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Moving on while attempting to get over insecurities.
I recently got out of a one year relationship. To put it short, I was cheated on. This was somebody I had confided in for a year, trusted without a doubt, and would never expect that behavior from him. He had never really lied when we were together. The core issue here, besides being cheated on (and getting over the fact that it's not my fault, he's just a jackass) - I'm having issues trusting ANYONE.
It's been two months now, and I've been talking to a new guy. I've discussed my past relationship with him and where I stand regarding insecurities. He respects this and says he'll be there by my side, and will wait as long as I'd like until I can actually commit to him. We both realize these things don't happen over night, so we're just friends for now. I really do like him and I want to be able to give him my 100% without him feeling gypped. He's a great a guy, he really is.
Now, my issue is.. how do I go about trusting him? I feel so guilty every time he says something nice and I have to remember someone told me those same things for a year and they were always a lie. Are there any ways for me to be able to open up more?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The question is, Are you ready to be in a relationship?
Cheating is one of the most disrespectful things a person can do in a relationship. The truth, 2 months ago was not that long ago and it will take longer than that too get over it.
A year is a long time to get to know someone, You were hurt and no it was not your fault. Trust is something that will come in time, It isn't going to happen overnight. I myself was in an abusive relationship for 5 years before I met my husband only with me, I didn't give myself 2 months before I started dating again. Did I trust him? No...In fact it took me a good 6 months before I did. If this guy is serious about you, He will work with you, He will be patient and will help you get over the past. Whether you want to except it, You are still holding onto to old feelings. You were hurt and it's completely normal to have trust issues after being cheated on. However, Little by little you got to be willing to take baby steps into trusting people again. I would stay friends for now, Get to know him a little better and when you feel like you can move on and trust again then that is when you know you can truly date again.
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