I am too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I'll give it to you straight. If you want sugarcoating go to the candy store, you won't find it here. Sometimes a little good old fashioned honesty is just what the doctor ordered!
Gender: Female Location: PA Member Since: August 19, 2012 Answers: 317 Last Update: June 14, 2018 Visitors: 18525
Main Categories: Love Life Abusive Relationships Home Decorating View All
|
| |
will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up (link)
|
Since I don't know you and exactly what it is you have to lose I can only guess it must be something really great if it is worth dying for! Suicide is usually a far more complicated matter than just losing some material possessions or even your freedom. I am guessing you are suffering from depression and are possibly under the influence of anti-depressants or some other medication that has your mind pretty messed up right now. Most people who are thinking clearly will not choose suicide as an option. Did you ever stop to think if you could be strong enough to get through this, what a powerful message you could deliver to other young people or people in your situation with a physical disability? As I said I don't know your situation but most people with a disability such as yours qualify for some type of SSI or SSD income so why couldn't you just put your things in storage and get a new place to live when you get out? I don't mean to minimize this but honest to God from where I sit this is not a life or death situation!I know they have to accommodate your disability in jail so I really don't think it would be any worse for you than the other inmates. Perhaps fear of the unknown has caused you to blow this all out of proportion!I have a very dear friend with a son who is quadriplegic. Every time I call and ask him how he doing he always says "I'm wonderful today, how are you?" It is always a humbling experience for me especially if I am griping and complaining about my own aches and pains. Honestly, you are wallowing in self pity right now! Whether you know it or not there are people out there with far worse situations then yours! I don't usually bring religious issues to my column but since you opened that door by telling me you believe in God then why don't you turn to Him for strength and comfort? If you want an example of suicide from the Bible think of Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus. All he had to do was ask forgiveness and Jesus would have forgiven him but in his shame he choose suicide and condemned his soul to Hell. I also don't usually mention anything personal in my column but again I am going to make an exception for you. My 22 year old son is in prison right now (because of drugs) and he has served jail time as well. No, it isn't a nice place to be but I don't think it quite the horror story you are imagining it to be either. There are other people just like you in there who have made mistakes.If you have family and people who love you this would be a VERY selfish thing to do! Loved ones always blame themselves in a situation like this(especially parents)and you would be condemning THEM to hell on earth for the rest of their days! I am not trained in suicide prevention so I can only hope something I have said here will cause you to stop and reconsider. Go to the ER, check yourself into the hospital and talk about these issues with a trained Psychologist. You can also call the suicide prevention hotline listed in your local phone book. I really do see how this could look like the end of the world to you but that is because you are in the middle of it. If you could just find the clarity to step back and see it for what it is, a temporary situation, then maybe you could make a different decision.Jail is temporary,death is permanent. And what if you are wrong? What if you deliberately take your own life and God DOESN'T forgive you because you didn't trust Him enough to get you through this? God doesn't have to accommodate YOUR terms!Do you have a pastor or priest who would discuss this with you? Sometimes this type of situation is a good learning experience. It gives you some time to reflect on how you have been living your life and what changes you need to make in order not to keep repeating the same mistakes. Just remember "THIS TOO SHALL PASS"!
|
My father took everything of value and left us.
My mother is mentally ill and now has no insurance(so she's off her pills).
My sister is a major suck up to our mother(Favorite child).
Were stuck in an Extended Stay hotel and,its sucking up all the income we have.We have tried all "free" places for medicine and help.But our income is too high,but its not enough for us to live on.
I barely make $150 a week from my job and, its considered part time.I'm at my job all day from 10AM to 4PM and,they don't consider it full time.So because of the time and all the work,I can't get a 2nd job.We have no car,so we take the public city bus everywhere(which is $1.50 there and back per person).
My problem is my mother.She's always been an mental abuser and only to me.She says that "I'll never be anything","I'll never go to college,and even if I did I'd fail it","Ill never be anything in life,or have a husband let alone a boyfriend"... That was just this week.
She said that to me because I told her to "hold on one moment" while I was filling up water bottles,and she wanted me to look for a phone number for her.It only took 2 minutes and I couldn't look away or I'd have water on the floor.
My sister is a major suck up to our mother.She sides with her even when moms wrong.She won't stick up for anyone and can't even keep a job that long.she keeps calling out at work and lying to them about why.I tell her to quit it and I get screamed at by mom (mom encourages her to call out).
Right now I got no friends,because I don't have time.I got no other family to go to,and right now mother plans on leaving with my sister.They plan to go to grandma's and I can't come.she made that clear.Were all old enough to be on our own,but we weren't ever encouraged or pushed to go on our own.Our mother was one of those ones that did everything for you,even when you didn't want her to (tried getting her to stop,but that only made her mad and she'd guilt me into letting her).
So where do I go?Do I leave my job and beg my deadbeat dad to go,live with him in another state?
Or do I take my chances on the street?If I do that I lose everything I own. (link)
|
This isn't going to be easy but it is time to spread your wings and fly!As long as your mom is not under treatment for her mental illness it is a very toxic relationship and you are FAR better off to be on your own. I would like to commend you for holding down a job and dealing with all of this at the same time. You are a very strong young woman! I would say that you have the strength of character to do just about anything you put your mind to. You know in your heart those things your mother says are not true, she is sick and she is lashing out, which is why you need to be out of the picture. I don't know what state you live in so it is very difficult to give you specific advice about where to turn for help. One suggestion might be to try to get in to college and live on campus. Yes, you would have to take out student loans but it would be worth it in the long run.I know you are upset with your dad right now but maybe it is time to step back and look at the big picture. If your mom is mentally ill and verbally abusive perhaps he was going through more than you realize. At any rate perhaps he would be willing to help you if you choose to go back to school. Maybe moving to a new state and starting college there would give you a whole new perspective on life because you seriously need to distance yourself from your mom and your sister! Otherwise you could find out if you qualify for public housing but this is based on income. There are also boarding houses and rooming houses for people who are alone and on limited income. You could check the local paper to see if anyone is advertising for a room mate but that can be risky. If you go that route make sure you do a lot of background checking first. You could ask some local churches or agencies that help the needy if they have any suggestions.Once you are out on your own you will have some extra time so perhaps you could find a another part time job or do some volunteer work(just to meet some new people). You need to make some friends and get out and have some fun. Change is scary and sometimes fear of the unknown makes us stay where we are until we are forced to make a move. Then we often wonder, "Wow, why didn't I do this sooner!" I think that will be the case with you. Good luck!
|
You answered my question about making a job change recently. After initially accepting the offer, I recanted and turned it down. Later that day the HR Manager left me a voicemail stating management really liked me and wanted to sweeten the offer. I called this morning. Instead of making an offer, she asked me what it would take to get me to come. I gave her a number that was 6% more than what Iwas offered, but still well within the stated salary range. She later sent an email saying she gave the proposal to management and that they were going to pursue other candidates. They didn't even make a counter offer, and said they really didn't think I wanted the job. I thought it was bizarre. (link)
|
Well, it's a little after the fact now but I would have told the HR manager, since she contacted YOU, that the ball was in their court and THEY need to put an offer on the table. It seems very strange that they told you they were willing to sweeten the pot and then ask YOU to make the offer. I imagine when you turned them down initially they would have gotten the idea you didn't want the job and yet they appeared willing to negotiate. Yes, it does seem a bit bizarre!Hopefully you really didn't want the job because I don't see any way to backtrack in this situation! I wish you best of luck with all your future endeavors!
|
I'm quite embarrassed to say that I am a 33 year old female virgin and have never masturbated. I don't think there is something wrong with me, it's just an opportunity to have sex never happened. But now I am constantly thinking of sex, getting sexual urges sometimes for days on end etc. I am even thinking of getting a vibrator just to please the urges. I am quite scared to do it, since it will be my first experience but I am also quite excited at what I might feel. Is there something wrong with me or my sexual urges? Will it calm the urges a bit if I masturbate? I am quite shy about this subject as sex and masturbate is not a common subject in my family / friends circle. I am quite a sorry Suzi / sad case and feel like I am doing something so out of character by ordering a vibrator. Any advice? Should I masturbate? (link)
|
Well any of those things will certainly do the trick but if you don't mind my asking why are you not considering the possibility of a relationship? You say you have never had the opportunity to have sex but you don't say why. Are you putting yourself in situations where you could meet people? Vibrators are nice but they are no match for the real thing!If you are just not interested in a relationship that is perfectly fine but it just seemed a bit curious the way you put, it like maybe you don't leave your home or something! I am just getting a feeling there is some much better advice I could give you if I knew the whole story! Best wishes!
|
My dad died when I was 12 and awhile back I wrote on here about how my cousins husband told me I could call him dad and now my cousin and him are seperated I feel bad for my cousin I really do I don't want to sound selfish but I miss thos father daughter talks we use to have and I don't 'rwant to talk to my cousin about how I feel because I know sh e is hurting right now before he left he said just because they are together anymore dosnt mean I am not his daughter anymore but how is that possible when I can't talk to him or see him anymore. What should I do? He left when I wasn't there. I didn't even get to say goodbye. (link)
|
Well hello again Hon, I advised you the first time you posted! I am sorry to hear that your cousin and her husband have separated.I know you have a lot of strong feelings for this man and it must be very hard for you to accept that he is gone. I do have to tell you though that I really don't think it is a very good idea to try to continue this relationship now that your cousin is out of the picture.Feelings can run very strong in situations like this where you are both lonely and hurting, in need of comfort from one another and there is just too much potential for those feelings to become more than father/daughter feelings. I am not saying this man would do anything wrong or that you would, but why put yourselves in that situation. I lost my father at a young age as well but you really can not replace him no matter how hard you try. I am guessing that you may have a little "crush" on your cousins husband. I think you like the male attention because you miss your dad but I also think he makes you feel special in the way all girls do when they like a boy for the first time. It is normal to have these feelings but perhaps he realizes your feelings are a little too intense and maybe that is why he hasn't contacted you or didn't stop to say goodbye. I think the best thing you can do right now is get closer to your mom. I'll bet she misses your dad a lot too and the two of you can help each other. Someday when mom has had enough time to grieve maybe she will meet someone and you will have a new step-father to help get you through those father/daughter times!Whatever life has in store for you I am sure you will be just fine! Best of luck to you!
|
21/f, 27/m
This is slightly long, brace yourself.
I have been dating this guy for three months now. I hated the fact that I didn't know what to say when my friends asked me if we were together. I knew we were to talk about it at some point so I decided to bring up whether or not we were exclusive. We had this talk before but we didn't conclude to anything.
I've noticed that we used to go out and stuff together and now for some reason we end up in the bedroom. I realized that he stopped saying that he liked me and he wasn't as affectionate as he was before. He started talking to me more but I wasn't sure what to read into it.
This time I asked whether or not if he wanted to be exclusive with me. And he asked the question right back. I told him I knew what I wanted and I wanted that I wanted to know what we were. He asked what made me ask him his question, I responded that it was in the back of my mind for awhile. He said if I wanted to be exclusive, then he's on board. Which was contradicting because he then told me that I was not in the right state to be in a relationship with him right now. I got a little frustrated and asked him if he was talking about himself because he can't tell me what state I'm in. He said he may be projecting his feelings but he doesn't think that there's anything restraining himself from being in a relationship. I told him that I think he needs to figure out what he wanted because I was with someone for who didn't know what he wanted and it turns out that he was an imbecile and I wasn't going to wait another two years for him to figure out what he wanted. He then told me he didn't think that we should be in a full-blown relationship right now.
I told him that I wasn't trying to force a relationship and that I just wanted to know whether or not if I was wasting my time. He asked me, "what do you consider wasting your time?" ... I didn't know how to answer that. I thought it was obvious especially with what we were talking about.
Eventually, he got mad because he said that I was expecting him to know what I was thinking and told me to grow up and to talk to him when I was willing to communicate. I got angry and I felt done with that conversation because he said that. I wanted to know what we were and to clarify things and in the end I felt insulted so I told him, "bye". He then sent me a long message saying that he was trying to communicate with me and he doesn't know what I want and that I was being complicated.
I told him that I wasn't being a child and I wasn't being complicated. I was trying to be as straight forward as I can and for some reason I end up being questioned back. I told him,
"I asked you if you wanted to be exclusive with me. You asked me the question right back. Then you say that I'm not in the right state to be in a relationship with you. Then you change the subject just because I didn't get to answer your previous messages. I asked if I was wasting my time with you, you then asked me to tell you my definition of "wasting time" means. It'd be easier if I could get an answer on something. We're going in circles. I've served myself on a silver platter but it seems like you refuse to see what's in front of you. That's why it doesn't seem like you know what you want. I'm not forcing anything. I wanted to know what we were and if I was wasting my time."
He responded, "I hope I've made it clear that I don't believe it's a good idea for us at the moment. We're not in a relationship. I consider this more of a fling right now. I've enjoyed your company. You're planning on moving away soon (I'm moving only a few minutes away). Is it a waste of time? I like you. I don't feel the same kind of connection with you that I did with my previous girlfriends. Again, is it a waste of time?"
I said, "I'm starting to think it is now. I want a relationship later but you see me as a fling and the fact that you don't seem to have a connection with me either, doesn't sound too good."
He responded, "it isn't the same kind. I didn't say it was bad. I want a relationship, too, when the circumstances and chemistry are right for it. I don't think they are for us right now, and it seems that you'll be moving away soon, so it's hard to bet on the circumstances being right in the future. all that said, I'm happy with what we have now. I appreciate you and don't consider you a waste of my time."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I told him. He just responded with "okay." He messaged me later on at night asking if I was okay. I decided not to answer because I felt like he should be well aware that I was not doing well.
I'm honestly a little bit disappointed and upset. There were so many questions I have. I find it silghtly fishy as if there's something else there but I'm not sure.
My questions:
1) What do you think I should do at this point? Wait it out? Or drop him?
2) What does he mean by "connection with me is not like his previous girlfriends"? Is he indirectly telling me that I'm not girlfriend material?
3) I would like it very much if he was straight forward with me, if there's any hidden messages or interpretations you may think of, please let me know.
Thank you. (link)
|
As for question #1 :Please tell me you are kidding!
Question #2 Hell no, he isn't telling you INDIRECTLY! For the love of God girl he WAS straight forward with you! Does he need to hit you in the face with a skillet? Question #3 :Hell no, there is no HIDDEN messages. He gave you the message loud and clear, you just don't seem to be able to comprehend it for some reason! Pick up your self esteem and go,far,far away! Please understand I don't mean to appear rude to you, but honey you are just not getting it! You honestly risk embarrassing yourself in this situation!Don't you think you deserve a guy who has some respect for you? Please consider seeing a counselor, I believe you have some serious self esteem issues and you will continue to end up with guys like this if you don't address them now. You seem like a very nice person and it is shame for you to get walked on like this. I know you would see things in a totally different light if you felt better about yourself. Best of luck to you!
|
My sister and her boyfriend lost their 3th apartment b/c of poor money management skills. She has the money to pay the bills but doesn't. She and her boyfriend are big spenders. She likes to buy random things while he uses her money for video games and huge flat screen TVs. My sister works full time while her boyfriend is a stay at home dad. My sister has two kids. One from a previous relationship and the youngest one is his.
Her boyfriend's family took them in at first but they got kicked out. From his dad's house and from his older sister's house. My sister said it's b/c they were charging her rent and for babysitting and constantly yelling at her boyfriend to get a job. She said he can't get a job b/c his driver license is suspended and no one can watch the kids.
One day, I went to a dentist and came back home with my mom, suddenly they are at our house with their stuff. She said they are going to stay with us for free for a few months to save money and find their own place.
Since they have moved in without notice, I notice a few things:
The boyfriend doesn't watch the kids, although she claims he does. They make my older niece, 8, take care of her sister, 2. When the 2 year old cries they ignore it. If she doesn't stop they make the 8 year old hold her. The 8 yr. old admits to me that she dislikes her sister and wants to get away from her.
After my sister goes to work, he keeps finding excuse to leave the house to go somewhere in her car, she leaves him her car and carpools to work with my mom, and don't come back for hours. We live a few blocks from a police station and he's driving without a license. He's going to get arrested again. I have been babysitting the kids since they got there. When he comes back he plays video games all day. He doesn't even stop to feed the kids lunch or dinner. I make it for them.
We have a hallway bathroom but he uses the one in my bedroom. It's making my mom feel uncomfortable. He's walking in and out of my bedroom without asking or like it even matters. She watches the news a lot and is paranoid that he's going to hurt me or worse. She wants me to lock my door at all the times now.
I am starting college part time next month and going to work full time. I'm worried about what's going to happen to the kids when I'm not there. Like who is going to feed them and watch them? I told my sister about her boyfriend being irresponsible and my concern over the kids but she always makes excuse for him and brushes it off. I know it's their business and I don't want to get involve. I'm only worried about the kids. (link)
|
Unfortunately your mom allowed this situation to happen and she is going to have to be the one to stop it!She needs to give them a deadline to move out and stick to it. Whether they are still with you or on their own, child protective services needs to get involved. It doesn't sound like the children are being cared for properly. An 8 year old is FAR too young to care for a 2 year old! I know your mom is trying to help but what she is doing is enabling them to continue their immature and irresponsible lifestyle. They need a dose of reality and they need it now! As far as the boyfriend walking into your bedroom tell him it is off limits as of right NOW! Tell him he is NOT welcome to use your bathroom and it is very inappropriate to walk into your bedroom. You MUST get your mom to back you up on this! She must tell him if he does it again he will be asked to leave her home immediately and the police will escort him out if necessary!It sounds like there is a certain element of fear where this guy is concerned (perhaps coming from all the females in your house.) I don't like the sounds of what you are describing. Your mom really needs to take action to remove this guy immediately. A judge will grant a restraining order if necessary.Your mother has to let him know she means business!She should tell your sister she and the children can stay a little longer if need be but the boyfriend will have to live elsewhere in the meantime. If your sister gets mad so be it. The children are the important ones in this scenario. Whatever you do don't try to confront him alone or without the support of your mother. If he gets physically or mentally abusive to anyone in the household do not hesitate to call the police. You really need to impress upon mom that she HAS to get him out of the house! Good luck!
|
* This isn't my first time asking about the same exact relationship* but here it goes:
I'm female, 30. I have been dating a guy (31) for a month now, we've hung out four consecutive weeks. I've spent the night last week, and again this weekend...we get along very well and enjoy each other's company.
I spent the night, and he asked what my plans are for the day--I didn't have any so I let him know that I'd maybe catch up with some reading. He said he's got errands to run and has plans w/ friends. First mistake: I think I sounded like it don't have a life by having no plans on a Saturday. Anyway, last night I told him I'm going to a weekly meditation group in his neighborhood tomorrow- he knows about it and asked before so I thought I'd invite him to join. I told him again before I said bye to leave his place--I also said the time and that I will text him details. He said he might be busy with work stuff but can maybe come.
So now I am thinking that since I spent last night and part of the morning with him, my inviting him to join tomorrow was overkill and maybe came across as being overeager. My questions are (would love to hear from the guys on this):
A) Did I seen overeager, etc.?
B) if so, what can I do now to slow things down and keep him interested?
C) or...is this basically a signal that he is "busy" or aka, overwhelmed and wants to back out and not see me again?
(link)
|
Question B is where your problem lies!How do I slow things down NOW? Well NOW, the horse is already out of the proverbial barn so to speak and you are in that awkward position of having been intimate with someone you don't really know. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation in the future, reverse this process. Get to know him FIRST and then sleep over! I am not saying this from a prudish point of view just a practical one! There are few things worse than having to try to pick up on "signals" because you don't know the person well enough to just ask! My advice: back off and see if he pursues you. If he does then tell him you got off to a little bit too fast of a start and you would like to slow down and get to know him better. If he doesn't pursue you then chalk this one up to experience and refer back to paragraph one!Best of luck to you!
|
I am worried that I cant breath proply (link)
|
You needed to explain WHY you feel like you are not breathing properly. At any rate you need to see a doctor if you are having any problems breathing! Good luck!
|
So I'm on a diet and I was wondering if it would be ok to drink black tea. I usually add a teaspoon or two of sugar with a splash of milk. I was thinking about just having a cup in the morning along with my breakfast. Will this affect my weight loss? I'm not really concerned with the amount if calories, it's more will the sugar and milk affect my diet? (link)
|
I like my tea with just a little honey! Once you try that you may never want sugar in it again! The honey has more calories than the sugar but you don't need very much. Unless you plan on drinking several cups a day I don't think it will affect your weight loss goals even with sugar and milk. You could cut a few calories elsewhere to compensate! Good luck!
|
I recently started school again (2 weeks ago)and i am feeling extremely tired. My teachers give us a lot of homework and we have many tests.I'm finding it hard to keep up and i'm not being able to concentrate enough, i'm very forgetful and yesterday i woke up with a pain in my right calf which is still there.I also feel like crying for no reason. I feel so trapped and overwhelmed i don't know what to do.
P.s I'm in the 8th grade and i live in India (link)
|
My advice is to see a doctor. Fatigue and leg pain are very specific symptoms. I think this could be something more than just being tired. Please get checked out ASAP! Good luck!
|
So I've had the same boyfriend for about a year and I just don't love him like that anymore. He is nice and all but I just don't feel it anymore. It'll break his heart if I tell him. He's just too sensitive and needs me too much. I need someone stronger than that because I am NOT a a girl who will baby you. I don't take no shit. I speak my mind and I'm not much of a people pleaser but I don't want to hurt him. Is there a way I can tell him without hurting him. I don't want a boyfriend right now and kinda do better on my own because I can be more independent. If anyone was any ideas I sure could use em.
P.S I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 15 also. (link)
|
At 15 you seem to have a pretty good idea of who you are and what you want. Now, what you need to do is ask yourself, why did you choose him in the first place? This is important because you might break up with him and then find another boyfriend just as needy and sensitive as this one! The next time make sure you know somebody a little better before getting in so deep! It isn't going to be easy to break this off but you are just going to have to be honest with him. Tell him you have grown and matured a lot over the last year and you just don't want to be in this relationship anymore. Tell him that you two have grown apart and you just don't feel the way you used to about him and it is not going to change. Tell him you are sorry but you are sure he would rather you be honest with him than to lie to him or pretend that your relationship is okay when it isn't. If you think he is the kind who might try to harm himself you might be better off letting his parents know you are going to break it off with him and go to his house to do it. That way they can be there for him and help him to get through it. Unfortunately there is no easy way to do this. Good luck to you!
|
The discussion is real but is the feeling? I have always had the nagging feeling that my boyfriend isn't ready for the level of commitment we have. For two years he has reassured me that our son and I are what he wants but his words sometimes lead me to believe that he feels restricted and uneasy with our relationship. We just recently had a conversation in which he brought up the fact that he is unsure if where he is in life with us is where he really wants to be. It seems to me as if he needs some time to explore what it is that he really wants. He seems to think that his feeling of being trapped and forced into being a father and partner is simply part of being immature and he'll just get used to it. Opinions anyone?? It hurts me to hear him say he's not sure if he wants us. (link)
|
Whatever you do, for heavens sake don't try to force the issue or give him an ultimatum. Ask him what he needs from you in order to sort all this out. Don't try to put him on the spot or lay a guilt trip on him for not being happy with the direction his life has taken. It really may not have as much to do with you personally as the situation he finds himself in. Maybe he pictured himself doing something entirely different with his life. If he has regrets or still has unfulfilled dreams listen to him and let him vent. If your pregnancy wasn't planned then you have probably had a few of those feelings yourself!If there is any way that he could make the changes he needs to, like going back to school, let him know that you will support him in any way possible. I don't think he is saying that he isn't sure if he wants you and your son I think he is saying that he is not sure if he wants the life he is living right now. The best thing you can do is let him know he CAN talk to you, that you understand what he is going through and his feelings are safe with you. No accusations, no finger pointing, blame or guilt trips, just honesty. I think he will appreciate the fact that you probably have some of the same feelings he does from time to time. While I am sure you both love your child dearly, starting out this way is never easy! Best of luck to you both!
|
ok so i was on a cruise a few weeks ago and a boy started talking with me btw we are both going into 7th grade and now he is gone and i go to a private school with no boyz in my class and barely any i middle school and i cant stop thinking about him. And i think he liked me cause he came to me first (link)
|
I think this is good news! Most girls worry about whether or not boys will think they are attractive, now, thanks to this boy you no longer have to worry!If he didn't tell you how to reach him then it is probably best if you don't try to look for him. Since he is the first boy who ever stirred those special feelings in you, he will always have a place in your heart.I think you will be much happier however if you find a boyfriend who lives in your area! Maybe you could join some type of sport or activity (like band or martial arts)where you would have more of an opportunity to meet some boys your age. Ask some of the other kids where they hang out. Once you know where the available guys are I am sure they will find you attractive as well! Good luck!
|
Hi I'm 34 years old,my period are very irregular and lasts 7 days.The last day of my period was on the 08 July and had unprotected sex with my partner on the 13 July.Do u think that I will get pregnant, because it would be welcomed (link)
|
Yes, if your periods are irregular it would be POSSIBLE to get pregnant but not likely. If you are trying to get pregnant the best thing to do is buy a ovulation predictor kit or just a plain old basal thermometer from the drugstore and take your temperature every morning when you get up. You will need to keep a daily chart, when you start to ovulate your temperature will go up slightly for a few days. You will need to have sex during this time if you want to get pregnant. You might also want to see a ob/gyn about your irregular periods to rule out any underlying medical problems. Good luck!
|
I'm planning on moving out of my parents' house soon (hopefully in August), but I have a problem. I currently don't have a car that runs. I bought a Ford Mustang, but it's got a problem with it's wheel bearing and I don't even know when it'll be fixed. The part it needs is on back order and its already been a while. There aren't any taxis in my town and if worse comes to worse, I could ride a bike until my car gets fixed, but is there anything else I can do? Please don't try to talk me into staying with my patents until my car is fixed. I absolutely can't do that for so many reasons. Not the least of which is just that I'm too old to live with them, I need to get my life on track and get started on my plans for my life, I need my freedom and independence, and I need to get away from my unpleasant, controlling, verbally abusive father. There are many, many other reasons, but these are the big ones. (link)
|
You say your town doesn't have taxi's so I am going to assume it is a relatively small town. Is it possible to walk or ride your bike wherever you need to go? Maybe you could throw a friend a few bucks for gas if you need to get someplace outside of walking distance. Have you considered a motorcycle or moped? They are easy on gas and can get you anywhere a car can go. It is good that you are going ahead with your plans to move out. It sounds like you need a place of you own very badly!Good luck!
|
So... my boyfriend and I (I'm a 21 year old female in Australia) have been together for 13months(which isn't really that long) but I have known him all through highschool etc. and he is actually my older brothers best-friend. In fact my brother was the one who found out he liked me and encouraged us to get together (weirdly my brother was dating my now boyfriends sister at the time just to make things more random. They've since broken up and my brother is now dating a close friend of ours from highschool and we all hang out together.We are all in our 20's)
Problems started around our 1 year anniversary with the relationship were I basically had our first fight (and by I, I mean that. Just me. I got really upset because he rejected me sexually ON PURPOSE and he told me I was being irrational for getting upset.) and after a few days apart we slept together and things went back to normal.
For the past three weeks we have been on a break. One which I instigated as I've been focusing a lot on my health lately, quit smoking started sports etc. All of which my bf is "supportive" though I get the feeling he is sick and tired of hearing me talk about it. Hence I withdrew and stopped talking about it. He recently quit his job and is figuring out what he wants to do with himself.
So I figured a mutual break would do us both some good.
We have still been talking. But everytime we broach on the subject of our relationship things get awkward. Also the last few weeks before our break, sex had become awkward. I have always been a very confident sexual person whilst my partner wasn't. Though we managed to get past this early in the relationship its becoming a problem again. and sometimes mid-way through sex we both just stop and cant get into it again.I haven't enjoyed sex with him since before our anniversary and have become less confident in the bedroom because of this.
My bf is a very steady person. who enjoys his routine and doesn't cope well with change. Whilst I am a strong opposite constantly seeking out new experiences and challenging myself. My partner often says he would like to join me if/when I travel but he never makes plans for these things and I have never seen him take any initiative. Lately I have been trying to get his opinion about us as a couple and what he sees of our relationship in future. Its not so much that I'm planning to get married and have babies(actually I'd rather be travelling) but I want to share my experiences and journey with someone. Thing is that I want to take his opinions and goals into account because I want to support his growth as much as my own. I consistently get the feeling that I'm being needy and nagging him. I don't know if I am demanding too much from the relationship or he is just being square. For instance if I ask him what he thinks about us in a relationship hes says "I don't know. I mean I want to stay a couple.But yer" But it feels like I am just part of his routine now. As I said my self-confidence is starting to drop because I feel he just doesn't care.
I'm the main person responsible for decisions in our relationship, though I've always tried to keep it 50/50 and give him chance to make the choices.
A lot of our early relationship was me needing his help as I moved into the city for a new job and we actually broke up for a few weeks, as I thought it would be to difficult to manage and he was the one who argued we should continue it so I said we could try. It worked out and I have since moved back home and am about to start uni.
I was kind of hoping maybe he might instigate some changes in our relationship but he hasn't. I have tried 'being there for him' when I moved back but I just feel motherly (he's the type of guy who'll let you make him lunch, dinner and do his laundry etc. even help out with paying his phone bill because he doesn't know how) and like I am being overbearing. So I stopped and started focusing on myself and things have progressed to this stage.
I have no idea how I should be approaching this situation and I'm starting to feel like our relationships already over.
I would really like someone elses opinion about this. Should I confront him again? Am I doing the right thing giving him some space? Has anyone been in a similar situation with a partner and it did/didn't work out?
Your honesty is welcome guys.
Thanks.
(link)
|
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but yes, it is over. He isn't showing any signs of not wanting to lose you, or putting any effort into the relationship to make sure that he doesn't. The fact that things got weird with your sex life all of a sudden sends up some red flags as well. I am guessing the only reason he is still keeping you around is to do his laundry and whatever else might need fixin'! You sound like a smart young woman and you have made a lot of positive changes in your life already. I don't believe this is the right guy for you. I think there is someone out there who will appreciate you for who you are and not just what you are willing to do FOR him. If you stay in this relationship you will never need to have children because you will already have one! Good luck!
|
ok, so thats me, the one with the girl hating my guts. I couldnt log into my account, so i had to reset amd i just used a quick account, but, the girl (L) will crumple up my notes when i send them to her, and shes been pissed now for about 4 months. And is anerexsia really that serious? She needs professional help? :0 (link)
|
Since I have no idea why she hates your guts I am going to have to advise you based on what you have told me. If she has been totally pissed for 4 months, yeah she's really pissed!I am going to assume YOU know what you did to bring this on, right? Whatever it was try to apologize to her face if she will let you. If not there is really nothing more you can do. As for your question about anorexia, yes it is VERY serious. A person can die from anorexia if the disease goes untreated long enough. Anyone suffering from anorexia needs professional help immediately!Even if you are worried the person will get pissed you need to tell someone anyway. You might feel bad because they are mad at you but you would feel even worse if they were dead!If this is what you did to piss her off, then you really don't owe her an apology. You should never have to say you are sorry for trying to save someones life. My best advice based on what little information I have is to stop sending notes and just let her anger run its course. Maybe she will get over it, maybe she won't, but there is really nothing more you can do but move on with your life. I am sorry, this is probably not what you want to hear but I don't think there is anything more you can do at this point. Good luck!
|
I have a relationship with a guy that seems to be ok.But for no reason there are sometimes that i feel afraid of him.He hasn't done anything but he looks kind of rum.I don't know if I believe that he would never harm me.What should I do? (link)
|
Follow your gut instinct! When you get a feeling that something isn't right,it usually isn't. Every time I have ever ignored this feeling I came to regret it!Just be careful how you end things with him. If your feeling is right you could be placing yourself in danger. Tell him it is over in a restaurant or other public place where he would most likely not go bonkers and try to hurt you. You might also want to be careful for a while afterward just to make sure.I don't want to scare you but there are many women now in their graves who uttered the words "I don't believe he would ever harm me." Don't take any chances or let your guard down just in case!Good luck!
|
I'm female-14, my boyfriend asked me to go to the beach with him tomorrow and I said I would go, but then I got my period, an I've never used a tampon. plus I've heard that you shouldn't go in the beach with a tampon, but i don't know. my mom said she would show me how to use one and to just wear shorts, but I'm not so sure... (link)
|
All tampon packages come with pictures and instructions. The best way is to get by yourself in the bathroom and practice. After you get it you will wonder why you didn't try these things sooner! When you have your period they are the best invention since chocolate! If you are still uncomfortable getting in the water just wade along the beach with your boyfriend. Boys do know that girls get their periods so I am sure if you say "I don't really feel like swimming, I have cramps" he will get the picture and be happy along the shore!Have fun!
|
|