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Growing Pains
Okay. Let me start off by explaining myself. I am 13 years old currently. I am dating a senior in high school who is seventeem. (Please don't criticize me asking why I am dating him. I didn't ask to fall in love) We have been dating for about a year now, and its safe to say that we are in love with each other. In a couple of weeks, he is graduating from high school. I also have about 11 other friends that are graduating also.
Now, on his birthday (August 11th), unfortunately, I have to break up with him. The reason why, is because I don't want to become jailbait for him, and it's also very difficult keeping a long-distance relationship. The day after his birthday, he has to leave to go to college.
I've been really depressed lately, and it's all going downhill from here. Can you please give me tips on how to cope with the pain of losing my boyfriend and my closest friends leaving me? I would really appreciate it. Oh, and by the way, my parents have no idea i'm dating him.
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Unfortunately, you seem to have gotten yourself in a situation where you're hanging out with people that are too old for you. Yeah, I know, you don't want to hear that. But there are several reasons why you shouldn't hang out with people that are five years older than you when you're thirteen.
This is one of the big reasons. Now all of your friends and your boyfriend are going to leave for college and they're honestly not going to have time like they do now. They'll probably in class, doing homework, working, partying, or sleeping at all times. They're not going to have time to call you up on the phone and talk for 4 hours straight.
Even if you try a long distance thing with your boyfriend, he's not going to be able to call you every night to see how your day was and talk to you for a prolonged period of time.
I think it's a good idea that you are breaking up with him after he turns 18. Not only because he's not going to be a minor anymore, but because once he goes off to college, it will most likely be only pain for you. Since you've been together for a year it would be very difficult to switch to a long distance relationship. Especially since he's going to be in college, and I said before, most likely very busy.
You'll make new friends and find a new boyfriend. It sucks that they're all leaving, but you had to know that was going to happen at the end of this school year. Try finding friends and guys that are near your own age. If you just become friends with the upcoming seniors, you're going to have this problem all over again next year.
As far as coping with the pain, hang out with the people you hang out with at school over summer break. If you have some girl friends that are your age that you hang out with, try to get closer to them over break. That way, when school starts and everyone else leaves, you'll still have a support system out of the friends that are your age.
Darby(:
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You are not going to like this, but I don't think you are going to take any advice anyone gives you because you are not even going to break up with him and you know it (unless he is going away to college). First of all, if you don't have sex with him, you won't be jailbait. If this is a case of true love, and he is the right guy for you, adults who love you will be able to see it and they won't have a problem with you being together. You love him, and maybe he is great, but the if he did go to jail for having sex with you it would put him on the sex offender list and could possibly ruin his life. If you really love him, and don't feel comfortable in talking about him to your parents than you have to stop having sex with him (if you are). Sex is not the most important thing, and if you think he wouldn't want to be with you if you didn't have sex, than you know he doesn't really love you, you're just good for him for the time being. He could be a great guy, but there is a chance he could be a pervert, too. If he is a really young and immature 17, it really sucks because you guys probably have a lot in common, but if he is a regular 17 year old, your age difference is a little unusual. I can understand why you are attracted to him, but his motivations are a little more suspicious. In your heart, you know where you stand, and if he will not meet your parents and get their approval, than he's gonna have to go without sex when he turns 18. If he won't do either of those things than he really doesn't love you and he's just a pervert. You're so much better off without him. As far as all of your friends. Life is like that, and your going to meet new friends and have a great life and high school experience. You'll run into those guys once in a while and still be friends.
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