freshcutroses's advice column

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Q: i dont have the new AIM.. so i guess i have the old aim. so the timestamp goes up to 24 hours or i guess its called army time i think and i would like it to go to 12 hours.. so how do i get to do that? and the time on my computr only goes up to 12 hours so i dont think its the computers problem.. also i think that the font is kinda messed up on my AIM which i think the normal default is times new roman size 12 and now the defualt font for AIM is arial size 12 bold.. and im not talking about the font that i type with, im talking about the fonts that i see in peoples profiles and away messages that are supposed to be times new roman.. if you could help me with either one of these, then thank you very much and you'll deserve a 5! thanks

no, the fonts that are on peoples away messages and profiles are in the font that that person put them in. if they are all in times new roman, somthing is wrong.

Q: Every time I seem to get "physical" with a guy,
I start to lose interest in the guy. It's like,
"Oh, well. We went all the way. There's nothing more
to do, and you're starting to bore me anyways."
I feel like one of those guys that uses girls,
but the weird thing is, I'm a girl!
Shouldn't I be the exact opposite of this?
Does anyone else feel the same way?
I mean, it's so annoying that I always lose interest
in someone after we get physical and I really don't want to!
Because how will I ever get married or anything?
Suggestions?

haha, i actually understand this! ive hardly been in a real relationship, but everytime i get close to one, im just like, "oh all the fun was reeling him in. now that ive actually got him, now what? this is boring!"

im sure that you and me are not the only people like this in the world. im confident, that for both of us, we'll find somone we truly love, so we can get married!

Q: I just moved and I want to get a new bedspread and paint my room.

I was thinking of either getting a yellow bedspread and painting the room a light purple or getting a purple bedspread and painting the room a light yellow.

Which one sounds better?
The only thing is I can't find any yellow bedspreads, so if you can find some online please post the links. Thank you!

And also i'm 15 so I don't want a really fancy type bedspread and I don't like designs like stripes or big polka dots or hearts or anything like that.

i personally love yellow walls, and yellow walls would be less vibrant, i think, and easier to change around. (yellow walls still match if in a couple of years you decide to get a blue, or pink bedspread.) purple would be harder to work around in that case. but on the other hand, purple is one of my favorite colors, and a light purple would be beautiful. if you choose purple, choose one shade lighter than the shade you actually want. a medium shade, although beautiful, will make your room seem smaller and once its on the walls it will seem dark. so go with light purple.

Q: okay so i was wondering if anyone knew of any condensed version or notes of the ap world history book world civilizations: the global experience 5th edition ? if you could send me links/stores that might have it, that would be really helpful. thanks.

course-notes.org

im not sure if it has your book. it has mine, but mine is fourth edition

Q: Okay so there is this kid i have been liking for a VERY long time. lets call him aaron.

Well me and aaron are REALLY good friends and stuff and i knew he has been liking this girl dana for a while. So one day me and him both went over our friend chris's house. And he was like flirting with me MAJORLY!! always getting so close to me. And then when we all went home chris asked aaron if he liked me and he said idk. and then chris asked aaron if he still liked dana and he said no.

but then like after that he kepty ignoring me in the hallways, and like not talking to me as much idk why. I was first on his myspace top and now im like last and the 2nd girl.

But then like dana told chris to tell aaron she likes him. and chris did and then aaron asked her outtt!!!!!!! =[

but ever since they were going out, he has been talking to me SOOO much and in the hallways he is ALWAYS trying to get my attention now, but i kept ignoring him.. but then today he moved me BACK to number one on his top!! And he is still going out with Dana.

I don't know this whole thing is so confusing. I don't know what he is trying to do. I need to figure out this guy.. Helpp!! =(

you may think that you are confused, but just imagine how aaron feels! look at what his emotions have done, just in the last couple days:
im guessing that the night he was flirting with you, he had forgotten about dana. he liked/likes you, and thats why he was all over you.

the next day, maybe he regretted leading you on like that? especially with dana in the mix? (even though she was technically out of the equation.)

then when he found out dana liked him, he just jumped on it without thinking. so now, even though hes dating dana, he realizes theres no reason to shun you.

maybe analysing the situation like this will help.

Q: hey everyone, i'd really appreciate your time and input, i'll keep it short :)
there's this sweet guy i've known for about a year now, he's not like other guys i've seen: he's a great listener, very observant, humble, and kind to everyone.
we've known each other for about a year now, and have the same group of friends, didn't know him that well then. but recently he's opened up a little. i've noticed he laughs a lot at my jokes, moreso than other people do, (and they're not all that funny). it could just be that he's nice. but just recently he started to touch my arm, gesture to me, get my attn. over little things and mentions my name a lot(i'm excluding some tidbits to shorten this). a lot of girls are attracted to him, and he's known our groups of friends(who are mostly girls) longer than he's known me, so i'm wondering what this new comfortableness means. and i just found out that he's going to europe and at the end of the trip he's going to spend 3 days in paris w/a girl from school who'll be there too(but she apparently has a bf). i don't know this girl, but my friend says he doesn't poke her or anything, but then who feels comfortable enough to go hang out w/a girl he's known only for 3 months in a diff. country?have i misinterpreted these signs, does he like her instead, and me as just a friend? please help!!! thank you!

im sure i dont have the whole story, but remember- just because another girl from your school just happens to be in europe at the same time he is and they planned to hang out, it dosn't mean he likes her! think through that part of the story- you're thinking of the worst case scenario! take a step back and look at the situation as a whole, and i think you'll see that the paris thing is not really a big deal. (although, again, i dont know the whole story, and what exactly the relationship between these two is.) with that aside, i think you should go for him, he sounds like a super sweet guy! dont miss oportunity, you just might regret it!

Q: is confidence really sexy to a guy?, like cause i don't think i'm super attractive, but my personality is pretty good, but i just wanna know if guys like a girl whos confident?
&other ways to know if a guy is into you.

thankss.

look at it this way: wouldn't it be akward for you to be dating a guy who isn't confident with himself? if they like you, they like you the way you are. you not being confident in yourself is like you not being confident in the girl that he likes. (i'm sorry, that may just be one of those things that only makes sense to me...oops!) remember, guys are self concious too. they just dont seem to whine about it as much as girls. so be confident in who you are as a person.

Q: okay so i have had a crush on this really hot guy for like a month or so. we are friends and we text all the time and he is really nice and he would tell me how nice and pretty i was and stuff. he had a girlfriend, and they recentley broke up. we haven't been talking much lately, just on the bus and some in the hallway, but we have like stopped texting. he told me over text like 2 weeks ago that he liked me, and i told him i liked him, but that was when he still had a girlfriend. my other friends who are friends with him asked him recently who he liked and he said alot of people, but that the only one he thinks he has a chance with is samantha, another girl in my grade!!! i am so confused about everything! then today my other friend, melissa was talking to him. me and him and melissa all ride the same bus. here's how the convo went:
Melissa- Hey billy!
billy- hey melissa, why dont you ever ride the bus anymore?
melissa- oh i have basketball.
billy- oh okay. well ive been having to sit next to anna (thats me), and we talk like the whole time and stuff but it's really awkward.
melissa- why?!
then melissa's boyfriend came up and told billy to go away right when he was about to talk! idk what to think anymore! i am really confused, and if you have any insight on this AT ALL, please tell me. i dont no what to do or think or anything. give me ideas on what to text him if you can. please, anything will help!

well, hes admittled to liking you but he thinks he only has a chance with samantha. soooo... tell someone to slip it to him that he DOES infact has a chance with YOU. tell mellisa, whenever she sees him, only if shes got a second, to say, "hey, i heard you only think you have a chance with samantha. well, you have a chance with anna too, because she really likes you." melissa, i would say, is the ideal person to do this, and i guess her boyfriend has issues, but all she needs is 30 seconds to say this to him, then walk away without waiting for the response. this will give him the info in a way that allows him to think about it, not immdeiatly have to answer. (putting somone on the spot only makes them give you the wrong answer.) then, see him a couple more times, and on maybe the 3rd time say: "so, melissa told me that she told you we have a chance together? well, shes telling the truth, i really like you and you totally have a chance with me."
its a pretty far-out plan, but i think it just might work.

Q: i know how to lose weight and i have all the tools, but my family eats a lot of junk food and i don't think they beleive i can lose weight. They think i can't lose my goal weight of 30 pounds. (beleive me i need to) im 14/f and with all the stress from school and stuff i can never stick to a weight loss plan. i just give in and eat like a bag of chips. i really want to lose the weight, but i can never stick to it!!!

what do i do>

work on just eating more healthy in general, dont think of it as a "diet". and, when you crack and eat a bag of chips, dont just think you blew it and give up. healthy eaters have treats once in a while too. try this to begin with: eat only one junk food item a day. If you had sugar cereal for breakfast, opt not for a cookie at lunch or ice cream after dinner. if you end up eating a bag of chips after school, dont have anything else besides your regular dinner. eventually this will help you kick your junk food habit, then it will be easier to focus on eating truly healthy foods.

Q: ok im on jv cheerleading at my high school. anyways, i just got my back handspring all by myself on the tumble track (the trampoline thing) at my tumbling classes. i am so excited! my tumbling coach kept telling me dont worry im spotting you. its weird but i cant ever tell when they touch my back, i just assume. but after i did it alone for awhile he was like i wasnt even spotting you. you did it by urself :D then i kept doing them over and over!! i am so happy, but now im thinking, well its going to be a lot harder to do it on the ground, right? i would really love to get it on the ground. is it going to be that much harder? and what tips would help me to transition from the tumble track to the ground without starting all over, and being able to get it quickly? thank you so much!

start practicing on the floor. Its the same except now, its completely up to you to use your own muscles. jump hard and back at the begining, and do not bend your arms in the middle. its hard, but you may be surprized how quick you get it. you'll keep trying and keep trying without getting it, then one day, boom. you'll get it.

Q: this year, i may undertake the project of designing and getting the basketball student section shirts. i need a phrase or a witty saying to go on the shirts.

we're the timberwolves.
my school is SVHS. [spring valley hs]
our colors are navy, light blue, and white or silver.

i was thinking of either black or navy blue tye-die shirts, and white writing on them. our coach's name is "morrison", so i was thinking of putting something like "morrison's maniacs" on one side of the shirt, and a saying on whatever side that doesn't go on.

any help is appreciated (:

Well at our school, tie dye is extremely popular. All the sports teams have either rainbow tie dye or green tie dye, our schools color. At our school, the soccer players shirts say "we've got balls" and the softball shirts say "cocky?" on the front, and on the back say, "no, were just that good."

I have no idea how the heck they got those approved by the school board though, because they actually had some other things that got shot down, so they had to settle for these intead.

Q: Is there any way to make your period last a shorter amount of time without using birth control?

When I work out really hard in the week before or the week of my period, its alot shorter and alot lighter. I've been told that this is perfectly healthy and normal.

Q: I can't read the notes! I've really tried. Are there people who just can't read notes or something? I've looked at websites online, asked my teacher, everything. I've been playing piano for like a month, but only by memory or writing down the number of what finger to play. How long does it usually take for someone to read notes? Do you have a really easy way? I can't even read them with the whole acronym thing. I feel so stupid!

ohh honey, Ive been taking piano since I was four, and honestly i couldn't read music fast untill I was in 5th grade, when I started saxophone in the school band. but, in our school's band, we practice every single day for 45 minutes. But saxophones only use treble cleff, so now I can sight read treble clef very quickly, but my bass clef is still weak! and im in 10th grade now! So basicly, it took a long time. I only finally figuered it out with intense practicing and brute force. (mean band teacher) Dont fret after just one month!!!!!! (sorry I got a little off-topic there)

Oh, and the acronyms can help, but its confusing which ones go with the lines and spaces on which clef. So, remember- the second line up on a treble clef, aka the one that the symbol wraps around, is G.

On base clef, the two dots on the symbol are arond the F line. thats why base cleff is somtimes called "F clef"

Also, try reading flash cards, or go get like a little kids activity book for note reading. You can get those at music stores.

Q: My town(and school) has a play/musical every year and i was in one school musical. i am 14. I want to be in the towns musical but i am really shy and can't like sing infront of people(adition involes this)....I ask for a 'non-singing' part but then i get a part with little to no words or spoken parts. I am not sure what i can do to boost my cofidence!!!!
Help!!!

All I can tell you is just to go for it. Pretend the audience isn't there, pretend like your're singing alone in your shower. If you can act on stage in front of other people, singing is only one step further!

Q: im 15 and in have fancied this girl for a while and im thinking abou asking her out. The only problem is i don't know waht she thinks of me and if i ask her out and she says know what will this do to our friendship. what should i do?

I think you should go for it. she will be flattered that you like her, and if she says no, you can always still be friends.

Q: i was reading an answer from a columnist and in there answer there like "Hey, thats exactly me, haha. Theres nothing that you can do to make your thighs smaller in a healthy way. Working out will just gain you muscle and make them even bigger. Just embrace them & love them because its what youve got and what God wanted to you have."
is that true??
- FYI: i didnt ask the question she answered though.

i dont think so. after i started getting really serious about dance, i did notice my legs get leaner and more muscular. maybe they didn't exactly get skinnier, just more muscular, but which ever it was, they look alot better. so dont get discouraged about excercise, because it WILL make your legs look better. muscle looks so much better than yucky flab.

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HELLO OUT THERE!
I am...
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and I'll try my hardest to give you my very best advice.