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Boyfriend vs. Bestfriend
18/F
I dated my current boyfriend for almost a year before, but he broke things off, and we were apart for a little over six monthes. We had a lot of problems the first time, but when we got back together this past August my boyfriend seemed to have cleaned up his act. He was much more apreciative, respectful, responsible, and attentive. He said that breaking up with me was the worst mistake of his life. Things were great for around six or seven monthes, but especially in the last month or so he's been slipping into his old habbits: not calling me all day, calling me back two hours after he said he would, showing up late, taking forever to do anything, calling me names(mostly jokingly, but it still bothers me), hitting back when I smack his arm or something(also pretty much jokingly, but still), etc. He also lost his job not too long ago, so he's always broke and when he does come into some money he blows it on stuff he doesn't need rather than pay some bills or buy parts for his truck that's falling apart. He's not working very hard at getting another job either. He's been so good to me up until recently and I care about him so much, I just don't know if I can put up with his bs for much longer. I really feel like I need to brake things off, but it feels wrong, like I'm going to leave him just when he needs me most. I don't want to loose him forever or cause him to do something stupid(he's not the most stable person), but I can't take anymore of the stuff he's pulling. There's also another factor, my bestfriend. He's this amazing guy who's been right in front of my eyes for the past year, but I'm just now relizing how good we are together and what a great boyfriend he would make. I've been having a lot of feelings for him lately, that I probably shouldn't be having, but I can't help it. He's such a sweet guy, he's never taken advantage of me in any way, he's there for me when I need him most, he's a great listner, he makes me smile, and he always keeps things interesting. Best of all we're always in sync, and we can never stay mad at eachother for more than a milisecond. Lately when I'm with my bestfriend is the only time that I feel comfortable, and can relax. With him there's no pressure what so ever. The only problem is that I'm scared that if I do break up with my boyfriend and things do go past friendship with my bestfriend I might mess everything up and lose the best friend I ever had, plus my boyfriend used to be very paranoid about something happing between my bestfriend and me, so he'd probably freak out big time. Not to mention my bestfriend would feel incredibly guilty if he thought he was even one of the reasons why I broke things off with my boyfriend. Help!
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Edit-- ....why did I get a 1
Okay. He's a typical guy. The first six months from August, he was being fake and trying hard to impress you. Seriously you can't change a guy. I mean what's so bad about not calling you all day or two hours late? My boyfriend does that stuff too and I don't have a cow.
About the bestfriend. I'm gonna say this. You've probably heard it a million times but it's true, think about it. Don't leave the one you love for the one you like. Yeah, he's a good friend, but what if he's a terrible boyfriend. You're boyfriend is good seriously you just expect him to be perfect. Things WILL get better. You need be nice to him and try being shy around him like at first, or something, make him want you again. He's probably getting fed up with your strictness. No offense...
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Well I think that this guy is taking you for granted. Seems he's hit that lull in you relationship we're he thinks now that's he's 'got you' as a girlfriend he can call back whenever he wants. I think that if you want to give him another chance then you should talk to him and tell him that if he doesn't clean up his act and start appreciating you then you're going to leave. (but don't say for the other guy that's just mean). Honestly though its sounds like for this guy old habits have and always will die hard. But if you think talking with him will change him then stay. But it you know that he's going to keeping going through these bouts of 'i'm nice then i'm mean' phases then move on. To tell you the truth the other guy sounds like a nice guy. And someone who's going to be the guy you really want. My final advice is don't settle for a guy who won't treat you right all the time. Don't you think you deserve better.
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Look at it like this: What if you and him get married? And while yall was married, he lost his job, his car is messed up, and when he does get some money he doesnt pay bills. Would you rather try to save your relationship and be on the streets? Or not take the chance at all, and find something better? Love doesn't pay the bills. And yes I know you and him probably aren't think about no marriage or anything like that but if thats the only way I can get you to see you can do better, then Hey I went for it.
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