Good day everyone.
I am a nursing student. My ultimate goal is to be a travel nurse.
I am happily married for over 12 years and have 3 children: ages 6, 4, and 2. Family is the most important thing in the world and I want to help families work out problems so they do not have to be torn apart.
If your family is as important to you as mine is to me, get the help you need. If you do not like my advice, I respect that but look for someone that works for your needs.
Your family is worth it!
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Home maker/ nursing student
Age: 31
Member Since: October 26, 2007
Answers: 223
Last Update: September 27, 2011
Visitors: 32459
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Can you pee with a tampon in? (link)
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It is just fine to urinate while a tampon is inserted. The tampon is inserted several inches into your vagina.
Below is some information from the "Tampax" website. I will paste some info here but I will include the website so you can look up more information if you like.
http://www.tampax.co.uk/questionsanswers2.php?topic=4&page=1&id=0
"Can I go to the bathroom with a tampon in?
Sure! Each female has three separate openings: the urinary, the vaginal and the anal opening. Therefore, a tampon that's placed in the vagina won't be affected when you use the bathroom. When you urinate, you might want to hold the cord to one side so it won't get wet. If it does become damp, just dry it with a piece of toilet tissue"
"Do I have to take the tampon out every time I go to the bathroom?
No. Urine comes through the urethra, "stool" when you defecate, comes through the anus. These are two separate openings. The tampon goes into the vagina - another opening between the urethra and anus. You might want to move the string out of the way when you go, though. If you're going to urinate, pull the string to the back or side, and if you're going to defecate, pull it to the front. (By the way, remember, to prevent infections always wipe from front to back when you go to the bathroom.)"
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Someone extremely close to me recently developed very, very strong feelings for someone. Now it seems apparent that nothing is going to happen between them. Now she is constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY depressed (I live with her, so I know), just lying around and not wanting to talk with anyone. It's been going on for several weeks now, and I just do not know what to do anymore...I've tried telling her it's going to be okay and not to worry because this isn't the end of the road for her romantically, but nothing seems to help. I feel like I need to do something, but I just don't know what to do or say anymore...I can't bear seeing her like this anymore. Thoughts, anyone? (link)
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Sit down and have a real heart to heart with her. Don't do a huge amount of talking. Mostly listen and perhaps ask questions to get her talking. There may be something going on she isn't opening up about; perhaps some insecurities due to a past situation or a fear of being alone in the future, etc.
There may also be a deeper underlying depression issue that is causing her to feel or seem she is depressed about this guy when in fact she has a depression disorder that is being blamed on this guy.
In the talk I would suggest you asking her to talk about how she is feeling. Ask if it is the guy or something else that is bothering her. Ask what qualities this guy possessed that she found so attractive, if she has ever felt this way about anyone else... get her really talking and try to find out what is at the root of her depression.
Important things NOT to do is tell her "everything will be okay", "there are other guys out there", "this guy is a jerk for not chosing her". These are all generic things that she either doesn't want to hear or already knows. People cannot be forced to fall in love with other people. If this guy is not interested in your friend he cannot help that and if he were somehow forced into it, he could end up making your friend even more miserable.
She deserves someone who will love her for who she is. Someone who has a lot of things in common with her that she can do things with and be best friends with. She deserves happiness and a man that will not only make her happy, but that she can reciprocate and make him happy as well. There should be no settling.
It sounds as if she is young. It is difficult sometimes for young people (this includes 20's) when they care about someone who doesn't return this feeling. This happens to nearly 100% of all people. There are those lucky few who may feel little or no rejection, find a special someone, and be happy for years to come. But for most of us, there is rejection, heartbreak, and sadness. And this is okay! Believe it or not, sadness and mourning is all part of human life. It is not fun and most of us try to avoid it, but it is natural and it is okay. If she is sad and wants to cry, then that is her right and should be allowed to do it. Crying will help release that sadness and help her heal from her sadness.
You may feel that several weeks is long enough to be moving on from this guy. It may take her a little longer, especially if she is having issues of insecurity regarding her future love life. If she is ready to settle down, get married, have a family, this may be hitting her harder than one might think but it may not exactly be about this specific guy... more that she realizes if she is not able to do it with him, then her dreams are further away than she had hoped.
I would suggest being there for her for a while yet allowing her to open up and have time to heal. If she doesn't feel better in the next couple of months, it may be helpful to carefully suggest she find someone who specializes in this kind of thing (a therapist) who can help her work through it. Again, it could be an underlying depression disorder that needs more than just a friendly shoulder and crying over a gallon of ice cream.
Best of luck.
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Okay, I haven't done this for awhile, but here goes...
I am home schooled, have not gone to school, and have not graduated.
I need to get this taken care of...
So, I need to either get on a Website that let's me earn my Diploma, or go into Michigan Works and get my GED...
But, I guess what I'm getting at is: Do you or have done any of this. And if so, I would appreciate some input...
Thanks! (link)
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I need to start first by saying that I have not personally done this so I cannot EXACTLY answer your question.
I am a homeschooling parent and my husband has a master's degree in education. My reason for giving you my personal input is this: While I cannot tell you HOW to get a diploma or a GED I can tell you that more than likely the college you are planning to attend will not care what you have. They are more interested in SAT scores. If you have not already taken this test you can find out more information at the link below and there are books at the library and book stores to help you prepare.
http://www.collegeboard.com/student/testing/sat/calenfees.html
Again, I know this didn't answer your question but I hope it helps. Once you find out HOW to get an official graduation document, it doesn't matter which one you get, as long as there is proof of graduation. (Or at least this seems true in the state of Ohio)
Best of luck.
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You answered my question a couple days ago about my concern for my uterus, How could that be an ectopic pregnancy? (link)
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Certainly given I am not a medical doctor I cannot really give you a great medical answer to this question. I can only tell you what I know...
An ectopic pregnancy can, from what I have heard from women I know who have experienced one, be very painful. It can cause vaginal bleeding similar to either a period or another type of miscarriage. Especially if it goes untreated and it ruptures a fallopian tube, this can cause terrible pain. I suggested this as a possibility to your uterine discomfort given I assume you aren't 100 percent certain it is your uterus but rather somewhere in the vicinity of your female reproductive organs.
If this continues or is getting worse, please seek medical attention. I cannot begin to tell you what it is but it would be prudent to find out what it is before it potentially becomes something bad.
Here is a link to a very reputable website for the Mayo Clinic. It gives good information on ectopic pregnancies.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ectopic-pregnancy/DS00622
Best of luck.
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15/f
So lately, I've been getting small pimples on my shoulders, back and chest. It's not a lot, but it's a little bit noticeable. The rest of my body, including my face, is completely clear. (not trying to be cocky) I've always had smooth, clear shoulders, chest and back. It's really bothering me! I put Neutrogena face acne wash on my chest and it clears it up. But on my back it's harder and my shoulders are acting up. Any thing to help make it go away? Because I know it can on my chest. But yeah. HELP..summer is practically here. (link)
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It sounds like you may have a case of acne. There are a few different types or I should say degrees of severity. In mild cases generally washing with the acne soaps like Neutragena or Cetaphil several times a day will help. Some acne may require a prescription cream or wash (such as benzoyl peroxide) while other cases need the aid of an antibiotic (doxycycline or minocycline).
If it does not get better or continues to get worse and it is something you want to pursue, you may want to have a visit with a dermatologist or your family doctor to see if there is anything that can be done.
Best of luck.
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I have been sexually active for 2 years now. I visited my boyfriend last week out of state and we had sex for a loong time at night, and now when I put my fingers in, it feels like I can feel my cervix and tampons hit it. Is this normal? Whats wrong with me?? (link)
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You should see your physician as this sounds like you don't normally experience this. I can't tell you what is wrong or whether it is normal but I can tell you it may require medical attention. If it does, the longer you wait the worse it will get and the more damage could be done. It could, for example, be an ectopic pregnancy. These are generally experienced before you even know you are pregnant.
Don't wait and don't be embarassed when it is your health and life that you are talking about.
Best of luck.
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i was wondering, can boys make babies all their lives or do they go through a thing like menopause? (link)
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The person who previously answered your question is correct. Men produce sperm their entire lives. I want to take it one step further and add a little more. While they do produce the sperm, the sperm goes through a bit of a change and it has been suspected (possibly proven by now) that older men have a higher rate of helping to produce babies with developmental problems.
Women over 35 are at higher risk of having babies with developmental issues such as Down's syndrome and/or other birth defects. Now it is believed that older men are at higher risk as well.
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I can not stand my moms boyfriend he is here all the time and I find that weird. On her day offs he should just go cause he has been here all week. Is that ok. That seems a little too much for me. You know what the emotional stress he caused me got me gaining wieght. I was fat now I am fatter. Cause I dont know when he is around I dont even get out of my room so much so basically I am stuck inside. WHen he speaks to me to tell me oh the door is open he sounds like he does not really want to speak to me all though with all my might even when I am mad at him I try to sound friendly to him . He is really mean and I dont want anything to do with his him. His attitude towards me seems really watchfull and its frustratting. LIke behind my moms back he thinks we should act like boyfriend girlfriends you know what I mean. I am really scared to tell this to my mom cause she might get mad and I dont know I just dont have the nerve to say. And he is feeding off all this. YOU know not one time was he ever friendly to me not one time. All I ask is respect when I am around even when I am in the next room and he does not give that. Its always about him all the time cause he thinks my mom depends on him so much. (link)
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If you have genuine problems with your mom's boyfriend, you should have the courage to tell her.
If you just don't like him because he is dating your mom and you have a sense of jealousy because she spends time with him, then this is an understandable emotion from a child whose parent is dating, but you should not give your mother grief because she has a companion in her life.
It sounds like there are real issues with this guy. I don't know what his past. If he is watchful of you it could be because he doesn't trust teenagers. It could even be it is your perception that he is being watchful when in fact he is not.
This being said, you need to open communication with Mom. I believe you were hinting that when Mom isn't around he wants to act like you are his girlfriend. This is completely unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Moms are there to protect their kids. If he has inappropriate behavior toward you your mother needs to know. For one thing, if he is dating her and acting this way toward you, he may be dating her while acting this way with other women.
You should not be a prisoner in your own home. Home is where you should be able to "let your hair down" and be at ease.
You were not specific with why Mom depends on this guy so much. If it is for house work, yard work, some sort of chore, perhaps you could offer to help out more so he would not be as "needed". If it is financial perhaps you are old enough to get a job and could help her out a bit in that way; pay your cell phone bill, buy your own clothes, pay for your own entertainment such as movies and eating out. Then you could present to Mom that this guy is not all that great, that she can do better, and you are willing to help her so that she can feel confident enough to get rid of him.
I strongly suggest you approach Mom as maturely and lovingly as you can. I would not discuss this in the heat of an arguement. Catch her when she is just lounging around or cooking or something. Possibly in the car. Start by saying something like "hey mom, I have something weighing on my mind and I really need to talk to you about it. This isn't going to be easy for me to say and probably hard for you to hear but will you please listen to me with and open mind and hear me out?" Then tell her what your problems are. Be mature about it. Leave out the personal attacks such as he watches too much t.v., he dresses like a dork, I can't stand the sound of his voice, etc. Give her concrete things such as " The other day while you were at the store he was here. I was in my room doing homework and he came into the room yelling at me about the laundry" or "As rude as he can be with me, sometimes he still makes me uncomfortable with putting his arm around me".
The most important thing I can stress is that you cannot shut your mom out. If you are feeling true feelings of concern about this guy either for your own safety or you feel he is verbally or emotionally abusing you, Mom needs to know. If you don't tell her and things get worse or something bad happens, she may feel horribly guilty and wonder why you never came to her about this.
Be respectful. Realize that Mom may desire companionship and you need to accept her friends. If you are accepting and respectful to everyone and suddenly there is one person you have problems with, it will be easier for her to believe there is an actual problem.
Best of luck.
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so i've already made my first visit to the gyno .. but since i was too scared to do the pelvic exam (hahah) i only did the breast exam. im going back soon to get a vaccine, so i will probably end up doing the pelvic exam then. but what i am more concerned about is when i go to the gyno for an internal exam. is it better to shave before i go? i feel like if i dont then it will be hard to see cuz my hair is pretty thick. and also .. i noticed that if i spread the lips of my vagina apart, my vagina has A LOT of discharge throughout.. i have extrememly good hygene but i just dont know if this is normal? like id feel embarassed if i did the internal exam and i had all slimy discharge in me and the doctor is like looking through .. i mean i guess they see it all the time but does anyone get what im saying? id just feel weird if she saw my discharge & even if i cleaned it before i feel like it would be back again by the time she examines me.. soo basically is it ok to have my vagina like that when i get examined? and also should i shave? thanks! (link)
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All you should feel obligated to shave is your legs, maybe even your bikini line. Most women do not shave their vaginal area. In fact, shaving your vaginal area can actually lead to skin irritation and infections so this should be done carefully or preferably not at all.
As far as the discharge- this is called a mucous patch and it is a sign of ovulation. It has different consistencies depending on where you are in your cycle. If you have JUST had your period, you may have little to no discharge. The closer you get to ovulation (14 days after your period) the thicker it gets. It will start off kind of watery, change to kind of slimy, then get really thick that could actually be strung like store bought slime! Then before your period it gets gloopy; it will kind of be just a glop of mucous. Then your period starts and the mucous cycle starts over again. If you did not have this it would be somewhat unusual. If it should happen to not be your mucous patch but rather an infection or something, your doctor NEEDS to see it to treat you and get you healthy again.
The first internal exam is incredibly frightening. I still remember mine and it was almost 15 years ago! But once it is over you have that hurdle past you and it is no big deal from then on.
Best of luck.
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Bascially I have a really good friend.
She has a brother and sister ( who is disabled),
her dad is a policeman and is kinda of big - and he ONLY hits my friend.
She doesnt do anything...and her mum just doesnt want to believe its going on really. She took 56 pain killers, and past out on the stairs ( she told me she was trying to kill herself). Her mum and dad found her on the stairs and her mum had asked her why they were out on the side...so she made up a pathetic lie that she had a headache - and her mum and dad believed it! I personally think its because they cant come to terms with the fact their daughter isnt happy, especially because of her dad. I know she also suffers a bit from depression and as well as our exams coming up so she was under lots of pressure.
I dont know what I am supposed to do. I cant report it because she is my friend and she has a family - and if I said anything..she'd be taken away by social services. Im just worried because waht about the next time she tries to hurt herself and she dies??
Right now, Im just trying to keep he happy and make her smile - she has told me that I am helping her be less stressed and just mor ehappy with herself. Thats great..but what more can i do?
Also she has taken so many tablets, she can bearly walk because she has stomach ulcers ( Ive had it before so as soon as she started with the pains i knew..) but she cant go to the doctors because her mum and dad will fall apart and then just everything will fall apart....
what do i do to help her? (link)
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If you want to truely be her friend, you need to report this. This is frightening. This is a difficult emotional and legal time for you and your friend, but it is necessary.
If this behavior continues you may very well be visiting her grave site instead of her bedroom.
Her family is of no consequence to you. It is not about them. If dad hits her and mom closes her eyes, they are not good enough parents to deserve such a special gift as this girl. All children deserve the best in the world and in this case the worst is coming from the parents themselves.
I am going to give you a website that also has an 800 phone number. I do not know if you are in the united states but if you are this number is free and available 24/7. If you are outside the U.S. you may need to do an online search for a crisis hotline in your area.
http://www.boystown.org/AboutUs/hotline/Pages/CrisisHotline.aspx?gclid=CLzyueTrtpoCFQoMDQod-ktccQ
Boystown 24/7 hotline number 1-800-448-3000
This hotline can likely help you decide what the best corse of action is to take.
This is a terrible situation that you have to be in; trying to literally save the life of your friend. You must not take the attitude though that "I can't tell anyone because she asked me not to" or some similar way of looking at it. For her life and safety this information needs to be passed on to someone.
A couple of options I know of off hand are teachers. At least in the United States teachers are required by law to report suspected abuse. Talk to a teacher or your principal and see if anything can be done. You may also talk to a member of the clergy who may have suggestions.
I am so sorry this is happening to your friend and yourself. I hope this information is helpful enough that you are able to help your friend in more ways that could lead to her surviving this crisis.
Best of luck.
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well when we first started seeing each other we were happy i didn't know he was like this untill he got kick out from his dads place, i know he has to leave my house because i am feeling even more dret now i dont feel love anymore or that little spark whne i see him i sometimes feel like we are gust "Fuck buddies" more then anything else i feel he is more of a friends now. I do care for him and i understand my mom when seh says their are better guys out their to meet and that i shouldnt be tied down now at such a young age, because i like to hang out with guys and flirt but am restricted rom that now, and when i see other guys i think what a good person they may be if i got to know them. I know to trust my mom mroe then anything els but it hurst to her hear bad talking him behind his back infront of me with her Bf... to me i know what they are saying is true he is not good with money, he is not really an active guy who is fit. I think i am looking for a guy that is more willing to help himself and who takes care of himself and wont push his Gf into doing anything. But also what makes it hard for me to do or try to do it tell him because sometimes i am not sure if i want to be with him or that i do wnat to be with him, but like i said their is like i find no spark left an i find he does manipulate me and bug me when i am trying to do HW a lot. also the fact he is my kinda of frist serious thing in a relation ship, my friend who i was kinda with for 2 monthes even treated me better then he is,....:(*cry* I think thought that you are right and that we do need some time alone or that we are better off friends then anything els because i do not think i am ready for the long haul like he is. i gust need some feed back about thins to see what i should do, because even my mom says i deserve better that i shouldnt be with him.... PLZ HELP
you hlp b4 was good, and i think i need some more.. (link)
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Sorry it took me a few days to get back to you. My son has been sick so I haven't been on the computer.
I think that at your age if you have doubts about your relationship and your mom has told you you can do better... you should probably get out. Ask yourself this... do you want to marry him? Do you want to have kids? Would he be a good dad? Would he make you happy with a house and a car and your kids and a dog? I mean, why do we date anyway? Some people are cut out for the life of a bachelor or bachelorette but most of us want to get married and have a family. If you are in this category of wanting a family you need to find a boyfriend that you can see yourself with for the next 60 years.
When a young teen (13-17) asks about relationships it is generally my opinion that they should not be in a "serious" relationship because your life changes SO MUCH after high school and the chances of you staying together are SO SLIM. Once you are in college it is generally my opinion that you should focus on school work but when you do have time for dating, you should date around. You should see what kind of guys you have the most fun with. Those you are most compatible with. Those you get along with the best. Then when you figure out what you are actually looking for as a mate, you will know when you are in "that" relationship that you want to last and THAT relationship is worth working on and fighting for. When you get married, that initial "spark" does tend to dwindle after a while but as it dwindles a new spark begins to grow. This one is deeper. It comes from several years of living with this person, experiencing life, hardships, fun, adventures together. It can be really hard (REALLY HARD) those first 5-7 years. If you make it past that though, you realize that you survived the past 5 years together and you wouldn't have wanted to go through it with anyone else. That is what "true love" is.
We all hit those rough patches in relationships. When you work hard together and survive that hurdle together, your love deepens.
All that being said... is this the guy you want?
You are unsure and Mom says no. You aren't confused about what mom is saying by thinking "i just don't understand why my mom doesn't like him. He is SO wonderful. I just don't know why she feels this way". You agree in many ways.
One last thing, if this is your first "serious" relationship, slow down. Until you figure out who you are and what YOU want out of life, don't add someone else to the mix. You need to be happy with yourself and the direction you are going in. When you have that figured out you can find a man who is headed in the same direction and have an enjoyable ride together.
Best of luck.
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I'm a first time mom and I feel so lost. I have no idea if and when my baby is hungry. :( and I feel like such a terrible mother.
My baby is 7 weeks old, and he will breastfeed for around 10 minutes. and then come off and latch back on. but once he latches back on he just cries and cries. so i feel like maybe hes still hungry but hes just not getting enough from me. If i give him his pacifier though he happily sucks it. but then i feel guilty thinking well maybe hes sucking it because hes hungry.
I just would like a straightforward answer as to how to know when my baby is hungry and how to know when hes full and just crying for the sake of crying.
because now whats happening is he'll cry and i'll check his diaper..and its fine. and then try to feed him and he will latch on.. i dont have to coax him. but once hes latched on he starts to scream.
PLEASE please please someone help me! (link)
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The "simple" answer to if your baby is hungry is- if he is crying and you try to feed him, he will eat until he is satisfied. Then he will let go. If he still needs to suckle, a pacifier is perfectly adequate and you do not need to let him suckle on you until your breasts are sore. Let him eat and then let him have a pacifier. Babies have a natural need to suckle and this does not equal hunger. So pacifiers are okay.
However, as I am sure you have learned, babies are not simple. Now, let me start by saying that all babies like all adults are different. There are "rules" but then there are exceptions to every rule so what I say next may or may not apply to you.
What concerns me is you said he will latch on and then start to scream. This could suggest a few things that you may need to discuss with your pediatrician. 1. He may have acid reflux. 2. Colic. 3. Some sort of lactose intolerance or milk protein allergy.
I have three children ranging from 5 1/2 years to 11 months. It has been my personal experience that my children never cried "for the sake of crying". It is an old wives tale that babies cry to "practice using their lungs". That was what we heard when I was a kid. When babies are content and have what they need, they generally don't cry (until they are a little older and are not getting their way or are just being ornery... but at 7 weeks this is not usually a problem).
Your pediatrician should be kept informed of all of this. They can do a very easy test to see if he is getting enough to eat by simply having frequent weights. If your baby is gaining weight appropriately, he is getting enough to eat. If he is uncomfortable, however, there may be other tests they need to do to see if there is a problem such as those I mentioned above.
Above all else, remember that you are NOT a terrible mother. You are clearly a very loving concerned mother who just wants to do the best by her baby- which is what WONDERFUL mothers do.
Things get a little easier in the coming weeks. When my oldest was born I had never even held a newborn, let alone all of the "mothering" stuff. I also did not grow up with a "mother" so I didn't have anything to draw from. I spent a LOT of time feeling inadequate and less than the other mothers I saw who seemed to know exactly how its done! You'll get there. It may just take a few months (or a year or two haha).
One extra little side thought... I don't know exactly what you are feeling but you mentioned you feel like a terrible mother, and you do seem a bit overwhelmed. Don't forget to take a little care of yourself too. If you are feeling extraordinarily upset or "down", you may want to mention this to your own doctor. You may need a little pick me up for potential post partum depression (PPD). I had it with all 3 of mine. You may not have this but if you do and if you get help, you will be an even better mother because of it.
Best of luck, and HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!!! :)
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ok so i ahve a bf we've been together for 9 monthes now and I am feeling really stressed about how was spend alot of time together, that is due to the fact that he is currently living at my house but will be leaving shortlye. I don't know waht feeling i am having for him i know i care for him but i gust dont know if i love him even thougth i say it. I feel as if sometinh bad is going to happen. it bugs me sometimes that he wont do anything to better himself and he is kinda lazy sometimes, i dont know if i should tell him its over or talk about it after all he is my first bf ( i am 18 he is 19 i am living at home) he all was makes my mom seem like the bad guy and her Bf as well i lvoe them dearly and i think he is trying to get my against them. i gust need some help on what i should do,,, thanks (link)
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Relationships can be a lot of work- Hard work to keep them thriving and meaningful.
That being said, you are only 18. If you are not sure you love him and ESPECIALLY if you already consider him a bit lazy and feel he is causing issues with your mother... it sounds like it is time for you two to go your separate ways.
I do not know what you are eluding to when you say something bad may happen. You need to understand that he is not your responsibility. As a friend, if he needs help you can help him to the best of your ability but if he isn't making an effort to help himself also, that is not your problem.
Often times a person will ask for advice on their relationship and list all the pro's and con's; all the wonderful stuff about their boyfriend versus all the negative stuff. You didn't actually mention anything good. This may be a sign you are looking for that you are ready to move on- you may just be prolonging it because you are afraid of doing the wrong thing or you still care about him. You can care about him without being in a romantic relationship with him.
Assess how YOU feel. What do you love about him? Does he work hard to make the relationship work? Does he work hard in life to make himself a better man? Do you feel a few years down the road he could make a good equal partner in providing for a family; a good dad? You don't need to rush into marriage right now, you are only 18... but because you are an adult and not a little kid, your relationships are more likely going to be scoping out a potential life mate. If this guy doesn't fit the build or doesn't seem like he is going to shape up anytime soon, move on.
Under most circumstances I feel your family comes first. You suggested he says or does things that are not necessarily done good heartedly concerning your mother and her friend. I do not know your family or your situation, but as a rule I have to say you need to chose your mom over this guy.
Most of all, go with your gut. You KNOW what you feel even if you are trying to deny it to yourself. Your brain may keep telling you to work on the relationship, fight for him, etc. But what is your feeling deep inside? Do you feel stress and anxiety about meeting up with him? Do you get a feeling of dread rather than the feeling of happiness that you are about to finally see him after a long day? If you are feeling more negative feelings such as stress, anxiety, tummy aches, etc. this is your "gut" telling you to get out.
Finally I want to reiterate something. He is not your responsibility. You need to focus on yourself. Breakups are usually emotionally hard. You cannot, however, stay with him because you are afraid of how he will feel. This is in some ways an abusive situation. You are either abusing yourself emotionally because you can't let him go for fear of what HE will do... or HE is abusing you by manipulating you into staying with him with is NOT acceptable, ever! Should you decide to leave your boyfriend, you may also consider staying single for a while. Get to know yourself better and contemplate what you really WANT out of a man. Then, only look for men with those qualities- not just the cute guys that pay you attention. You deserve happiness and a good life. If a man hinders this rather than helps the effort of a good, happy life, he doesn't deserve to be in the picture.
Best of luck.
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16/f
How do I know if I have PMDD? I really feel like I do, but my mom doesn't believe me. Here are my symptoms:
- Depression (Like, I'll become really upset for a few days over NOTHING. I'll cry at random times for no reason. And I honestly am suchh a happy person!)
- Muscle aches in my legs.
- Very tender/sore breasts.
- Becoming very irritable/angry. (It gets reallllly bad. And it completely effects my relationships with my boyfriend, friends, and family. I'll often lash out at them for no reason or freak out over nothing.)
- Dizziness.
- Bad cramps and bloating.
- Panic/anxiety attacks. (Not all the time, but sometimes it'll happen.)
- Feeling anxious and just not myself.
- Majorrrr food cravings. (Mainly for chocolate and french fries.)
I know those are a lot of symptoms and I don't want anyone to think I'm being a hypochondriac about this, which is what I think my parents believe. But I really feel like I need to find out if this is PMDD or maybe just teenage hormones? All of these things effect my life and relationships soo much, I can't really take it anymore.
Does anyone maybe have some tips on how I can deal with this? Any foods that will help the mood swings and such?
Thanks so much! :) (link)
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It is really difficult to differentiate between PMS and PMDD. All the symptoms you listed could be just PMS- or more severe!
I have the same problem with you. I don't know if I have PMDD. I have an appointment with my doctor on Friday of this week to find out! If you had written this on Friday I would certainly be much more knowledgable than I am today but I have done a bit of research over the last few weeks to decide if I even need to see my doctor. I will share a little with you.
First of all, I am sure you know by now that PMS sucks. I would have bloating, really painful cramping, and mood swings. But with PMS mood swings you kind of lash out a bit and make your loved ones think "shesh! what did I do? I wonder if it is her time of the month". I am too ashamed to share what I have personally done a week to 10 days before my own period but I found a blog of other women who have confessed to being quite nasty during this time. One woman admitted she is happy her husband is so loving because she has actually thrown things at him and hit him- hers gets so severe.
One of my concerns stems from the fact that I am going to be 31 soon and had my menarch (1st period) when I was 13. So I know PMS well. What I have been experiencing for the last 4 months... is beyond anything I ever felt with PMS. Usually a chocolate bar (or 3 or 4) would make me emotionally feel better for a few hours at least while I was "high" on chocolate. This hasn't really been helping lately. I am still benging because of increased appetite... but it doesn't make me feel better... just less hungry!
I am getting right up there with this other lady. And it doesn't just make me "upset" that I am this way but rather, it frightens me. This is why I have taken the extra step to see my doctor. I have crossed some lines that I would NEVER have thought that I would cross. I am generally very mild mannered and upbeat. The feelings of depression and anger that I feel are so surreal and they truely scare me that it is ME who is behaving in such a viscious manner.
There are two websites that I found helpful in making my decision to see my doctor. These may help you in discussing it with your mom and potentially seeing your own doctor.
The first one is:
http://www.obgyn.net/pmspmdd/pmspmdd.asp?page=/women/conditions/pmdd_or_pms
and the second one, and my personal most helpful is:
http://www.womentowomen.com/assessments/hormonalhealth/default.aspx?id=1&campaignno=pms&adgroup=ag7dyphoric&keywords=premenstrual+dysphoric+disorder+pmdd
Your disadvantage right now, and this may not be easy for you to accept, is you are 16. It is simply a medical, hormonal fact that you are still going through puberty and many things in your life are going to make you feel very melodramatic. If you truely feel you may have PMDD, you may need to work hard convincing Mom you need to see your doctor. He/she is the only one who can look objectively enough to tell the difference between PMS, PMDD, and normal teenage girl puberty issues.
I hope these websites help you out.
Best of luck.
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Okay.. I have been trying to get pregnant for like ever!! I have one son he is two. My fiance has two boys and had a daughter. So we can both have kids?? My periods irregular.. I gained weight when i was pregnant. So a docotor said that may be why my periods were irregular. I worked out, ran walk, etc. wel i got them regular but they are getting messed up again from stress. my last one wasnt even close. spotted the whole time. Well i talked to my bestfriend about it.. Douching?? can that be a reason, i havent been able to get pregnant. My mom wasnt around growing up, no sister, i lived with all guys, i was a tom boy growing up not anymore but still no one to really talk to .. akward talking to her about it but... im not sure what it is but she said she does it and shes got 3 kids? (link)
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Stress and irregular periods could very likely be the reason you are not getting pregnant. You said you have been trying for "ever". I question how long this actually is because it is not uncommon for it to take a full year to conceive and this is assuming you are being very diligent every month watching your calendar, your body temperature, your signs of ovulation, etc. If you aren't doing these things... you may think you are trying because you are "trying" a lot.
Babies aren't just called miracles because they are so special and bring such love to their parents. They are truely miracles because of ALL it takes to be PERFECT in order to conceive. If everything isn't completely perfect, conception will not take place... or will not last.
This is another thing. You may have gotten pregnant recently and not even known because of "spontaneous abortion". You may have just started your "period" which was in fact a failed conception. It is an absolute miracle that women get pregnant and carry their babies to term.
This is a bit of personal aggravation to me. It is SO EASY to have sex. "Everyone" does it. Sex was invented to conceive a child and so many women have an evening of enjoyment and then are frightened or concerned that they may be pregnant. Of course they may! That is what the act is for!! But doesn't it always seem that those of us who are actually TRYING to have a baby have a hard time? Hardly seems fair.
I got pregnant with my first son on our first month of trying. We assumed the same would be true with our second but he took almost a year to conceive- and I was doing all of the diligent things like keeping close watch on my cycle and taking my temperature so it was disappointing every month when I was not. But with my daughter, it was back to the first month of trying again. So don't give up and if you have concerns... your doctor may have some suggestions that can help speed up the process.
Also, as far as douching- this is unnecessary under most circumstances. Just good daily hygiene is all that is necessary. Douching can cause dryness and other unpleasant side effects and is actually dangerous to do while pregnant. As long as you are trying to get pregnant, it may be a good idea to stop douching.
Best of luck.
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ok so blah im 16..
yesterday i went out with chris and we went to a 21 and over club and i got in.. so we were dancing then we left cause we were going to meet up his friends.. so it was just me and him in his car... we had sex in the back seat... i was a virgin... or am i dont know it was like 3 min long because his friend came to get us so he pulled it out quick... we didnt use a condom.. and he wanted to cum in me but obviously he didnt wanna get me pregnant.. so yeah, like what do i do? i really like him. and next week hes going up north California cause since he's in the marines he has to go train and he MIGHT go to iraq.. i dont know what to do.. i dont know if hes going to take me seriously..
i sent him a txt this morning saying
"was that a 1 time thing or what? this is the first and last time im going to ask you this so be straight up" and he hasent replied yet (link)
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You have a number of concerns that you should not need to be having. It is very concerning that you are 16 and he is 24 as I am sure you are already aware.
As a 16 year old you cannot "please" a 24 year old. I do not mean sexually. I am certain you could have made him a very happy man. But as a 24 year old man he has eight years on you. He has theoretically finished high school, had a number of relationships, a number of jobs, 8 years worth of life experience that you simply have not had. He is in the marines and will possibly be traveling out of the country having even more experiences (many of which could be traumatically bad) and here you are still in high school hoping he is "taking you seriously".
I am sorry to say but if I were you I would not trust this guy. I would question everything he is saying to you because any promises he makes he likely cannot keep. He is living his life. His very adult male life as a marine being deployed! You are still in high school contemplating teenage things like going to the next dance, getting a job, a car, going to college and where, cute boys you may have a crush on or if a cute boy was looking at you.
You have probably heard that the older you are age differences are not as big a deal. This is true. If you are 22 and he is pushing 30 and you want to get together again it may work out. I can tell you with almost 100% certainty that there will not be a long term relationship between you and this guy. Please do not allow yourself to get hurt either emotionally or physically (or for live such as an STD or pregnancy) by giving in to your lust for this guy. You deserve more than this and certainly better than this.
Best of luck.
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Alright so this was 2 months ago, me (15/f) and my basically almost boyfriend (16/m) were at a hockey game for our highschool, and after it he said he was staying at a friends house, well i got a weird feeling but i trusted him. The next day after my basketball game, i get a text from his friend saying its coming directly from my boyfriend that he made out with a nother girl, but he was super drunk. I hear different things all the time, it was his fault, it was the girls, it was his friends fault, but it still makes me feel terrible and ugly and useless and makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. And when i do think about it, i just wanna cry and get mad at my boyfriend cause it bugs me. I could never do something like that to him, drunk or sober. I know he's really sorry but sometimes i wonder if i was stupid enough to forgive him. I know he cares about me like crazy and said he would never do anything like that again. But i just can't get the thought out of my head like i go crazy thinking about it. Blah i just wish it would have never happened, life would be easier, any ideas would help, i apologize that it's long:/ (link)
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No boy should make you feel like this. Period. Especially not when you are 15.
First of all you described him as being your "basically almost boyfriend". This is not a boyfriend. If you want to be upset about him being with another girl you need to have clear lines about your relationship otherwise he is free to do what he wants.
Secondly, if he is in fact your boyfriend he has no right to be out and about with another girl. At 15 and 16 he is not worth "fighting" for. You are going to have other more important relationships in your life and this guy who is going out with other girls should just be passed up and you should move on to someone else.
That being said... you said you haven't been able to get a straight story. What is his story? You should only listen to his story because everyone else's story is just that, a story or gossip. If you don't think his story is true or he is not trustworthy enough to believe his story... why even care enough to listen? Move on. A relationship is supposed to be built on trust and communication. If these two things aren't there, there is no relationship and you need to find someone you can share these things with.
Finally, he this this supposed making out when he was drunk?! At 16? This guy sounds like a looser and you should be searching for someone who has a little more ambition than getting drunk and making out with another girl when he has a "basically almost girlfriend".
Best of luck.
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Hey im 17/f and i've been involved in a case against my ex boyfriend. He was charged with stalking and has to go to court the beginning of may. My current boyfriend now a cop called and said me and him have to pick up a subpoena. Im not really sure what that is. Im confused on the whole thing. I really dont wanna go to court and testify i dont think i could do it. He only spent like a couple hours in jail then his dad bailed him out. I dont want anything crazy to happen to him like i dont want him to go to jail just stay away from me. And i do have a restraining order and the court issued a trial with a jury. I didnt think it was going to get this crazy. I just want everything court related to stop its very scary! (link)
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This sounds very scary!
A subpoena is an official order telling someone they must show up in court.
As far as something crazy happening to him, he brought this on himself.
I think a part of what you are feeling is concern for someone you used to care about. Certainly you want him to be okay and not get into much trouble. The "girlfriend" in you is wanting to take some of his burden away. However, HE is the one to got into trouble. HE is the one who was stalking you. The problem is that if someone is "okay" with stalking, what else is he okay with? You may feel you know him because you dated him but obviously you don't know him as well as you may think. You didn't know when you started dating him that he would end up stalking you. Therefore, stalking could lead to something more serious.
I don't want to scare you even more but stalkers often take the next step. What that next step is depends on his frame of mind. You don't want to find out what that is. Therefore, as guilty as you may feel for "getting all this started" with the restraining order and other court issues, he needs to be contained until he is deemed safe to be in society.
It will all be over soon and when it is you can sigh a sigh of relief. Anything having to do with legal matters is difficult and scary.
You need to keep reminding yourself that A. It is not your fault and B. You are actually the one who is in danger! It may be easy to lose sight of these things because you see this guy that you once cared about having everyone "gang" up on him and you feel a certain need to "protect". Don't. He is not an innocent victim here. He actually did something wrong that landed him in this situation. YOU are the innocent victim and need to remind yourself of this. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. If there is a jury, there are 12 people who will look at all the facts and come to a decision, not just one angry person looking to get him into trouble. He will get what he gets and that is okay. YOU NEED TO BE SAFE.
Best of luck.
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I have bright red blood in my poop....What does this mean?. (link)
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It is likely nothing... but could be something.
What I mean is, more than likely, especially given it is bright red, a hemorrhoid. Hemorrhoids can be internal or external and given they are right there at the rectal opening where your poo comes out, the blood would be bright red. Some other symptoms of hemorrhoids are constipation, rectal itching. Having to wipe a LOT when you poo can cause this or not eating a good variety of fruits and veggies and not enough water. Sitting on the potty for too long can cause this as well. You may not think you are constipated but try taking a natural fiber remedy for 30 days and see what happens. If it begins to fade or resolves completely, you have probably figured it out. Cramping and painful poos can also be a sign of constipation.
If this is not the case, you should see a doctor. There could be something more severe going on somewhere between your esophagus, stomach, intestines, and colon.
If you are really concerned, you may want to start with seeing a doctor. He/she will have to examine your rectum and may want to do a test on your stool called a fecal occult blood test to see if they are guaiac positive/negative or hem positive/negative. These tell your doctor if there is or is not blood in the stools that should not be there OR if there is blood in the stools that cannot be seen.
You likely have a hemorrhoid but just in case... be proactive. Take your fiber, keep an eye on your situation, and if you are still concerned, your body is worth seeing your doctor.
Best of luck.
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I came across this book about acceptance, and how its at the center of everything. Basically it said that true happiness can be reached if one accepts his/her own reality as it is. Then I came across this quote that said "Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference" which also preaches acceptance I guess. So I just wanted to know opinions here. Is acceptance the true secret to happiness or what other theories of reaching happiness have you come up with? I'm feeling a bit philosophical I guess...
thanks =) (link)
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My opinion to your question is yes, acceptance is the true secret to happiness.
What you quoted is a prayer called the Serenity Prayer popularly used in Alcoholics Anony. This is a great prayer for everyday happiness too I think. I think if you can learn to accept life- all aspects, you can be happier. This can be very difficult because there is an infinite things in life needing acceptance. Just a few:
For other people regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation.
For your own personal social status as well as that of others, including the very wealthy to the homeless.
That there is evil in the world that we can try to contain, but cannot defeat (alone).
People we love, and ourselves for that matter, die.
This is very deep and philosophical. It is so much easier to play the blame game. If you accept that "life happens", this can help. It is perfectly natural to go through the steps of mourning, grief, anger, depression that life often forces us to face. But ultimately we should look for acceptance and with it, peace.
There is one other line of "philosophy" I like to think about which is from the book of Romans. I do not have my Bible close at hand but it basically states: Who is in a position to condemn? Only Christ, and Christ died for us while we were yet sinners!
This is to say, if we are not accepting of others for any reason, are we saying we are as good as or even better than God? If someone is going to be condemned, it is for another time and place. Not here and now. We should love and respect our neighbors because they will will have their time to explain themselves if need be.
Hmmm. There's my philosophy for the day.
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