Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32632
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My partner and I have been sexually active and I'm on birth control. However, as a back-up plan I generally like to use condoms. We've both been tested for STI's and everything (I just believe in never being too safe.)
The issue is, my partner says sex is "dull" with a condom on (we've tried numerous brands) and that he really prefers sex without a condom, because he can actually "feel everything".
This has made me insecure, and I guess I'm wondering if this is normal of him to feel that way. I've heard a lot of guys complain about condoms decreasing the pleasure of having sex - is there any truth to this?
I just feel inadequate and want to please him.
(link)
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It is not uncommon for a guy to dislike using condoms, However there really isn't much you can do about it. A condom is what prevents STD and unwanted pregnancy.
My partner has also complained about condoms in the past as well, What you could try is lubricant. Lubricant helps sex to be more pleasurable by adding extra comfort to sex, It helps the penis to insert the vagina comfortably.
You could try using Ultra thin condoms (Not sure if you've tried that brand) However, Like I always say...No Glove, No love. All it takes is one shot.
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ok im 14 and a guy, ive caught myself looking at guys and thinking about them but i know i like girls, i deny to myself that im bi because i dont think i am but im nott sure, so am i bi or how would i know (link)
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At 14, I would say you are curious about your sexuality. That doesn't mean you are bisexual, That doesn't make you gay..That simply makes you curious.
The only way to know is to try and date both guys and girls and explore your sexuality.
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17/f
I've been on the pill since I was 13, but 3-4 months ago I ran out of pills & I figured I'd just wait to pick them up because it wouldnt be that long before I had to go to the doctors for my annual check up.. so I've been off the pill for at least 2 months now... The last period I can recall started on May 19th. I had intercourse on the 22nd, (and was still on my period.) (My period ended around the 24-25th.) I also had intercourse on May 28th, June 1-3...
May 19th was the first day of my last period..I havent had one since...
I haven't noticed any symptoms of pregnancy...
I've been stressed lately, but I've been stressed before and its never affected my period before.
& I've had a cold for like 1-2 weeks now.
My annual doctor appointment is set for next wed. (July 14th).
Should I take a pregnancy test now? Or should I wait and talk to my doctor and get a pregnancy test done there? but I dont want to feel like an idiot & waste their time on a pregnancy test..
I dont think I'm pregnant..but I mean there is a chance since I didnt had a period in the month of June..
so what do i do? or think?
any advice is appreciated (: & if you need more information just let me know (link)
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Take a pregnancy test, You never stated if you used protection or not but if you don't want to get pregnant USE A CONDOM. You are only 17 years old, Too young for babies.
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Lately I have been confused. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I'm 23 and he's 25. My boyfriend sends me mixed messages. In the beginning of our relationship it was very rocky. He made a lot of excuses. He's in medical school and is very busy. He didn't invite me to many important events and he didn't attend things like my birthday. I thought seriously about breaking up with him when he told me that his father said I couldn't come over to his house for New Years. We talked it over and he said he cared about me. Now it's 1 year and a half. I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our future. He never likes to talk about it. He gets mad that I can't enjoy each day. I want to marry this man, but I'm not sure if he wants to marry me. I asked him if he saw a future for us, he said yes. He said we could possibly move in together after he graduates medical school. Recently, he's been telling me how much he really cares and loves me, how important I am in his life. My sister told me that he's probably trying to appease me. I am so confused. He always tells me that he doesn't want to make promises that he can't keep. I'm getting a message that he cares, but we have no future. I don't know, am I right? (link)
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We can't really tell you if you have a future with this guy...
Only you know if he is right for you or not, Bare in mind that people can say anything though. Long distant relationships are very hard they take commitment and time for them to work out. Medical school is stressful and takes up a handful of time, I'm not sure when your boyfriend graduates but I do know that medical school is a long time in college.
One thing that concerns me, The relationship was rocky in the beginning, He made excuses, Did invite you to any important events...This right here is a big one that tells me that it probably won't work out. Why? He never seemed committed into the relationship. From the sound of it, He could just be telling you things you want to hear, Maybe he is trying to appease you. Again, Only YOU know the real answer but remember that you are 23 years old, You need to start thinking about yourself and your future. Don't let a guy hold you back, If you think he is worth your time..Then go for it. However, A guy that ignores me from the beginning wouldn't find me sticking around long.
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i went to a restaurant n sat on d toilet seat .,, it was a bit wet so i really sccared will i get preganant? (link)
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No, Impossible.
You can only get pregnant if the sperm enters the vagina, That would mean you would have to come in contact sexually with someone.
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my girlfriend dumped me cause she found out i wear womens underwear, they were not even very girly , yes the were pink but she said real men dont wear them type of things and giggled and walked off, whta shud i do ? (link)
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Why do you wear woman's underwear?, Why not wear boxers?
I really don't know what else to tell you other than maybe buy some briefs that guys wear and stop wearing woman's underwear. Honestly, It is a bit weird...
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Ok imma young girl who is in love with an older guy and he says he loves me to what do I do? (link)
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You didn't label any details about age, However assuming you are under the age of 18 I say you need to move on and date someone who is your age. It is illegal to date someone much older than you and it is VERY wrong. If you two were to have a relationship he puts his reputation in jeopardy.
EDIT: Yes, If he is over 18 and he is caught with any sexual activity of a minor he could be charged with statutory rape, Aggravated assault of a minor, Corruption of a minor etc.
It's not a good idea, I would ignore him.
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I recently got out of a one year relationship. To put it short, I was cheated on. This was somebody I had confided in for a year, trusted without a doubt, and would never expect that behavior from him. He had never really lied when we were together. The core issue here, besides being cheated on (and getting over the fact that it's not my fault, he's just a jackass) - I'm having issues trusting ANYONE.
It's been two months now, and I've been talking to a new guy. I've discussed my past relationship with him and where I stand regarding insecurities. He respects this and says he'll be there by my side, and will wait as long as I'd like until I can actually commit to him. We both realize these things don't happen over night, so we're just friends for now. I really do like him and I want to be able to give him my 100% without him feeling gypped. He's a great a guy, he really is.
Now, my issue is.. how do I go about trusting him? I feel so guilty every time he says something nice and I have to remember someone told me those same things for a year and they were always a lie. Are there any ways for me to be able to open up more? (link)
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The question is, Are you ready to be in a relationship?
Cheating is one of the most disrespectful things a person can do in a relationship. The truth, 2 months ago was not that long ago and it will take longer than that too get over it.
A year is a long time to get to know someone, You were hurt and no it was not your fault. Trust is something that will come in time, It isn't going to happen overnight. I myself was in an abusive relationship for 5 years before I met my husband only with me, I didn't give myself 2 months before I started dating again. Did I trust him? No...In fact it took me a good 6 months before I did. If this guy is serious about you, He will work with you, He will be patient and will help you get over the past. Whether you want to except it, You are still holding onto to old feelings. You were hurt and it's completely normal to have trust issues after being cheated on. However, Little by little you got to be willing to take baby steps into trusting people again. I would stay friends for now, Get to know him a little better and when you feel like you can move on and trust again then that is when you know you can truly date again.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years and he is showing no signs of wanting to get married. I have 2 children from a previous marrage and he has never been married before. We are both 33 years old and we live in Nebraska where people don't generally wait much longer than 2 years. We have had our ups and downs but we do very well with the exception of me wanting to get married and him putting it off. How long should I wait? What do I do now while waiting? (link)
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Agreed with Snarky
Some men just don't want to be married, Some men think it's a hassle, Others don't see the point and some men just think it's easier dating so if anything happened they can leave freely.
This COULD be the case, The only real way to know how he feels is to talk to him, As he might not know where that topic stands because I'm assuming you two didn't discuss it. Every body is different, Every relationship is different. Some people rush into it and others prefer to wait a few years.
Talk to him, Communication is the key
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yes i have a very close friend of mine. but when ever i go over to her house her dad bullies me. first i thought it was just teasing, but it got worse. and i love my friend, but she does NOTHING to tell her dad to 'stop!'and it aggravates me. i think the dad is obsessed w/ me. and i dont do anything to him. last time i slept over which was like a couple days ago he grabbed my face, cursed at me, flipped me off, and teased me the WHOLE TIME! i felt soo unfortable. soooowhat should i do? thanx xoxxox (keep in mind this person only does it 2 me) (link)
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Tell an adult, This is WRONG
Your friend might not be saying anything because her father could be abusive towards her, It's just like the last person said below.
I would tell an adult that you trust, Your mother, Your father someone. Next time you go over bring a voice recorder and record it and bring it too the police. This guy needs to be arrested, He won't feel so bad when his buddy waits for him in a jail cell
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17/M (This is going to be ind of long so PLEASE bare with me. Thank you)
Well a few days ago i was hanging out with my (now ex?) girlfriend, well i go her house to pick her up and i go into her room and we talk for a little bit and i pick up these chopsticks in her room and they had a little sleeve thing they slip into so i took them out and i was playing with them and i was holing the sleeve in my other hand (up-side-down) and a half of a pill fell out if it. it was a half of a sleeping pill and i didn't really think much of it, but after she saw that i picked the little half of a pill up she started acting weird and she tried to take the sleeve away from me and that got me curious, so i started feeling down the bottom of the sleeve and there was another pill in there so i asked her what else was in there and she said "nothing why are you snooping around my stuff" so i told her "i wasn't snooping i was just playing with your chopsticks i didn't know there was something in the sleeve" but i just slipped the chopsticks back n the sleeve and handed them to her while questioning her asking what else was in there (I can deal with a lot of stuff in a relationship, but i can't stand a pill popper and she knowns that) so she takes them and puts them in her dresser and THEN tells me it was a roll (AKA; Drugs for those of you that don't know what a roll is)And then she went on to say "Oh i bought that like five months ago, i was thinking about trying it but i never did. so now i'm trying to sell it and no one wants to buy it" Well that pissed me off because i thought she was lying to me, but i was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt so i let it go. well after that we went over to my house and hung for a little bit and around 8:30 i dropped her off at her friend's house (lets call her Bethany, and my girlfriend/ex? Molly) Well they always get drunk together and i don't really care about that but i still don't like her going over to Bethany's because she is just a bad influence on Molly, so after i do that i go home and passout because i was up all night. So i wake up to some drunken texts from Molly and Bethany and then i check my facebook. Well bethany posted a new pic and it was of Bethany and Molly on some webcamming website and i read the convo on the side and it said (from some dude who they were camming with) and this is how it went from what i can see in he pick "Dude; Hi" "Them; Hey" "Dude; How old are you?" "Them; old enough" "Dude; nice" "Them; show me/" and it cuts off there because the picture didn't get all of the screen, but the next thing said "Them; thanksss" "Dude; Now you" "Them; omg" and then in the picture Molly is lifting her shirt up! Now this is on facebook so of course theres no nudity in the picture, but that doesn't mean there wasn't nudity at all right? So now i'm at a loss of what to do with this relationship, i mean i really love the girl and i know she loves me but theres just some things i can't look past anymore and it's hurting me to be with her and at the same time it's going to kill me if i leave, now after seeing that picture i set my relationship status as single and my status as "Done." hoping she would see it and know what i was talking about, but now it's been four or five days and i haven't talked to her and she hasn't tried talking to me.
But this is how i look at it, if i ask her about it and she says she didn't really lift her shirt up, i wouldn't know if she was telling the truth or not because of her not telling me about the pill so thats already killed the trust because she could have sold that pill in five minutes at her school or to her friends if she really wanted to get rid of it, and why would she be the one lifting her shirt in the picture and not her friend? This isn't like Molly at all, this reminds me more of Bethany and i don't like it.
So what do you say? Should i officially break up with her or should i try to work it out? This is a really hard one for me on my own.
But thank all you guys in advance (: (link)
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Your girlfriend sounds like a complete idiot, Harshly put but it's the truth. Is she lying? Sure as hell sounds like it.
To the point
If she had a roll of drugs in her dresser and states she bought them 5 months ago, Why does she still have them?
1. She stated she was "selling" her drugs - Bullshit lie, Hun that was her backup that wasn't the truth
2. She is on webcam, Did she appear to be naked? Obviously you know the truth to this one or you wouldn't have to ask right?..
If she is acting suspicious and sketchy...There is probably a damn good reason for it.
I have no choice but to ask, WHY ARE YOU WITH HER? You sound like a sweet guy, You honestly don't think you can do better?...I bet you can, I bet you can do A LOT better.
Without trust in a relationship, There is no relationship at all. If she can't tell you the truth, She doesn't deserve you. You've picked up on all the clues already and it sounds like you know exactly what she is pulling, You want our opinion well here is mine..DUMP HER. Don't feed into her bullshit and once you do keep it that way. Nobody needs to waste valuable time with someone who is immature and stupid and your time is valuable.
It is not easy for anyone to have to dump someone but sometimes in order to get what you want out of life you we all got to do shit we don't want to do. It's been almost a week and she hasn't tried talking to you...This should tell you that she doesn't care much about the relationship.
Here are my guesses, I bet you I am right..
1. She is cheating
2. She is a liar
3. She doesn't respect you...
You need to move on, Forget about working it out if she can't respect you enough to keep her body off camera and put in the effort to try to stay away from alcohol and drugs...Look hun, She just simply isn't worth it. Find someone who is right for you, Who will respect you and love you. Someone who actually wants to spend their time with you.
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i m male/22 i don't musterbate ,but have sexual urge ,will i have sexual problem in future,i mean am i be good or bad at sex? (link)
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Masturbation is completely normal and healthy.
It is not gross, It is not wrong and it is nothing you should feel guilty about doing. Masturbating or not masturbating does not effect your desire to having sex in the future. It's normal and nothing to be ashamed of at all.
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I'm a 14 year old female and my boyfriend and i have been going out for 3 weeks. We were making out and he started taking off my shirt and bra i didn't mind that much so i let him continue and we made out for like 2-3 minutes with my clothes off. I feel like I'm a slut for going that far. He says I'm not but I know he would say that because he wants it to happen again. Am i a slut? (link)
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No you are not a slut, He is your boyfriend
However at 3 weeks, I would slow things down a little bit there is no rush
Also, If you DO end up having sex be smart and use a condom.
EDIT: I never said that condoms will prevent pregnancy, I never said condoms work, I said be smart and use a condom. Condoms INCREASE the chances of preventing unwanted pregnany. I never said they completely PREVENT it. ;)
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Me and this girl started talking and really like eachother. The thing is, shes my aunts sister's husbands daughter ( aunts sister's step daughter ..he didnt have her with my aunts sister ). My aunt is together with my uncle (my uncle is the actual blood relation to me not my aunt). So there is like family realtions but not like blood relations. My question, if you understand any of this at all is...are we too close or too related to be bf/gf or to close for anyone like my aunt or uncle or her family to think its weird, if they think its weird are they right? Thanks =]
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No different from step sister, Step brother only in this case it's a step cousin...
Sometimes family doesn't have to be blood related, You are technically related as you are step COUSINS.
No, It's not appropriate and you can bet that they would think it's weird I certainly would have an issue if it were my kid.
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I have raised my sister since she was 14 and now she is 19 and pregnant.. father is in jail. she has spent $25,000 and is broke. our parents died and i am her only family. she has a tramic brain injury, which basically means she shouldnt drink or do drugs, but she does. Her judgement is bad. She wont listen to me. she does not have a job and she dropped out of high school. She hangs out with random guys from online. (she once had a run in with a pimp) I dont want to kick her out, but i dont want to support her forever. But most of all i dont want her to think i approve and i dont want to help her kill her self. what should i do? I love her, but i am tired of this.
i work in law enforcement. im trying to have a family of my own.
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Sit down and talk to her, Lay down some ground rules. Assuming you are the adult in this situation and the one who holds the responsibility in the house hold now would be a good time to let her know that she has a kid on the way. (mentally, Not physically) Remind her, She needs to start taking on responsibility as she is 19 years old and needs to start making her own decisions.
You are going to have to seriously sit her down, Explain to her that the road she is going down she isn't looking at jail time but she has a good chance of ending up dead if she doesn't start using her head. She is 19 years old, She has a kid on the way and the big one despite all the shit she put herself though and is doing...She STILL has a chance to fix it. I would recommend that she start seeing a psychiatrist and if she doesn't want to go then this is were you say "You need to go, You need to do this for you and your baby and if you don't want to help yourself then I am going to have no choice but to kick you out" It's brutal, It's to the point but if this is what you need to do, Then this is what you need to do to get her to go. If she does drugs and drink the first place I would be sending her is too rehab, This is a good place for people who drink and do drugs and there she has a chance to sober up. I'm not sure what computer she is using but if you HAVE too put password protection on it for set up the parental control and put a timer on the computer to how long she is allowed to use it. It's childish and you have to go that far but if that is what will help her learn then do it. She sounds like she has a lot of hard feelings bottled in, I would also recommend a therapist.
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I like how honest you were about the previous answer.
Could you tell me why you think using a pacifier is childish and should not be tolerated at my age?
I'm only curious, and i'm not trying to be a smart-ass.
Thanks
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Hello,
I wasn't trying to be rude by that answer as well I was just being upfront, Just letting you know.
Most people would not expect to see a 15 year old with a pacifier in their mouth. Sure, We all have our weird habits but this one is a hell of habit to have.
I think a pacifier for a 15 year old is rather inappropriate, Some people say it's weird and cute but it sort of gives off that you are still holding onto your old baby habits, Or maybe that you haven't fully grown up yet. Not to be burst your bubble but it's stupid and unnecessary. You would think at the age of 15, We would be more focused on other things more for our age then suckling on a pacifier that belongs to a toddler.
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I'm a 15 year old guy and, as I write this question, I have a pacifier in my mouth.
I was wondering, what do you think of a teenager secretly sucking on a pacifier?
Do you think I am normal? What should I do?
Thanks (link)
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You are 15 years old, You are too old to be sucking a pacifier
Most people grow out of that before the age of 5..
My viewpoint, It is immature and childish
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Although I'll get rude answers from this, I'm extremely worried and concerned to the point where my stress has gotten me sick and maybe delayed my period. So, as I said, I was naked while he wore boxers and basketball shorts. I am on birth control and have been for 2 months, I'm only the last week in my packet and I'm going to be taking a white, sugar pill, my third one actually. I've been having cramping but no blood flow, I took my pills on the night of the incidents (it's only happened twice.) What has gotten me so upset is thinking that it could of gotten through, although HE DID NOT EJACULATE. I should be getting my period any day but all I've gotten is a lot of white fluids. (link)
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No you are not pregnant
Stress causes period delay and so doesn't some birth control
It's almost impossible to become pregnant while having clothing on. You are being paranoid
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Hi i am 13 nd im a gurl um i want 2 noe wat iz mini-sex bcuz i think i hav done it wit my last boyfriend i dnt noe wat itz rly p.s. srry 4 da grammar i am on da interent on ma fone (link)
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There is no such thing as "mini sex" It's either you've had sex or you didn't.
Also at 13, You are too young to be having sex
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i'm 16/f.
i've been with my current boyfriend for 7 months, and sometimes, i feel that he's too controlling. extremly controlling. and sometimes it get's out of hand. i've never really had a boyfriend, so i don't know if ALL relationships are like this, or if my boyfriend is just a jerk.he alllways ask what i'm doing. which, isnt bad, i can understand that, but he makes me tell him EVERYTHING i'm doing, and everywhere i go. he's constantly keeping tabs on me, and has even had some friends of his watch me at school to make sure i'm not flirting or talking to other guys. if i don't tell him when i leave the house to go somewhere, he gets mad, and starts a fight. if i don't tell him i'm leaving somewhere to go somewhere else, he gets mad, and if i don't tell him i'm home, he will. i can understand him wanting to know what i'm doing, so i'm safe, but i really do feel like it get's out of hand.i'm not allowed to talk to ANY guy. if i do, i have to tell him everything that was said between us. i have to tell him when and if a guy text me, and he starts asking a ton of questions when one does. i'm not allowed to text back, and if i do, it can only be about school, and i cant delete the text. i'm not even allowed to be around a guy, if one's around me, i have to move.he's always telling me what i can and cannot wear. i'm not allowed to wear shorts, or vnecks. if i ever do wear a vneck, or shorts, i have to be around him. it'll be 100 degrees out, and i can't wear shorts, he makes me wear jeans. i have to send him pictures of what i'm wearing, and if i wear something he doesnt like, he gets mad.he wont let me hang out with friends. i havent ever since we started dating, and i'm loosing touch with them. i don't really ever talk to anybody, and if i do, even if it's a girl, he ask what we talk about. if i text anybody else but him, he gets reeaallly mad.he's always talking bad about my friends, saying i shouldnt hang out with him, because their whores. i think that he get's jealous that i want something to do with somebody else besides him. he always talks about how their whores, but he's honestly done tons of worse things than them, their not even sexually active, or anything. so i really dont think he has any room to talk. if i EVER want to go out and do ANYTHING, he tells me no, and threatens to leave me if i go.if he ever gets mad at me, he calls be HORRIBLE names. and sometimes he does stuff that he knows i can get hurt by, like if we're in the car he'll slam on his brakes while i'm trying to get my seatbealt on. he tells me to look at him, and if i dont, he'll grab my face and make me. he even gets controlling about little things, he get's mad if he's not my background picture. things like that. he loves me, i can tell he really does, and he can be the biggest sweetheart sometimes, but i don't know if i'll be able to take any of this much longer. i can sometimes understand why he's like this, he's had his past 3 girlfriends cheat on him.i can go into alot more stuff, but i don't want to make this question too long. soo, are ALL relatoonships like this, or is this really unhealthy? maybe relationships just arent for me? (link)
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This is extremely unhealthy, It could be classified as abuse as well.
My advice, LEAVE HIM
Don't ever stick around for a guy that controls your life, The way you dress, demands to know where you are. You are your own person you are entitled to your privacy. Your boyfriend is controlling your every move and he has buddies on the side to watch you when he can't. THAT IS WRONG, A relationship should not be like that at all.
Lets nail this down a bit shall we?
1. Your boyfriend does NOT respect you
2. Your boyfriend does NOT trust you
You need a man who is going to treat you well, Does not control your every move, Someone who trust you and lets you wear whatever you want. You are NOT his puppet and he does NOT control you, Nor own you. You need to dump him, Cut contact and keep it that way. You deserve better, Don't ever let a guy treat you this way. Also, The whole "sorry" story don't let him get too you, Once you put your foot down he is going to be defensive and try to put on an act about how sorry he is and how much he loves you this is what they all do. You need to move on, This isn't about relationships not being for you. This is about you finding the RIGHT one for YOU.
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