|
I don't know how to end it with him?!?!?
So I've had the same boyfriend for about a year and I just don't love him like that anymore. He is nice and all but I just don't feel it anymore. It'll break his heart if I tell him. He's just too sensitive and needs me too much. I need someone stronger than that because I am NOT a a girl who will baby you. I don't take no shit. I speak my mind and I'm not much of a people pleaser but I don't want to hurt him. Is there a way I can tell him without hurting him. I don't want a boyfriend right now and kinda do better on my own because I can be more independent. If anyone was any ideas I sure could use em.
P.S I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 15 also.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
At 15 you seem to have a pretty good idea of who you are and what you want. Now, what you need to do is ask yourself, why did you choose him in the first place? This is important because you might break up with him and then find another boyfriend just as needy and sensitive as this one! The next time make sure you know somebody a little better before getting in so deep! It isn't going to be easy to break this off but you are just going to have to be honest with him. Tell him you have grown and matured a lot over the last year and you just don't want to be in this relationship anymore. Tell him that you two have grown apart and you just don't feel the way you used to about him and it is not going to change. Tell him you are sorry but you are sure he would rather you be honest with him than to lie to him or pretend that your relationship is okay when it isn't. If you think he is the kind who might try to harm himself you might be better off letting his parents know you are going to break it off with him and go to his house to do it. That way they can be there for him and help him to get through it. Unfortunately there is no easy way to do this. Good luck to you!
]
The love you believe you had and the feeling that was there but now gone may not have been love feelings but 'new relationship energy'.
Its a heightened sense of excitement because of the newness of the situation which can mimic the real thing when in fact there really is nothing in common, no spark or chemistry. The romance feeling of having that spark for someone in most cases does not just disappear on its own. Either a person was sexually attractive and their presence made you feel desire or it was just NRE. If it's the real thing, then its still there as the years go on. If not, it fades. The only thing else that could kill the love one had for another is if the person were abusive, either physically, mentally or emotionally but that is more often a slow death over time. I experienced that loss of love after many years of abuse from 1st husband.
So since it seems it must be a lack of chemistry, tell him so.
Even with people where the situation is other than that and to tell the truth would anger them, it has always worked for me when dating after the
divorce, to say to a guy that I thanked him for the couple dates but felt no chemistry with him on my part. Never had a guy freak out over that. Seems to be a universally accepted explanation that doesnt hurt cus its just the way life is. A person can look attractive enough for me to be attracted to want to date but when spending time with, i see and sense a lack of chemistry. I am older with more experience so I can spot that sooner. It sometimes takes young people longer to see that but when you do, its important to let the guy know.
Make your self a list of what you like and don't like in a guy thru your dating experiences. One side has wants and the other stuff to avoid. It will help you in the future when looking for a long term partner or the eventual husband. Looks like you have a few things already to put on the list. As you date others throughout your teen and college years, you will find other things to put on the list. I did this for finding my 2nd husband and so glad I did.
]
Honestly, You'll just have to break up with him. Don't be wishy washy about it. You will just have to be honest and straight to the point. If you're not happy, that's not his fault. No one is forcing you to stay with him.
Yes it will upset him, but it would be worse to fake it through your relationship.
Good luck!
]
More Questions: |