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subpoena


Question Posted Tuesday April 14 2009, 4:37 pm

Hey im 17/f and i've been involved in a case against my ex boyfriend. He was charged with stalking and has to go to court the beginning of may. My current boyfriend now a cop called and said me and him have to pick up a subpoena. Im not really sure what that is. Im confused on the whole thing. I really dont wanna go to court and testify i dont think i could do it. He only spent like a couple hours in jail then his dad bailed him out. I dont want anything crazy to happen to him like i dont want him to go to jail just stay away from me. And i do have a restraining order and the court issued a trial with a jury. I didnt think it was going to get this crazy. I just want everything court related to stop its very scary!

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familyfirst answered Wednesday April 15 2009, 11:30 am:
This sounds very scary!

A subpoena is an official order telling someone they must show up in court.

As far as something crazy happening to him, he brought this on himself.

I think a part of what you are feeling is concern for someone you used to care about. Certainly you want him to be okay and not get into much trouble. The "girlfriend" in you is wanting to take some of his burden away. However, HE is the one to got into trouble. HE is the one who was stalking you. The problem is that if someone is "okay" with stalking, what else is he okay with? You may feel you know him because you dated him but obviously you don't know him as well as you may think. You didn't know when you started dating him that he would end up stalking you. Therefore, stalking could lead to something more serious.

I don't want to scare you even more but stalkers often take the next step. What that next step is depends on his frame of mind. You don't want to find out what that is. Therefore, as guilty as you may feel for "getting all this started" with the restraining order and other court issues, he needs to be contained until he is deemed safe to be in society.

It will all be over soon and when it is you can sigh a sigh of relief. Anything having to do with legal matters is difficult and scary.

You need to keep reminding yourself that A. It is not your fault and B. You are actually the one who is in danger! It may be easy to lose sight of these things because you see this guy that you once cared about having everyone "gang" up on him and you feel a certain need to "protect". Don't. He is not an innocent victim here. He actually did something wrong that landed him in this situation. YOU are the innocent victim and need to remind yourself of this. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. If there is a jury, there are 12 people who will look at all the facts and come to a decision, not just one angry person looking to get him into trouble. He will get what he gets and that is okay. YOU NEED TO BE SAFE.

Best of luck.

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