I am a Psychology major who truly enjoys writing and giving advice as one of the many hobbies pursued.
I'm a pretty laid back, can be lazy and sometimes sensitive/uptight person (not all the time though; depends on the beef we might have :) ) who hates to see others get hurt or lied to.
I would like to think it's because of my laid back, empathetic and understanding nature that is what helps me give pretty good advice most of the time and have had many people honestly come to me in the past.
I hope that it happens here with many of you. :)
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Member Since: October 26, 2007
Answers: 2
Last Update: October 28, 2007
Visitors: 2402
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Well me and this guy really like eachother, alot.
And everyday we call eachother "baby" and you know, do all the cutesy things that people normally do.
And about, three days ago [not including today], he was JUST telling me how much he adores me and loves me and everything and all that kind of stuff. And well, two days ago he barely talked to me, but he was playing a game, so i figured, understandable you know guys and their games and stuff. By the time we were going to bed, he seemed to return more to normal being flirty and whatnot so I figured "alright, problem's over" but he never said love you like he usually does whenever he leaves for bed.
And then yesterday I didn't get to talk to him at all cause he was like "I'm not gonna be on at all tonight so I'll talk to you soon, k?" [ he had to do stuff with his parents ] and like, signed off before I could say anything.
And well today, just.. I'm getting nothing from him. Usually he IMs me the minute I sign on with a "hey baby!", I waited for like 10 minutes and got nothing and then suddenly I got a "hey". And he's just not being cute, or nothing. He says he's in a stiuation with his friend, so I thought maybe he's just not in the mood but he says now he's feeling better and not thinking about it, but he's still not talking.
We just live a little apart,
so I just get paranoid sometimes he might not have feelings for me at all anymore.
Can someone really just like, stop caring for you after 2 days?
It boggles my mind.
I really just wanna think of it as that he's not in the mood to be all "baby" with what's gonig on with his friend, but I'm not sure anymore.
Any view on the matter? (link)
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Well, given that I don't know much else about your situation, relationship-wise (i.e. how long you've known one another and how well, is it online or offline, and how old both of you are), I will have to give you advice based upon what's been written/given. So please forgive me if it might not be what you were hoping or might be more helpful, all right?
Anyhow, to ME, it seems like this guy you fancy is being a typical teenage guy. That is, not saying "I love you" twenty-four-seven, or sometimes and for some days acting as though he's not into you. And honestly, most of the time it isn't because they're TRYING to make you pull your hair out, wondering what's up with them (although that's still a given any time you deal with guys of any age, truthfully ^_^), but because they're . . . well, GUYS.
It comes with the territory, trust me. We as females (generally speaking) are more hardwired to things of the emotional nature, and crave and almost expect to always hear "I love you!"'s and other mushy things to come out of our guys' mouth. And even if it's how they feel inside, you can't (and shouldn't) expect them to always say it, on command and/or every time you want.
And that's most likely the case with your guy. I'm going to assume that you two aren't officially an item, seeing as you hadn't described him as your "boyfriend" in your question. And if that's really the case, then that's probably why he's also suddenly acting sort of aloof and uninterested even if he still is into you. In HIS mind, as most guys do, he's probably thinking that while he does find you interesting and wouldn't mind making you his girlfriend officially one day, he also doesn't have any "official obligation" or attachment to you. That is, while he obviously seems to enjoy flirting with you and expressing his equally obvious attraction towards you TO you, to him it doesn't mean that this is his way of making any sort of nonverbal agreements that you'll always be his one and only main focus as you would (or should be, if he's the faithful type, that is) if you WERE his girlfriend.
That sounds very confusing and harsh, I know, but that's just how it is sometimes. So if you two AREN'T an item yet but still like each other, there is of course, always hope for you two to become one in the near future. But he could also still be mentally "playing the field," and in fact right now could quite possibly have an extra crush besides you. (But this doesn't also mean that he's a player, either. It's just another "guy thing," that's all.)
Definitely not what you're banking on, I know, and if it does turn out to be this then it will REALLY hurt, that I know, too (from unfortunate, personal experience when I was younger).
Or, it could also be that maybe he's growing a bit turned off by any smothering or overly smothering you may or may not be giving to him or realize that you are. Most (younger) guys aren't really into that religiously, either, and again especially if you aren't attached to him in the "his girlfriend" sense and he really MIGHT be mentally "hottie shopping" still.
However, chances are that he probably just has a lot on his mind at the moment, and doesn't mean to be neglectful of you or even realizes that he is. Maybe that situation with his friend still DOES bother him a bit or at least still has him in a funk, and you ARE just being paranoid for nothing at all.
WHATEVER the ultimate reason and cause for his newfound behavior, you deserve to know AND deserve to not be so continually frazzled by it. (You have enough on your plate in general I'm sure, anyway, right? Don't need to add guy drama to that list!)
So if it gets too bad, I'd definitely suggest you just confront him about it. But DON'T, by any means, get overly dramatic on him about it, either, because that will only make things WORSE, believe it. ^_^'
Just (try to) take a casual demeanor with it, whether online or off. If he's still acting weird with you at that time, then maybe try to take a joking route as the opener. You know: "Geez, am I that boring to you now? Cuz lately you've been acting as though I've sucked the life out of you whenever you talk to me. LoL" And see what he says to that. If it's a carefree response, then build on that and ask, "Are you sure? Because I guess I've just kind of been wondering if everything was all right with you, and if maybe I'd done something to make you upset without realizing."
Whatever his answers, just remember to keep cool, and go easy on the drama, because that will only make him shut down and view you as some "psycho chick" -- which is CLEARLY not what you want (AND make him believe this is how you'll always be in the future if he DOES decide to date you and whenever things might go wrong between you two).
But honestly, hon, I just believe that maybe you really ARE being a tad too paranoid for your own good, as I've said, AND definitely thinking about it/him way too much. Try to take your mind off of things and him. Hang out more with your friends or do things that relax you. And then the next thing you know, without realizing, he'll probably be back to his cute self with the situation having resolved itself. ;)
I hope it all goes well for you, regardless, and that you two do get together if not already, okay? Good luck! :)
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O.k well what can i say. My "friend" is a bich. she caused my bf to break up with me(long LONG story) and she is such a winey baby.
Like she "hurt" her jaw(don't ask me how) but somehow she "hurt" it. and know she talks with her teeth like tottaly stuck together(i KNOW FOR A FACT that she is faking)she is such an attention junkie. she also flirts with EVERYONE(guys). that's how my bf left me(he was annoyed with her) and she also is abosolutly the MOST ANNOYING person in the WORLD....
You probly think that i am being harsh or mean or that i am somehow possibly jealous of her.....but i am not. she is that way. even my other friends think we should "dump her" as a friend.
WHAT do i do???? (link)
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Honestly? I would suggest that you confront her and tell her how you feel, and how her actions are making you feel.
Trust me when I say that keeping any emotions inside, let alone the obvious resentment that you harbor for your friend, is not at all a good thing and is only a recipe for disaster. Because then, if you're not honest with her from the start but in a weakened moment you vent to some of your other friends whom you believe you can trust and whom either do or don't feel the same for her as you now do, THEY might go and tell HER without thinking or on purpose and in spite (or someone else who will tell another, causing the whole "word-of-mouth" sequence).
And then, of course, I don't have to tell you what will most definitely occur as a result of that: Drama, and nothing but drama. YOU'LL suddenly look like the one with all of the "issues" and two-faced, and just as harsh and/or mean as you don't wish to be perceived.
So, definitely, the best route IS to just confront her, but not in the "You're an annoying bitch and I don't want to have anything to do with you!" way. Run it by your mutual friends (who apparently agree that she's been a tad too self absorbed lately, based upon what you've written) first, and once you've all agreed upon exactly what you'll say and how you'll say it THEN go ahead and talk to her.
A few suggestions, if I may, would to just express to her how she used to be (assuming she used to be a fun-loving kind of person, otherwise I don't see how you'd be friends with her in the first place if she generally wasn't, seeing as how you don't seem to get along well with those with heavy attitudes or are conceited), and how lately she has been acting differently. Tell her that it's honestly been bothering all of you a bit and making you all wonder about her.
Let her know that you all are concerned and wondering if everything is all right with her and at home or what have you.
Chances are very strong that, if she's suddenly acting like some attention-seeking psycho, so to speak, when she normally isn't (or maybe not as much, anyway) then it's because she subconsciously and secretly WANTS someone to notice and "call her out" on it so that she CAN hopefully open up and talk about what may really be the issue.
And, if sadly all of this doesn't go the way you hope it to (which is, have it all be resolved for the better and all of you still remain friends with her) and she unfortunately takes far too MUCH offense to everything, (And trust me, she WILL take a great deal of offense once confronted) then you might have to unfortunately face the fact that you very well might have to "dump her" as you'd described. Because if she won't be able to understand, all defensiveness aside, that you confronted her because you just wanted to honestly know what's up with her lately, then she wasn't that very good a friend to begin with and the both of you are simply better off.
It won't be pretty, and it definitely won't be easy. But it's bothering you, clearly, and won't go away until you take the plunge and face your friend.
Best of luck to you, and please let me know how everything went! :)
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