QueenofDiamonds's advice column

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Q: Ok, well I don't have quite a gf yet but I just wanna know how things like one month anniversaries work and other stuff so I can teach my self to be a good bf for ehn i get a gf someday. So anyways what are one month anniversaries and how they work? Well that was my main question but I would also like to know other relationship stuff.

hello.

Basically a one month anniversary is just celebrating the day that you starting going out one month before. Sometimes people celebrate by going to dinner gifts and stuff like that. The gifts can be anything from flowers and chocolates or even a mixed cd with songs that remind you of the other person. If you're not sure what you want to get your girlfriend you can always ask her too. I think if you want to be a good boyfriend you should try your best to show her how much you care. listen to her when she talks,hold her hand when you're around your friends, tell her you care about her. Bring her a gift every now and then. Even if its just an inexpensive one. And don't put pressure on the relationship to do anything more than she feels comfortable with.

I know that if my boyfriend did that I'd be his for life.

Q: ok so my friend and i made plans to go to this concert we already have the tickets and its this friday... we dont have a ride back and my brother is having a party and its kinda like my birthday party to. so many of my friends are going to it including my boyfriend and i barely ever get to see him.. well the party and the concert are on the same night, the concert i think is going to be so stupid and its just like garage bands except for just surrender but i dont really like them that much anyways well my friend is super excited about going to this concert but i would much rather go hang out with my boyfriend who i hardly ever see besides in school and party... i told my friend i dont think i could go, i mean we dont even have a ride back and stuff and she freaked out saying how much stress i was putting on her but like.. i dont see whats so stressful about it and that i shouldnt blow her off to go party and that she will never talk to me again if i dont go with her and shes going to call the cops? yeah thats what she said ha. i dont want to blow her off and make her upset but i really want to go to my party and i thought i was being nice and i told her that ill give her my ticket that i paid for and she could bring someone else that actually would want to go but apparently that meant to her i was being rude and only thinking of myself? im so stuck if other people were in my situation what would you do? go to a party with all your friends or go to a concert that your going to have a horrible time at to make your friend happy?
if i go to the concert all my friends and boyfriend will be stuck at my house alone with my brother and his friends..

It seems a bit to me that she's trying to emotionally blackmail you. I don't think you should let yourself be affected. She's telling you about how you blew her off. But if you think she's blowing off YOUR birthday party where she knows your boyfriend you don't get to see to often isn't going to be there. If it was my friend I'd understand that she wanted to see go to a birthday party. It's not any old party. And its not like you like the people playing anyways or that you have a ride back. I say go to the party but help your friend find someone else to go with her. If you want to be the peacemaker though. Maybe you could go to half the concert and then leave early for the party.

Q: i have been going to the same church for about 8 years, and my paretns work there. i am a core kid, but i have gotten "replaced" but some other girl. she has taken the spot of all the original core kids. so to speak. so the original core kids are getting burnt out of our current church and we havent been getting anything out of it, so we are going to a different church for the next few weeks, and my youth pastor isnt happy with that. he says im not being faithful. what should i do?

I'm not necessarily sure what wrong with what you're doing. There is nothing wrong with changing churches if you aren't getting spiritually fulfilled. Though if you guys leaving is just a reaction to that girl pushing you out. That might be a bad move.

Q: Ok, well im 14/f and i havent had my "first kiss" yet and all of my friends have. They always ask me in front of other guys, "have you kissed a boy yet?" and im like, "no." But anyways, i feel weird because all my other friends come in and their like "Omg, i totally made out with this guy and he was such a good kisser!" I know i shouldn't feel like this but i do! Please help.

Don't worry about it. If they try and make you feel uncomfortable just laugh it off and say. I'm trying to wait for quality unlike some people.(jokingly.) Don't take it too seriously. But if you don't want to do that talk to them and tell them not to talk about who you kiss (or don't kiss) in front of everyone else. I personally think you're perfectly normal and don't need to rush for them.

Q: ok, lets start of by saying.. i hav this boyfriend right... weve been together for about a month and a half. everything is going good but theres a few issues i dont know how to handle.
1) his Ex... who happens to be one of my good friends.. the issue is .... i mean, i love her to death.. shes pretty cool with me, but ill admit she can be a real... hmm.. b**** to him too sumtimes. she never liked him. she used him. he fell really hard for her and he had liked her for a while and even wen they dated for that little time.. most of the time she was cheating on him (which i didnt know at the time). well anyways.. even tho she broke his heart repeatedly he still liked her after that for a while. hes tried to hav a few girlfriends after that but they never worked out because 1. him n the girls were usually not friends. 2. he wud always go back to liking his EX, even tho she hurt him so much..
ive tried to be there by his side during every single one of these situations... and ive stuck around because we were best friends, so i know wat would happen each and every time. but this time, he says its different. he even told me he loves me and i told him the same. but back to his ex, im afraid the same thing will happen.. becuz he still kinda considered her one of his best friends still !! and i dont wanna get hurt if he tells me the same old story...
im asking for help on how to make the feelings kind of go away.. i trust him with my heart and to not break it, but the feeling of fear is still there.. is there is way to make it go away?
im kind of happy because so far hes lasted with me longer than the 3 othr gf's after her tht lasted lik a few days...
but he even promises me that he would never hurt me because i mean the world to him, i was the only one that helped him get over his broken heart and hes so amazing and sweet to me.. i know he would never hurt me, or anyone on purpose because he knows what thats like and i know hes not the type of person to hurt sumone on purpose... but sumtimes you cant control your feelings, but i see differences than with the other girls.. *he told me he loved me. *hes lasted with me longer than the other girls *hes still amazing to me, even after this time we've been together and hes not showing any "shifty" signs.. meaning.. he doesnt seem to be "Moving on from me".. at least it seems it because he still acts the same, only every day he acts sweeter to me and more and more amazing and tells me how much he really loves me and that im the first person to realize who he really is and truely accept him..

If he loves you then you just have to trust him. Honestly I don't think I would be friends with someone who cut down my boyfriend and pretended to be friends with them and called the names behind their backs. Not liking someones boyfriend is one thing but to trick him is another. You should let your boyfriend know that she's not a good person and that he should stay away from her. If he doesn't believe you then it might be time to tell him what she does. If I were you though I wouldn't put up with someone who's that evil. You should tell her to stop talking about your boyfriend and being mean or hit the bricks. I know that's blunt but she sounds like a real pill. If she's talking behind his back. She could be talking behind yours.

Q: 18/f dating an 18/m

Ok. I live in Illinois and I'm in a 4 month long distance relationship with a boy who lives in North Carolina. We met a year ago and when he was in town over new years we finally decided to try the long distance thing. we mostly talk every day through texting and over the phone and through MSN and stuff. so from January all through March things are going amazingly well. We spent two weeks together over spring break, and he's coming here this weekend for my prom. I know I'm head over heels in love with him.

But, lately he's been kind of distant.. like I have to be the one instigating the conversations and I have to seek him out. We don't really have a lot to talk about except make little jokes and mild flirtation. THe other day I called him twice and he didn't answer or call me back at all until the following day. My friends keep saying he's being an asshole and I should tell him, but I really don't want to be "That bitchy, nagging girlfriend". I'm crazy about him, and he says he loves me, but the distance is really making em paranoid.

What should I do? I've gone to bed the past few nights almsot in tears because i'm getting so frustrated by him ignoring me... I have thoughts about moving in together and such. I'm so in love, and he's the funniest, most romantic person I know (and the first guy to make me feel wanted and loved) but I think we've lost the spark due to the distance. Please help!

Thanks so much in advance.

I think you should ask him if there's anything wrong. Don't accuse him of cheating. But just be like "So seem a little distant lately is anything wrong?" If he says nothing and continues to act distant than it's time for you to decide whether you want to continue or move. You've said yourself that you feel you've lost the spark and maybe he's thinking the same thing. Maybe you should try talking to him about that too and make a conclusion from his response. Like if he says the sparks still there and then still acts different. Chances are somethings changed and it might be best to move on, but if he tells you what's wrong and you guys try to work it out it might work. Though you should both also discuss if either of you like or want to continue doing something that's long distance.

Q: i have recently been self medicating myself and ive been acting very weird like should i jus stop takin all of it completely or wat??Also ive been cutting for 5yrs and ive tried stopping by using my coping skills and everything but my body has been giving up on me.There are times now that when i get mad i feel suicidal and i hear things>>>>HELP

I think you should talk to a psychologist. Someone who can help you cope with your problems so you don't have to face them alone.

Q: 18/F

I dated my current boyfriend for almost a year before, but he broke things off, and we were apart for a little over six monthes. We had a lot of problems the first time, but when we got back together this past August my boyfriend seemed to have cleaned up his act. He was much more apreciative, respectful, responsible, and attentive. He said that breaking up with me was the worst mistake of his life. Things were great for around six or seven monthes, but especially in the last month or so he's been slipping into his old habbits: not calling me all day, calling me back two hours after he said he would, showing up late, taking forever to do anything, calling me names(mostly jokingly, but it still bothers me), hitting back when I smack his arm or something(also pretty much jokingly, but still), etc. He also lost his job not too long ago, so he's always broke and when he does come into some money he blows it on stuff he doesn't need rather than pay some bills or buy parts for his truck that's falling apart. He's not working very hard at getting another job either. He's been so good to me up until recently and I care about him so much, I just don't know if I can put up with his bs for much longer. I really feel like I need to brake things off, but it feels wrong, like I'm going to leave him just when he needs me most. I don't want to loose him forever or cause him to do something stupid(he's not the most stable person), but I can't take anymore of the stuff he's pulling. There's also another factor, my bestfriend. He's this amazing guy who's been right in front of my eyes for the past year, but I'm just now relizing how good we are together and what a great boyfriend he would make. I've been having a lot of feelings for him lately, that I probably shouldn't be having, but I can't help it. He's such a sweet guy, he's never taken advantage of me in any way, he's there for me when I need him most, he's a great listner, he makes me smile, and he always keeps things interesting. Best of all we're always in sync, and we can never stay mad at eachother for more than a milisecond. Lately when I'm with my bestfriend is the only time that I feel comfortable, and can relax. With him there's no pressure what so ever. The only problem is that I'm scared that if I do break up with my boyfriend and things do go past friendship with my bestfriend I might mess everything up and lose the best friend I ever had, plus my boyfriend used to be very paranoid about something happing between my bestfriend and me, so he'd probably freak out big time. Not to mention my bestfriend would feel incredibly guilty if he thought he was even one of the reasons why I broke things off with my boyfriend. Help!

Well I think that this guy is taking you for granted. Seems he's hit that lull in you relationship we're he thinks now that's he's 'got you' as a girlfriend he can call back whenever he wants. I think that if you want to give him another chance then you should talk to him and tell him that if he doesn't clean up his act and start appreciating you then you're going to leave. (but don't say for the other guy that's just mean). Honestly though its sounds like for this guy old habits have and always will die hard. But if you think talking with him will change him then stay. But it you know that he's going to keeping going through these bouts of 'i'm nice then i'm mean' phases then move on. To tell you the truth the other guy sounds like a nice guy. And someone who's going to be the guy you really want. My final advice is don't settle for a guy who won't treat you right all the time. Don't you think you deserve better.

Q:
f/15
So i like this guy, isnt that what is always is. but he just broke up with his 'girlfriend' and she is one of my friends. she broke up with him and she doesnt want to be with him but he keeps on trying to be all cutsie with her. I would completely understand if he just didnt like me but we talk all the time, we have kissed/made out. he comes to see me after work like at my window if my parents are asleep. its adorable. i really really like him but im not sure how i should handle all this. i dont want to be someones rebound. ive been messed with enough this year.

Not to be offensive but this guy sounds like he is making you a rebound. If he's still being cutsie with his ex girlfriend maybe you should walk away until he figures out what he wants.

Q: alrighty so i'm 15/f and i'm still a virgin, never had a bf and never fooled around before. so basicly i'm totally unexperienced. but it's not cause i'm ugly or something, in fact a couple of guys liked me but i'm probably the shyest person ever: i cant even look boys i like in the eye :/. so yeah nothing ever happened.
so all my friends and classmates already did stuff like fingering, blowjobs handjobs sex etc.
theyre also around 15 years old. i'm like a total outsider and i cant even imagin a guy seeing me without a top or anything. i'm just extremely shy as i said before. and i'm NEVER gonna make a move. the only guys i can talk to are ugly guys cause around them i dont feel nervous obviously. (sorry if this is a bit offencinve)
and also, is it normal that everyone is already doing this stuff at this age??? i feel so weird. i mean yeah i like imagining me doing that stuff as well, but i CANT in person. and yeahyeah i know its not all about physical stuff but i cant even TALK to a hot guy or a guy i really like.
is the behaviour of my friends normal at this age?
and is there something wrong with me?
and as i said it'S NOT my looks because i've been told i'm one of the prettiest girls in school. and i SERIOUSLY dont wanna brag or anything, i just want to give you the facts so i can get good answers :P
well thanks for reading. :) xxx

I absolutely positively don't think there's anything wrong with you. If you look in my column( I think one below yours there's a question someone asked about why people don't stay with one person anymore. If you read my response I said there is way to much emphasis on sex. Honestly I think you're completely normal. I'm not exactly a crackpot with guys either. (most of us aren't we all end up flubbing anyways.) I think that if you relax a little and remember this you'll loosen up a bit and not be so worried about how the conversation will go. Seriously I think that you should stop worrying about having sex or other sexual activities. When you become ready to do that then you'll be more comfortable. I don't know if it's normal what they're doing. I mean was in hisgh school I was not doing anything of the sort and didn't think anything was odd. I don't think you should worry about it everyone matures at a different age. Consider yourself one of the lucky few that you still have your virginity. I think it's a precious. Don't give it way because of your friends. Just be comfortable with yourself and forget people who try to change you. I think once people get comfortable with they'll be more comfortable with other people

Q: seems like everyone in this world can not just be with one person. they end up cheating. why are people like that?

I personally think people are like that due to the fact that our culture doesn't put an important emphasis to sticking with one person any more. Even from an early age people are taught "not to get too serious" you have your whole life ahead of you. So kids think. "Okay maybe they're right." So people think Let me sow my 'wild oats' and do whatever i want and then later I'll be in a relationship with one person. But by then it's too late. Kids have been so programmed that If you find someone new you can throw away the old person. And now that's just a common way of life. Not that I'm saying kids should begin to get serious at say twelve or thirteen. I just think that If our society were to teach younger kids that it's okay to wait until later in life (late teens) to start dating then maybe the value of relationships would grow. Also I think there is way to much attention put on sex. In everything you see people everywhere are thinking about sex. Kids catch on. They're not stupid. And i hate to be the one to blame the media but how many shows are there out there have sex somewhat involved? After a while it just starts to get ingrained into your life. If people stopped for a second and worried about other aspects of a relationship besides sex I think the rate people break up and move on to someone new would be dramatically decreased...

But then again that's just my point of view. I know it was long but I've been thinking that myself. And came to that conclusion a while ago.

Q: i'm 15/f and i have never had an actual boyfriend and i've never kissed a guy. I feel so behind from all the other girls at school. I just don't feel like i want to take on all the drama that comes with a relationship.

I'm not ugly or anything and i think guys don't ask me out because i'm kind of one of them. I love video games and playing guitar, and skateboarding. The dresses and stuff don't really get me.

I'm worried about being single for the rest of my life! I want to keep my guy friends though, they're like my brothers and i'm worried that if i ever get a guy he won't let me hang out with my boys!

Hi,

I don't think you should worry. I'm sure that the right guy will come along, when you're ready to date. Even if that's not in high school. One that will like that you skateboard and that you're comfortable around other guys. So don't worry. And if the guy tries to get you to give up your friends he's not worth it anyways.

Q: this is a weird question haha. i'm 14/f and i'm taller and a little bigger (not fat) than most of my friends. Whenever i hang out with people, i feel so awkward and i feel like i don't look girly. I feel very manly and beastly compared to other girls. I'm also not really good at talking to people haha i know i'm a mess :]

what can i do to feel less awkward all the time?

I think the other two are right you do have to except yourself. Once you get that down things will get better. Try wearing flats so the the height difference isn't very pronounced and if you dont' feel girl try putting on makeup. If you don't like wearing makeup you don't have to put on tons of it just little touches like lip gloss and maybe some eyeliner. I know that when I feel a little down and then put on some make up. I feel prettier. For not being able to talk to people. I have to again repeat that you've got to learn to be yourself. Otherwise you won't have any fun and it will come off as you being awkward. Just don't take talking to people so seriously. Even if you blunder and say something stupid just laugh it off. Being able to talk to people isn't a skill most are born with. I think if you want to get comofortable with talking to people you've just got to put yourself out there. One tip though for having a conversation. You can always walk away before it starts getting those awkward silences. Just say. "Oh I see my friend____ over there. I'll talk to you later." I do that all the time and I feel way less uncomfortable.

Q: My mother has 2 more kids. My older brother and younger sister. I always felt since we were little that she favored my brother and sister over me. For example, she would treat them nicer and buy them more things. She is my biological mother. She was never really supportive of me only when it would benefit her as far as make her have a good reputation or if it would benefit her financially. So I started working when I was twelve years old. I was always the most independent of my mom's 3 kids because I had no choice-she thought I was a joke. My stepfather who caused her to go from houses, cars, credit cars, and steady well-paying job to apartments, debt, catching the bus,and working at Wal-Mart, is the reason for her failures in which she insist. Everyone warned her to get out of her situation; still she stayed. In spring of January 2001, I filed my first tax returns. My mom's patient died and she chose to remain out of work due to my uncle bribing her to let his daughter live with us because he was getting a settlement from a lawsuit and he was supposed to pay her some money. My uncle never gave her a dime. When he got the settlement, he was no where to be found. When I received my tax returns, my mother implied that I shoud take my money and pay the rent which was 2 months behind and I had my car to pay for and take out of the shop in order to get to work. So when we all got evicted another two months later and I winded up moving in with my aunt, She was still allowing her husband to take her car and never return for days. She was living in a hotel room. Sometimes I helped and gave her a ride to work. But I used to work over night. The job I had wasn't even helping to get new place because of the constant car problems and payment. It was mothers day and Me and my older cousin went to my grandmothers house where my mom was. I gave the both of them beautiful mother's day cards. My mom was disappointed because there was no money in the card. My mom gave me a ride home. And my work clothes that was in the back seat, I was going to take home to wash. But my mom insisted that she would wash them. But my aunt had a washing machine and dryer in her house. I thought my mom was acting wierd. But I let her wash them. When she finally gave them back to me washed 3 days later. I put them on and went to work. I lost my job-as in fired. I lost a lot of jobs since then. Even now whenever she doesn't get her share of my large amounts of money from me- I lose jobs or cars or something. I gained a lot of weight that has been on for five years and whenever she sees that I lost weight she tries to make me eat. She will even ask me over the phone if I lost any weight. When I lived with her temporarily she wanted me to get a job instead of finishing school. But not to work for long. Now that I am a mother of a 19 month old baby boy,she mentioned that she doesn't want me to get a job but to go to school. I am in a HUD program which provides subsidised housing. and I just moved to a new apartment in September 2007. I told my mother not to give my son's father my phone number and she did it anyway and told me. My son's father called me and I winded up moving him in with the fact that he proposed marriage and to raise our son and his older son together. But all he did was treat me like crap and disrespect me, I had to call the cops on him numerous times, Child protective services is involved because I had to file a restraint order against him and the stupid judge listened to all his lies and lifted the order. He went around the complex and told everyone(women) that I was a whore. If any police comes back there or any restraint order is filed again I will lose my son and my apartment and HUD assistance. I notice when she calls my house or I call her and there is no fighting or little fighting between me and my son's father, as early as the next day before we get out of bed my son's father starts barking at me. My phone is disconnected now until Thursday and I will be changing my phone number. I don't know what to do. I want my son's father out of my apartment and he can take his older son with him. I just want some peace. I am at the point where I don't give a hoot about my mom or what the issues are in my apartment. I just want to take my son and move somewhere and move on with my life the way that God meant it. I don't care. I have things to do and accomplish and places to go. My son is my obligation and whoever do not fit in what it is that I'm about to do, they will be left behind, cut off, and rejected. Now the bible says "Thou shall honor thy mother and father" should I cut my mother off. Because 5 years of my life has gone down the drain. But she did whatever she wanted to do with hers. I don't know what went wrong or what is going on. But I now believe in that old saying about "the company that you keep". For the sake of my son and my future, should I cut my mother off?

Hi,

yes you should cut your mother off. She's obviously just a nuisance and you've said yourself that she ruins your life.Change your number and do not under any circumstances call her. I also think you shouldn't wait for you son's father to leave your life you should leave on you own. Is there any way you can try and get sole custody? Try that? Or maybe look into finding a job in a new town if it's possible.

Q: 16/f. I feel extremely hurt right now. Ok, so my mom basically defends my dad in any situation whatsoever, even if he's wrong. That includes defending him in fights between me and him. I used to get into a lot of fights with my parents but now that's kind of been reduced because I've learned to not overreact to things and just to be the better person in the situation. My dad gets into a lot of cranky moods. He'll be really nice sometimes and cranky other times. My mom knows he's always cranky and admits it. The thing is, he always takes his moods out on me-almost on a daily basis. When he does that, I kind of talk back (not fight), which, as a person with feelings, I think I have the right to do when someone picks on me for no reason. So, he just picks these fights with me all the time when I never did anything. Once, in a blue moon, but not very often, though, I'll admit that maybe I'm the one who starts a fight (but what teenager doesn't fight with their parents?) In cases like these, my mom steps right in to defend my dad. Trust me, she gets FULLY involved and gets even more mad at me than my dad is. But that doesn't happen real often. However, when my dad picks these almost daily fights with me, she NEVER EVER defends me and even finds little ways to defend my dad. I'll go to her after the fact, when my dad's not around and be like, "why does dad vent his moods out on me every day?" and she'll be like "he's cranky, just ignore him" So, clearly she agrees that he's not treating me well. So she without fail defends my dad when it's my fault, but never defends me, when it's (more often) his. Oh and also, he's moody to her a lot to and she doesn't do anything about it. Plus, he's even cranky to my friends and one is even afraid to call our house anymore. Today, I talked to my mom about the situation and asked her why she never defends me. She was like, "I'm not getting involved in your fights with him" and then I said "you get involved in the rare occasion that it's my fault" and she had no answer. Another thing she said was, "He's the adult, you're the child". And she just kept on saying "don't drag me into this." It really hurts me that she fails to see that even though I'm a "child" I have feelings too. And it really hurts me that she never ever defends me and I'm her DAUGHTER! She doesn't care about my feelings. She must be afraid of him somehow but, I don't know why and I don't know why she's always (since I was born) doing this.

So, what are your thoughts, and more importantly, what in the world should I do about my mom? (Sorry it was long)

Hi,

I know what you feel about having a dad who's a complete jerk. My dad was like that but luckily my mom always defended me. They fought a lot about how he was treating me and my siblings when they were married. Now they're divorced. Anyways I think you should try one more time to talk to you mom. Say "Mom it hurts that you see me getting picked on and you don't help or support me. You let him walk all over me and don't say a word,unless its to break me down more. I feel helpless because you only see me as the child. I still have feelings. I'm not trying to be disrespectful but I feel like I'm getting attacked all the time, and it's tiring." If that doesn't work then do what I did. Avoid both of your parents like the plague for as much as possible,unless you absolutely have to talk to either of them. Go over to you friends house. Eat your dinner in your room. And if you have to eat dinner with them then eat really fast and get up. Spend whatever time you have to spend at home with him in your room. Only speak to him when spoken to. If he starts a fight. Just be placating. Like if he says 'Why is your room a mess' say "Sorry i'll clean it up." you don't have to support his thoughts or ideas the point is to survive living in a house with two annoying adults.If your mom refuses to help you. Only spend time with your mom if you have to. Like if she's taking you clothes shopping by what you need to and get out of the stores as fast as possible. Oh also try getting a job. You can get out of the house and save money for the day you turn 18.

hope this helped.

Q: Ok so heres the deal. I have a really good and easy job. Im basically a concierge at a resort. I get paid good money for doing almost nothing. There is only me and one other girl that have this job. The problem is that my boss is totally unfair and my coworker gets everything her way. For example, the past 2 weeks she has gotten a extra day off and i got none. I keep my mouth shut all the time but i just got hit with the last straw. We are changing our schedules for the summer time and it was supposed to go into effect on a saturday which would mean my coworker would be workin on friday. shes arguing and doesnt want to work friday. neither do i. but my boss gave her her way and shes now off friday and i have to work for her when its supposed to be my day off. i tried sayin its not fair but everyone expects me to be so easy going that it doesnt matter what i say. i still have to work. and it makes it more difficult because my boss is my girlfriends dad and i live with them. (by the way i am female too). im soo fed up at this point that if it were any other job i would quit but its too good of a job. how can i get them to take me seriously??? i really need some advice.

Try talking to him when you know he's alone. Say very seriously (but not rudely being as that could be awkward since you live with them) that you are disappointed in what has been going on. Maybe he didn't give a day off because you never asked for one? Maybe you should ask for a day off. Tell him that you love your job but you feel used when he makes you pick up the slack for the other girl. And you'd like a day off too once in a while.

Q: Well, i went out w/ this guy for 2.5 months, and then i broke up w. him, cause he said to another girl i'll break up w/ her if you'll go out w/ me, and then i broke up w/ him and then he said that that was a stupis reason to break up w/ him, and then he started going out w/ another girl (who's one of my best friends) not even to days after we broke up. And now i lke another guy. And i think that my ex is mad at me, so would you be mad and do you have any good advice about how to ask out a guy?

I would be mad at him. He sounds like a creep. I think you should ask out the guy you like to maybe a movie or bowling. Just be like do you want to hang out at the movies on friday. don't say "Go out" unless you're sure about how he feels. You can even make it a group thing if you don't know if he likes you.

Good Luck

Q: hey im in my 15s im a dude {yess} lol
i want to know how can i talk to a girl dat i dont know i see her most of the time not in school, her parents have a store they sell like cds n movies well aniways my aunt has a store in front of hers and i see her like when i go to my aunts store but im to emberrased to go and talk to her besides her parents are like there in the store

Hi

I would suggest maybe casually going over to her parents store. Act as if you're trying to buy a cd or something. And catch her eye. Does she work there? or does she just hangout there after school. If she works there then ask her to check the price on something(even if you already know it) and then try to strike up a conversation. If you're not ready for the conversation then just smile.If she doesn't work there but just hangs around then catch her eye and smile.Then if you ever see her in school you can smile at her and mabye wave. (It won't be as weird as it would be if you didn't go to her store because she'll proablly recognize you.

Q: Ok, well, i'm in that phase when i like a guy,but i've never talked to him (ahh,pathetic, right?)
but anyways, i always see him around my school, in the hallways,lunches, and going to class. he's a year older-so thats the only time i see him! I've made eye contact with him, and from friends i've heard he "checked me out" :D

The thing is, i'm not sure HOW i'll go about saying hi to him with out making it too forward or awkward!
i want him to see my confident personality like i have with my friends, but i feel self concious about my weight (i'm a bit muscular, from softball) but i just don't know what he'll think of me.

any tips on how i can go about talking to him, flirting and being more, welll..me around him?!

thanks so much :D!

15/f

Just smile and maybe say hi when you see him. Then when he gets used to that. Try and strike up a conversation with him.

Q: So, there is this guy , T, who I have liked for several months, we are pretty much perfect for each other, but I never made a move because he had a girlfriend ( who was 18) ( he is 15), plus he had recently moved from the east coast to the west (here) so I knew they were going to break it off eventually. Now i still really like him and we are good friends, but I dont want to freak him out because he just broke up with his ex like a week ago, and they have dated for almost 2 years.

But now I suspect our mutual friend to like him too! I never told J that I like T because I thought she would tell him and he was still in a realtionship, so that would kill our friendship. I want to stay friends with J but it would break my heart if they dated.

Then there is this guy D who is always telling me how much he likes this one girl, M. who is our ( D and my) mutual friend, now she knows that he likes her, but she doesnt know that he is always hitting on me. D and I are in yoga PE with J and when I am in some positions , he makes weird comments like "dayummm, id tap that" , and if i ask why he forgot his yoga mat, he says " i was hoping i could just lay on you"

I have no freaking idea what to do about my feelings for T, how i should handle the J situation, and how to respond to D with out hurting him or M.

help?

If I were you I drop a few hints to J that you like T. So then it won't come as a shock if you ever want to pursue a relationship with him. Then I would tell D that you weren't interested and that his comments made you uncomfortable. And then I would tell M That he was hitting on you. So she won't get her feelings hurt if he doesn't like her.

bio

I'm Celeste. I'm really good at helping people and I give great advice. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.
So if you need any help, just ask. If you wouldn't like to post your question here. Contact me with your question by email. I'm always checking my email so I'll be sure to get back to you. I'm very serious about the advice I give. I abhor people who give random unhelpful responses. So if you ask me a question I'll be sure to give you an answer that's relevant.

-Celeste-