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I can not stand my moms boyfriend he is here all the time and I find that weird. On her day offs he should just go cause he has been here all week. Is that ok. That seems a little too much for me. You know what the emotional stress he caused me got me gaining wieght. I was fat now I am fatter. Cause I dont know when he is around I dont even get out of my room so much so basically I am stuck inside. WHen he speaks to me to tell me oh the door is open he sounds like he does not really want to speak to me all though with all my might even when I am mad at him I try to sound friendly to him . He is really mean and I dont want anything to do with his him. His attitude towards me seems really watchfull and its frustratting. LIke behind my moms back he thinks we should act like boyfriend girlfriends you know what I mean. I am really scared to tell this to my mom cause she might get mad and I dont know I just dont have the nerve to say. And he is feeding off all this. YOU know not one time was he ever friendly to me not one time. All I ask is respect when I am around even when I am in the next room and he does not give that. Its always about him all the time cause he thinks my mom depends on him so much.
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If you have genuine problems with your mom's boyfriend, you should have the courage to tell her.
If you just don't like him because he is dating your mom and you have a sense of jealousy because she spends time with him, then this is an understandable emotion from a child whose parent is dating, but you should not give your mother grief because she has a companion in her life.
It sounds like there are real issues with this guy. I don't know what his past. If he is watchful of you it could be because he doesn't trust teenagers. It could even be it is your perception that he is being watchful when in fact he is not.
This being said, you need to open communication with Mom. I believe you were hinting that when Mom isn't around he wants to act like you are his girlfriend. This is completely unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Moms are there to protect their kids. If he has inappropriate behavior toward you your mother needs to know. For one thing, if he is dating her and acting this way toward you, he may be dating her while acting this way with other women.
You should not be a prisoner in your own home. Home is where you should be able to "let your hair down" and be at ease.
You were not specific with why Mom depends on this guy so much. If it is for house work, yard work, some sort of chore, perhaps you could offer to help out more so he would not be as "needed". If it is financial perhaps you are old enough to get a job and could help her out a bit in that way; pay your cell phone bill, buy your own clothes, pay for your own entertainment such as movies and eating out. Then you could present to Mom that this guy is not all that great, that she can do better, and you are willing to help her so that she can feel confident enough to get rid of him.
I strongly suggest you approach Mom as maturely and lovingly as you can. I would not discuss this in the heat of an arguement. Catch her when she is just lounging around or cooking or something. Possibly in the car. Start by saying something like "hey mom, I have something weighing on my mind and I really need to talk to you about it. This isn't going to be easy for me to say and probably hard for you to hear but will you please listen to me with and open mind and hear me out?" Then tell her what your problems are. Be mature about it. Leave out the personal attacks such as he watches too much t.v., he dresses like a dork, I can't stand the sound of his voice, etc. Give her concrete things such as " The other day while you were at the store he was here. I was in my room doing homework and he came into the room yelling at me about the laundry" or "As rude as he can be with me, sometimes he still makes me uncomfortable with putting his arm around me".
The most important thing I can stress is that you cannot shut your mom out. If you are feeling true feelings of concern about this guy either for your own safety or you feel he is verbally or emotionally abusing you, Mom needs to know. If you don't tell her and things get worse or something bad happens, she may feel horribly guilty and wonder why you never came to her about this.
Be respectful. Realize that Mom may desire companionship and you need to accept her friends. If you are accepting and respectful to everyone and suddenly there is one person you have problems with, it will be easier for her to believe there is an actual problem.
Best of luck.
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