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boyfriend too controlling?
i'm 16/f.
i've been with my current boyfriend for 7 months, and sometimes, i feel that he's too controlling. extremly controlling. and sometimes it get's out of hand. i've never really had a boyfriend, so i don't know if ALL relationships are like this, or if my boyfriend is just a jerk.he alllways ask what i'm doing. which, isnt bad, i can understand that, but he makes me tell him EVERYTHING i'm doing, and everywhere i go. he's constantly keeping tabs on me, and has even had some friends of his watch me at school to make sure i'm not flirting or talking to other guys. if i don't tell him when i leave the house to go somewhere, he gets mad, and starts a fight. if i don't tell him i'm leaving somewhere to go somewhere else, he gets mad, and if i don't tell him i'm home, he will. i can understand him wanting to know what i'm doing, so i'm safe, but i really do feel like it get's out of hand.i'm not allowed to talk to ANY guy. if i do, i have to tell him everything that was said between us. i have to tell him when and if a guy text me, and he starts asking a ton of questions when one does. i'm not allowed to text back, and if i do, it can only be about school, and i cant delete the text. i'm not even allowed to be around a guy, if one's around me, i have to move.he's always telling me what i can and cannot wear. i'm not allowed to wear shorts, or vnecks. if i ever do wear a vneck, or shorts, i have to be around him. it'll be 100 degrees out, and i can't wear shorts, he makes me wear jeans. i have to send him pictures of what i'm wearing, and if i wear something he doesnt like, he gets mad.he wont let me hang out with friends. i havent ever since we started dating, and i'm loosing touch with them. i don't really ever talk to anybody, and if i do, even if it's a girl, he ask what we talk about. if i text anybody else but him, he gets reeaallly mad.he's always talking bad about my friends, saying i shouldnt hang out with him, because their whores. i think that he get's jealous that i want something to do with somebody else besides him. he always talks about how their whores, but he's honestly done tons of worse things than them, their not even sexually active, or anything. so i really dont think he has any room to talk. if i EVER want to go out and do ANYTHING, he tells me no, and threatens to leave me if i go.if he ever gets mad at me, he calls be HORRIBLE names. and sometimes he does stuff that he knows i can get hurt by, like if we're in the car he'll slam on his brakes while i'm trying to get my seatbealt on. he tells me to look at him, and if i dont, he'll grab my face and make me. he even gets controlling about little things, he get's mad if he's not my background picture. things like that. he loves me, i can tell he really does, and he can be the biggest sweetheart sometimes, but i don't know if i'll be able to take any of this much longer. i can sometimes understand why he's like this, he's had his past 3 girlfriends cheat on him.i can go into alot more stuff, but i don't want to make this question too long. soo, are ALL relatoonships like this, or is this really unhealthy? maybe relationships just arent for me?
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All relationships are not like what you described.
Not healthy ones.
There's something wrong with this guy. He's abusive, paranoid, and controlling. Healthy relationships are not like that. There is trust and freedom in healthy relationships.
When you are with someone, they should not take you away from your friends and family, or dictate what you can and can't do.
This guy is dangerous. You need to get as far away from him as you can. Everything you're describing matches the warning signs of an abusive relationship. If you'd like to read a full list of 23 warning signs of abusive relationships, you can go to this link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
it includes a phone number you can call if you need any help.
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Sweet heart I'm sorry.
I've just been through exactly the same as what your going through. Unfortantly, when boys want to control you. They will miniplate you. One major thing I noticed is my ex would be extremely happy and give me lots of compliments like "your so sexy" etc. Making me feel so good about myself and making me feel like his lovely and then he would control me. So that I kept thinking he was lovely.
All of my friends and family saw what he was doing to me but I couldn't. But I finally realised when he decided to shout at me for talking to my sister.
Honestly darling, you 16. And your FAR too young for this shit. I promise you. For me and for every other women in this world. End it with this boy.
After all, no boy is worth your tear and the one is won't make you cry!!
Relationships are for everyone. Your sixteen years old not sixty, you've got the whole of your life to live. Just go out there and have fun.
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get away. he needs to deal with his trust issues. if he cant trust you then you need to tell him to grow up.
why are you letting him dress you? stand up for your self before it is too late and your living with him and you cant talk to anyone even your parents.
there are no excuses for his actions. NONE. cheating or no cheating. do not let him touch you like that either. these are very serious signs that he will become violent.
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You need to end this.
He is over the top controlling, and abusive.
Granted, he might have had a bad history with relationships, however, this is too much.
You seem like you know how to be in a relationship though, just this guy is not right. In fact, with that behaviour, he's not right for anyone at all.
Move on, and you'll meet a nicer guy soon, I promise!
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Break up with him. Please. Tonight even?
You are cut out for relationships. Actually, you'll probably be great at them: You are smart, loyal and know what you want. It's your boyfriend who is not equipped to be in a relationship with anyone. Hell, I wouldn't let this guy have a gerbil much less a girlfriend.
He is verbally abusive, controlling and manipulative.
There is no excuse, there is no reason. He is completely and utterly in the wrong.
All relationships are not like this. Only the abusive ones.
End it. End it soon.
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This is extremely unhealthy, It could be classified as abuse as well.
My advice, LEAVE HIM
Don't ever stick around for a guy that controls your life, The way you dress, demands to know where you are. You are your own person you are entitled to your privacy. Your boyfriend is controlling your every move and he has buddies on the side to watch you when he can't. THAT IS WRONG, A relationship should not be like that at all.
Lets nail this down a bit shall we?
1. Your boyfriend does NOT respect you
2. Your boyfriend does NOT trust you
You need a man who is going to treat you well, Does not control your every move, Someone who trust you and lets you wear whatever you want. You are NOT his puppet and he does NOT control you, Nor own you. You need to dump him, Cut contact and keep it that way. You deserve better, Don't ever let a guy treat you this way. Also, The whole "sorry" story don't let him get too you, Once you put your foot down he is going to be defensive and try to put on an act about how sorry he is and how much he loves you this is what they all do. You need to move on, This isn't about relationships not being for you. This is about you finding the RIGHT one for YOU.
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No, all relationships are not like that- he is extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. If he's like this after only 7 months, it's only gonna get worse.
You're 16, you should be able to wear what you want, talk to whoever you want, and have fun. A normal guy would let you do that.
Unfortunately, I can tell you from experience that guys like that do not change. You really need to get away from him before it becomes any worse.
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