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humorist-workshop
SO CONFUSED.
Well me and this guy really like eachother, alot.
And everyday we call eachother "baby" and you know, do all the cutesy things that people normally do.
And about, three days ago [not including today], he was JUST telling me how much he adores me and loves me and everything and all that kind of stuff. And well, two days ago he barely talked to me, but he was playing a game, so i figured, understandable you know guys and their games and stuff. By the time we were going to bed, he seemed to return more to normal being flirty and whatnot so I figured "alright, problem's over" but he never said love you like he usually does whenever he leaves for bed.
And then yesterday I didn't get to talk to him at all cause he was like "I'm not gonna be on at all tonight so I'll talk to you soon, k?" [ he had to do stuff with his parents ] and like, signed off before I could say anything.
And well today, just.. I'm getting nothing from him. Usually he IMs me the minute I sign on with a "hey baby!", I waited for like 10 minutes and got nothing and then suddenly I got a "hey". And he's just not being cute, or nothing. He says he's in a stiuation with his friend, so I thought maybe he's just not in the mood but he says now he's feeling better and not thinking about it, but he's still not talking.
We just live a little apart,
so I just get paranoid sometimes he might not have feelings for me at all anymore.
Can someone really just like, stop caring for you after 2 days?
It boggles my mind.
I really just wanna think of it as that he's not in the mood to be all "baby" with what's gonig on with his friend, but I'm not sure anymore.
Any view on the matter?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, given that I don't know much else about your situation, relationship-wise (i.e. how long you've known one another and how well, is it online or offline, and how old both of you are), I will have to give you advice based upon what's been written/given. So please forgive me if it might not be what you were hoping or might be more helpful, all right?
Anyhow, to ME, it seems like this guy you fancy is being a typical teenage guy. That is, not saying "I love you" twenty-four-seven, or sometimes and for some days acting as though he's not into you. And honestly, most of the time it isn't because they're TRYING to make you pull your hair out, wondering what's up with them (although that's still a given any time you deal with guys of any age, truthfully ^_^), but because they're . . . well, GUYS.
It comes with the territory, trust me. We as females (generally speaking) are more hardwired to things of the emotional nature, and crave and almost expect to always hear "I love you!"'s and other mushy things to come out of our guys' mouth. And even if it's how they feel inside, you can't (and shouldn't) expect them to always say it, on command and/or every time you want.
And that's most likely the case with your guy. I'm going to assume that you two aren't officially an item, seeing as you hadn't described him as your "boyfriend" in your question. And if that's really the case, then that's probably why he's also suddenly acting sort of aloof and uninterested even if he still is into you. In HIS mind, as most guys do, he's probably thinking that while he does find you interesting and wouldn't mind making you his girlfriend officially one day, he also doesn't have any "official obligation" or attachment to you. That is, while he obviously seems to enjoy flirting with you and expressing his equally obvious attraction towards you TO you, to him it doesn't mean that this is his way of making any sort of nonverbal agreements that you'll always be his one and only main focus as you would (or should be, if he's the faithful type, that is) if you WERE his girlfriend.
That sounds very confusing and harsh, I know, but that's just how it is sometimes. So if you two AREN'T an item yet but still like each other, there is of course, always hope for you two to become one in the near future. But he could also still be mentally "playing the field," and in fact right now could quite possibly have an extra crush besides you. (But this doesn't also mean that he's a player, either. It's just another "guy thing," that's all.)
Definitely not what you're banking on, I know, and if it does turn out to be this then it will REALLY hurt, that I know, too (from unfortunate, personal experience when I was younger).
Or, it could also be that maybe he's growing a bit turned off by any smothering or overly smothering you may or may not be giving to him or realize that you are. Most (younger) guys aren't really into that religiously, either, and again especially if you aren't attached to him in the "his girlfriend" sense and he really MIGHT be mentally "hottie shopping" still.
However, chances are that he probably just has a lot on his mind at the moment, and doesn't mean to be neglectful of you or even realizes that he is. Maybe that situation with his friend still DOES bother him a bit or at least still has him in a funk, and you ARE just being paranoid for nothing at all.
WHATEVER the ultimate reason and cause for his newfound behavior, you deserve to know AND deserve to not be so continually frazzled by it. (You have enough on your plate in general I'm sure, anyway, right? Don't need to add guy drama to that list!)
So if it gets too bad, I'd definitely suggest you just confront him about it. But DON'T, by any means, get overly dramatic on him about it, either, because that will only make things WORSE, believe it. ^_^'
Just (try to) take a casual demeanor with it, whether online or off. If he's still acting weird with you at that time, then maybe try to take a joking route as the opener. You know: "Geez, am I that boring to you now? Cuz lately you've been acting as though I've sucked the life out of you whenever you talk to me. LoL" And see what he says to that. If it's a carefree response, then build on that and ask, "Are you sure? Because I guess I've just kind of been wondering if everything was all right with you, and if maybe I'd done something to make you upset without realizing."
Whatever his answers, just remember to keep cool, and go easy on the drama, because that will only make him shut down and view you as some "psycho chick" -- which is CLEARLY not what you want (AND make him believe this is how you'll always be in the future if he DOES decide to date you and whenever things might go wrong between you two).
But honestly, hon, I just believe that maybe you really ARE being a tad too paranoid for your own good, as I've said, AND definitely thinking about it/him way too much. Try to take your mind off of things and him. Hang out more with your friends or do things that relax you. And then the next thing you know, without realizing, he'll probably be back to his cute self with the situation having resolved itself. ;)
I hope it all goes well for you, regardless, and that you two do get together if not already, okay? Good luck! :)
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No offense but i think your super paranoid. You need some confidence in this boy. You have to understand that boys need space. Jeez girl! it must be a lot of work if this boy does all of that all the time! Boys need there own time and HATE it when girls are clingy and insecure. Exactly what your doing. Just relax and trust him! Hes your boy so dont worry about it! Give him some space and it will bring you guys closer (weird but true) dont go distant but dont act insecure or clingy. Just let each of you go about your lives without woory. Its better for both of you! If it really starts bothering you just say hey baby are you ok because you seem a little distant and i just want you to know im always here for you and while doing this give him a nice hug. if u have any more questions send me a note in my inbox! Hope i helped and best of luck!♥♥♥HiChick♥♥♥
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