Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


BF problems


Question Posted Saturday May 2 2009, 10:05 am

well when we first started seeing each other we were happy i didn't know he was like this untill he got kick out from his dads place, i know he has to leave my house because i am feeling even more dret now i dont feel love anymore or that little spark whne i see him i sometimes feel like we are gust "Fuck buddies" more then anything else i feel he is more of a friends now. I do care for him and i understand my mom when seh says their are better guys out their to meet and that i shouldnt be tied down now at such a young age, because i like to hang out with guys and flirt but am restricted rom that now, and when i see other guys i think what a good person they may be if i got to know them. I know to trust my mom mroe then anything els but it hurst to her hear bad talking him behind his back infront of me with her Bf... to me i know what they are saying is true he is not good with money, he is not really an active guy who is fit. I think i am looking for a guy that is more willing to help himself and who takes care of himself and wont push his Gf into doing anything. But also what makes it hard for me to do or try to do it tell him because sometimes i am not sure if i want to be with him or that i do wnat to be with him, but like i said their is like i find no spark left an i find he does manipulate me and bug me when i am trying to do HW a lot. also the fact he is my kinda of frist serious thing in a relation ship, my friend who i was kinda with for 2 monthes even treated me better then he is,....:(*cry* I think thought that you are right and that we do need some time alone or that we are better off friends then anything els because i do not think i am ready for the long haul like he is. i gust need some feed back about thins to see what i should do, because even my mom says i deserve better that i shouldnt be with him.... PLZ HELP

you hlp b4 was good, and i think i need some more..


[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


familyfirst answered Wednesday May 6 2009, 2:15 pm:
Sorry it took me a few days to get back to you. My son has been sick so I haven't been on the computer.

I think that at your age if you have doubts about your relationship and your mom has told you you can do better... you should probably get out. Ask yourself this... do you want to marry him? Do you want to have kids? Would he be a good dad? Would he make you happy with a house and a car and your kids and a dog? I mean, why do we date anyway? Some people are cut out for the life of a bachelor or bachelorette but most of us want to get married and have a family. If you are in this category of wanting a family you need to find a boyfriend that you can see yourself with for the next 60 years.

When a young teen (13-17) asks about relationships it is generally my opinion that they should not be in a "serious" relationship because your life changes SO MUCH after high school and the chances of you staying together are SO SLIM. Once you are in college it is generally my opinion that you should focus on school work but when you do have time for dating, you should date around. You should see what kind of guys you have the most fun with. Those you are most compatible with. Those you get along with the best. Then when you figure out what you are actually looking for as a mate, you will know when you are in "that" relationship that you want to last and THAT relationship is worth working on and fighting for. When you get married, that initial "spark" does tend to dwindle after a while but as it dwindles a new spark begins to grow. This one is deeper. It comes from several years of living with this person, experiencing life, hardships, fun, adventures together. It can be really hard (REALLY HARD) those first 5-7 years. If you make it past that though, you realize that you survived the past 5 years together and you wouldn't have wanted to go through it with anyone else. That is what "true love" is.

We all hit those rough patches in relationships. When you work hard together and survive that hurdle together, your love deepens.

All that being said... is this the guy you want?

You are unsure and Mom says no. You aren't confused about what mom is saying by thinking "i just don't understand why my mom doesn't like him. He is SO wonderful. I just don't know why she feels this way". You agree in many ways.

One last thing, if this is your first "serious" relationship, slow down. Until you figure out who you are and what YOU want out of life, don't add someone else to the mix. You need to be happy with yourself and the direction you are going in. When you have that figured out you can find a man who is headed in the same direction and have an enjoyable ride together.

Best of luck.

[ familyfirst's advice column | Ask familyfirst A Question
]


More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: make-up
Next Question >>> Would this make me a bitch? ;3

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker