Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30984
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Hi
I've been going out with this girl for a while now, 8 months+ , and things are great, she's 16 and I'm 17, though I just like to know if its wrong to want to go further, we kiss but that's about it, I feel like perhaps its wrong to just ask her to go further or even like feel her up coz she's 16 and dnt wana be forcing things on her..I'm just not sure.
Thanks for the help :) (link)
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Dude, just go for it. She isn't going to hate you if you try to feel her up once. In fact, she has to be expecting it. Don't ask her about it unless you want to start having full on sex and then you guys will have to decide what to do about birth control and find out what each of you like in bed.
Just whatever you do, do it gently and preface it with lots of kissing.
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i'm a teen girl i eat a lot and i eat food thats bad for me. it taste great and i don't wanna give it up; i'm skinny but i think i could end up fat if i keep eating like this. i tried eating less but i went back to my old way of eating within a few days. should i change my diet? (link)
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That is the real conundrum isn't it? We need to eat to survive but so much of the best food is high in fat or sugar (which is what makes it so damned tasty) and could have consequences down the road if you don't manage your intake of them well.
When I was a teenager, I had an uber high metabolism, but a lot of that was due to how active I was with sports and the fact that I had to walk two miles to school and then back everyday. So I could eat like a horse and not gain a pound. Unfortunately, one's metabolism slows down when you become an adult due to getting a job, and those are often sedentary these days working in a cubicle in front of a computer screen, the attendant tiredness after you leave the workplace, watching too much tv on the couch or being on the net. Exercise thus tends to be much more limited, if you are still doing it at all.
You don't have to eliminate good food, but try to be more moderate with it. Eat smaller portions, keep yourself to a maximum of 2000 calories a day and try to exercise vigorously for at least an hour per day. Keep your salt intake reasonable too, since high sodium is linked to pancreatic and kidney cancers and high blood pressure, among other issues.
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18/m
Hello there
Iv been going with this for just over 9 months and everything is just perfect. what started off as just friendship has turned into a crazy love for each other such that I can't see my life without her. I care A LOT about her and these feelings are mutual.
This all sounds good but then I just can't help thinking to myself, I'm 18 years old, I'm young, how can I possibly be in love,where could this relationship be possibly going. I feel at times that I should rather be living that commitment free life and that I'm missing out on a certain part of my life that I would never get back.
I'm just confused,love her,want to be with her,but yet still unsure
Help x| (link)
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You are asking yourself some valid questions.
You guys are going to grow and change a lot over the ensuing decade, so to really commit yourself now could end up being kind of a mistake because everyone does need that exploratory phase in their lives or they live to regret it. Not only that, but neither of you will be the same person you are now and so what you want in a partner will evolve with that.
If you want to stay in the relationship now because you enjoy it then there is nothing wrong with that. But when you get into college I think it best that both of you become free agents and kinda get some more varied experiences under your belts.
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It's raining and thundering and lightning at our house and my girlfriend is terrified of thunder and lightning. She scared she can't stop shaking and she's crying she keeps saying she's scared. What can I do to help her ? (link)
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The mistake here would be to belittle her fears. Ask her if anything happened in the past that engendered this reaction in her. Remember that she isn't going to want you to solve the problem for her but to just hear her out and understand what she is feeling. So listen carefully to what she is saying and then repeat in your own words what you are hearing from her.
Either that or she just acts afraid as an excuse to get you to cuddle with her.
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Im a shy girl and so is my boyfriend. We hug at school and we text eachother 24/7 and we talk on the phone. But when we are with eachother we are both too shy to start a conversation. It really bothers me but im just so shy because i really like him and i dont want to say the stupidest thing. We both want to kiss but we dont know when to, and we only can at school. Im 13 as well. Help asap? (link)
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This is really, really normal. And it gets this way because both parties have put each other on a pedestal and are afraid of being themselves.
Look, you have to be you in a relationship. If you try to be someone else you are going to end up as one neurotic puppy. Just start talking about what you want to talk about. The thing is that he may be better reacting to what you say anyway. Guys are not raised to be big talkers but more doers.
As for the kissing thing, lay your head in his lap and look up at him. He will at least look in your eyes. Grab the back of his neck and pull his head gently toward your face. I think he will figure out what to do from there. You don't have to necessarily be in a private situation to do that. You can do it at a park, even, as long as you don't overdo it and make other people uncomfortable.
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ok. let me rephrase the question since i don't think anyone understood quite what i meant last time. People think i am emo and gothic. What i meant when i asked how to get people to stop thinking i am, i meant like how do i put on my makeup and dress so that i won't look goth or emo? (link)
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Don't wear makeup (except maybe a little red lipstick or lip gloss), let your hair go to a natural color and style it in a more conventional fashion.
The emo look on chicks sucks anyway. Let your hair grow long because women look best when they do that.
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I dated this guy for 2 months. We weren't official, but he told me he never liked anyone as much as he liked me (he's 18), never found a girl like me, lost hope in relationships until he met me, etc. He gave me every compliment in the book. We had really deep conversations I was never able to have with ANYONE else.
But, excuse the expression, I was out of his league, on many levels, but I still really enjoyed spending time with him: texted him all the time, hung out with him on a regular basis, etc.
6 weeks into our dating, he says he's not ready for a relationship. I'm obviously confused, because HE has been pursuing/wooing ME all this time -- I'm out of his league, remember, so this is SO STUPID of him, since he almost had me -- but I'm okay and we're still as close. Exactly 1 week later he says, "I was so stupid, I know what I want now, I want you." I think about it for a week and tell him for sure I don't want a relationship.
We were still pretty close that week. I saw him a few days after and he's still the same as always, flirty, clingy, "you look so beautiful," etc.
FIVE DAYS LATER: He's official with another girl on facebook, a girl he's been friends with all along.
It was a week before I found out. He wasn't talkative during that week, but not unfriendly.
As soon as I found out, I stopped texting him. It was a d!ck move. Not exactly to me, but definitely to the new girl. She doesn't know me and probably doesn't know he had this two-month-long enrapture with me. And I feel like what we had is just cheapened. I wasn't expecting him to get into a relationship this quickly. Like, we hung out one-on-one a lot and obviously we can't do that anymore. That pisses me off, because we were so close, as friends, and he said he wanted to continue being like that, but now its gone.
Sticky situation is, we're co-workers. I haven't replied to any of his texts and have no desire to. But I'm not sure how to act towards him in work. Pretend nothing happened and be normal?, but I don't think he deserves that. Or just be civil upon contact? Or ignore him?
And why/how do you think he got with that other girl so fast?? I just don't understand. I'm shocked. He was SO into me, he told me so all the time. He said I was the only one who ever made him happy and that he wanted to recreate a world with just me in it. Then... new girl? Wtf???
I miss him as my friend. But I feel like nothing can be the same now. What should I do? :(
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There are two problems here:
1. You had feelings for him. You wanted him as your boyfriend and he rebuffed you on that account and you amplified it by subsequently fending him off on that question, too. You need to take responsibility for doing that and acknowledge the consequences of it.
2. You are way too possessive. Look, you have to realize that when you said no to a relationship to him you gave him tacit permission to seek companionship elsewhere. His life shouldn't solely revolve around you and he is not there for the sake of your convenience.
He hasn't cheapened anything. You guys can still be really good friends (though I have to say that guys are most often "friends" with women when they want to get with them) if you are mature enough to adjust to the new reality (plus he may very well break up with the girlfriend and try to rekindle something with you, but only if you demonstrate you're still available). If not, and if it is going to interfere with your job then you need to seek new employment.
I would also suggest that you find yourself a boyfriend, which will make you feel a lot better. If he likes you then there are likely to be a lot of other guys who would. So put yourself out there and see where it leads.
I have to say, though, that situations like these is why I don't date coworkers. You might want to make a note of that for future reference.
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im 18/f and my boyfriend is 19/m
my bestfriend that ive liked for months and months asked me to be his girlfriend only 2 days ago.. and now that im in the picture as his girlfriend, it would seem his ex wants back in too.
Him and his ex girlfriend were together for 5 years, and im worried about her coming over and catching up with him, just cause im scared that his feelings will come back and he'll return to her.
she also has a boyfriend, but that doesnt stop her from being flirty with him
he asked me if it was okay that he catches up with her, and that he promises nothing will happen. and although i trust him that he wont DO anything, im scared that he WILL get stronger feelings for her, then what he has for me...
i mean they were together for 5 years, been broken up for 8 months and we've only been dating a mere 48 hours..
im just really scared :( (link)
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Women are competitive with each other. This is why guys are often most popular when they have a girlfriend and then far less popular when they don't, for example (it also doesn't help that guys get more desperate when they are minus a squeeze, which in itself is not attractive).
His ex hasn't completely moved on emotionally and when you came into the picture it got her competitive juices going again. What you have to do is sit down with your boyfriend and tell him that he either has to completely move on and ignore her overtures or you will go elsewhere since you want both physical and emotional exclusivity and deserve it.
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17/f
Two days ago I had a sore throat and I thought that maybe I was getting a cold. The following day, I woke up and I was sneezing had a runny nose, and felt like my head was in a cloud. I am not coughing at all, but my ears hurt and my head hurts too. I've never had allergies before, but when I looked up my symptoms, it seemed to match up with the symptoms of hayfever. Do I have allergies? If so, should I go see a doctor? I took Zyrtec last night but it didn't help whatsoever. I feel terrible :-\ Help! (link)
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Hayfever can cause all that (your head is likely hurting from the sinus problems the allergy can lead to). If it doesn't pass after a few days go see an allergist and they should be able to help you devise some mitigation strategies for the problem.
Until then, take two Tylenol for the headache, but not more than once every six hours.
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first off, has anyone ever heard of molly's plant food? if you haven't, its a legal form of ecstasy. was for a little bit, anyways. now its banned, but there have been many knock-offs produced around where i live.
i first heard of molly's plant food about 3 months ago, tried it for the first time about 2 months ago. obviously, i loved it. at first, i did it occasionally. like at my prom, sometimes at a friend's house, etc. now i've gotten to where i take it once, sometimes twice a week. and when i'm not on it, i'm CRAVING it like a motherfucker. the thing about mdma is that it drains your brain of suppressed seratonin and flushes it all out, so you're deliriously happy for a few hours. after that, you get kinda depressed or apathetic. after every weekend of fun-filled rolling, i get angry, emotional, apathetic, and it just seems like i'm not happy anymore unless i'm rolling. and i definitely can't stop. i'm on too much of a routine to stop. i don't know what to do, my weight is dropping from not eating on weekends, my sleep patterns are off, and my moods are becoming borderlined suicidal. what do i do? 18/f (link)
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I think you need the intervention of a specialist.
The thing with X is that it actually kinda burns out a lot of the receptors of your brain, which is what is causing many of the problems you are now feeling.
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Ok well there is the guy that is in 8th grade that i really like (im also in 8th grade) and during one of our classes someone shouted out to the class hey so and so should go out and I said no no no no even though i like him and a few seconds later he was like never no no no no no and then someone was like wats wrong with so and so and the other so and so said nothing and im kinda worried that so and so might not like me Everyone says that we should go out. Wer have b een friends since 5th grade and we have good laughs and he is funny and everyone says common how obious is it that they haver feelings for eachother, but i just ignore everything but i have feelings for this person but idk ih the other so and so has feelings for me and i just need help because im clueless. I go to Saint vincent depaul skool hope u can help:) (link)
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First, you shouldn't be telling strangers where you live or where you go to school.
Anyway, people were just using your obvious affection for the guy to get a rise out of the two of you. It was just a good natured prank. I've had it pulled on me and so have zillions of other people.
Look, if you have an opportunity to be with someone you think would be good for you then you need to close the deal as soon as you can. Talk to him privately and tell him how you feel. This is a good object lesson for a girl because then they will understand better the position of guys, who are usually left with the job of doing the asking out. If he rebuffs you then you will understand how guys feel when they get the stop sign from a girl. So in a weird way being a little aggressive here is a total win-win even if you come up empty. Therefore, go for it!
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So, I'm a very mellow person, i don't enjoy drama, yet i like dealing with other peoples, thus advicenators. But i like to know random stuff just cause i can, so here's an easy to answer question for all of you people out there. Tell exactly what it is that makes you like that one special person, maybe it'll be an eye opener for some of you. (link)
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A combination of just personal honesty, niceness and open minded intelligence. If we share some common interests that is even better.
Look, ultimately, you have to get along with the person you're with. That is why looks just aren't that big a deal to me (though I will admit that I definitely have my limits, but so does everyone else). Life is meant to be enjoyed and so you gotta find the person who you can do that with in a relaxed way.
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Okayyy. so heres the thing. i know this guy likes me and he asked me out like 2X. 1st time his friends asked me for him and i paniced and said no like an idiot. cause i like him :/ than the 2nd time he asked me in person. i guess he didnt believe his friends. and right when i was about to say yes. i paniced again and said no. and walked off. now im getting really sick and tired of this!!! HELP ME!!! how do i go up to him and tell him that im actually interested. i dont want him to think im not. oh please o please HELP MEEE!!! (link)
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Just tell him that you want to talk to him about something and then just tell him what happened. Tell him that the fear of rejection got the best of you and you panicked and said the opposite of what you really wanted. Then ask him if his offer of going out with you was still good.
Here is the thing: guys are really dumb at reading women at any age, but especially when they are insecure teenagers. So you're going to have to be a little bold here. Good luck.
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I know the subject seems confusing, but I'm a person who's very shy but I'm outgoing around my closest friends, but I want to hang out with other people and still have them close to me, but the thing is I'm too shy and when I start to hang out with someone, I end up ignoring them because of my friends. So how do I start speaking up to a person to make them my friend? (too much "friend" in this subject) (link)
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I'm the same way, actually. It takes me a while to really warm up to people.
If you want to expand your circle of friends then you have to make more of an effort to pay attention to new acquaintances. The thing is that your age is a good time to take chances with stuff like this because after you graduate high school everybody is going to go their separate ways, so whether they accepted you as a friend or not becomes kinda immaterial in the long run. So night as well get in some practice making friends.
Half the battle in life is just having balls. If you develop that bravery then you vastly increase your chances of really getting somewhere.
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14/f
Every year my junior high has a Last Dance, which is kinda like a mini prom. Last year, all of my friends got ready with their other friends that I barely knew. I had to get ready alone with my mom.
This year, I'm scared the same thing will happen. They're all getting ready with one of the popular girls that I don't really know. My other friends aren't going at all. And my mom is going away this year (not that I want to get ready with her again, anyway). What should I do? Please respond quickly, the dance is this weekend!! (link)
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Just to kind of be disruptive here for a second:
why don't you just go hang out with your friends who aren't going? Couldn't you have more fun with them? Why is the dance so important to you? In the long run anything that happens there will ultimately prove meaningless anyway.
Try to look at the big picture and not get caught up in trivial matters. Your life will be a lot less stressful if you do that.
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i dont want my legs ripped but i want them to be toned. what work outs should i do? (link)
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Swimming. Your legs won't get ripped unless you do a lot of weight work. It also helps taper the legs and torso without making them look bulky.
There is also jogging, but that can be hard on your joints, especially the knee and back. You can always run in a pool, too, which is much more low impact.
Or you can walk a couple of miles a day. That will do it, too.
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I feel like I'm totally messed up from too much time on the internet during childhood & teenage years!
I feel like I've learned a lot of things because of it, but I also feel like I've missed out a lot and now have pretty poor social skills. I've made better friends online than with people I know IRL, ugh. But nobody ever really invites me to things or w/e IRL and I do have some activities, but just, yeah. And I'm also a terrible procrastinator. I'd do so much better in school if internet (music, forums, news articles) wasn't distracting me all the time.
How could this impact me in the long run? I'm worried. Like pros and cons wise. I really want to make up for this loss of life experiences when I'm in college. Like I haven't even been close to getting a boyfriend or anything. I don't relate to a lot of my peers on experiences like going to parties on the weekend with people from school, sleepovers, etc. It's also cause I'm one of the new people in school, so it's just very horrid. I haven't even been invited to any event (birthday, hang out at house) in more than a year now. When I first came to my new school people were nice and things were good and now it's like everyone's ignoring me. I dont get why people lose interest in me quickly.. I'm an interesting person, a good friend and everything.. I don't understand what I do wrong all the time.
Like I could literally spend all day online and not get bored. It's not that I don't want to do other things.. trust me, I'd love to actually have friends IRL with similar interests and etc., or do more activities, but until I get a car I'm dependant on my parents for activities so I can't do so many, and actually finding a legit friend at my school is even more of a reach. i moved to this town about a year ago, too, and while things were better friend-wise at my old school, since i lived there a long time, i still had issues. it's just worse here. like no joke this school year has been the worst year of my life. i've also been having really bad procrastination problems that essentially have ruined my year. and idk what to do and dont have anyone else to talk to but random people on advicenators.
Like my life from age 8-17(now) has been extremely internet driven
i just hate having no friends. i feel so alone like all the time. i just fantasize what it would be like to have a good friend with things in common at school and everything so i dont have to be by myself and feel so negative. its just been too long, ugh (link)
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First, you have to take responsibility for your actions. The internet is just a tool, not a malicious entity inviting you to your own destruction.
As for why you use it, that is something of a mixed bag. On the one hand, there is content there that perhaps your friends didn't have an interest in. On the other, it was a symptom of the fact that you didn't really like yourself and so the chance to interact with people anonymously and where you could adopt any persona you wanted was kinda liberating.
There is also a cultural issue. it just could be that your immediate surroundings weren't necessarily a good fit for your sensibility. So you retreated to where you could find something more congruent to your thinking, the net.
Therefore, I don't think it is the internet's fault per se that you feel like you have no social skills or friends. In fact, you may be perfectly sane but sometimes you live in an area where it is like Cretintown and there is little you can do about it other than just grumble about the cavepeople who populate it.
Even though I basically enjoyed high school and played sports and all that stuff, if the net were available when I was a teen (in the 1970's) I also would have spent more time with it than socializing with other people because I have such a quirkily wide array of interests that few people do.
So now the question becomes, "where do you go from here?" The fact is that high school doesn't really mean that much (I partied my way through mine) before I buckled down in college. College is killer and I think you'll have a much better time there. So you have something to look forward to. And then after college, go live overseas. Totally good experience.
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So, I'm 15
I really don't like the way I look "down there". I've never had sex, but I do masturbate and this is really hard to talk about, because I don't talk about it.
I don't know if it's nothing or what but, something sticks out, outside of my vagina and I really don't know what it is, if it's my clitoris or what.. I'm just scared it's abnormal, I don't want to go to the doctor and be embarrassed..I don't believe I have an std because I'm still a virgin..will some one please help me out here? ://
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Nope, nothing abnormal at all. So relax. As an earlier commenter said, probably just long labia, which is really common.
As for your vagina generally, there is nothing dirty or disgusting about it. I often think it's rather like a flower. So it's beautiful. No need to be self conscious. And everybody masturbates. And I mean EVERYBODY. So you aren't unique there, either.
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so today i took a trip to the library today, and i had spotted my friend from my school,so then i seen this girl who i didnt find or look attractive to me. she was dark skin and well i looked at her as well, had no feelings for her, and just kept talking to my friend ignoring her.
I do not know why she turned to face me a couple of times. i found it to be annoying because i didnt know her. i had women stare at me and they are angelic. but this girl kept staring at me.
after a while i saw her outside i saw a friend i talk to him. i got mad at the girl that kept looking at me so i stalked her for revenge. she kept taking looks at me. it was real annoying.
why was she doing this? i had nothing towards her,i showed her no interest or anything.
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Boy, you're expressing a lot of aggression toward someone who probably thought you were attractive even if you didn't want anything to do with her. Where is that aggression coming from? You totally overreacted. Do you generally have anger issues? Because it sure sounds like it.
You had better start learning to channel that anger or it will cause you a buttload of problems later in life.
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recently, i've started losing weight. about four months ago, i was 112 lbs and my dress size was 3. now, i'm 100 lbs and a 1.
to be perfectly, honest, this is really scaring me. i'm not on a diet. i'm not doing anything different. i eat when i'm hungry and don't eat when i'm not. the only thing i have noticed is that my appetite isn't as excessive as it used to be. i'm not ALWAYS hungry, and when i am, i don't eat as much as i used to. i don't know whats wrong. and because of this, i'm rather rapidly losing weight. i'm bony and tiny and i just look horrible! my friends are even wondering if i'm purposely not eating. my family thinks i'm anorexic. on top of all this, i can't dress how i want since i look awkward and bony now. i have to wear baggy clothes, everything hangs off of me like a bag.
a) what is happening to me? b) how can i gain some weight? quick? (link)
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It's either a metabolic issue or diabetes. In either case you need to see a doctor right away. Diabetes is a weird disease in that it can manifest itself even when you aren't grossly overweight. Usually, there is some kind of genetic predisposition for it in one or both of your parents.
Don't overthink this because then you really could end up with an eating disorder. Get to a doctor.
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