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First Dance
So, Throughout my entire life I have been a pretty quiet boy, sticking to myself and my close friends and that is about it. I enjoy playing video games and sports with a group of close friends, and outside of that my other social expiriences are pretty limited, especially when it pertains to a female. However, at my High School (I'm a junior, 17) there is a Sadie Hawkins dance, ( a sadie hawkins is a less formal dance, where the girl is supposed to ask the guy). Now, if this were like prom, you wouldn't see me near the school and it would not cross my mind once to ask anyone, but since its vice versa now I'm fair game. And what I thought might happeened, a girl asked me. And I can't say no to that, so I said yes. But the problem lies in that I a. have never been to a dance and don't know how to act b. can't dance like at all c. the "group" I'm supposed to go with I know litterally no one. I'm not a social butterfly, and the opportunity to meet new people and go to a dance does not appeal to me in the slightest, in fact I would rather be stuck in a plane to europe with donald and hilary then go to this dance. So the advice I am asking for is what to do, how to get myself ready for this social trek, what to talk about maybe" I am pretty lost on the subject and none of my friends are going bc they didn't get asked. Thank you for any response and fml.
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Hi!
The thing about today's society is that it's weird to come up to people and introduce yourself because people automatically assume that you're just some creepy dude. I used to be like you when I was younger, I was shy, alone, didn't have that many friends, and was picked on by other girls my age. As I got older I started to get out of my comfort zone, and became more social, what I learned out of that is you shouldn't be scared to come up to a group of people and introduce yourself to them. It might be weird at first, but later, on you're going to look back at that moment and say to yourself "I'm happy I did that!" Another thing about high school is that it's always about getting to meet new people and making new friends. It's okay to have a close group of friends, but still be able to make new friends. As for the dance, you don't have to know how to dance to go to a dance, just go and have fun! If you're scared of people judging you, then screw them because they're not worth your time. If you never get out of your comfort zone once in a while and take risks, you'll never learn. Anyways I'm not really sure how big of an impact I can make on you, but I do hope you read this and go to that dance :)
Best wishes!
-Swimmer133
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Hurray for what advice man said, it saves me the typing cus my sentiments are exactly the same.
As to not knowing how to act at a dance or with a female, the best way to learn is to just get out there and do it, its called the school of hard knocks because you will learn but part of your learning will be from making mistakes and hopefully learning from them to not repeat the next time.
One thing that has relaxed me when starting something I don't know, and yes even meeting people is to admit that I am nervous and have no experience but I am willing to learn. Facing ones fear of looking dumb or stupid as far as lack of knowledge is the fastest way to make that fear go away. So as to how it translates to you, I would let the girl know that you are happy she asked you out, thank her (cus this is an opportunity for you to learn social skills) and let her know you haven't really dated or talked to girls much so you have little experience and may say and do some things wrong. Ask her to please forgive you ahead of time as its not on purpose but due to lack of knowledge and you welcome her letting you know if anything you've done is not proper and to let you know what she would like, even as to what subject to talk about.
Then with dancing, I know many guys who can't dance and those who said they couldn't. But you don't have to be a star dancer, if you can recognize a beat and tap a foot to it, then you can bop to a beat while pretty much standing in place. If thats still a bit too much for you, then consider just the slow dances. You get to hold the girl close, let her rest her head on your shoulders if she likes and just sway from side to side slowly in place and maybe slowly turn in a semi circle as you do it. Don't watch your feet as you make more mistakes that way. Worst case scenerio is if you keep stepping on her feet, say sorry and dont give up, tell her to stand with her toes on top of your feet and you will be taking steps for both of you and getting used to that can be fun and hopefully will have you relaxing and laughing. good luck
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I am going to advise you to relax, suck it up and in and go to the dance. What you write about being a problem for you is the biggest problem facing this country’s youth and most of the Western world’s youth today. Too many of you sit with your X-Box and other video gaming devices and play online all day and night. Doings so you have wasted what high school and your teenage years are meant to give you; which is the opportunity of learning the social graces you will need later in life.
I'm sure you have heard your parents say something to the effect of, "Put down your video game and go outside and play. Well the play is a fall back to when you were much younger but the inference is the same. When you went out to play you were learning to interact at you age level. In high school dances and other activities the school sponsors along with dating is the next level of interactive and communicative learning.
College brings the next level and prepares you to go out into the real world were communication and interacting with others is the key to success. Communication is the key to success in business and in love. If you cannot communicate with your lover everything from dating to sex does not work out for you no matter how much you may love someone.
I'm not only old enough to be your grandfather but you being 17 statistically I am old enough to be your great grandfather. Use the wisdom of my years and the fact that I have already gone through what you have and will be going through. So when I tell you that you need to get out from behind the video games it is in your best interest to listen to me if you wish to be successful as an adult. Go out and learn to communicate and interact with others. Use this dance as a first stem and then continue to move forward.
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There's nothing to be worried about, you'll do fine. If your feeling nervous around the other kids just stay by the girl that asked you. She'll probably introduce you to her friends so you don't have to be that social, just act friendly. Dancing can be hard at times, but its pretty easy once you get the gang of it. Watch other people and try to dance like them. Then when you feel comfortable try out some moves yourself. If you feel left out, or nobody's talking to you, there's no shame in calling for a rude hime., just tell her you feel sick. Just try to have a good time, you might even like it! Also, I don't think anybody would rather be in a plane with Hilary and Trump, XD
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