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Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
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January 15, 2006Answers:
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about

I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
I threw a party last weekend and one of my good guy friends, Chad, brought a guy I didn't know. I didn't care because the party wasn't invite only.
Well anyways, Chad always asks me to hook him up with my friends and I do. He's dated like 3 of my good girl friends.
Well the other day I asked him about his friend that he brought with him and if he was single and all. I told him that I wanted him to introduce us. He automatically said no. I tried to ask why and he just said that he didn't want me to date his friends.
That's the only reason he gave me which I think is complete BS because I always introduce him to people he wants to meet that I know. And this guy seems really cool (plue he's sooooo cute).
What do y'all think I shoud do?
In my opinion I think Chad likes you for more than a friend. It doesn't seem right because he dates your friends..but I suspect he has stronger feelings for you than you do him. What I would do is try to find out the guys number and call him yourself. Leave Chad out of it all together.
Ok so here's the story:
My grandma had a stroke about 4 months ago and recently went to hospital ffor gastritis. After she had the stroke for about 2 months she had to stay in a nursing home and then she came home. Now the problem is tonight her sugar is relly high but someone went for strong insulin so it'll go down.
Now here's the deal:
My uncle wants to put her back in a nursing home but I k now my grandma wouldn't want to be there. My mum, me, my aunt and everyone else in our family and relatives don't think it's a good idea because he's the only son, got all her wealth(which is alot) and now he doesn't want to take care of her. The problem is right...he doesn't take care of her...me and my mum and the babysitter takes care of her full time. We don't do it for money and we pay the babysitter to take care of the baby and her.
I don't know if it's a good idea for her to go in a place she doesn't like and now she's catchin back her senses and I don't want her to think we neglected her cause she look care of me and the baby as well as her kids and it will b e totally wrong. But on the other hand she might get better help and iff she gets sick they will have doctors and stuff! But I'm relly puzzled because I like her alot and I don't want her to stay there long!!!! I'm relly scared and confused! I duno if my uncle will leve her there forever or iff it's just to rejuvinate her? So if you can help me to make this decision and I'm sooooo sorry it's soooo long!!!!
Thanks for any help,
Trubled and confuzed!
This is one situation that is within my area of expertise. I assume you are not in the US because of your vocabulary, if I am wrong please let me know because I know of many resources in this country to help you.
Taking care of a family member at home is extremely difficult. Some people do it, but it can cause a strain on even the best family relationships. Sometimes we as people have to admit that there are others out there (such as nurses and trained personnel) that can do a better job caring for our loved ones.
Do not feel guilty about placing a family member in a nursing home when your best intentions are to get them the help that they need. You can go visit and enjoy your grandmother, but the visits won't feel like work or be task oriented so you will enjoy her even more.
Most family members at home, and staff at the nursing home cannot constantly supervise or sit by the bedside 24/7. There is a risk that she could fall and receive injuries anywhere she is. The risk will be less at the nursing home, but it is still there. Life is a risk..and even you or I can trip and fall down on our own accord.
You need to have a family meeting, possibly include the physician and determine what the care goals are. Is there a chance your grandma can get better? Then you want a plan that addresses rehabilitation pick a facility that can do that. She may be able to come back home after several weeks, if the Dr thinks this is possible and family members agree that should be the final goal.
Not all nursing homes are depressing lonely places. The thing is, you need to do a tour and ask a lot of questions. Visit more than one if that is an option. If your Grandma is admitted to the nursing home, it would give her an opportunity to socialize and have recreational acitivites with others her age. She may be resistant to going because older people do not like change, they also don't want admit that they are losing their independence, but with help from a caring staff she will adjust just fine.
Actually she may be more independent because staff will encourage her to do a lot for her self if the goal is to return home. Plus people are often more demanding on family members than they are others.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but from my experience in working with the elderly there are many good people out there that can provide good care.
The horror stories are over done, especially because the media likes to report bad things! Just inspect the home for yourself. Here's some links that can help. You can print these things out and take them on a tour with you.
http://www.athenahealthcare.com/admissions/nursing.html
i've had a headahce for over two months now, but today its so bad i was crying during track.
my stomach is cramping so much, and well i already pooped three times and i gotta go [so i gotta type this fast!]
i'm super tired and i just woke up from a nap
my legs hurt exrtremly bad[another story]
but i was crying at track..
my tummy hruts so bad an dmy head is pounding, i just want to go back to bed.
14/f
any advice? do you think i got the flu?
The flu is really an respiratory illness, cough, fever, runny nose. Many people think it has something to do with the stomach, but it does not. In addition the duration of the flu is fairly short and certainly not close to two months.
Regardless of what others tell you, you need to see the Dr.
There are so many things this could be it's not fair to you to guess, which may cause more harm than good.
me and my friend walked through a littel river it went above my knees i also got a bad scatch on my below my knee.. The water might be contaminated because there is alot of trash don't through there.. i know it's nasty but we just wanted to have fun.. if it was contaminated will I get sick from it?
Hi,
Don't use alcohol to disenfect the wound. Use antibacterial soap with water. Apply triple antibiotic ointment and a bandage. Call your Dr or clinic to see if you need a tetanus shot immediatly. If you notice that the wound becomes increasingly tender, warm, red or there is drainage you will need to seek medical treatment.
(ask your pharmacist about the ointment if you have an allergy to antibiotics)
The biggest concern would be an infection of the wound..but if you take care of it now most likely you won't become sick.
so i am 13. i get really embarassed becuase i havent started my period yet. all my friends have and i feel silly becuase i havent. how can i tell when i will. does using a vibrator everyday have an effect?
You shouldn't be embarassed, consider yourself lucky! Everyone is not the same, and some very late bloomers start around 15-16. As I said in the previous answer, the vibrator has no effect.
http://www.teenwire.com/ask/2005/as-20050802p1083-period.php
well;;if you use a vibrator everyday do you not start your period.
my friend britney wants to know
Tell your friend Brittney, that this would have no effect on when her period starts.
I just wanted to know if being constapated, is dangerious? I have a fever and am feeling really bad. I haven"t gone to the bathroom in four days.Is it dangerious? Can you get ill from it?
The four days of not going, if that were your only symptom would most likely not be serious.
But since you feel really bad and have a fever I would say it's highly possible you have something serious going on. If per chance you have a bowel obstruction and/or part of the bowel is not getting the proper blood supply this is life threatening. So the best advice in this situation is to see the Dr. right away to rule out anything serious.
im 16/female and i have diabetes type 1, ive had it since grade 2 and im still living. I need to know if anyone else who has this disease can help me. I want to know what would happen if my nondiabetic friends took insulin(what i use)and what would happen if i did pot. Thanks
Hi,
I don't have diabetes, but I am a nurse and have a family member with type 1 diabetes, who is a little older than you are.
If a person who does not have diabetes would take insulin their blood sugar would drop extremely low. It could go so low that they would go into a coma and die. If you've lived with diabetes for so long I am sure you have experienced a low blood sugar a time or two so you can explain to them what it would feel like. I honestly hope it's just a question, and not something you have considered doing.
As far as smoking pot, it has an effect on the cardiovascular (heart and blood vessels) system..and so does diabetes. In addition it would most likely interfear with your metabolism so you would not be able to regulate your blood sugar as well. This leaves you even higher risk for blood circulation problems that could affect your kidneys, vision and so on. Also your thinking will be altered and you might not be able to respond appropiatly to your sugars, diet, insulin and so on.
It's bad to take naps but sometimes I just can't focus anymore and just lay down and sleep for 2 hours about and when I wake up I feel so crappy! Thirsty, with a headache, and bad. I don't know if it has to do with not eating breakfast and eating a medium sized salad for lunch and a junk food snack at 3 when I get home from school. Could it be Diabetes? Probably not but I am not sure of anything right now. This happens a lot.
If you are concerned about diabetes or any other illness you should see your Dr. for appropiate testing.
However, I have those same symptoms when I don't drink enough water. Inability to focus, headache and thirst are also symptoms of dehydration. Try drinking 8 glasses of water each day and see if this changes. If you drink any beverage with caffine it will only increase the dehydration, so in this case plain water is best.
my mom and dad seperated last year. yesterday, i was borrowing my mom's phone, then it beeped. I thought the message was for me(from my mom, she has two phones) so i opened it. then it turns out the message was for my mom. i'm pretty sure her ex-boyfriend sent her that message. but from what i know, they're only friends now. there was some sort of code and i think it meant "luv yu", at the end of the message there was "Muah". friends don't really say that to each other do they? her ex-boyfriend is now living in another country. me and mom are going to that country this year and we're meeting him there. the reason my mom and dad seperated was because of her ex-boyfriend--and he took drugs too that time(my dad).from that message, is there something going on between them? or am i being completely paranoid? oh and should i confront my mom about this? i wud really appreciate your help! tnx in advance!
Hi,
As far as something going on between them, it's difficult to tell with this little information.
I am not sure if confronting your Mom is going to help the situation because I don't really know what you are trying to achieve here.
The term "Muah" when spoken usually means kisses--or to send kisses. But in online acronyms it means "Multiple unsuccesful attempts at humor"
does all girls blead when they have firs sex
Since I don't know your age I am going to give a very simple answer. "No"
i dont look fat, but im overwieght. im 13 and im 5'6 and about 150 lbs. im on a swim team, lacrosse team, soccer team, im not a couch potatoe. my parents think i am. my dad bought a box of cookies, and i had 2. they were gone by the end of the night and my mom told my dadthat i probably had 4 or 5. i didnt and i told them and my mom was like whatever and my sister said she had 4. i have a check up tomorrow at the doctors, and my parents are gonna be reminded how fat i am. it hurts me cause i know im freaking fat and i would do anything to change it but they dont need to talk about me even though im just upstairs. i never cry yet i am right now. just tell me im not over reacting.
Yes, your question did make sense. You are not over reacting. You are not fat. Since you are 5'6, and very active don't worry about your weight. This can really affect your self esteem, but you need to convince yourself your fine and don't worry what others think.
When I get up from my seat or the bed and I see spots for a few seconds, what is that?
Although this may happen to many people you shouldn't assume that it is normal.
What I would do if it were me: Take your blood pressure 3 times in a row for three days. Take it lying down, sitting up, and then standing. Keep a record to show your Dr. It's always best to discuss health concerns with a Dr just in case.
Check out these links.
http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec03/ch023/ch023c.html
http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/921445822.html
hey umm i smoked weed the other night nd i threw up n my heart was racing . . . is that normal?
Pot has an effect on the cardiovascular system (heart and blood vessels) which could make your heart race and pound. This is also an explanation for blood shot eyes after smoking it. Throwing up is not common, but it can happen especially if the pot was laced with a dangerous chemical. I believe PCP is still being used, because it makes the pot addictive. It is quite possible you had an allergic reaction, in that case I think you should stay clear of pot and other drugs because with each reaction the effects will be worse and it could kill you.
http://www.marijuanaaddiction.com/other_pcp.html
Okay, my name is Saylor I am thirteen and I'm starting to have boy trouble. Okay I know a bunch of boys that like me and I can have anyone of them that I want I know this because they have all asked me out... except for one that I am really crushing on. Okay here is how it goes... Okay tonight was the big baseball game against Owsley County and Lee County. (two counties that are enemies) Me... being from Owsley. Okay the boy I like plays baseball for Owsley. I was watching the game and my bff Whitley came over there and told me to come in the dugout. Well this boy (Nate) was sittin out cause he sprang his hand. I sat with him the whole time I think he was flirting with me but Im really not sure. He sat with me on the bus on the way home and everything. He was tickling me and laying down against me trying to go to sleep and I really like him. He is way sweet. The question is what can I do to get him to like me more, and how can I find out if he likes me. Thanks... I heard your alot of help... dont let me down.
Hi,
I am wondering about the subject line...
"help i feel like my life is at risk"
Glad he likes you but don't risk your life for a guy!
Added info: If you are going to cry wolf, at least expect someone to respond. Thanks for the terrible feedback, but I consider the source.
My two best friends, have started shop lifting and the other week stole £50 in value each I want them to stop because I don't want them to get caught.
I want to go shopping with them but if they're stealing and they'll get caught I will get in trouble to.
I think they're peer pressuing me to they all telling me to join in and its fun but I really dont want to.........
How can I get them to stop?????
Please help I rate high!!!!!!!
Yes, you risk getting in trouble too. If they are pressuring you to do something illegal they are not really your friends. I know you want to go shopping with them, but don't. They will get caught eventually and maybe it will make them stop, maybe not. At least you will be the better person!
http://kidshealth.org/teen/school_jobs/good_friends/shoplifting.html
I’ve been having issues with my parents lately. I have a different problem for each of them. I guess this is a two-part question.
In order to fully understand my situation, I think a little background information is required . . .
My parents met one another while they were in highschool. They started dating soon after and eventually my mother ended up pregnant with me at the age of seventeen. It was completely unexpected and unplanned - I was a ‘surprise’, if you will. At the time, my grandmother was a very traditional woman. The idea of premarital children just didn’t sit well with her. She managed to convince my parents that marriage was their only option. They married three months after I was born.
Because my father came from a wealthier family, he graduated from highschool and was able to attend university. My mother, on the other hand, dropped out of highschool four months before her graduation so she could get a full-time job in order to support me and father while he was in school.
It’s not really a surprise that my parents are divorced now, they have been since I was five. But that’s not the issue. I live with my mother and stepfather now and she often talks about how she wishes she hadn’t been so careless when she was younger. She’s always warning me not to ‘throw away’ my youth like she did.
I know she doesn’t mean it, but sometimes I feel as though she resents me. I can’t help but think about how much better her life could have been had she not had me at such a young age. I know this is all in the past, and what’s happened cannot be changed but I would just like to know how I can get past this feeling of “I ruined my mother’s life”. I'd like to be able to stop feeling like a mistake.
Any and all advice is welcome =]
And that’s just my mother. . .
Now for part two - my father.
Like I mentioned before, my parents got married and then divorced at a fairly young age. I live with my mother so I only see my father once a month, if that. I wouldn’t exactly say we’re close . . .
Anyways, a few days ago, my mother told me a story about my father that really disturbed me. She told me that three days before their wedding, at his bachelor party, my dad had cheated on her. And even though she knew about it, she still married him. I was completely shocked when I heard this. I can’t help but be angry at my father. He doesn’t know that I know about this yet, but I would really like to confront him about it. I’ve talked to my mom about it and she doesn’t want me to say anything to him. She suggested that I just let it go. However I know that I won’t be able to do that. To me, this isn’t something I can just forget about. I would like some sort explanation from my father, even though I know he wont have one for me.
I’m supposed to have dinner at his house Monday night and I plan on confronting him then. My only problem is that I don’t know how I should go about this.
Any suggestions or any advice whatsoever would be greatly appreciated =]
Sorry this is so long =/
I am so sorry that you are feeling bad. Sometimes it's hard to get past the pain that parents unknowingly cause, but with a little work it can be done. An unplanned pregnancy is not the same as an unwanted pregnancy, and no child is ever a mistake. We are all here for a reason.
The mistakes that were made are owned by your parents and have nothing to do with you. You didn't ask to be conceived, or had no say in the matter.
Your Mom could have made other choices and her life would have been different, but not necessarily better. So while we can all wonder about the past, there is no way of knowing what would have happened if it didn't happen.
I honestly don't know what purpose it served that your Mom told you about your Dad cheating. Sounds like your Mom is projecting her hurt onto you. Don't buy into it, "guilt" has ruined many people, and Mothers have a way of making kids feel guilty! That issue is theirs to deal with and is no reflection on their love for you.
I honestly think in order to let go of these resentments "feeling like you've ruined your Mother's life" and "feeling angry because your father cheated" you must forgive them. I believe if in your heart you can feel "They are not perfect but I love them anyway" Your life will start to take a new direction.
Check out this article:
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200305/omag_200305_parents.jhtml
I have to write a poem in the style of Sylvia Plath, but I'm not sure what I'm doing. Can anyone help?
I believe that she wrote in two styles, Prose and confessional style poetry. If you do a search on those topics I bet you can find what you are looking for.
well here is the deal
i have a muscle spasm/pulled muscle on the top of my leg theigh (or however you spell it)
well to make it better i was told to go to theropy and rest it.
ive decided that im going to finish out track because there is only like 2 weeks left and i will rest it extra after that
well that goes against what the doctor says so my mom said she will no longer take me to the theropy
at school the trainer does basically everything they do at theropy but still i would rather go to theropy because it would be better for me
so what can i do to make my leg better and still run track (which if you say quit or take a break i can tell you right now i wont)
and i was given cruches at the hospital a few days ago should i still use those? i know working the muscle will only help be but i didnt know if i should use the cruches during the day till track is over
any ideas suggestions stretches whatever are welcome (except for telling me to stop running)
Okay, I won't tell you to stop running. I can't go against what a Dr told you, because he/she apparently examined you and would know best.
I agree with your Mom, if you are non compliant with the Dr's orders, you may as well not go to therapy because you are going to undo everything they have done to help you.
As far as advice I am just going to ask you a question to ask yourself. In 10 years which will have more of an impact on your life, sitting out of track for 2 wks, or walking with a limp forever?
Well my hair is extremely curly and frizzy. I want to know what I can do with it to make it less frizzy/curly without any products. I use heat styling (straightning irons, hair curlers) all the time but my ends are getting really split so i need a new way. I tried sleeping with my hair in pigtails and then hairties down the whole thing, it takes the frizz away but it looks bad. I also tried rag curlers and that didnt turn out the best does anyone have any other ideas?
Thanks much =)
Sometimes it's all about what kind of brush you use while you are blow drying. The brush that spins...can't think of the name works really well. However to keep the humidity from frizzing it again you probably need to apply a product that more or less seals the hair shaft. I have the same problem. Something a bit old fashioned but very simple and cheap is brell cream...just rub it into the palms of your hands and pat your hair all over with your hands, that way it won't seem oily.