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Worried about starting college next year
I'm starting college next year.
I have a lot of friends right now who love drinking, getting high, etc. In college, I'll probably be surrounded by MORE people like this.
The problem is I dont' drink and do drugs AT ALL. It's not even that I think it's wrong, I just feel I don't need it. I've tried beer and whatnot before and I didn't like the taste. I've never tried drugs but I don't really feel the need to get high or see a real point to it.
Anyway, how alienated will I be in college? I'm worrying that I'll stand out. Right now it's not too bad; I just don't hang around with my friends if they're going to be drinking and shit. But in college, will it be different? How do I cope?
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I was the same way. I've been to lots of parties where people offered me a cigarette or a beer and I've declined. You don't have to force your views on everyone then and there. When someone offers you something you don't want, just say no thanks. It's simple, but magic. I'm still friends with my drinking, smoking friends and they respect me for my choices. I still go to parties, and I still have a great time because I'd like to think I'm fun even without the help of drugs or alcohol.
Later in life, people will appreciate you and respect you, even if they don't now.
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Be non-judgemental.
I lived in a house in college with plenty of drinking. When I say plenty, I mean there was someone drinking somewhere in the complex almost all the time, parties every weekend, etc etc.
One of my closest friends from that house was straightedge. He was a goofy bastard who didn't like alcohol and didn't feel the need for anything else, same as you.
Own what you are and what you like. Tell people "I don't like alcohol or the way it makes me feel, and I've never had my own reasons to try anything else" and leave it at that. The reason there's so much peer pressure associated with this stuff is that there's alot of irresponsibility and alot of judgment thrown around. Often times, people who don't partake do so because they look down on it in some way and are more than willing to tell others that they're doing something wrong. No one who's drinking wants to be told that.
If you approach it instead from a "I don't care what you do, but it's not right for me" angle and can still hang out and have a good time, people will leave you alone about it. If they don't, find new people.
Myself, I'm not a fan of alcohol. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it, but at 6'2 with Cajun, Irish, and German heritage, I'm a tank. It takes me three to four times the intake in the same period to get as drunk as everyone else and to maintain it.
That's expensive and unpleasant. Imagine for a second, I don't like the taste of beer any more than you do, and while others can just drink it normally and get wasted, I have to drink it down fast and keep my glass full to get half as intoxicated.
The thought makes me kind of queasy, honestly.
That house I talked about? It took a while for everyone to get used to my "absolutely no beer, ever" stance. But they did, and I partied with them when people were drunk and I was sober because I didn't have/didn't want/couldn't afford hard liquor.
People respect your personal choices when you demonstrate to them that you choose for you, not for them.
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Hey, first off I want to tell you that I am very happy that you are a strong minded person!
- I am glad you don't let the negative things people do get to you to the point that you go on and get involved in so much Kaos.
- I have had the same experience before when my "friends" drank, and did drugs and I just never felt that I needed any of that to be happy or have fun.
but at the same time these people where like the only ones I hanged out with... I did not know what to do... stop hanging out with them? or just keep hanging out with them and get lured into their crazy ways when they did drugs etc. and get into unasked trouble?... I ended up stopping hanging around them and slowly moved apart from them... yes I was alone now but I learned how to deal with it because I'd rather enjoy the amazing positive things life had to offer than be around uncomfortable situations where I felt I truly did not belong.
- I am in college now and I keep to myself to be honest... overall you are going to meet all types of people in college those who are friendly, those who like to party like crazy,and those who stick only to studying and doing college related work... I suggest you don't worry too much about this "Alienation" because you will have your chances to approach and at the same time be approached by different people who might be friend worthy and those who might not be so.
- Pick the people you decide to approach carefully, start a conversation about anything... if they are a freshman, senior, how they like the college, the classes they have etc. the opportunity's to make good friends are endless your "job" here is to know who to approach and basically know how to choose your friends... I know you can do it and of course I know you might be nervous to approach someone but you can do it... approach someone who you see all the time perhaps at the library/cafeteria, or it can just be someone who you think looks friendly... if it turns out later on that this person is not the type you want to be associated with, then let them go...
- Things in college can be different yes... bit it is ultimately up to you to make the best out of this new experience... surround yourself with those individuals who will mostly help you and note end up hurting you in any way... you are already doing great by not hanging out with with those other friends of yours when they are drinking... one important key to being/ enjoying life is to live it the positive way and you I can see are doing just that! I gotta say I am happy to know this... just keep the positive people/vibes coming and you will succeed but most of all, enjoy the amazing positive things life has to offer and you will live an amazing healthy yet, fulfilling life filled with great achievements.
- I wish you the best and I know you can do it keep positive!
Best Always,
-trueadvice3
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Although college is a completely different ball game than high school, you will not be alienated.
Yes, there are plenty of people that party. Party animals that would even surpass your friends. But not everyone's like that and there are many people who don't do drugs or surround themselves with such activity.
College is more about individual freedom. There's more people, and people who are legal to consume alcohol. So in theory, you will be around more people who choose to do this, but you'll also be around more people who don't.
How do you cope? You'll find people who steer away from it all.
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