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This is a complicated story and I need alot of options
Ok so here's the story:
My grandma had a stroke about 4 months ago and recently went to hospital ffor gastritis. After she had the stroke for about 2 months she had to stay in a nursing home and then she came home. Now the problem is tonight her sugar is relly high but someone went for strong insulin so it'll go down.
Now here's the deal:
My uncle wants to put her back in a nursing home but I k now my grandma wouldn't want to be there. My mum, me, my aunt and everyone else in our family and relatives don't think it's a good idea because he's the only son, got all her wealth(which is alot) and now he doesn't want to take care of her. The problem is right...he doesn't take care of her...me and my mum and the babysitter takes care of her full time. We don't do it for money and we pay the babysitter to take care of the baby and her.
I don't know if it's a good idea for her to go in a place she doesn't like and now she's catchin back her senses and I don't want her to think we neglected her cause she look care of me and the baby as well as her kids and it will b e totally wrong. But on the other hand she might get better help and iff she gets sick they will have doctors and stuff! But I'm relly puzzled because I like her alot and I don't want her to stay there long!!!! I'm relly scared and confused! I duno if my uncle will leve her there forever or iff it's just to rejuvinate her? So if you can help me to make this decision and I'm sooooo sorry it's soooo long!!!!
Thanks for any help,
Trubled and confuzed!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
This is one situation that is within my area of expertise. I assume you are not in the US because of your vocabulary, if I am wrong please let me know because I know of many resources in this country to help you.
Taking care of a family member at home is extremely difficult. Some people do it, but it can cause a strain on even the best family relationships. Sometimes we as people have to admit that there are others out there (such as nurses and trained personnel) that can do a better job caring for our loved ones.
Do not feel guilty about placing a family member in a nursing home when your best intentions are to get them the help that they need. You can go visit and enjoy your grandmother, but the visits won't feel like work or be task oriented so you will enjoy her even more.
Most family members at home, and staff at the nursing home cannot constantly supervise or sit by the bedside 24/7. There is a risk that she could fall and receive injuries anywhere she is. The risk will be less at the nursing home, but it is still there. Life is a risk..and even you or I can trip and fall down on our own accord.
You need to have a family meeting, possibly include the physician and determine what the care goals are. Is there a chance your grandma can get better? Then you want a plan that addresses rehabilitation pick a facility that can do that. She may be able to come back home after several weeks, if the Dr thinks this is possible and family members agree that should be the final goal.
Not all nursing homes are depressing lonely places. The thing is, you need to do a tour and ask a lot of questions. Visit more than one if that is an option. If your Grandma is admitted to the nursing home, it would give her an opportunity to socialize and have recreational acitivites with others her age. She may be resistant to going because older people do not like change, they also don't want admit that they are losing their independence, but with help from a caring staff she will adjust just fine.
Actually she may be more independent because staff will encourage her to do a lot for her self if the goal is to return home. Plus people are often more demanding on family members than they are others.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but from my experience in working with the elderly there are many good people out there that can provide good care.
The horror stories are over done, especially because the media likes to report bad things! Just inspect the home for yourself. Here's some links that can help. You can print these things out and take them on a tour with you.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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The pros of sending your grandma to the nursing home
1. She is well taken care of
2. If she is experiencing any medical conditions, there are professionals around
The cons of sending your grandma to the nursing home
1. She'll feel very lonely
2. Consider that she is ageing and just want to be with her family
Besides, she IS after all the one who gave life to the family in the first place.
No matter how many challenges or limitations she might give the family, it is only fair for you guys as children and grandchildren to tend to her needs.
I'm sure your grandma will be delighted to see her grandchildren coming back from school and her children coming home from work. And having dinner together as a family.
No matter how old you are now, you should express your point in this. Have a sit down with your elders (start with your mom), and express your concerns. There is nothing wrong for them to hear from a younger member of the family.
Hang in there....
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i had the same problem without wealth and stuff and it was with my grandpa but it was the same and we didnt because he ended up dying last summer and even though he lost his memory and some othe senses in the stroke he had a good life and we knew he didnt like it in the home so we got him out when we could and he had a good last 5 years so i say stop your uncle from doing all tht
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DONT LET HIM DO IT!
my grandpa, was in the middle stage of developing alzheimers desise and my family thought it would be best for him. when we went to see him there was a big bruise on his head because he fell and no one was waching him. and before that we went to visit him and his diaper was full (he forgot how to use the bathroom) and we took him out of there, hired a personal nurse and he lived 3 months longer in our care then what the nursing home had said.
so i hope i gave you an idea of nursing homes. there not always the best desicion.
much love
lila
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well, its really up to your family. I would say wait a while and see if she gets stronger and healthier. But, if her health decreases, i would definatley consider a nursing home. once she gets to know people and make friends, im sure itwouldnt be that bad. and making that choice would be in her best interest. But i would wait and see.
hope this helps, good luck. and i hope your g-ma gets better soon.
if theres anything else you wanna ask, go ahead!
peace<3
*jaimee*
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