again, let alone talk to random strangers online. I know you're 19, not 5 anymore, and I'm talking to you as if you're 5, but that dosen't mean anything, age is just a number. Let's not think about the ELLEN show right now, because guess what, photos like that spread like fire. She probably showed 50 people that photo already. I know this isn't about helping you, but I hope it helps you think before you act.
-Swimmer133
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I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help. (link)
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Hi! Everything happens for a reason, is what I like to say. Maybe you broke up with him, because there will be a better person through the way, or maybe you aren't ready to be a relationship yet. Life is too short to be mourning over a guy. Go out with friends to forget about this guy, but don't spend your time mourning over it, because you'll always find an even better person to live your life with.
Hope this helps
-Swimmer133
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Now I'd like to start off that I have depression, for a few years now, I am 17/female. I don't know how this plays into this well enough or has little.
Anyways, for thepast month my depression has gotten hard on me, all the whileI've slowly detached myself from my boyfriend, and with trying to converse with him during those weeks has made him irritated from my lethargy and dealing with me, and soon I called myself off from him and became distant to him. My feelings just started to fade, feelings for him and also I couldn't very well identify my own emotions. It's gotten worse between us and before any of this problem I had made a new (male) friend. I had no intentions to have feelings for him but now they're starting to form little by little. It's all a bit too confusing. Now getting out of the hard hit of depression I had gotten now I'm trying to work it out, but I feel like I'm rejecting a bunch of things out of fear of what'll happen. My boyfriend is sweet, caring, and I'm completely comfortable with but then, sometimes he is just so messy and disrespectful to his parents, embarrassing and boring at times. And then with this other guy, through out my worst days, has managed to make me laugh, talking almost non-stop. While my boyfriend has made me feel pushed away, like what went on inside didn't matter, now all I can explain is "I don't know what's going on inside, I'm sorry" and its tearing me apart if its just depression dampening my emotions or if its legitimate, any of them. Thank you if you read all of this. (link)
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Hi! It is tough to be juggling depression and a boyfriend at the same time. My suggestion to you is to take a break from dating, and concentrate on you. Spend more time with yourself first. If you spend too much time with him right now, he'll think that you're putting him before yourself. Talk about this with someone you're close to, it always helps for me.
Hope this helps
-Swimmer133
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HI!
I want to do the #KylieJennerChallenge but I want to make sure it is safe. Can anybody say for sure? If it isn't safe then how do I get lips like Kylie? (link)
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Hi! The Kylie Jenner challenge can actually leave scars on your lips or your lips can be permanently disfigured. There are other safer and better ways to achieve fuller lips. The first way may sound a bit sketchy, but I've seen makeup artists do this before, but you can draw them in (not like Miranda Sings), try going onto Youtube and searching it up, but I wouldn't recommend this, because it's harder then it looks (personal experience). The second way is a bit more slow and takes more time, but use an exfoliater not only does it naturally make your lips fuller, but it also softens them.
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Lately, I've looked at other girls and realized I'm not as pretty as they are. I have thick frizzy long hair, it's kinda a dirty blonde, pale skin, and my face seems plain. My dad doesn't let me wear makeup (even though I'm almost 17) so I look ridiculously awful. Can anyone give me any fashion tips on how to look pretty naturally for my face and hair please? And please don't say Im beautiful just the way I am, because I want to change my look more than anything. And any tips for hair straightening? My mom won't let me use a relaxer, and it takes forever to straighten my hair, and I can't ever seem to do it right. I also have to do it myself because my mom claims going to the hair stylist is "a waist of money" (link)
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Hi! Honestly I think all girls are naturally beautiful, and sometimes makeup can look trashy. Try using a leave in conditioner for your hair, and try not to blow dry your hair as much, or use any heat products that can give you frizzier, dryer hair with split ends which stops hair growth. Get your hair trimmed. Another thing you can do is try fun and cute hairdos (yes it will work with frizzy hair). It's actually a good thing you're not allowed to wear makeup, because it's harder for the skin to breath. If you have acne use a face wash twice a day (I recommend Clean and Clear), and be sure to moisturize. If you think your skin is too pale try getting a natural tan from the sun, but be sure to use sunscreen to prevent sunburns. If you really want "makeup" use Vaseline for the affect of lip gloss, or a tinted lip balm.
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Well, I am not so sure if he 'spanked' or 'smacked' my buttocks but he did something like that. He called me over to his desk which is in class, I was in trouble for something I didn't write. He told me to stand closer to him and when I did he started smacking/spanking my butt as punishment! I was standing, he didn't tell me to bend over and I still had my skirt on but he used his bare hands to do it. He did it a few times but it didn't hurt. I still wanted to cry though because I was so embarrassed!! Some of my classmates were laughing and others were saying its not right but my teacher told them that its 'OK' if its punishment!
Is it really OK if its punishment? Are male teachers allowed to do that to female students? I didn't tell my parents because they are very protective and freak out for pretty much everything! I am 14 and female. (link)
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Hi! What your teacher is doing is not okay at all, and is probably not tolerated with the school. What he did can be considered sexual harassment or rape. The only people that are allowed to touch you are your parents, doctors, or someone you really trust, but not a teacher. It is best to tell your parents about this situation, or someone you really trust, if you don't the actions may continue. For him to say it's a "punishment" could just be a stupid excuse. IF you're not okay with his actions you need to take action yourself and tell a trusted adult.
I hope my advice helped
-Swimmer133
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So i have this friend who gossips about her friends way too much I don't know if she does it as a topic of conversation because she just doesn't know how to start a convo with someone (that's how I was in elementary school cause I didn't know how to make friends but I'm not this way anymore) or that's how she genuinely is cause every time I talk to her it's like she's gossiping about a best friend. Then the next day you'll see her hanging out with the same person she just talked bad about. Usually the people she talks bad about are my friends too and even though I wanna tell them what she says I can't because I don't like spreading rumours and wouldn't wanna break friendships anyways. What do I do about this friend? How can I get her to stop talking bad about her friends? (link)
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Hi! It's ridiculous how rumors can spread like wildfires. The best thing to do is to tell your friends. You're not breaking a friendship, because a true friend doesn't talk behind their friends back, it was never a friendship. If she wants to talk bad about them then she should do it to their faces unless she's too scared to do so. Also your job as a bystander/witness is to say stop, and don't add fuel to the fire.
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Hi Im Jay and Im 15 and my boyfriend who's 17 is forcing me to send him nudes. I told him about 5 times that im not comfortable with putting myself out there like that but he says he doesn't care and that i should do it for him and if i don't I'll regret it big time. I hate how he gets mad at me if I don't do something he wants, and I'm scared of not doing it cuz he'll get mad and hurt me. I just really don't want to send him nudes and idk what to do he won't take no for an answer. I need advice please help. (link)
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Hi Jay, Just because a guy tells you to do something doesn't always mean you have to do it. What he is doing is completely wrong, and he has no right to hurt you in anyway. Right now you're putting yourself in an abusive relationship, and the best thing to do is to cut it off with him. He's not worth your time if all he wants from you are nudes. You said that you might regret it if you don't send him nudes, but you have to think about the bigger risks if you do send those nudes, not only will he be able to see them, but the entire world. With technology nowadays it's easy to post pictures on social media with just a click/press of a button, and imagine how many people with a piece of technology would be able to access these photos, and even if you do delete the photos from the internet it's still stored somewhere. Once you post something online you can never take it back/down. Please think of the bigger risks you're putting yourself in if you do send the nudes, vs making him happy. Your happiness is more important that his. Don't do something for him that'll make him happy, but will be the biggest regret of your life. Once again these are just words of advice and I can't tell you what to do, but I do hope you really think about it before doing something you regret.
-Swimmer133
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i am 13, and i live with my adoptive parents. my real mom had me at 16 and got me token away when i was very young. i have always said that i would not be a teen mom, that i would wait for after marriage. but yesterday i found out that i am pregnant. how do i tell my parents? and i will not get an abortion and i don't want to give my baby away. so how will i tell my mom( that is 6 months pregnant) and dad that their 13 year old daughter is pregnant and wants to keep her baby? (link)
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Hi! You have to understand that having a baby is a lot of work, even if you're a grown adult, and a single parent. You have to give up a lot of your time for your baby, and a lot of yourself to the baby. Even if you have people to support you it's still a lot of work. The best thing to do is to put the baby up for adoption. There are a lot of teen moms who have to drop out of school to care for their baby. I'm not trying to tell you to give up your baby, but I want you to know what you'll be putting up with throughout your journey. Another thing I also want you to keep in mind is that taking care of a child is A LOT of money!
-Swimmer133
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People shouldn't get abused .
its not right ... this world is so cruel .
I've been sexually abused all of my life . The thing that kinda kills me the most is that it was my own Father . man I swear I talk way to much . I have such a big mouth for the wrong reason ... I know I need to tell someone .
but im to scared I wish someone could do it for me ... but I know I have to .
and you cant help someone who wont help themselves... man sometimes I feel like just ending it all already and just commit suicide .
I cut myself do everything and cry but I just cant keep myself together . I hate my self my body . it's all my fault .
- just a stupid 14 year old girl who let people touch her because she was to scared to ever say anything .
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Hi! First off don't ever think this is your fault....EVER! There's not much I can tell you besides ask for help! You need to get your voice out there to any trusted adult. This could be your mom, a consular, a teacher etc. You also should not be embarrassed to tell anyone, because there could be someone out there that went through what you are going through right now. I hope this helps
-Swimmer133
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so my guy is around girls you know. I wouldntbe THIS jealous if he lived here and I could do something about girls hitting on him, but hes alllllllll the way across the world so I haveno control. every timei tell him about my jealousy, he always tells me about the ways that they couldn't have him that no one is better than me etc. I know hes telling me the truth, for surei do. but I still cant get over that girls are looking at him. again, I wouldn't mind much if he lived here, but what am I suppose dto do with my jealousy until he moves here in a couple of years? (link)
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Hi! First off how would you know if girls are looking at him if he's all the way across the world? When you're in a relationship with someone you have to trust them, because you love them, but if jealousy is consuming you then the best thing to do is take a break from this relationship until he gets back. Harsh, I know. If he's living all the way across the world then you should break up and date someone that is actually living where you're living, because you cannot let jealousy take over you like this every single day of your life. Usually people are jealous because they're paranoid, so have you ever had a relationship where your ex cheated on you? That could be the reason why. Anyways I hope this helps.
-Swimmer133
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