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i think i'm an addict
first off, has anyone ever heard of molly's plant food? if you haven't, its a legal form of ecstasy. was for a little bit, anyways. now its banned, but there have been many knock-offs produced around where i live.
i first heard of molly's plant food about 3 months ago, tried it for the first time about 2 months ago. obviously, i loved it. at first, i did it occasionally. like at my prom, sometimes at a friend's house, etc. now i've gotten to where i take it once, sometimes twice a week. and when i'm not on it, i'm CRAVING it like a motherfucker. the thing about mdma is that it drains your brain of suppressed seratonin and flushes it all out, so you're deliriously happy for a few hours. after that, you get kinda depressed or apathetic. after every weekend of fun-filled rolling, i get angry, emotional, apathetic, and it just seems like i'm not happy anymore unless i'm rolling. and i definitely can't stop. i'm on too much of a routine to stop. i don't know what to do, my weight is dropping from not eating on weekends, my sleep patterns are off, and my moods are becoming borderlined suicidal. what do i do? 18/f
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I think you need the intervention of a specialist.
The thing with X is that it actually kinda burns out a lot of the receptors of your brain, which is what is causing many of the problems you are now feeling.
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This is precisely why I don't do ecstasy anymore. That feeling is just too good to give up, which is why I only did it a few times. And while I never became addicted to it, I completely understand how you can crave that feeling.
And I think we both know it's beyond "taking your mind off it" or "eating a peppermint." Like everyone else said, if you're rolling that frequently (your come downs most totally obliterate you at this point) you really are going to need some professional help. Talk to your doctor and get directed to some sort of rehab program.
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most people would say thinking of rehab but i honestly think that sucks most people that go to rehab do not change i think that first you have to want to change your habit if you know its an addiction and that it is bad replace that habit with a new one for instance when you feel an urge grab a peppermint my mom use to be addicted to cigs and whenever she had a craving she would eat a peppermint im not saying to go on an all food buffet but find something to take your mind off the drug also find something to motivate you someone or something you live for for example i stopped smoking because i saw how it hurt the people that i loved if you see that you not only cause damage to those around you and your self then that is more than enough motivation to stop hurting your self just try really hard no one can change you but your self and at the end of the day that is all you have is yourself
-Erika
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Consider rehab. Consider a therapist or a counselor. As for definitely defining you as an addict... you sure sound like it, but hey, I'm not a doctor. But you seem like a smart girl, you know what you're doing and you know the crappy effects its having on your system. You need to stop this. You seem fairly responsible, and by that I mean that I think you know you need to stop. This drug will empty your system or all seratonin and leave you an empty, feigning shell.
So stop this. Bad girl. Get yourself cleaned up. You'll love yourself more when you're strong enough to do this.
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Seriously consider rehab.
The road back is not fun. I have alot of experience with MDMA and you really, really need to stop. Cold fucking turkey. You need to do whatever you have to to remove your access to it for several weeks, maybe a month. Your body needs time to get back to neutral and replenish lost supplies.
That's why I brought up rehab. You won't really have a choice in the matter at that point.
You can seriously fuck yourself up rolling several times a week. The shifts back and forth between happy and a complete inability to cope with life emotionally will end with you being bi-polar and needing serious therapy, maybe medication for chemical imbalance.
This post is progress. The first step to overcoming addiction is to admit to yourself there is a problem, and no addict who hasn't admitted there's a problem can self identify as an addict.
Now you need to admit to yourself that being an addict means you cannot fix this alone. That's the point, that you have not been able to fix this alone. It's time to tell someone you trust, and to seek help.
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