Whatever your problem is, chances are I have dealt with it- either directly of indirectly- at some point in my life. I've worked as a Social Worker (with issues like mental illness, addiction, disabilities, eating disorders, etc.)
I've also taught school (to teens!)and have experience mentoring them.
In addition to that, I've lived in 4 different countries, many different cities, and worked jobs in all different fields from Software Sales to Fashion Designer.
This diverse life experience has given me knowledge on a wide variety of topics- which I hope I can put to good use here. :-)
So go ahead- ask away!
PS- I do not judge people or speak to them in a condescending way. However, I will be honest and tell you what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear.
Gender: Female Location: New York Age: 34 Member Since: July 15, 2007 Answers: 181 Last Update: June 24, 2009 Visitors: 12814
Main Categories: Mental health Love Life General Sex Questions View All
Favorite Columnists DangerNerd
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14/f
I'm seriously way too horny all the time. I've been this way since I turned 13 and I don't know what I can do about it. Is it because I masturbate to orgasm so frequently? 4x a day or every 12 hours. It distracts me from being normal. Like I'll be watching a movie or trying to do something social, and all of a sudden i feel my pussy throbbing and i get goosebumps all over my body and my clit feels enflamed. and my mind fills with sexual fantasies that I can't get rid of. I also get horny every time I sit down. And then I have to start riding the seam. Whenever I'm alone i start touching myself even if i'm not really masturbating at the time.
Random things can trigger this response, like i'll get super horny looking at a woman or girl... Or a man. teen-middle age. And I have random sexual thoughts about every 4 seconds i'd say. I've talked to my mom about this but she doesn't help she's just like "YOU'RE SUCH A WEIRDO. TAKE A FRIGGIN COLD SHOWER!" But cold showers don't help me they just make me hornier because of the temperature difference.
Do I have a problem with my libido? What can I do about it? This seriously distracts me from normal daily things that I have to do.
also- i'm going to a boarding school next year where i'll have a roommate and the bathroom in the dorm is like a public bathroom with stalls and stuff, not a 1-person one. How can I continue masturbating every day? I use a sonicare toothbrush and it's kind of loud.
any advice appreciated. (link)
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You are a teenager, your hormones are raging, you discovered something new that feels great- so this is normal.
Don't worry, it will start to wear off. It's like when you find a new song that you love and play it over and over, then it loses some of its appeal. You still like it but only listen to it every once in a while.
As for the dorm, that will be kind of hard because you don't want someone to find out and be embarassed. Even though I'm sure they do it too, some kids can be cruel. So try to keep this under wraps. Use your fingers quietly and try to just do it when no one is around.
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(I know this is long, but it's a problem i've dealt with for such a long time and i'm just looking for relief)
For about half my life, about seven years, I've had severe anxiety. Panic attacks, feeling short of breath, paranoia, just feeling very anxious in general and feeling like someone with metal gloves is holding onto my lungs.
I've been on and off zoloft, taken Xanex in emergency situations where I felt like I needed to be taken to the hospital, i've had therapy and go to an alternative school and everything along those lines, but I can't seem to feel better; my anxiety just won't go away.
Now, my Mom's always been pretty 'spiritual' I guess you could say, and she believes in souls, heaven, angels, things like that. Well, i'm a twin, but my mom was supposed to have triplets. She ended up getting a reduction for whatever reason that i've never really been told.
But anyway, my mom always thought that I could tell that the baby was killed, and that I was aware of it, and somehow it's affected me. My Dad's never really been a big believer of that kind of stuff, and he's always just thought I was working myself up too much. Which i'd frankly much rather believe.
But last night when I made the analogy to my Dad of someone grabbing my lungs, he said he thought he knew what was wrong with me.
So today he comes up to me, with my Mom's mindset, and says that he thinks that when the baby was killed, somehow it's soul went into mine, and now it's trying to get out. So he want to take me to some specialist.
I'm not sure what to believe, because i've always thought this stuff was crap. So what i'm asking is:
1) Do you think that could really happen?
2) What else might be done to cure my anxiety?
and 3) Just, what should I do?
(link)
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You poor thing! I think I would be anxious too if I were told that my triplet's ghost that was 'killed' was somehow haunting me!
Even if you did have some kind of soul connection with your triplet who passed on I would think that he / she would have nothing but love for you He / she would have no reason to harbor bad feelings or ill will towards YOU because YOU didn't do anything wrong. If anything, he / she would be angry at your parents or whomever 'killed' them- so maybe your parents are putting their guilt or bad feelings about this on YOU?
I think you should see a therapist but don't let your parents pick a kooky one that is going to subscribe to this junk that they're feeDing you.
That's not healthy, and it's enough to make anyone feel nuts!
I'm sure there are probably other causes of this anxiety too, but only a professional therapist can help you get to the root of it.
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15/f
I always feel like I'm being watched(stalked)...and I think my house maybe haunted! Especially at night..in my room there's this china doll above on a shelf and I always have a feeling like it's gonna move..you know..like it's possesed...I don't know why I feel like this and I want it to stop! (link)
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This stuff is pretty normal. epecially at your age. It may be annoying but I don't think it's anything out of the ordinary or anything to be too concerned about.
Unless you start hallucinating or having voices telling you to do things or something of that sort then I think you're fine. If it gets to the point of being an obsesssion where it's interfering dramatically with your life or ability to function then I'd worry.
But from what you described I think it's just normal teenage stuff. =)
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15/f
There were many times when I felt like killing myself because I'd hate my life and I'd get into deep depression, like I'd cry myself to sleep...I wanna stop feeling that way, but I don't know how! Well, somedays I'll feel all great, but than other days I'll feel really depressed...I'm just hoping that one day it doesn't go too far so that I'll actually kill myself! What can I do to prevent myself from suicide??? (link)
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I've been there before too and it's hell-ish. You won't be that way forever though, you will come out of it. But you may not be able to get out of it without professional help.
A good start is seeing a professional counselor. Can you talk to your parents about this and get them to take you to one? A psychiatrist can also give you meds, if necessary. But you need to be very careful with the meds because some people, especially teenagers, can actually get worse on the meds. So you have to be monitored very closely if you choose to go this route. I don't want you to exclude that option though, because for other people they do work very well. So that doesn't mean don't try meds, it just means be alert.
If at any time you do think that you could go through with it and are a danger to yourself, call 911. You can also call a suicide hotline, but from my experience those aren't always that great. They often have volunteers working there who are not licensed professionals.
One more thing- make sure that you are taking care of the basics- that's VERY IMPORTANT.
Remember this acronmym: HALT.
It means don't let yourself get too:
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Not eating, lack of sleep, isolating yourself from people, all of those things make it WORSE, so try to at least take care of those basics.
Meantime, things WILL get better. You don't think that now, but they will.
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my friend is in real trouble she is 14 doing drugs, drinking, smoking and sleeping around and i have just found out that she wants to overdose. But she won't tell me why, I've asked her and i keep trying to help her. I told her to let her mum no why she wants to overdose or see the school counciler because she won't tell me why.Everytime I try to help her she tells me to f up and that she hates me. and all of my other friends keep telling me to leave her alone, so they have all turned on me. All im trying to do is help her before she does something stupid what do i do? (link)
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Your friend sounds like she's really in a bad state and she's either is not willing or not capable to help herself. So that means that someone does need to step in and see that she gets help, especially if she could be a danger to herself.
You need to tell her parents. If they don't take it seriously or want to get her the help that she needs then speak with the school counselor. And if you think she could be in immediate danger of overdosing or attempting suicide- call the police. It's very hard to do something like that but in a case like this you are better safe then sorry.
Whatever you do, don't try to solve this problem yourselves. Your friend needs professional help. She may be angry at you for doing this but if she would do the same thing for a friend in that position. And people in that kind of condition, especially doing drugs, are not in a rational state of mind. Their thinking is distorted, so don't worry about whether she says she hates you- just do what you can to get her professional help.
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Everytime I'm with my boyfriend we make out, h.j's, b.j's, fingering.. like all of that stuff... we do it like alotttt. atleast 4 times every time we're together.. so like, 4 times in 5 hours. But do you think he's using me? like I feel like he always wants to do stuff!
what do you think!? (link)
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Some people have strong sexual appetites than others. You don't seem too happy with the size of his appetite.
So you should talk with him and see if you can't come to a compromise that can make both of you happy.
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okay so i started cutting myself in 8th grade and now im going into 10th. half the time i dont even know why i cut. i just get the worst urges and if i dont cut the urges just keep getting worse and worse. i really want to stop but i just cant. i hate that i cut myself but it seems like theres no way i can ever stop. and no im not doing it for attention. please help. (link)
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Here's a trick that can help: put a rubberband around your wrist. When you get the urge to cut, snap the rubberband and it will sting you.
You get some of the same painful release as you do in cutting but without causing serious damage or scars.
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I just got a guinea pig from petsmart today. They said I could hold it and pet it. But when she got home I tried to pick her up but she had her claws out and was scratching me. I put her back down. When I try to pick her up will she claw me, then get calm? Because I want to hold her. Please give me some advice! If she stays mean I'll just leave her in her cage and leave her be, but it will be sad to know that I wasted $113.oo on her, the food and the cage!! (link)
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I hope she's not pregnant! My brother got one once and she started acting weird like that and then we soon found out why- she had babies!
And supposedly she was separated from males so this wouldn't happen.
Anyway, she might just be scared and be getting used to you and her new home. Be patient, don't give up on her. Animals have to know that they can trust you and need to change to the new environment.
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I'd like to learn how to become a better artist. My problems are shading, and making things look realistic. Also, I need help with clothes, hair, and anatomy. Does anyone have tips or pictures they could give me about the things I've named? Websites are fine, it would be great if they had all sorts stuff like drawings and tips on them! :]
Clothes - I'm not that creative :[ I'm not sure how to draw wrinkles, etc.
Hair - I'm not so creative on this area either + I'm not sure how to shade the hair, etc.
Anatomy - I can't really draw hands, the body, and legs etc. Sorry I tried my best to explain! If anyone give me tips from their own experience that would be great! Thanks! (link)
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I think that's great that you have something that you're really into like that.
If I were you, I'd get some books from the library. There are lots of books that can give you step by step instructions on things like those you mentioned. While you're at it, you can also check out some books that have works from the old masters and discuss their techniques. Some of these books (especially with a lot of pics) can be big bucks, that's when I mentioned the library.
I know it's kind of a pain to go there, but you'll find much more then I think you would on the web.
Also, try to go to as many museums or exhibits in your area as you can- there's nothing like actually seeing the 'real thing'. You will pick up tiny details that you can't see in a book or on the web.
There are always classes too, if your parents will let you go. If not, you can start your own little art club- find some people who also like drawing and help each other to improve and share ideas. You can have contests like who can draw the best curtain or something..you know, just have fun with it. The great artists ALL had a network of another artists that they collaborated with.
That should be enough ideas to get you started! =) good luck.
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is being wet having discharge? without the good feeling or whatever...and if not then what is being wet and how do you know its coming?
(link)
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Are you talking about getting wet when you get excited (aroused)?
If so, that is natural. It's your body's way of providing a natural lubrication so you will be ready for intercourse. If it didn't get wet that it would be very uncomfortable to have sex.
And being wet has nothing to do with cumming. Cum is what is released after an orgasm (females can release a fluid too, but not like guys do).
Hope this answers, your question was kinda vague.
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why are people always like "oh you shouldnt have sex you're too young, wait for marriage." just because one person believes you should wait til marriage doesnt mean everyone else does and has to abide by that. people shouldnt be judged on what age they want to have sex at. it is THEIR opinion. and if they regret it, at least they learned from it. everyone makes mistakes. it is their OWN lives and people shouldnt tell them how to live or what to do.
i know I HATE when people tell me what to do.
i can make my own decisions. (link)
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ALL teenagers hate when people tell them what to do.
And ALL adults which they could teach teenagers some lessons from the stupid mistakes that they made as teenagers. LOL.
This is just a fact of life. Has always been like that, and probably always will be.
Some things just don't change.
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What is the difference between the ACT and the SATs? Which do you think is better? Thanks for any help! (link)
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How strong are you at math? That's the big question because the SAT is only 2 subjects: math and language arts (english).
You are scored 50/50- so to get a really good score you have to be pretty strong at both unless you are EXCEPTIONALLY strong at one and it can make for a pretty good score on the other. Does that make sense?
The ACT, if I remember correctly has like 4 subjects (and don't ask to to name them, that was a while ago!) But it has more of a range to test your ALL-AROUND skills.
Like the other poster, I got in on my ACT scores. If you can afford it, I would take both and see. Ya never know! Maybe you'll surprise yourself.
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im going to be a freshman next year. actually school starts in about two weeks but whatever. and im going to a new school and theres a ton of people at my school.
and in middle school i had 2 boyfriends and a lot of friends.
and next year im going to the high school my middle school feeds into so its not like im moving anywhere.
but im worried since im going to a huge school with so many people that im not gonna get a boyfriend or i might loose my friends right now.
am i worrying too much? (link)
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EVERYONE gets nervous before school starts. If you don't believe me look at the hundreds of related posts here or ask any adult that's been through it.
So don't worry, everyone is in the same boat that you are- nobody is any better or worse off.
you will do fine. just be confident and try not to take anything too seriously. that's the person that people like to be around. be fun, friendly and feel good about yourself and others.
=)
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My puppy is sick =[
Shes had her prvo. shot, so its not that. Shes been puking since saturday. We thought bc of the heat and she was outside bc we were having a party. But shes still puking. She ate yesterday, some hot dog. And her puke was like hard, you know like regular dog puke. And today its watery, Meaning she doesnt have anything in her tummy. Anyone have an idea of whats wrong?.. Dont say go to a vet, bc we dont have the money right now.. and I just want an idea of what might be wrong.. Thanks (link)
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Call your vet since you were just there. It may just be a reaction to the shot so ask. They won't charge for the phone call.
you can also give dogs pepcid ac, which sometimes helps if it's just an upset tummy. I would call the doc first just in case. check the dosage for your dog though- can look on internet or ask vet.
If it keeps up though, you need to go to a vet.
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ok im not annorexic so dont get any ideas, im totally just curious. do you get used to the feeling of being hungry? do you always feel hungry .. or does it go away eventually? and do they not eat AT ALL, or do they just eat like a couple hundred calories a day .. again im only just curious. (link)
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They're basically always hungry but some of them are so sick (mentally) that they actually like the feeling of hunger. Hard to get if you don't have it, I know.
They also sometimes use tricks like drugs, smoking etc, which of course then just gives you ANOTHER addiction to worry about...so that's not too good either.
Everyone's different though so I can't say what all anexorics do. Some only eat a few calories some not at all. And the damage can be irreversible because when your body is THAT starving it will start eating ITSELF!! No lie, your body starts feeding off of your own tissue, your heart weakens...bad all around.
so now you have the low-down.
=)
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this sounds kind of weird but when people say stuff to me i never know what to say back. i read in a magazine that the best way to talk to some one is ask them questions, but i tryed that and i eventually felt like i was interviewing them or something and it was really awkward. like..what are some funny things. or just things in general to say to people when they say something funny to me?> like i know it depends on the situation, but i need good comebacks. like lines lol. any effort is appreciated :) (link)
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I can't give you any specific lines because good converation is about 'going with the flow', you just have to be relaxed and confident and go wherever the conversation leads you. There are no rules really.
It's like teaching someone to dance- you may be able to show some general steps, but it's really more about just being confident, feeling the music and letting the music tell you what to do.
But one thing you CAN do is observe someone who you think is a good talker. Listen to what they do and get some ideas. You don't want to copy them exactly, but just see how they interact. You may get some good pointers.
Last but not least, practice! Even if it's with your family. Start talking more and you'll get better- it's just like everything else you have to practice. So that means less texting and emails and more speaking! You'll get the hang of it. =)
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Ok so if you have sex in the jacuzzi, wouldnt water go up some hole? And doesnt the sperm swim around.. o_o
This might sound stupid but its major curiousity right now! (link)
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Please remember also that you can still get pregnant having sex in a hot tub. There are rumors that you can't, don't believe that.
As far as the othe stuff of the sperm swimming around, I don't think you'd notice anything! Can water get up you? yes.
That's the best I can do. =)
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alright so i have my period and my boyfriend wants to have sex, and cum inside me what is the chances of pregnancy if we do this? (link)
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Sperm can live inside you for DAYS, so you can still very easily get pregnant even while on your period.
So please, for your own good and his, don't risk it. It's not worth it.
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My anus hole is really itchy... is that normal what should I do about it?? (link)
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You might have hemorroids. Have you been constipated lately or having a hard time going? The best thing to use is preparation H- in any drugstore or grocery store.
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When will signs of pregnancy start showing up? (link)
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They may not. There have been women who had babies and never even knew they were pregnant.
So if you think you may be then you should get a test asap. If you can't go to a dr. or get a home test from the store then find a planned parenthood in your area. They give tests, education, etc. either free or almost free. Here's their website:
www.plannedparenthood.org
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