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Hello, my name is Sam. There's a lot that I can say about myself, but if you'd like that then you could always message me and we can have a nice cup of tea together :D

I am not very old, so I might not have too much life experience, but I do like to help people. I know that life often throws unexpected blows at people, but I am so extremely optimistic. Hopefully some of my optimism will rub off on the people to whom I am giving advice. I am happy to help with anything! :)


Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 17
Member Since: February 24, 2007
Answers: 477
Last Update: October 17, 2011
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I mastuerbated to internet porn and i feel ashamed like i have cheated on my girlfreind. would you consider this as cheating on her i love her soooo much! please help
(link)
Hello.

I personally would not consider this cheating. And the fact that you feel ashamed about it really shows a lot about your character and shows that you really do love her. Try not to feel too badly about it, but I suppose that if it cause you to feel badly then maybe you shouldn't do it again in the future? It's just a thought.

Take care


If you've recently been heartbroken, how does working out help you, especially mentally? (link)
Hello.

Well I took a Psychology class last year and remember that a study showed that depressed people who did any form of exercise or sports improve dramatically and quickly (even more so than those who saw a psychologist regularly). It has something to do with the feel-good hormones that are released in the brain while exercising. I want to say that the name of the hormone is dopamine but my memory fails me. Immersing yourself in any type of sport(team sport if you're still in school)or other method of exercise will help you tremendously. I wish I had been on a school team post-break up X).

Well take care and good luck!


I am so upset right now! I am tired of feeling like I am never good enough for him. I never do anything right and he always has to tell me. It hurts so bad, why can't fathers just love their children, and not have to make them feel like no matter how hard they try I fail. (link)
Hello.

I understand where you are coming from. I sometimes feel the same way with my dad. It's like he doesn't understand me, he constantly bothers me about trivial things, and he always expects me to do better. But despite this, I know that my dad wants what is best for me, and he has high standards for me because he wants me to excel in life.

I honestly feel like children have a better relationship with both their parents when they are away from them for a while. Parents try to control their children because they want no harm to come to them, but there is a certain point in a teenager's life where the teenager feels capable of making his own decisions.

I feel like your dad loves you. Think about it this way: If your dad didn't love you then he would just let you do anything you wanted, wouldn't care if you were "good enough," and wouldn't make you feel like a failure. All of these things that you described seem really harsh and hurtful, but the fact that he care about you at all shows that he has love for you.

Sometimes when I feel that I can't bare my parents any longer, I remember that I'll be leaving for college one day. Once I do, I'll feel free and independent and little less pressured. You can think of it that way if it helps you deal with this.

Or, the alternative would be to talk to your father about this. You can tell him how you feel and that you love him and would like to feel like you are loved as well. it might be difficult to talk about it, but it ultimately it will probably be worth it. Or if you feel more comfortable you can tell you mother about your feelings and maybe she can try talking to him for you.

I wish you the best of luck with this. Always believe in yourself no matter what others say or what they make you feel. You are in control of your future and you are definitely good enough.

Take care


I want to get a tattoo that says "you live you learn" written in italian. However, i want to make sure that i have the correct translation before i get it permanently wtitten on my body. can anyone translate that? (link)
Hello. Actually when you reverse the translation of "Voi vivete imparare" back into English, it says, "You live TO learn." So it's slightly different. But remember that most languages do not translate word for word to other languages.

I know you asked for Italian, but I can give you the French and Spanish ways of saying the same phrase and confirm the accuracy.


French: Vous vivez vous apprendez (voo-vee-vay, vooz up-ron-day)

English: Vive (y) aprende (bee-be (eee) ah-pren-de)

(the "y" means "and" and makes the phrase "you live and you learn, making it sound less awkward)

Italian: (not confirmed but based on the spanish version, I'm fairly certain that this is grammatically correct:

"vivete (ed) imparate" (I am not familiar with the proper pronunciation.)

(the "ed" meaning "and" was also added for a less awkward sounding phrase)


Take care



okay i'm 16 and i lost 30 pounds but I still have a little of a tummy, so i was thinking of wearing a corset, but i wonder if teens wear them? Im not trying to wear one to be trashy (link)
Hey.

I don't typically see any teenagers wearing corsets (I'm 17) but if it is your style then I don't see why it would be a problem. But also there are certain undergarments that cover your entire torso and are designed to hide a tummy.

http://www.goneblue.com/boshslnliun.html

I'm pretty sure that a store like Victoria's Secret that sells undergarments would have more options like this.

Good luck :).


My period ended 3 days before schedual. I have stomach pains. Light headed every time I walk around. My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex two weeks ago. Saying all this, could i possibly be pregnant? How would I tell my mom? I'm only 16. (link)
Hello.

What I understand from this is that your period just ended? I didn't think this was possible but I found this link:

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_you_be_pregnant_but_still_have_your_period

You might be pregnant. I don't want to scare you by saying this. You should take a pregnancy test before you tell anyone. The sooner the better.

As for telling your mother, just remember that your mother loves you. She will probably be upset but it is more natural for a mother to support her daughter. If you are pregnant then I can't stress enough that you need to tell you mother or father. You will need them the most and they will help you make the right decision.

Take care sweetheart


hi! I was wondering which kind of purse would be in style for the new school year? the slingbag? or a normal purse? a lot of girls have slingbag for summer, but im not sure if theyre gonna use that for the school year? im about to buy a new purse :) thank you so much! (link)
Hello.

So I loooove sling bags haha. But for school I use a messenger bag which can be worn like a sling bag if that look suits you. Or I've also seen larger versions of sling bags which can fit notebooks. If your bag is too small to fit a notebook, you can always just use it for your pens and carry your binder and larger books.

http://i2.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/590/draft_lens1445386module13456312photo_1231948994girls-messenger-bag.jpg

http://laurabucci.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/messenger-bag1.jpg

PS: Any purse sold at Urban Outfitters would be considered "in style."

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/category.jsp?popId=&navAction=jump&isSortBy=true&navCount=0&pushId=WOMENS&id=W_ACC_BAGS



Happy shopping :).


i have a pair of jeans, and they're soo plain. i want to wear them out, like make holes in them, fade them, and make them softer. but how do i do that, and make it look like i just bought them out of the store? the jeans im trying to fade look like this..

http://www.purple-oval.co.uk/lg_images/Lee_Bell_Dark_Wash_Boot_Cut_Jeans.JPG

i want an effect like this..

http://www.denimology.com/2008/08/nicole_ritchie_3.jpg

they're soft. worn out, faded.i heard about using salt in your washing machine, but wont that ruin the washing machine? or will salt stay in the machine and ruin other clothes that i wash? thanks for any ideas anyone can come up with. (:

(link)
Hello.

I was going to type out a long explanation, but then I realize that wikihow will probably say it better than me.

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Distressed-Jeans

Happy distressing. :)


I am 14 years old, and I would like to know, is it possible that I have a gum disease? I brush my teeth twice a day. I used to not brush them at all, but its not like I did that everyday. I did brush them, just not twice a day like I do now. I know the damage is already done, but I'd like to know what this is. A couple of my teeth are just a TAD loose, but not seriously loose. I've noticed that my gums appear to be "falling apart" for lack of a better word, but its only my bottom gums. My mom told me that if I brush my teeth, they'll get better, but I feel as if brushing them will destroy the gums more. When I first noticed it, I started FREAKING OUT! I started crying, and worrying about dying. I know this was an exaggeration, but you cant blame me for feeling ugly, destroyed, hopeless, and alone. (link)
Hello,

Hopefully I don't completely sound like I don't know what I'm talking about but have you considered that it may just be gingivitis? My brother had it for a while and his orthodontist told him to make sure he brushed and used mouthwash. The problem cleared up by his next appointment (about a month after). I know this is scary and it's natural to panic about it, but I honestly think you will be fine. You can ask your mother to take you to a dentist if you are seriously concerned and I'm sure the dentist will calm your fears. If not, then just keep up what you are doing and it should clear up.

Good luck and take care


i got a new pair of jeans that i like a lot but they are a little baggy.. so i want to get my jeans tailored to be tighter.. how much does that cost? and i also heard that getting your jeans tailored to be tighter can ruin them.. is that true? (link)
Hey

It shouldn't cost that much. Maybe $10? Definitely not more than the jeans themselves.

The only way you jeans could be ruined is if they have weirdly designed stitching on the sides. Because in order to tailor them the fabric on the sides will be sewn in, it would look awkward for some of the stitching to show but not all of it. I always sewing my jeans tighter on the sewing machine and they turn out fine. No one can even tell :). And besides, tailors are professional people so I would trust them to not mess up.

Good luck! :)


So I have all sorts of scars that I'd really rather not have. None of them are huge, but they're all fairly noticeable. I don't have a ridiculous amount of money and I've heard that scar removal doesn't really work? I heard this from a doctor who does surgeries that my mom works with. My scars arent as big or deep as surgery scars... they're just from like falling off my bike as a kid or whatever. Same goes for hair removal.... I've heard that it doesn't permanently remove hair but it sometimes permanently reduces it? I'm not like furry or anything but I have a lot more hair than a lot of girls and I'm very self conscious about it. Right now I'm pretty tan and my body hair got light from the sun too but in the winter it's pretty dark and I'm pretty pale so that makes it work better right? Do some places do a better job than others or is it all the same equipment? If anyone could share their experience with either of these or someone they know then that would be great. I'm willing to spend the money if it will work but I don't want to otherwise. (link)
Hello.

I can't say I know anything about scar removal but laser hair removal works. I'm having it done currently and I'm only 17 and it not only reduced the hair but permanently removed it. My mother had it done as well several years ago and her legs are smooth and completely hairless. The only problem is that the process is long because treatments are spaced out roughly a month or two apart and it takes about 6-10 treatments to actually remove all of it. So it can take about 2 years to get it all gone and in the meantime you still have to shave. However I think it's well worth it and because you have the money it's very worth it. I am going to recommend American Laser Center because that is where I get it done and it is a large company. They are professional and they use modern machines. Sometimes laser doesn't work because the machines are too old or the people who are doing the procedure are only trying to scam people.

Good luck with this!


So I am in love with this Chanel floral-print silk mousseline dress. But my budget would NOT allow me to buy something this expensive. Where could i possibly find a lookalike for a much smaller price? here's the link to the dress:

http://www.chanel.com/fashion/data/1280/hautdebit/rtw/18/_img/zoom/39.jpg

Thanks SO much! :)♥ (link)
Wow, this is beautiful.

It seems to be in the realm of forever 21 styles so I would try there. It definitely looks a lot more high end so perhaps a store like Macy's of Bloomingdale's would have something of the sort. I also think that an actual vintage store (not the regular cheap thrift store) would have potential. But of course that might be costly. I also have a personal love for Betsey Johnson dresses which remind me a lot of this flowery print, short length, and frilly design.

If all else fails go to a fabric store and find a similar print then find a seamstress or someone who is at least capable of sewing and willing to help you out. I have no clue as to how much this would cost, but I'm sure you can first go to the seamstress and show him/her the picture to get an estimate.

Good luck with this! :)


im 14/f and im going into 9th grade. i am embarrassed to go "number 2" in the bathroom. i know everyone does it and i shouldn't be embarrassed, but i can't help it. sometimes there are girls who just stand in the bathroom and talk so it's embarrassing. i asked my mom and she didn't really know what to say. what do i do? i guess you could say i'm regular haha so i have to go every morning :/ and people notice so ugh it's just embarrasing and annoying. sometimes i hold it all day and i know that's probably bad and then i feel bad about it. please be nice thank you for the answers :) (link)
Hello.

Well have you tried going in the morning at your house?
Also, you could go when the first bell rings to go to class, that way most people will be headed to class.
Also, you could ask for a hall pass and go during class, but then you might frustrate teachers or it might interfere with your learning.
Try before school and after school and go to the least popular bathrooms.

And it's okay that you find this embarrassing because we are all have different insecurities. Just try to remember that we tend to focus more on others judging us than we do on judging others. So most of the girls talking in the bathroom are probably too busy with their conversation or their own insecurities (their hair, outfit, make-up,etc.) to even notice or care about what you are doing in the bathroom. Just think about it.

Take care


A girl that is 5'4-5'5 too tall to wear heels? In middle school I was taller than most guys and I think ever since then I think of myself as "too tall" to wear heels. Im going away to college and I wanna dress a little bit more girly and I think wearing heels will be a big step up!.. Thanks!! (link)
Hello.

I'm 5'4-5'5. 5'4 is the average height for American females. That being said I think the "average" woman has at least one pair of heels. My friend who is 5'7 wears heels and I think it looks lovely. Perhaps don't wear 3 inch heels though! 1-2 inch heels will look great and wedge heels look great with anything and are very comfortable. Congrats on going to college, I personally can't wait for it myself! :)


Take care!


So I pasted a conversation I had on the Facebook messenger thing (on the site)and pasted it onto my Word Document (which is where I type out ym diary). And then all these little postings happend!

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r155/wind_miko/OHNO.jpg

And I wished that I could undo everything and prevent the pasting from happened but I freaked out, SAVED, and logged back in and those symbols are like everywhere and they will not DELETE! Like when I pres delete or the backsapce, it deletes the letter on the symbol's left!

Please hlep! I don't know if this is a virus, or what?

PS! I just opened up a New Word DOcument, and that pargraph symbol is alreayd on there! And every word I type, there's a dot in between! (link)
Hello.

It's okay! This is just a different setting for Word. You probably accidentally clicked a button for it or typed the shortcut. Not to worry. Try pressing CTRL+* (same as CTRL+SHIFT+8).

If that doesn't work, then try this link.

http://word.mvps.org/faqs/formatting/NonPrintChars.htm

Good luck!


for the past week i have been on a strict diet

ill have 80 calorie bread with eggwhites
for breakfast wih a coffeee (always use half and half)
lunch ill have a small froyo or skip it
dinner will be a protein or ccereall

as you can see i eat very little and im very strict.

today i had a froyo, then 2 bowls of fiber 1 (this equals 400 calories believe it or not) then for dinner i had a chicken salad.

however my weight keeps fluctuating. ill loose a pound then gain 2. i dont get it. i am hardley eating!!!!

please spare me the lecture about body going into starvation mode so you gain weight.....

why am i not loosing? (link)
Hello.

bread-80
coffee/half&half-22
egg whites (2)- 34
froyo-110
fiber 1- 400

You're looking at approximately 500-600 calories per day here. As I'm sure that at one point you used to eat much more than this, your body will have to adjust to this change by retaining as much fat as possible. You already know this, but I just want to point it out because the way I've lost weight in the past was differently.

Personally I think you're going to have to eat in the 1000-1500 calorie zone if you want to get anywhere with this weight loss.

Also, it helps to eat various times per day as opposed to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. By spacing out meals and especially skipping them as you are doing, you are actually slowing down your metabolic rate. The more often you eat, the more you force your body to process food quicker. Eat many snacks rather than few meals.

Also, lots of water is great for weight loss. It helps cleanse your body and regulates your digestion.

PS: I think that the chicken salad is a good idea. You should incorporate many vegetables into this diet of yours.

Anyway, good luck with this and take a multivitamin!


I feel like I got something moving in my stomach....thing is I've had my periods like normal an everything I just had it two weeks ago an I havn't done anything! thats kinda weird to me, feels like gas sometimes but a day ago I had an upset stomach, but now it feels like the gas is in my stomach! any advise anyone? :( (link)
Hello!

Eat an antacid tablet i.e. tums or have some alka seltzer. It might be digestive issues.

Or, did you drink a lot of water? Sometimes I get this weird feeling when my tummy is full of water. I feel like a water bed. I'm sure it'll be okay in a few hours if not by tomorrow.

Take care and good luck :).



He cuts me down and treats me like a little kid. Nothing I do is right. He play fights with me in front of his friends but is super rough almost like he enjoys hurting me. When he does that and yell me if I cry he'll just call me a baby.I'm not super annoying either, I try to help him in school so he wont fail and all he does is want to copy my work and he talks about other girls around me. He started doing this when we got in the tenth grade. Idk what to think? (link)
Hello.

I don't know the best way to say this, but why are you still with your boyfriend? You say that there are many problems in the relationship and that he hurts you and disrespects you. Don't you think that you deserve to be with someone who shows you love? Maybe your boyfriend is nice to you sometimes but you need to be with someone who will be kind to you at all times. Please don't stay with him. I know that it might be impossible to see your life without him but it is necessary that you get yourself out of this situation. High school should be fun and relationships should be enjoyable. I really hope that you break up with this guy. Your life will be so much better once you do.

Take care and good luck.



This next year will be my senior year, but I am graduating early. I have six mandatory classes:

AP US History, AP Gov./Econ., AP Eng. IV, Pre-AP Pre-Cal, Pre-AP Physics, Anatomy.

I registered for another class, the Academic Decathalon. This is a rigorous course where you study intensely everyday over a topic, and this year's is the Great Depression. You go to competition in December and January and then the rest of the year you can do whatever you wish.

Last year I was in Accounting for a diverse elective and we went to Regionals in UIL.

So, my question is which adjustment should I make to my schedule, I can either be lazy or show off to colleges:
The Acadec and an Off period (What I have now.)
Accounting II and an Off period
Acadec and Accounting II
or 2 Off periods.

HELP!!! (link)
Hello!

How strange, a person after my own heart! I almost took Academic Decathlon this year. But I attend the school that won the national title this last year, so obviously the try-outs weren't easy. I did not make the team and I was very upset at first. My schedule this year is very similar to yours, though less stressful I would say. I'm sure you know that AcaDeca is not a light commitment and that it will absorb nearly all the free time you have. And taking 3 AP classes on top of that will mean that homework may take a back seat.

It sounds like you would really like to do Accounting II and AcaDeca, but what I suggest is that you only do one. I'm guessing that you're applying for college in which case it may be helpful to know that AcaDeca is the number 1 extracurricular that you can put on your application. Colleges LOVE this. But you also seem like a qualified student so perhaps you already have a great deal of extracurriculars on top of excellent grades.

Also, speaking of college, applying to colleges will take a moderate chunk of you time away as well. It really just depends on how many private schools and colleges you are applying to. More applications=more time dedicated.

How do you handle stress? I know that personally I am miserable when I have too much stress but some people are able to thrive in it. Really think about how many hours you will have to sleep, hang out with friends, and even do homework (especially with Acadeca).

I am also wondering if you know that Acadeca is not 1 subject but rather 10. The Great Deression is only one of those subjects. Visit USAD.org for more information. (If you already knew this sorry! I didn't mean to insult your intelligence, lol).

Lastly, you're graduating early! This in itself is a great accomplishment and I do not think it makes you seem lazy at all. It is quite the contrary actually!

I'm sorry that I don't have one answer for you, so I will limit it down to 2. Take an off period and either Acadeca or Accounting II, but please don't take both. I want you to have some freedom. :)

Take care and have a great year!

Class of 2011!


How low is too low for a body mass index? I understand that anything under 18.5 is technically considered underweight but I was just wondering if anyone would like to share what they think is absolutely too low for BMI.

I am a 19yo F and my BMI is 16.58. I used to have some "disordered eating" but I am not restricting calories or overexercising, and my doctor did not appear to be overly concerned when I got my physical last week. My period has stopped, though, and I've increased my fat intake (avocados and nuts) but it has not returned (I know that I can't be pregnant, so it's not that). I eat when I am hungry, and try to not eat when I'm not hungry (though we all have those overly-indulgent days). If it has any salience, I do not eat gluten because of an intolerance that emerged roughly about the same time as my disordered eating.

If this is just the weight that my body has chosen to maintain (after being even more thin while disordered), is there anything wrong with that? I was always naturally very thin growing up, even before my disordered eating (though my BMI was around 19.5). I'm afraid that although I am fine with being this weight, others will find me too thin, and my missing period makes me nervous, but I also don't want to make myself uncomfortably full or stuff my face with unhealthy food! I'm just eating how I feel like eating, without thinking about it. Sorry for being so long and confusing!


&Thanks (link)
Hello.

I wouldn't say that there is anything wrong with the weight per say but the fact that you haven't gotten your period in a while should be concerning. Missing your period for long enough can make you infertile. It is possible that your body is not receiving the adequate nutrients that it needs. I'm sure the gluten intolerance does have something to do with this because it limits high calorie grains, right? (or at least to some extent) I would suggest that taking a multivitamin may help restore your period but it might also be helpful to see your doctor or a nutritionist and explain your concern. Trained professionals can inform you much better than I can. Your food choices sound healthy as well but perhaps because you have had an eating disorder in the past you already have a tendency to eat less than an adequate amount. I suggest that you eat more snacks in between meals or perhaps eat slightly larger portions than you already do. This may help. Good luck and take care!




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