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Website: Straight UP Advice Onedayatatime
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Member Since: October 10, 2008
Answers: 68
Last Update: November 1, 2008
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So me and my friend not talking because some people was saying that i was saying stuff about her and they almost ruin my relationship with my friend so i went up to my friend and we was talking but now we not the same we act like normal friend so wat should i do??? (link)
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ADVICE
Your friend needs a little time thats all. If she is a good friend she will find out soon enough how these other so called friends really are. My suggestion is just be you, if you know the things that where said by others are not the truth. What goes around comes back around you know. Their true colors will shine through eventually, and I am almost sure your friend will see that she can trust you once again. Its hard to deal with other people who like to start trouble for whatever reason. It will take time, but I am sure you guys can work it out, and get back to being as close as you once where. I would tell your friend how mush you miss her, and that you would never do anything to hurt her in anyway. I would also let her know how much it hurts you, yourself that she believed them over you. Friendships require maintaince from time to time. Just look at this as a small bump in the road. Just give it a little while and give her time to process it all. The heart to heart talk is very important for both of you, so I do recommend doing that for sure. This way you have done all you can do and have made the effert. I hope this helps some, let me know how it goes...
onedayatatime .w
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ohkay well i like this guy... and i THINK he likes me back, because he's teasing me that i like him!!!!!!! its soo annoying T.T
but i dont know, because hes the "class clown" soo, he might just be teasing me... AND he took my cool sharpener (its a baseball with a weight on the bottom so it spins) so i let him have it cuz, i like him LOL.
back to the question, so can anyone answer my question, if a guy teases me, does it nessecerily mean he likes me???? (link)
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ADVICE
Gonna give you my own personal experiance on this one. When I was in high school I got picked on ALL the time by many differant guys all at once. I always thought they did it to be mean, but years later I did find out that some did have an actual interest in me. It all depends on the guy, alot of class clowns will do anything to get attention. If this guy goes out of his way to seek you out and never leave you alone, he is investing alot of time into it but what for? Two answers for this one.
!. He really does like you but does not know how to go about it. Could be his friends might not approve or he is getting picked on about it himself.
2. He is doing it because of the feedback he gets out of your reactions. Maybe your a fun person to pick on. It could be a form of entertainment in a time of boredom.
But I leave this up to you to find out. You will have to flat out ask him. But even in doing this you may not get a truthful answer. You best bet would be to do this in private or over the phone with this guy. I would not do it with other people around.
Most guys in school will do anything to fit in, and peer pessure makes it even harder, when one person, or more than one persn does not think a girl is cool or pretty, they can be cruel. Not only to you directly but to the guy that may like you. I hope this helps a little, and I wish you the best of luck in finding out. However if you do get an answer out of him, let me know what he had to say:)
onedayatatime
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ok so im sure you get a lot of questions like this but i just need some help
ive been dating my boyfriend for 8 months, almost 9 months and i didn't start loving him till about about four months, and now i can't imagine with myself with anyone else like i really love him and i don't know what i would do if we broke up like even everyone says we make the perfect couple like we've never even had a fight and we've been dating for 9 months almost and i see him everyday and night and i can't explain it i just love him a lot.
well we have a new guy at school he starded this year there, well he messaged me all the time on myspace and stuff and we talk in school quite a bit and im not gonna like he is pretty hot and i don't know theres just something attracts me to him and well he sent me a massage how he thinks im cute and wants to hang out. hes 17 turning 18 amd im 16 turning 17. i mean i love my boyfriend sooo much but out of no where it seems like im starting to like this new kid and i really dont know what to do i feel guilty sometimes because because my boyfriend will catch me staring at this kid.. what would you do if you where in my position? (link)
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ADVICE
Being in love is great, and sounds like you and your boyfriend have a nice thing going. Your still young though, and its normal to be attracted to someone else. this is the thing you need to ask yourself though. Spending alot of time with someone new that you are attracted to will compromise what you have with your boyfriend. Basically you are leaving yourself open and could eventinally develope strong feelings for this new interest. My suggestion is this, to not feel quilty in any way. Be upfront with your boyfriend, tell him you need a break or some time to figure things out on your own. You guys are still very young. It takes time to know what you want in life, and who you really want to be with. I would follow your heart on this one, and be honest with them both. Just dont base everything on attraction alone. Its the overall person that really matters. I hope this helps and you an your boyfriend can reamin on good terms with any thing you decide. I dont believe in being sneaky in any way its never fair to anyone. We all get hurt, and we all move on, its the way life is. But always follow your heart, and be upfront its best for everyone involved no matter how bad it might hurt.
onedayatatime
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How can I stop my negative behaviors?
I am at a weak point in life right now and am only becoming weaker. Life was always difficult. I've experienced an extraordinary amount of loss of various types--deaths, break-ups, a broken home, etc. I suffer from depression and low self-esteem, but I have never really seen a therapist about either of these. I crave love and acceptance from others but not openly because I fear being completely rejected. I carry myself in a way that nothing seems to bother me but I'm hurting deep inside.
I have been having sex with this man that is a little older than myself. He is not my boyfriend and I know he is really just using me. This is purely just sex with no intellectual connection what-so-ever (it's gotten to the point that we no longer even make small-talk before engaging in the sexual activity). I have told myself that I am with him only to feel like I am still desirable at some standpoint, even though I know he just wants what's between my legs--nothing more. I wish I can have a man who's mine and who will love me, but I feel completely undesirable and giving my body to this man is the only way I know how to "fix" that. This situation is only making me feel colder inside, and it's getting to the point where I feel that my soul is truly dying.
I feel like right now my self-respect is dwindling and I'm acting like a completely tramp. I KNOW I'm a whore for doing this (and I KNOW this so there is no need to spare my feelings in your response). I feel like garbage and, in the end, I know I will be played like I'm a piece of meat, used and discarded of when nothing more can be pulled from the bone. I just don't have any friends or anyone else around me that seems to CARE about anyone but themselves. I'm lonely. I feel terrible. I know I'm making a bad situation incredibly worse. I don't know how to stop, how to fix this, or how to be different.
What can I do to help myself? (link)
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ADVICE
Having sex to fill a void only sets you up for hurt and maybe even death, if your not careful. Deep emotional stresses and pain deep within can cause people to do many differant things. This sounds to me like a very limited fix, almost like a druggy so to speak. When your actually in the act of having sex you feel some compassion and comfort, which your getting sole attention for. But once it is over with you feel that same emptiness and feelings of being lonely again. You may even get angry at yourself for needing that quick fix. The truth is this behavior will destroy your life or any attempts of long term happiness. You need to find a way to feel that same fix but without sex being the answer. You need another outlet. When your feeling lonely and need some attention turn to your friends. Ones with enough will power to not sleep with you and take advantage of you. Lean on your family, and become more active. Taking up a hobby or intrest to focus on is also good. To make things easier I suggest satifing yourself alone in private. If this is not something that takes any prssure off that feeling and not being with anyone sexually, puts you into a deep depression, I would suggest seeing a professional. Deep seeded issues cant be resolved overnight. It seems to me that this most likely is a subconcious reaction and a temperary fix when it comes to sex for you.
onedayatatime
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16/f
i'm normally an honest person but about recently i just got a new boyfriend. he's amazing and i could never wish for a better boyfriend. i want to keep him with me forever!! but i told him a lie and i regret doing it! and its a pretty big lie too. I told him that i finger myself but i really don't. I havent even worn a tampon yet! and i really really really really REALLY do not want to tell him that i don't finger myself because he will get mad that i lied and he told me that he really wants to finger me and if i tell him that i've never done it then it will all just crash and burn. we've been talking that when we are going to hang out again soon, that he wants to finger me but i'm not sure what to do. help!!! i don't know what to do! (link)
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ADVICE
Ok first off I believe anyone who you decide to be sexually active with you should always remain honest and hope that they will do the same. As far as your situation, I would be honest in the fact that you have never done this before. You could tell him why you where scard and lied. The fact is alot of guys like the feeling of being first on something. It might even give him the feeling of being special, because this is something new and differant for you. I will also say this, never under any curcumstances do anything that you are not ready to do. Make sure this is something you want, and its not being pushed on you, or you feel pessured into. Never give up the person you are to suit someone elses urges. I hope this view point helps.
onedayatatime
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I've been with my boyfriend for like 1 year and sometimes I just can't stand it. I'm just so jealous. everytime I see his ex girlfriend, I get jealous. she is super gorgeous and cute like a kid and he's a kid at heart and I can see why they went out. I'm so jealous of the relationship they had. but sometimes I still feel like he doesn't love me like he says he do. when I think about it,I just feel so heartbroken and lonely. I can't break up with him cuz I love him. I just don't know what to do anymore. (link)
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ADVICE
Sounds to me that you feel very threatened by his X girlfriend. This does place a major facotr on your own personal self esteem issues. Do you feel as if their is some kind of competition between you and his X? Often times we feel overwelmed by being faced with actually knowing or seeing someones X. It does bring alot of self doubt, and you find youself asking, why is he with me? Communication and honesty is a must. I think that you feelings of lonelyness and heartbreat are based on your fears that your boyfriend is still interested or still may have some feelings for his X. This is actually very common with alot of people, so do not feel alone on this issue. I can tell you this all relationships are different for every couple. Do not compair what you have with your boyfriend to anything your boyfriend and your X had. They will differ almost always. Dont base your feelings on those kinds of past issues. When he says he loves you, but you dont feel as if he really does love you, I am almost sure that he does love you. The thing about all loves is that they are differant and can feel differant. You can have a love for your animal, you can love somene as a friend, you can love a favorite food. All variations of love, they are all true but on what level. I will make a suggestion, pretend like you know nothing of his X, what she looks like etc. Take all that knowledge and information and put it aside. Then look at what you and your boyfriend have without the X comming into play at all. I will also tell you this, you will never feel truely loved by anyone until you love yourself first. Work on what you have and dont fear the whats IFS. The what if questions will kill any good relationship when you cant let something go. It will drive a person to leave, or do something dumb. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.
onedayatatime
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I have the cutest homecoming dress and it cuts off right before my knees but I put it on with my shoes today and my calfs looked totally huge...does anyone know anyway of making them look smaller? I know there's prolly not a way but.....yeah haha (link)
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ADVICE
Well I am not an expert on this matter at hand, but I do find that dark stocking and some super high heels made a world of differance, when it comes to making my calfs look smaller. I hope this helps and have a great time at homecomming I am sure you will look beautiful.
onedayatatime
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I gave my heart to this boy named Darshak Patel...I loved him and he said he loved me..i no he loved me n i hope he still does, We went to NYC and went to the park and had a awsome time there.so many memories.Then school started and we didnt really see eachother...then he wouldnt call me at all. so i looked on his facebook page and it said he has been flirting with girls and then girls were leaveing him flirty comments and then one of them said see u tommaor night...wtf noo! son i started this whole thing n he got mad..the worst came quickly, He took naked pics of me n put them on facebook and added all my friends. i was soo scared..its not that bad in school its just like i miss him alittle, But then he calls me and he is like o can we have phone sex and im like no.so then he hands up and says ur not goin to do it so i dont wanna tlak to u..His voice is soo sexy its not even funny.i still love him.what do i do i hate him for wat he did...omg what do i do. (link)
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ADVICE
First off, no matter how sexy his voice is, you deserve better. No one should treat anyone that way, and their is no excuse to make what he did ok by any means. Your going to have to put aside your feelings for him, and love yourself enough to move on. This is easy to say, harder to do when feelings of love are involved. Truth is you should know deep down this is not the right guy for you. I suggest finding some new interests, and dont make the situation worse by checking up on him. He has already proven what kind of guy he is. YOU DESERVE BETTER!! Always remember you have to truely love yourself and know what you want out of any relationship for it to work.
onedayatatime
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