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I don't understand my sexuality, what am I?!
I'm a sophomore female in high school and I have been so confused about my sexuality. I've never dated a guy because no one has ever asked or had interest in me I guess. But for a long time my own friends thought I was lesbian because I'm a very affectionate person. I like giving hugs and I like holding hands with my friends when we walk down the hallway like idiots. But I only like giving hugs to certain girls, and I always get awkward or nervous around them. These girls were both on my team and have helped me so much and would always look out for me. I can't tell if I like them. Like I want to be with them and I want to talk to them and this will sound super weird but I sometimes daydream about them and make up scenarios about them being there for me and giving me hugs and making me feel better. That last part probably sounds really weird but I'm serious. I think I like guys. But I can't tell if I like them too. I wouldn't be ashamed if I liked them. But what am I? I just want to know who to love.
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Hi!
It's totally okay to be confused about your sexuality, you're at the age where you're trying to figure out who you really are. A lot of people get confused when it comes to figuring out their sexuality. It's not my place to tell you your sexuality, but I'd say you're probably bisexual, using the information given. Don't be frustrated about deciding, because it'll come to you soon :) I hope this helps.
Best wishes!
-Swimmer133
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Hi there,
I can tell you're confused and probably a little nervous about what you are. Sometimes, people think they may be gay or lesbian but they don't know or are confused like you. But you are older. A sophomore is usually 16 so I'll assume you're at that age or you soon will be. If you've been feeling this way only for a few years, there's nothing to worry about. Just like you said, you are an affectionate person. That's normal. One of my friends who we thought was lesbian for the longest time is just like you and hugs people constantly and is super cute like that. If you are like her, odds are you are straight. But if you have been having thoughts like that since you were younger, yet you think you like guys, you just might be "Bi". It means you like BOTH boys and girls. I also have a friend who's bi and he used to describe to me the same thing you did with your thoughts about wanting affection from certain people. It's okay to like both genders. There is nothing wrong with being lesbian, bi, gay, or straight. You are still the same person. You may like someone different than your cultures "norm" but in the name of love, BE DIFFERENT! And if you ever date a guy and you don't really feel like it's right, that's okay. And if you end up actually liking those two friends of yours that I will assume are also female, go for it. Tell them how you feel. Don't be afraid of rejection. At least tell them how you feel but only because you are seeking for comfort or help on what they think about your sexuality as well. I really hope this helps! ~glasses
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You're a Sophomore in High School which would put your age in the range of 14 to 15 years old. IF you were a Lesbian you would know this long before puberty started. Doctors and scientists are starting to understand that being Gay is not a life choice it is how a person is born. They are not as certain about bisexuality.
Given you present age being somewhat confused about your sexuality is normal. Given that you have not date or had much or any interaction with boys and that most of you social interaction has been with girl friends. I would say you are over analyzing things.
I can't say why boys haven't taken an interest in you. IF your a late bloomer then it could be your body has not changed enough to attract a boy. This is nothing to worry about for it will and when it does they will come. The flip side of that coin is you could be too pretty and boys think they are not good enough for you. Teenage boys have very fragile egos and don't accept rejection well. It just might be that you will have to go up to them and start conversations and ask them out.
The one thing I am sure of is that you are not a lesbian. Being affectionate does not equate to homosexuality. There are plenty of gays and lesbians that are far from affectionate.
My advice is to relax. There is no need to rush and have sex just to have sex and prove you straight or gay. As you mature your sexuality will make itself known to you. When it does you will be ready to explore your sexuality. Right now your not.
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It doesnt sound to me like you are lesbian no. For most, they are more sure of themselves even as a young person.
It sounds like your personal space boundaries with people and friends are just different then most. I also am really close to my friends and have even had straight girls start to "gravitate" if you will towards me, simply because i am there for them more then most of the males they date or relationships theyve been in before in the past.
I have one friend currently who broke up with her babys daddy and we've hung out alot since (simply because her man is now in jail, we've known each other since we were 14 and were now almost 30) but THEY didnt know that and assumed that we much be "together" because shes happy and doing well right after the brake up.
((the reality is, im just THERE for my friends MUCH more then alot of other people are)) and i think that because good friends are hard to find these days, people arent used to it and think something MUST be up with that.
You might notice that people dont know what it means to be a good friend anymore, so they are shocked to find someone thats willing to go out of their way to help/be there during a crisis/etc. Being a good friend is something thats usually taught or learned by watching people as you grow up and seeing the relationships others have with each other. No one just grows up KNOWING how to be a good friend. Parents are supposed to teach that and BE the example, and all too often its a little part of what people think of when raising their kids these days.
Ive both kissed and held hands with female friends before but never went beyond that because the bottom line is that i like guys and had a man.
Think about how you see yourself one day in the future, you have hopes and dreams of your ideal life? Of maybe eventually getting married to a guy? having kids? if you can actually SEE yourself and feel like deep down thats what you want one day then i dont think your gay. I think your young, your open to others, and your boundaries vs. others around you is simply different.
It might be a good idea to think about how you would be with a boy friend vs. how you be with just a friend (affection wise) because a FRIEND might actually feel uncomfortable with the level you speak of, where as with a boyfriend that would be appropriate. There are certain types of touching too that could lead someone LIKE just a friend to believe that about you, so think about HOW you want to be viewed by your friends when it comes to showing certain types of affection. You dont need to be overly affectionate to be a good friend either, so think about some of these things as you think about boundaries and being a friend.
good luck ; )
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