A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years and he is showing no signs of wanting to get married. I have 2 children from a previous marrage and he has never been married before. We are both 33 years old and we live in Nebraska where people don't generally wait much longer than 2 years. We have had our ups and downs but we do very well with the exception of me wanting to get married and him putting it off. How long should I wait? What do I do now while waiting? (link)
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You need to talk to him.
You're waiting. That means marrying him is a foregone conclusion. Does he feel the same? You need to discuss this and figure it out. Marriage isn't something you approach by finding out he wants to marry you the night he proposes.
Bring it up. Three years, in your 30s, if that's where you want to go with this you need to confirm that it's where you're both headed, and then start thinking about it. Once you're on the same page, it'll happen eventually.
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so my dad thinks my sisters friends are scum because they drink and smoke. he doesn't let me hang out with my sister and all of them. my sister has always been there for and i like her friends, they're fun and we get along really well. they want her to get out of the house. they don't know her the way i do though. like whenever i'm sick she'll be the one taking care of me and she always makes me feel involved and she treats all of my close friends like family. she's a sweet person, and so are her friends. they all work/are in the marines, so it isn't even like they're bums, they just like to live life. i really like hanging out with them but i don't want to lie everytime i have to..no matter how much i convince him that theyre not bad people he still said if he catches me around them i'm going to be in hugee trouble. what am i suppose to do? i love my sister. (link)
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Ok then. I was going to guess 16 or younger.
18? You're legally an adult. You are also old enough to make your own choices and set your own priorities. This means, if your father chooses to try to control your actions and makes dealing with him unpleasant, then ignore him and go around him.
She's your sister and it sounds like you're very close. Don't lose that, you'll value it more and more the older you get. Don't sacrifice that relationship (or the relationships with her friends, if they're as cool as you say) because your father disapproves.
I wouldn't say this to anyone. I'm saying it to you, specifically because of that "they all work and they just enjoy life" line. Not only are they at least decent examples of having your shit together, but you're mature enough to recognize the and acknowledge the difference. Your father's not in a place to be able to do that, it's not your fault and it's not entirely his either. But it's also not your job to deal with it.
Figure out what you want, and do it. Take what action you deem necessary to protect yourself from your father's reactions. You're not going to agree with him for the rest of your life, and you've hit the point where it's time to stop pretending you do (at least, when he's not around)
For as long as you live at home, it's reasonable to keep your private shit private. Going your own way is part of becoming an adult.
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Ok imma young girl who is in love with an older guy and he says he loves me to what do I do? (link)
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That's really not enough information to say anything other than "if this is in any way illegal, you should stop talking to him"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#United_States
That'll tell you if it's legal or not. Just click on the table of contents link to "United States"
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Female/17
My friend and I have been friends for 6 years. The weirdist part was when he hugged me really tight and held my hand in a car ride one day. That day he said he started to like me by text and i said i did to. But I rather be friends for now. The next day, he said it was just a crush and he apologized for what he did. Well now,we're still friends, but he still teases me in a funny nice way. Not only that but he wants my family to respect him and makes sure he's on his proper behavior. Not only that, but he insists on sticking my my side just incase someone tries to hurt me. But i dont know, there is mixed signals is there somthing there that he truly did like me? Or was it just a joke...
Please help me. (link)
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Aww. This is cute.
He's probably pretty much in love with you. And I think you're probably pretty close to the same with him. And you're both too nervous about messing up the friendship or the ambiguous signals to do anything about it.
If you like him (like it sounds like) you should express it. Consider dropping into the conversation "I liked it when you held my hand the other day, and I didn't like it when you apologized" and giggle at him as his eyes go wide when the meaning hits.
Or smacking him upside the head and kissing him if he doesn't get it/is too nervous to believe it.
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Ok so you answered my wuestion previously, and in pretty sure you were right about the keylogger thing. According to my brother, my brother John went onto his other runescape account, he saw the guy on his account and asked him how he got on it, the guy said that we had a virus on our computer and that keylogger thing. We changed our passwords..but does that mean we are safe? What do you mean by reformatt? Is that something I do? Or do I take it to where I got my computer at and can they just handle it all?
Thanks for any further help! (link)
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First, no, your accounts are not safe. I'd honestly consider contacting runescape and asking them to temporarily freeze your account because it's been hacked, if there's a keylogger on the computer they already have your new passwords. Use the phone if at all possible, e-mail could easily end up taking forever and not getting what you need done.
Reformatting means erasing the entire hard drive and reinstalling your operating system, which you sound like you probably won't do yourself.
Best Buy (geek squad)is your best bet. Generally speaking, they're pretty good at fixing computers which have been screwed up like this. They will, however, have to go through everything. If there are pictures, videos, financial documents, etc you need to go here
http://www.safer-networking.org/en/index.html
And download Spybot Search and Destroy. It's a kickass little program that has a file shredder in it.
Back up anything you or your family deems important, like family pictures, any documents (like financial stuff) and then drag it into the file shredder and shred the stuff so it can't be recovered. General security, you just don't want to put personal data, etc int he hands of a guy who's paid less than fifteen bucks an hour.
Talk to your parents. You're going to need their help, and likely money, to fix this.
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I am looking for a camera that I can afford and is good. I'm not a professional or anything, I just enjoy taking pictures and editing them later on. There are SO many digital cameras and I just dont know where to start.
I'm in Brisbane, Australia and my budget is no more than $1000. If there is a really good camera for a couple of hundred more, I dont mind chipping in.
I just want a camera that takes really good pictures, like sometimes when you take a picture of yourself or a thing or friends, it doesnt come out the same in the photo. Real life looks better than memory photos. I want to change that. I want my photos to capture the beauty that I see with my eyes. Does that make sense?
I've spent loads of money on crappy digital cameras that suck in all aspects except for the megapixel. I'd like one with the focussing and the high quality output.
Thank you so much. (link)
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Cannon Rebel series.
I was going to buy a Camera for Photography, and that's what I was looking at. The digital models are pretty damn amazing, and Cannon is far and away the best brand you'll find in your price range. You want, I think it's "SLR", Cannon has alot of digital cameras which still use the long focusing lenses, which is what you want.
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Somebody hacked into our computer. They hacked into my brothers game he plays (runescape?), facebook & myspace for sure. We tried calling AT&T (our Internet service) but were no help at all. Anyway, what should we do? Were afraid he was able to find out our other accounts like email and other
important accounts. Are those possible to even get hacked? What should we do? (link)
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The likely issue is a keylogger.
Reformat the computer. Without actually sitting there to be able to try to fix it, that's the best solution I can give you. Barring that, take it to Best Buy and have geek squad look at it.
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Im gonna try to keep this as shortt as possible. Basically, recently when i smoke weed, i experience some crazy stuff. Its just the weirdest scariest feeling to me and its the same feeling everytime and i hate it. It doesnt happen to anyone else im ever with when i smoke, and i know its not hat the weed is laced or anything because its the same exact feeling no matter what weed i smoke. Everytime i have a n opportunity to smoke, i convince myself that it wont happen this time, that its just all in my head and i cant think about it. But no, it happens everytime. I thijk tonight might be my last night getting high if i cant figure out the reasoning for this. I wanna be able to feel good when i smoke, not like a strobe light, paranoid, tingly, and like im dying..
The best way i can describe the feeling is that i get very confused and woozy suddenly and everything starts spinnibg. Then it kind of feels like im trapped in my body and half of me has no clue where i am or what im doing but then at the same time i know exactly whats going on. My whole entire body tingles and sometimes i cant feel myself and it feels like my fingers kind of go through everything i touch. Everymove i make feels delayed or like chopped, i cant really explain it but im praying someone knows what im talking about or someone has gone through this because i need to know that the same exact feeling happened or happens to someone else
could this be what they call "the strobe light effect?"
if so, how can i stop it from happening when i smoke?
Im not on any medications and i dont have any wierd health problems.
If its not the strobe light effect then what could it be? I want to know whats causing my body to react that way tk weed and it cant be that im alergic to thc because ive smoked for a year with no problems before it started happening
Thank you very much:) (link)
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Honestly no idea. I haven't seen or heard of reactions like that to Marijuana before.
But if you're having that negative of an effect, stop. Intoxicants are supposed to be enjoyable. If you aren't enjoying it, stop. Other than that, I doubt you're going to get a decent medical solution or even good information here, and a doctor would just tell you to stop the same as I have.
About the only guess I could make is that you've got some other condition which is being aggravated.
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Does the internet really know what its talking about?
Both my parents smoke in the house, internet says the person breathing in the smokers smoke is more at risk of getting sick, because you're breathing in the smoke from the cigarette and then you're also breathing in the smoke the smoker is exhaling, what doesn't make sense is wouldn't the smoker be more at risk then me especially if its BOTH my parents smoking around eachother because they're both breathing in eachothers smoke.
I mean I go in my room to get away from it as much as I can, so how can I possibly be more at risk of getting lung cancer then them?
please helppp.
(link)
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I couldn't even understand the post below...
Second hand smoke isn't exactly healthy, but it's nothing like as dangerous as actually smoking.
Think about it. They inhale it, then their lungs absorb a bunch of shit, then they exhale. The smoke that comes out has already been somewhat processed through their body, so alot of the bad shit is already in them and not coming back out.
Doesn't mean it's healthy for you, and doesn't mean you can't have issues from it if you're around it enough, but second hand smoke from your parents is less than smoking a cigarette a day assuming they both smoke at least a pack a day each themselves.
You're definitely at lower risk. But other than cancer, there are other issues including irritating your lung tissue that can develop, like Bronchitis and lower lung capacity.
Second hand smoke isn't good for you, but it's not a greater or even equal risk.
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I'm starting college next year.
I have a lot of friends right now who love drinking, getting high, etc. In college, I'll probably be surrounded by MORE people like this.
The problem is I dont' drink and do drugs AT ALL. It's not even that I think it's wrong, I just feel I don't need it. I've tried beer and whatnot before and I didn't like the taste. I've never tried drugs but I don't really feel the need to get high or see a real point to it.
Anyway, how alienated will I be in college? I'm worrying that I'll stand out. Right now it's not too bad; I just don't hang around with my friends if they're going to be drinking and shit. But in college, will it be different? How do I cope? (link)
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Be non-judgemental.
I lived in a house in college with plenty of drinking. When I say plenty, I mean there was someone drinking somewhere in the complex almost all the time, parties every weekend, etc etc.
One of my closest friends from that house was straightedge. He was a goofy bastard who didn't like alcohol and didn't feel the need for anything else, same as you.
Own what you are and what you like. Tell people "I don't like alcohol or the way it makes me feel, and I've never had my own reasons to try anything else" and leave it at that. The reason there's so much peer pressure associated with this stuff is that there's alot of irresponsibility and alot of judgment thrown around. Often times, people who don't partake do so because they look down on it in some way and are more than willing to tell others that they're doing something wrong. No one who's drinking wants to be told that.
If you approach it instead from a "I don't care what you do, but it's not right for me" angle and can still hang out and have a good time, people will leave you alone about it. If they don't, find new people.
Myself, I'm not a fan of alcohol. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it, but at 6'2 with Cajun, Irish, and German heritage, I'm a tank. It takes me three to four times the intake in the same period to get as drunk as everyone else and to maintain it.
That's expensive and unpleasant. Imagine for a second, I don't like the taste of beer any more than you do, and while others can just drink it normally and get wasted, I have to drink it down fast and keep my glass full to get half as intoxicated.
The thought makes me kind of queasy, honestly.
That house I talked about? It took a while for everyone to get used to my "absolutely no beer, ever" stance. But they did, and I partied with them when people were drunk and I was sober because I didn't have/didn't want/couldn't afford hard liquor.
People respect your personal choices when you demonstrate to them that you choose for you, not for them.
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Hi...
My friend smokes pot a lot and he invited me to come to his house this weekend and smoke with him. I've been playing it off this entire time and haven't told him that I've never smoked a joint before. It's kind of embarrassing to just tell him that it's new to me though.
I'm a little iffy on the whole issue. I don't know what to think of it. Should I smoke pot with him? It can't hurt to right? (link)
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First, some facts to counter the bullshit posted below.
Marijuana does not kill brain cells. Marijuana is not chemically addictive. Smoking Marijuana has not been proven to lead to any significant long term side effects, including cancer like cigarettes. Marijuana is not "a gateway drug"
Like any activity that people enjoy, Marijuana can replace other activities and take over someone's life. A comparable example would be World of Warcraft. Obviously, you cannot suffer "WoW withdraw", but people do often play WoW for hours and hours to the point that other more important things (like work, school, friends, sleep, family, etc) get cut out, ignored, and forgotten. Some people do indeed get high and stay high and fuck up their lives. These are people who were going to get addicted to something, they were looking for a way to escape life, and weed just happened to fit the bill for them.
There is no such thing as a "gateway" drug. That's a term that was created by the weak who cannot handle their own lives and choices and who cannot help but be consistently irresponsible. The girl below is an example of said weakness.
Rather than a "gateway" what weed is is demonized. People tell lies and spread misinformation about how bad it is, and when people smoke it and realize how much it has been lied about, they begin to wonder what else about drugs they've been told is a lie. Weed occupies something of a unique role in this way, because it is attributed by the ignorant to many bad outcomes which are false, and most other drugs the bad outcomes are relatively real.
Coke? Addictive as hell, and has a relatively low overdose limit meaning that you can easily do too much and kill yourself. Crack, heroin? They'll kill you eventually, period. Ecstasy? Causes depression, can lead to bipolar disorder with regular enough abuse. Meth? It'll kill you, is addictive as hell, and is usually made at home in a lab in someone's kitchen with ingredients you'd never put into your body if you knew what was in it.
This is the problem with misinformation. When you realize that you've been lied to about something, it makes you question everything else you've ever heard about similar subjects, in this case other drugs.
Another thing that weed is not, is something you should do for other people's reasons. Some people seek out the experiences you're being offered, some people are absolutely fine without them, some people would rather not. Each of these decisions is valid when the person in question decides for themselves.
Last thing. The real side effects.
Weed slows you down a bit. It has effects on your conversion of short to long term memory, and can have a significant effect on your ability to learn new information because of this effect on memory retention.
These are not permanent effects, however in lab testing it's been shown that diminished capacity can last up to a week after you stop smoking if you are a somewhat regular smoker (more than once a week). In other words, if you're in classes of any kind, it's probably not a great idea.
Last, keep in mind that drug testing gets cheaper and more common every year, and that of all possible intoxicants marijuana stays in your blood stream and urine the longest. With chronic smoking, it can be positive as long as a month later with urine, and six months with bloodwork (though blood tests are very uncommon for employment)
It's illegal in most of the US. If you aren't in the US, might be an entirely different story, and the truth behind Weed is that it's less dangerous than alcohol.
But if you're in the US, be forewarned that because we've still got draconian laws in place which make little real sense, you could literally have your entire life ruined if you're caught with it. Penalties vary from state to state, but an amount you possess only for personal use can still get you a felony charge in some places, and shit like that's expensive to fight and difficult to win.
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I was told that shisha was not addictive but now I find myself craving it every single day. I cannot go without it or I cannot sleep or function properly. I feel pathetic and low. I've never felt so depressed and bad in my entire life. Heck, I've never spent so much money on something like this crap in my entire life. I don't even have an addictive personality so I don't know why I'm so...addicted!
Please, help me kick this habit. It's terrible, making me broke, and ruining my life. It's ruining my life. What do I do? How do I stop smoking shisha? I'm begging for real help here. (link)
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You're awfully condescending for someone who doesn't know what they're talking about.
Nicotine is out of your system within a week or two. The continued craving for a cigarette comes from the habitual smoking. It's not uncommon for smokers to smoke when stressed or busy, and that comforting habit is hard to shake.
Further, "nicotine withdrawl" is not the same thing as wanting a cigarette. There are specific physical symptoms that result from the body needing and wanting nicotine, and these symptoms are short lived. If you look at other chemically addictive substances it is the same. People who drink coffee regularly will suffer a withdraw upon ceasing which can include headaches, nausea, etc. These symptoms are usually a few days to a week depending on regularity of useage. Heroin addicts will want to shoot up to escape life long after they have stopped suffering the physical withdraw symptoms, sometimes even years later when the actual sickness is over in a matter of weeks.
That's the point. The not being able to sleep is a withdraw symptom. Other crap feelings can be attributed to the same, which would cease after probably a week or a week and a half. The continued desire to smoke because it's a habit can and often does last longer.
Don't be a condescending ass to people who are older than you and who know more than you do about what's being discussed. I've been smoking for 8 years, by the way.
Your father's brain does not crave nicotine, your father's brain craves the habitual comfort of a cigarette. That too can be a powerful desire, but it has nothing to do with nicotine and you have no idea what you're talking about.
:/edit:
It's probably specifically a nicotine addiction. Shisha is tobacco usually treated with some form of flavor/smell stuff.
Shisha, to the best of my knowledge, is less regulated than cigarettes as to what level of nicotine it contains. Consider nicotine gum/patch, that would likely help considerably.
The other good-ish news here is that nicotine withdraw is usually relatively short lived. If you just quit, you might feel like crap for a few days and then you'll likely level out at a week tops of just feeling a little shittier than usual.
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16 /f
I am so very much in love with my boyfriend . I really am .
I asked him to go to this party & he made it very clear he didn't want to be there . Well the day of all of my friends asked me if I was coming, I didn't plan on it . But my boyfriend started ignoring me the whole day until on my way to my friends house he finally text me, but by then I had made plans, I'm so tired of him doing that to me . So I was gonna go, I'm with the girls & he calls, & I tell him & he gets pissed off again . Long story short he goes and hangs out with his friend & his gf & this girl he used to be involved with actually got her pregnant . So I'm mad and it's this guy J's birthday so I call him and tell him happy birthday, I end up going to hang out with him for a couple of hours, just talking & smoking, nothing more , pretty much talking about my boyfriend M . who would hate me & break up with me & never speak to me again if I told him about this . But I'm always so honest with him its breaking my heart not to tell him , but Itll be soo much more worse if I do . idk what I should do . Our realationship is falling apart & if I tell him this he'll be gone for ever . Can I have so advice ?? Cause I know if I wait longer & it ever comes out itll be so much more worse, or if i keep my mouth closed for ever . I should do that right ? (link)
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Wow. Your boyfriend is a douchebag. Why do you care if he leaves? Or more specifically, why haven't you left yet?
I mean, he knew you were heading out and tried to stop you, then gets pissed off when you won't break plans. He's a petulant child, no one with any level of maturity sets you up to be doing something else, then demands your attention and throws a hissy fit when they don't get their way. He created the situation so he could be mad/hurt/whatever and make you feel guilty, thus allowing him more control over your actions.
The technical term for these kinds of actions is "emotional abuse"
Your relationship is falling apart because it's not really possible to maintain any real relationship with a whiny controlling pathetic baby. Let it go.
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i am well soon to turn 15 and me and my boyfriend really want to have a baby. my boyfriend is 100%loyal to me. i guess i want to know if i should go through with this. i mean what to tell my mom i dont know my 16 year old sister is already thinking she might be pregnant to. i also would like to know if it is expensive to be home schooled and be home with my child. thank you. (link)
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If you think a guy who's dating a 15 year old is mature enough to stick around and be a good father, you've got another thing coming. If you think you're ready, you're even more naive.
Raising children requires, above all else, the ability of the parents to set a mature adult example for the child.
You are not capable of this. You are a child yourself. You do not have the experience nor the maturity at 15 to raise a child in modern society, no one on this earth does.
Step 1 of presenting the kid with an example they can follow is waiting until you can support the kid yourself with a partner so that they grow up in a home where mommy and daddy showed them from day 1 that it's important to be able to take care of yourself.
If you have a kid now, your child will almost certainly follow in your footsteps and have a kid too early him or herself. This is how these things work, your bad decisions become acceptable end results to your kids because you weren't able to provide them a better example to try for.
Worse, you will not be as good of a parent. At 15 you haven't even begun to live your own life, how are you supposed to support a child who wants to do the same? You are not an adult, how will you teach a child to be one? Or are you going to give them the example to follow of "I did what I wanted and let my parents clean up the mess I left and teach my kid all the things they should have learned from me"
If you do that, I hope you're ready to be a grandparent-parent and raise your grandkids the way you should have raised your own children, because your kids will do the exact same thing.
Having a kid at 15 is selfish and shortsighted. In this day and age we do not raise our children to be ready to parent at 15, there is no such thing as a teenager who is ready, just teenagers who are arrogant and stupid enough to think they are.
I'm 25, my wife is a few years younger, we aren't ready for kids yet. We don't have stable jobs, we aren't done with our education, and to be honest we aren't done having fun being young and carefree. You're years away from being where we are. If we aren't ready, neither are you.
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There is this really hot girl I've been talking to. She told me she's slept with a lot of people. I mean, a lot, like 40 something guys. She's so hot though and, to be frank, she's easy.
I want to have sex. She told me that she'd do it with me next week if I come over to her place while her parents are gone. She has a big pool there and she said she always does it in the pool so that she's clean and STD free. What she was saying was that the chemicals in the pool kill any STDs that somebody might be carrying.
Sounds great but I want to double check this. I'd hate to have to go to the doctor after banging her. Is she telling the truth? (link)
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She is an idiot, and if you stick your dick in there you'll likely end up with an STD.
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ok so my little brother, is always downloading weird stuff on the family computer, hes always making our computer less secure, make it run slower, downloading really weird things, etc. i'm pretty sure the majority of things he downloads is to help him hack his little games he plays or cheat on the game. i get really mad because A. I have school stuff and pictures on here, and its annoying when we have to reboot the computer. B. I play this one game, and when the computer breaks, i lose everythng. C. the computer runs slowly, & thats no fun to deal with either.
We've already had to buy a new computer because of him. My parents don't really do anything about it, because they don't care, & plus he lies like crazy, and gets his way out of anything.
I want to be able to block this stuff, actually.. does anyone know if like whenever he goes to download something, a message type thing would pop up & he would have to enter a password? because that would be really helpful, so then i could check what he's downloading.
i've tried blocking the websites, but i don't know all the websites he goes on, and some of it is like websites other members of the family go on, and i think its bad, but its really not.
oh he has some of things on the desktop right now...rsbot, swift kit, MOD'S, riseq, rsclient.
if anyone knows if that stuff is bad, please tell me.
thank you for any help! (link)
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I just want to step in and say that violating a video game's EULA is not in any way an illegal act. It is a violation of a legal agreement by which the company is entitled to suspend/ban/delete/modify your account or characters at will for any reason including them finding out that you're botting.
It could cost a bit of money if he gets banned, and alot of time if he gets permabanned, IP blocked, or characters deleted. If runescape is subscription based, then Time = Money and someone's going to end up paying that too.
Actually fixing the computer is too involved. People get paid fifteen+ bucks an hour to fix the kind of crap he's probably done to it, so maybe check out geek squad or google up instructions on reformatting the hard drive.
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Hi, I am 47 and am getting married in about 6 weeks. My friend who is 25 wanted to make our wedding cake. I wasn't comfortable with it at the time but said ok because she really wanted to do it and it was going to be our wedding gift from her. She can be immature at times and gets easily offended. We work together on a Board of Directors for a camp. She sat on some information I gave her and lied to one of the people in charge. She made it sound like I was the one who sat on the information when I gave it to her weeks before. I confronted her about it and she got mad and said she didn't lie and made some excuse to make it sound like what she did was ok. She never apologizes when she does something wrong nor when she hurts me. Now I would rather not have her make our cake nor be at our wedding, but I don't know how to tell her this without her taking offense. She is so immature that if something doesn't go her way, she will literally throw a tantrum and walk out, and I do not want our wedding day to be ruined because she isn't included in a photo or involved in doing something. When I didn't hear from her I asked her if she was still making our cake and if not I found somewhere else that can do it, and she took offense to that. I am just tired of all her drama. We used to live in the same area but she has moved to a different city so we do not see nor talk to each other as much anymore. This sounds terrible but it would be no big loss if I ended the friendship. She considers me her best friend but I never considered her my best friend. My future husband is my best friend. I am sorry this is long but I don't know how to shorten it without leaving out crucial details. Hope someone can give me some advice, and let me know if it is proper etiquette to "disinvite" someone from your wedding. (link)
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Lord. I'm 25 for the record and that's ridiculous.
Sever the friendship. Be honest about it. Don't apologize. Make the cake arrangements tomorrow, and be prepared to have her removed if she shows up to the wedding looking for trouble.
She's young enough to be your kid and she's acting like it. I wouldn't tolerate that in my life, I can't for the life of me understand why you are.
Be polite, but cut things off. Tell her point blank that she threw you under the bus and there's no excuse for it, and that her willingness to defend an action she knows is wrong tells her alot about how much she really values you as a friend, that she can't even woman up and apologize for basically screwing you over to try to save her own ass.
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I've taken nude pictures on my webcam before, and little did I know computer stores see everythin you do on your computer, including see the pictures taht you see. Some guy has them and sent them to a lot of people i dont know, now he found my syke adress and is harassing me saying hes going to send them to my family and friends. Please how do I go about this to the police? Who do I contact? Im only 16, a minor in my state. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!! (link)
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Talk to your parents first, then call non emergency and ask the cops. It might not be a bad idea to ask if there's a cyber crimes officer available for you to talk to.
I know laws have been enacted recently about cyber harassment and specifically the transmission and retransmission of pictures of a naked minor. Straight up, you can get this guy nailed for kiddie porn. Don't hesitate to do that.
Keep records of everything. Turn on skype logs, aim logs, save texts, write down phone conversations and times, etc. These are for the cops/DA later.
Save copies of the pictures. As fucked as that is, if you store them on a thumb drive in your purse it's possible that police cyber crimes can use those to check his hard drive, even if he's deleted them they can likely be found.
Call the cops, give his name, swear out a complaint, turn over whatever you have. The cops will likely respond by issuing a warrant and confiscating his computer. Do not respond to him in any way, shape, or form before this happens.
Beyond that, it's up to the DA. The more evidence you can give her, the better off she'll be, but if they get his computer and he's got copies or they get his phone and he's texted them, he's entirely fucked.
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I Just Made 15 May 26.My Boyriend Is 17 Now bt his bday is october 10.So my dad is like he can go to jail and i dont want you with him.but ilove this guyy so much and i no some people are like your to young for all this but if you could feel what we have you would understand.we been dating for 4 months.hes much more mature than me and he says he loves me soo much.my family is trying to tears us apart.i tried to break up with him once,but he knew that it was not my heart speaking.He said ill do what ever it takes to be with you,we not had sex or anything so thats nothing to do with it.but my family wont leave me alone about him,its crazy love is crazy. (link)
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Control sexual urges and they can't touch him. If you can keep your hormones under control and act like you've got a cop looking over your shoulder at all times, then they won't ever be able to get this guy in any real trouble.
The other thing you can do is absolutely refuse to ever say anything to a cop other than "we've never had any sexual contact of any kind". Also, no matter what anyone including your parents says, you do not ever have to submit to a rape kit at a hospital or anything similar if you do not want to. Last, if your parents have friends on the force know that cops can and will lie to you, cops are not required to ever tell you the truth about anything.
You might also want to bring this up to a school counselor. They're kind of obliged to talk to you, and it provides a person you've talked to before he was ever arrested who can attest to the fact that your parents have serious issues with a guy and are possibly willing to lie to get their way and control you.
There's nothing unusual with a freshman dating a junior. If your parents are willing to lie, start laying a trail and involving non family adults like school counselors, or consider if there are adults within your family who would side with you over your parents and tell the truth about the fact that they're doing this to try to control you.
And always remember, keep shit as nun-ish as possible when you're around the guy. Pretty much anything that isn't kissing puts him at risk when you're talking about a jury trial.
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I'll just get right to the point here.
There's this really CREEPY guy whos two years older than me (he's about 17) and he has always bothered me...
i used to be friends with him, and a few months ago, he mysteriously got my phone number and began to text me
i left my phone for awhile, and when i came back, i had 5 or so missed calls from him and a voicemail or two.
This started a seemingly NEVER ENDING period where he would just call me non-stop all day, send me pictures of himself (just his face, looking sad, texting me, and leaving me voicemails. He must of called me 60 or so times over the course of a weekend. I never answered once which made him angry.
He began to call less and less until the point where he'd only call me once every few weeks.
I just ignored him in school and out of school.
So summer started about a week ago, and he started texting me again. and he was all like "oh we should date" or "why wont you give me a chance" and then he started getting really creepy and making me uncomfortable by saying things like "i think your so gorgeous and beautiful" and "how far have you gone with a guy, just curious". then he was all like "dont i seem like a really sweet guy because of the stuff im saying" and "why wont you just give me a chance, i can be a really nice guy if you get to know me"
by the way id like to say, i was NOT leading him on, so PLEASE dont try to stick up for him. i was truly trying to be nice to him-im always nice to people even when i dont like them.
he was also lying to me about how he "no longer smokes weed". this is a lie. hes a complete pothead, always has been. i hold a grudge with the whole stoner thing, but thats kind of a different story.
anyways, now for the bad part...yeah that wasnt the bad part.
so today he started texting me, and i pretty much told him to stop talking to me because he really annoyed me...and he FLIPPED out on me. he started calling all these mean names and stuff...a few of the texts were: (i apologize for the horrible language, but i just want to show the extremity of this..)
(i told him to go bother someone else, he replied with) "Ok. I will you fucking two-faced hobag"
or
(i said something like "wow your really pathetic arent you?" he replied with) "No you are a fucking cum guzzling thunder cunt. ok now stop texting me you ungreatful fuck up."
trust me, im a big girl, i can defend myself. some creep being a douchebag to me doesnt usually phase me too much, but THIS...really pushing it. Then it got worse
he started turning it around on me, saying that if i continued to text him he'd file harassment.
...
IS THAT A JOKE? after HE called me hundreds of times only a few months ago??
so then i told him to go to sleep (something like that) and he suddenly says this: "Why dont you go die. or i will make it happen."
i have to things to say about this.
1.I lost a very good friend of mine this year, along with another classmate, and death is still a sensitive subject, i try to avoid it if i can help it.
2. could this be considered a death threat? after i told him "thats pretty low. how dare you say something like that?" and he replied with "I wasnt kidding."
I dont think ive ever been so mad in my life.
he also started to get all snippy with me, like when i yelled at him and told him that was a serious thing to threaten he just replied with "ok cupcake". i just stopped talking to him after that
i couldnt even speak. i didnt know if i wanted to cry or blow up. he made me so frusturated and mad and, to be honest, scared. but i would never give him the satisfaction that he scared me
i dont know what to do. i already told me younger sisters about all of it, and i would like to tell my parents, but id be afraid theyd blow the situation up and report it to the police and everything. im not saying its unreasonable, i mean, its not, but it would be out of my control, you know?
and i know it was wrong to continue pressing the conversation, but whats done is done, and it ended up like this.
what should i do exactly? press charges? brush it off? try to talk it out? i dont know!? any input would be great :) (link)
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Wow. That is one hell of a saga you've got going there.
First off, not that you ever would forget it, but remember the way this guy acted. Remember what a guy is like when he tells you he's a "nice guy".
A "nice guy" is code for "a guy who will act nice and treat you well expecting you to act in return however he wants and who will consider you to "owe" him affection if you do anything other than tell him to get the fuck away. There are guys out there who treat relationships like a business exchange, they "do something for you" and you're supposed to love them for it and do something back. Usually doing something for you means they be somewhat nice and you doing something in return means a blowjob or something similar.
You are smart to run like hell from these people.
I get your concerns. You're not sure if this might blow over, and you're not sure if maybe leaving this alone will let it just go away. At this point, save the message on your phone, lock it so it won't auto delete. And try to forget about it.
If he texts you one more time, I mean for any reason, bring that text to your parents and a school counselor. He's a complete asshole, but at this point it's possible he's done with you and will leave you alone. If that's the case, it's probably best not to poke the bear yourself.
If the bear comes sniffing around again, take what action you can to prevent him from interacting with you again.
What he's doing is illegal. If he hasn't already stopped, take steps to stop him yourself. There is no reason on earth you should put up with his creepery, if he persists get adults involved.
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